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Everything posted by Paula

  1. Finally he's got a move in date. My autistic son 26 moves into his supported liveing flat on the 12th October. Can't beleive it's happening. Its great. He's happy. I'm happy. A new chapter. It's been tough but I'm looking forward to a new type of life. Brilliant social worker. Happy days.
  2. Thanks trekstar We've sent of his med report re his diagnosis of Autism. We're trying to get his banding increased. I've been to the gp and they've diagnosed me with stress. Its just very frustrating. We plod on.
  3. I've posted many times over the years, son is now 25. We're involved with the community enableing team and I'm trying to step away from him more not easy has he lives at home. Anyway he's insisting he wants to leave home so I've contacted gateway to care to request a assessment for care, and they've told me to register him on the choose nd move housing.. I've done that but not filled in form best wait till he gets, a social worker plus I need a few tips and help re the forms. Anyone else can give me tips, advice at working through this mindfield of you're autistic son or daughter moveing out. I think he's better of at home but at the same time eventually hell be alone because I'll be dead.. And I'm getting too old for to be blunt his sh*t he's always shoring and kicking off he really upsets the home. It's time for him to move on. But I need him to be happy and safe and reasonably close by.
  4. That was quick, they've rung me lovely lady had a nice talk. Things have settled again now but we do need to put things in place. She's suggested that I get him formally diagnosed with a learning disability so I've rung my gp they ring me for a telephone consultation in 2 weeks, she says we could do with knowing if his behaviours are down to the autism alone or if there's also a learning disability along side. The lady who rang is going to speak to me next week once she's investigated a few things. It was so nice to let it out all my worries over his future as I'm getting older you just become aware of your mortality and the what's going to happen to him. I love him, he's our son I feel so guilty that at times I could scream and run away that I could boot him out just to be free of it to be normal again.. But I'm human and some days are bad days. Feeling more positive. He's away for 2 days with the mencap. So I'm able to re charge.
  5. My son now 25 went to a main stream school with a statement for one year at 5 and it was a nightmare, I was constantly down there going over his needs ect ect long story short we sent him to a special school best decision we made.. We no longer had issues like your haveing where teachers weren't aware ect... Whilst at mainstream our son was allocated 15 hrs a week with a support worker.. Does your son have that.. Does he have a statement.. If he's not got a statement I found to be blunt teachers talk the talk but actually don't have to do anything... I'd complain to the head the goveners and if you get no joy go higher. Not the same but last year I'd a friend had issues with a school and her daughter who has adhd similar thing no one passing on or acting on Info we went to the local news and told the school that's what we would do... They soon sorted out the issue
  6. They've rung me back apparantkt I've to be referred to the enabling team first to see what we can do to help him become more independent.
  7. Good it does make a difference when it comes to getting help, applying for benefits and as I'm finding now accessing supported living.
  8. My son now 25 didn't get his diagnosis till he hit 20 so I hope you get yours sooner. The physcologist asked loads of questions very specific ones going back to his early years, I'd to attend around 4, 3 he sessions but on our first meeting and with in 15 minutes she said he's very autistic but I've to go through the tick sheet. It is hard to remember everything but I'm sure your memory will trigger once you start. Good luck
  9. Spoken to adult social care they'll make the referral for a care assessment and start the ball rolling towards him living away from home. I'm just so drained with it all can't believe I've spent 25 years dealing with this seams like yesterday I first posted on this forum, never imagined it would reach this stage.
  10. Feel for you my sons 25 a nightmare I can't take it anymore so no advice I wish I had, it gets worse as you get older weaker ect and they get stronger and bigger
  11. He's 25 six foot 1 and 17 stone I'm now 50 husbands 56 I can't take anymore of his, aggression and total unreasonable behaviour his holloring shouting slamming doors stealing out of my purse trashing our bedroom I'm sick of it all he's got to go, I'm ringing social services last year I called but was talked into not persueing supported living due to him being better of at home blah blah yes he's better of me and my husband aren't I want my life Back I can't take no more of this sh*t. He's barricaded in his room thank god. I feel guilty but I'll get over it.
  12. Hi My son is diagnosed he's 24 he loves Xbox but hates to loose and reacts just like your son.He plays online and is always ranting people are cheating, its not faire he gets in a right strop.Its hard to just not get involved and leave them to it but we try.I found it's best not even to casually enquire as to what's wrong it just fuels his rant.We ignore him let him rant it tends to blow over.When he's calm again we find its best not to bring up the subject it can set him off again. We didn't get the diagnosis till our son was 20 but we knew and he had attended a special school with a statement. I suggest you speak to your go say you want him accessing it took 12 months on a waiting list in our area to see the physiologist then a further 6 for the assessment.
  13. He lives at home,he has his own space lock on door TV game console sky multi room Netflix amazon ,he's plenty cash,he goes off on weekends away every three weeks with mencap ,he s friends ,voluntary work he's got a great carry on ,he's a pain at times ,but he's our pain.Just a bad day all round.
  14. He's a grown man 24 so what he's a diagnosis of autism does that give him a free card on being awfull to me his mum shoes done every damn thing for him whoes sorted stuff supported put myself last constantly....the little has just text me whilst hollering abuse. Least I'm fit and healthy...I'm looking at a possible diagnosis of ovarian cancer ...I'm in tears there's no excuse he's a rotton son ....I can't stand him at times he makes life hell but you stick in they're don't you but for what ...I've had it with him if I could walk off never to return I would.So tired of this
  15. Social worker says he's better of at home both financially and care wise,deep inside I know this.God I'm so torn on bad days I just want him gone then I feel guilty he's our son we love him.He's gone to a scheme with mencap and it arranges weekends away and holidays and he's of on one in may first time without him in ten years I bet we miss him ..... Social worker thinks if he does more gets our more then he won't want to move out. I guess this is our life his life its how it is so its best to accept it every time I try to change things I get upset and I'll with the stress.
  16. After almost six months someone called and he's been allocated a worker they're coming out next week.
  17. No advice just didn't want your post to go unanswered Could a hearing testing place say boots advise on tinatus .
  18. Still waiting for help I phoned at Xmas saying our son needed either shared lives or supported living we still haven't had an assessment still haven't been assigned a case worker.Unbelievable but he was referred to a specialist autism service who refused him he's a diagnosis of autism ffs it baggers believe and was passed back to adult services.I've rung them again chasing it.He's as I type locked in his room ,not speaking,he's broken things,he comes out when I go out say to walk the dog.I'm so fed up but with all this ,what triggered him this time well he insists we took his blasted Pringles we didn't he ate them but refuses to accept this.I'm annoyed because he's taken things out of my purse and destroyed my weekly bus ticket it had four days left on it.He's smashed his head set for his Xbox and ripped of all his bedding.I'm trying to just think sod you and carry on as normal kind of hurt yourself with your actions you won't get to me but its hard.I'm fivety next year and to be blunt it would be great if he was out by then.Is it wrong to want normality,peace for me and my husband to have a nice home life instead of his .I love him he's our son I hate the fact he's autistic I wish I'd never heard of it,certain aspects of his behaviour never alter the kick offs over nothing,the total disregard for anyone else,the me me attitude,he can be so hurtful and he's so stone cold cold and emotionless .
  19. Thanks for both your replies I'm still waiting for whoever I was referred to to contact me I've no contact detailed or any idea who I was referred to,the wheels move slowley.
  20. I'd assume that because you own your own home that the council have no obligation to provide a larger home for you all I can think of is if you'd qualify for any grants or financial help to extend your home by adding bedrooms.My nice lived in a council house her son was severely physically disabled and the house wasn't suitable and even though eventually they tot rehoused into an adapted home it took ten years.Try googling charities or I remember from years back the rowntrees foundation provided grants and help to families but I'm going back twenty years.
  21. Awfull Christmas son almost 24 went into a rage boxing day morning spent the next four days locked in his room refused to speak refused food drank water from the tap when we left the house didn't bath for over a week trashed his room I was in a right state upset he did holler he was leaving he didn't but I've contacted social services and said we need help respite or a scheme called shared lives so we can begin the long process of him going into supported liveing it upsets me but I've had enough of his outburst and regimes his controlling ways I'm getting to old we didn't have anyone round over Xmas we didn't go anywhere we never do so he hasn't the reason of change to account for his behavior
  22. Weight of mind realy is saves me appealing too tired to fight but woulda done
  23. Update son was awarded pip didnt even come out to see him enhanced daily liveing basic mobility i worried over nothing the physcolgist report and diagnosis was all that was required
  24. Got a feeling our son will be comeing on holiday with us I am glad if he comes much as id love a break deep down inside even though if he refuses to come we would leave him id be fretting over it all anyway last week he was grumbling and stomping round hungry makeing noises along the lines of mum cook me something and i thought no you know what you do it so i said to him well i wont be here the week were away on holiday youll have to do it all youre self with no imput from me to ensure its cooked properley so youd better start practiceing now............he grumbled stomed banged pots cooked a realy rotton stir fry it looked awfull and he took forever to eat it...........it took all my will not to step in and sort it for him but i held fast......... Anyway nhjow hes talking about he doesnt need any new t shirts for the holiday and hell take his sunglasses ect and will the dog be sleeping in his room so it looks like he will be comeing .................i do hope so still not heard anything from the social services re getting him assesed...........could take months............
  25. Update pip a nurse from dwp rung to ask me a few questions regarding sons speech to cut long story short looks like he will be awarded pip and theyll be no need for a face to face assesment she says the the physcologists report diagnosing his condition is detailed enough and her report will be favourable so fingers x ill keep u posted
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