Tanya52

Hi I experienced everything you described and more. In addition I'm not a native speaker and has been a student ( mature) for the last 7 years. It might sounds crazy, but once I decided that I deserve better. So, I often felt like a kamikaze, learning to make small talks and trying to read and understand emotions. The best thing is that your anxiety ( in my case panic attacks too) are no stronger then you. I tell you! The second best is that people are good. Really! I've learnt to learn to trust others. think

Hello On a topic. Prince's trust has two branches, the second is for Mature Enterprise (over 50). Your business idea, from my point of view, sounds quite risky and, consequently, a business plan, I recon, is the first necessary goose step. Nobody in the right mind would give a loan for a business proposal without proper risk estimation. Last year we've met a young millionaire who've made 4.5 mil in 4 years. A student, he estimated zero probability of taking a loan, sold his old cheap car and invested a small sum in his first business idea. That young man is amazingly infections with positivism and pragmatism. He sees business opportunities where other see nothing or just problems. Yes, he sold his first business and now has another 2 + a few more ideas. How about a different business model without taking any loans? Is there anything you REALY like? Really passionate about ?

Hi Jef, Welcome aboard! I'm glad that you've got the result and found some answers to your questions. Tell us more. T:)

The psychologist who did my assessment interviewed my husband. He said the best would be to interview my parents but that wasn’t possible. He asked my husband “Do you think she’s weird?”

Hi Aura Quite right too! I did not mean to hijack your thread, just made a mistake, tried to delete my message after posting it but was unable to do so. I am sincerely sorry for upsetting you and promise it will NEVER happen again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KZjvlKjeXI

Hi Essentric, Thanks for your reply. Patsy is a voice/acting coach, one of the best in the UK. Her book Presence: How to use positive energy for success in every situation, is a manual how to navigate in social interaction with focus on self-development. This model of connectivity with environment called ‘Presence’. I thought it might be compatible with your description of feeling a part of it. What can I say? It’s different. Her methodology might seem as a bit laborious( breathing excesses, posture exercises and lots more) but one might find them beneficial and fun to lean. This lady is coaching some of the most celebrated actors, prisoners, severely disable people, you name it –she’s done it. Unfortunately for me, a few years ago she moved to LA and doesn’t teach in the Central Voice and Drama in London any more. They do personal coaching and short courses .

Hi Essentric, Thanks for your reply. Patsy is a voice/acting coach, one of the best in the UK. Her book Presence: How to use positive energy for success in every situation, is a manual how to navigate in social interactions, with focus on self-development. This model of connectivity with environment called ‘Presence’. I though it compatible with your description of feeling a part of it. What can I say? It’s different. Her methodology might seem as a bit laborious( breathing excesses, posture exercises and lots more) but one might find them beneficial and fun to lean. This lady has been working with the most celebrated actors, with prisoners, with severely disable people, you name it –she’s done it. Unfortunately for me, a few years ago she moved to LA and doesn’t teach in the London's Central Voice and Drama any more. They do personal coaching and short courses .

Hello Eccentric! How you doing? You might right on this one. Isn't it just a guessing game? How do we know who is and isn't AS? Unless they themselves told so. What do you think? Please check this link if you've got a minute http://www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk/people.htm

Hi Gina, You’ve observed a classic example like one of those described in Erick Berne’s the Games People play! Ones I fund a community on the Internet , its objective is to unite similar thinking people all round the world. Unfortunately I haven’t saved it in my favourites but the fact is that this movement has begun already. On the other hand it could be all smoke & mirrors.

Hi Gina, I’m glad that we're on the same page! I agree that an utopia/an idea could be a very pleasing thing but its execution/implementation might turn pretty ugly. I think about it as a series of macro-social experiments in different cultures. This belief system has changed the world as we knew it, changed the way many people think and behave.

Hi Essentric, Thanks for interesting observation, I’m trying to understand. What do you mean by saying ‘you can never - metaphorically - reach out and touch your environment’ ? Does it mean that we’re not capable to learn a new experience? You might find some answers in Patsy Rodenburg’s Second Circle. There’s her model ( you use the word ‘metaphorically’) of connectedness - ‘presence’. There’re also a practical piece of advice and plenty of exercises to get connected to the world around, so you feel present.

Hi Gina, Here we have it! I’m not sure about all of the community but I totally support every paragraph of your manifesto. It isn’t a new utopia, we’ve got an example of it - Marxism and some even earlier contributions of the Russian thinkers like Chernyshevcky & Dobrolubov , not to forget the Quakers in England.

Hi Alex, Mel is right, there're some of NAS's fliers in a health awareness carousel in our library. It's very graceful of you!

Hi I appreciate that you’d like clarity. I’d like it too. I also need a safety net such as a prof advice for my employer, AS counselling and AS training for social interactions. All of this is available with the NHS Sheffield’s AS assessment Unit , or so my UNISON’ s rep told me, that her hubby had all of it as a package deal after his referral.

Hi Alex! It's a great stuff and I really like how it's done.

Hi Freenarative, Nice meeting you here You might find what you’re looking for on the NAS pages for adults http://www.autism.org.uk/ You GP perhaps needs some pursuing, or even some evidence. I planned my visit with disclosure very carefully and systematically according to the NAS’s advice. It’s true that this assessment is costly but your health had no price tag and it’s your right to seek a piece of professional advice. Kind regards

Hi Dekaspace, I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel that everyone is against me, and I don’t deserve it. Sorry you’re feeling hurt. It will pass. I too found out that my colleagues council employees who’re working with the general public on daily bases have prejudiced and didn't approve/interested when I discloses my condition. They might think I use it to get some credits for something I don’t deserve. Moreover there’re plenty of fliers about Asperger’s Syndrome at my workplace, but I think no one bothers reading it. I found a good piece of advice about a discloser on the National Autistic Society's website. You might find it useful too. http://www.autism.org.uk/ Take care

Hi Mike, I think I know one example. Take the university’s disability support (dyslexia/dyspraxia) tutors . SFE can give the money directly to a student with the current rate £ 70 h. But the tutor’s national insurance and pension fund payments would be that student’s responsibility. Thus, students have two avenues: to go to a uni’s team, who’d receive the funds and arrange a tutor( they apparently have a pool of sub-contractors) or negotiate privately taking personal responsibility for all of these payments.

Now you're talking business!

The house alarms too, which seems like going forever ( the normative limit is 20 min!).

I’m not sure that I've made myself undersood , sorry if that happened. In any case I hate to think that I might be hurting your feelings. Let us take this situation out of a personal into a new hypothetical perspective with the Third person's actor . My keypal Gold isn’t grumbling but sharing /explaining. He’s got some obstacles but hasn’t figured out a good plan for handling them. I know, from my experience, how useful negative emotions are to become a leverage of self-drive and creativity. It’s not just me, Seeto200 too, said, if I'm not mistaken, that we must use everything we’ve got to get what we want. Gold’s negative energy could be put into a good use as the motivational platform. Gold shouldn’t waist his experiences/emotions but use them & capitalise on them: making his plan, sticking to his guns and playing to win. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?/user/18555-seeto200/

Hi, I myself know pressious little about men’s friendship. There’s a bit of empirical research on gender topic which I came across, if I’m not mistaken, published by Deborah Tannen, the American linguist. It’s relatively straightforward : women do collaborate and support in a mixed gender group, while men do compete between themselves and women. It also explains my shock to my hubby’s sardonic remarks when I “do gender” been supportive, cos all that he wants me to do is a salient agreement = to shut up and listen. He : “Why would you always say something to everything I’ve just said?” I: “ Sorry, I thought you’re making your point and wonted to support you!” He: “Well, don’t !” It’s fascinating.

I hope you aren’t going to take it the wrong way. Buying new clothes would change very little if you’re not going to change how you're thinking about yourself. Your self-evaluation just in your last msg was “sap” & “soft touch” . In effect, what you’re doing is inviting people to think and to do , you know what! And why should you be surprised with the outcome? Some people are smart , some users and some just careful in their choice of friends but all of them could be looking for some cues for how to “process your social identity” through your language. Your situation and your language inspired me to buy that book about dating women from a female’s point of view. In a nut shell, I’m not a dating expert, but , her piece of advice about a man's self-respect/self-assertiveness and what kind of foreplay works in a dating game, I think is plausible and realistic, cos I’m a woman who’s been in that game before and know what it’s like. You might be right thinking about CBT.