mum232010

were waiting for the asd panel to assess my son, the camhs man said he is trying to push for it to be sooner due to recent circumstances, i know it probably varies in time from different town to town, but just a rough idea really would be nice? were half way through our 26 week wait for the statement, its all a big waiting game, good job really, it shows the professionals are looking in to everything else before a diagnosis. how long did you wait?? and do they all just get together and chat? or are we there for it? does it take one visit or many more? this process hasnt really been exdplained to me, i just filled in the form eager to get it sent waiting for it so long!!

hi all. no it wasnt your post, lol, dont worry, i was having such a bad day, then i went for a cuppa at my mums and she was not been very nice about the situation, and again, trying to tell me what to do with him, etc etc. so i was on a downer anyway. i do see your points totally, and i am glad your all giving me ideas and tips, i think once he goes back to schools for the mornings he may settle a bit better, and be home at lunch for the rest of the day, that way i have a break from him too, and can cope better in the afternoon wih him. he si a little worried about going back to be honest, dont think he knows what to expect, i have explained it all to him, so hopefully he should settle. he is very hyper again today, just bored i think, cant go out to the park as school said by law i cant take him out during school hours or i will be prosecuited! and kunch hour time wont be enough, plus he just runs away anyway, and in to roads and sees no danger so that is usually a 'in the car 2 people job' as i dont drive. we are going on the field next to our house after school time with the football, he likes this, run off some of his energy.

now i am thinking its all me, and not him, so many people saying he needs a good smacking, my answer there is this. i was a childminder for years, and the kids i looked after were happy, and knew boundaries, not a problem, i have a 9 and 3 yr old, again, both know boundaries, if it is my parenting then surely the PP would have told me so? the peaditritian praises me and dp for how we are with him. i just dont get though if he is 'normal' then why is he like this? and why would every specialist involved think he has mixed things of asd, thats wht it is taking so long to diagnose him? if he did know what he was doing and still doing it, then why dont the other 2 do it, or any other child i have ever known done this too?? i hate the'questioning myself days' i feel so down and its driving me mental.

i think it all depends on the person going to the school, my 5 yr old has been put on exclusion for over a week now, and then only aloud to do mornings with 1 on 1 support, and not even aloud to socialise with his friends there anymore due to his mager and danger to the other children, but some people with asd dont have anger issues at all, and may cope well, make some good friends etc. my sons problem is all the peers in his class are scared of him anyway due to his anger, especially the girls so he doesnt really have any friends at all, and the parents of them have told there child to stay away from him. the best thing to do is try it, you can always change your mind later if you feel it isnt right xxxx

feeling so sad and down today, hence why i am on here with 'help me please' threads, haha. dyl' is constantly pulling faces, the usual at the mo' is pulling tongue out, in peoples faces when things dont go his way, he will come right up to you, in your face and have the most eveil look about him, he goes right up to his 3 yr old sister and even pushes his face on hers whilst doing sit. he also places his hand infront of your face when e doesnt want to do something, he does this so much, when i am trying to explain to him what he has done wrong, even when i am quietand calm. he always looks the other way, hates making eye contact, always looking at the floor. gritting teeth in peoples faces is another one too. and when he is told not to do something we get a 'har har' really loud, and it makes my blood boil, though i dont let him know this. this usually results in quiet time as he will run riot shouting har har louder and louder until its too much for anyone around him, especially my parents, i can see them getting so angry with him, s they simply dont undrstand him. this is all happeninf all day long, throwing thigs, kicking thigs, slamming door, throwing chairs, running to his room, throwing things in there, breaking them. throwing anything he can find ( hence why he is excluded from school at the mo). constantly saying silly names to everyone like ''lamp head' 'carpet brain' depending on what room he is in at the time. its making my blood boil as there is no break inbetween these anymore, he is constantly doing one or the other from the second he leaves him room when he wakes up until the second he falls asleep at night. he is just one very evil boy!! that may sound harshe but its getting worse, the drs called it 'jekyl and hyde' as he was one or the other, but now its just all the time the evil one. i dont know what to do anymore. PP have given me so much info ignore the bad paaise the good, etc, i know it all but nothing is working. grrrr, rant over xxxxxxxx

wow thats brilliant, i like to help charities as much as i can, i bet it was fun been on the radie, was you nervous? i would be scared i said the wrong thing, haha. go you !!!

were baking a cake today, its dads birthday, and the kids are so excited to bake and more about licking the bowl out, haha!! the sun has gone in here in yorkshire, so its a washing day and a day in, tonight were doing a party tea, cocktail sausages, the kids favorate, sarnies etc. the kids love birthdays. what you all up to today??

hi all, we were given some strong post op sedative type medicine last summer for my son age 5, as he wasnt sleeping well atnight, no matter how tired he was his body/brain just wouldnt shut down, he would be awake until about 10pm rocking and singing in his bed, then up about midnight for a few more hours doing the same then he would be up about 5 for the day, but then tired during the day and again his body etc would allow him to relax when he was tured, so he would be harder to deal with at school. problem was it STILL did no difference so they swapped it for a strong travel sickness medicine, again didnt work. then a few months ago they put him on a strong antihistamine, and this however seams to work, he was given it at bedtime, and slept like a log for a good 10 hours, and was slightly more easier during the day, then advised to give it mornigs too, but lately with everything that has gone on with school/temper etc we went back to drs last week desperate for anything they could do to help, and we were advised to give him the same med' for 3 times a day and told to go back in a week, ashe said he will have good news for us, but he couldnt tell us then as we had to try this for another week. he is the peaditric dr and he is brilliant. well, 3 times a day, no difference, he still wont sit for longetr than 3 mins if that and always on the go doing something,m then comes the anger etc cause all he wants to do is chill out but only seam to be able to in bed on a night. anyone been given simillar meds' before? i wonder what the news is he is giving us? we mentioned ritalin, which i have heard mixed results about, from wiki' forums and general research, the worst is it can change your child in to a zombie, which i dont want!! then again some people have had brilliant results, he said this CAN be given whilst waiting for a diagnosis as we have years of evidence of ASD problems, just awaiting the panel for asd any advice would be brilliant thanks xxx

thanks chris54 for the info. i have decided to wait until friday when my PP worker comes again, she said she will help me fill in the relevant forms, as they know more about filling them in, and the wording to use, so i think thats my best bet i dont work at all now, but my partner works full time and earns £18-£20k per year, we dont claim any other nenefits apart from child tax credit of £75 a week for 3 children under age 16, i think the best thing i can do is just apply see what happens. thanks again all xxxx

thankyou, its is so nice to hear other people point of views rather than just me and dps, i totally understand where your coming from, as it is there ruby anniversary, but like one of you said, there are other kids there too, who can easily act up, as they often do. i feel the best thing for me to do is just go, take him along, it is during the day and in summer so i can take him for a calm down walk in the grounds if he gets to het up. i think the thing upsetting me more, is in the past we have excluded him so much and left him with the in laws, and so many people ask questions 'where is he'' and ''poor lad missing out'' as they dont quite understand asd problems. as dont many people who have not had to deal witha child like this. i will explain to him beofre we go about it all, and chat about what he wants to eat etc and take some fave toys for him to play with at the table. and hope for the best. and if all fails then i will eat outside and he can run about, haha. i dont know...if i dont laugh i will cry!! thanks again xxxxxxxxx

as you all might know by now from my other threads 'excluded from school' etc. i am now wondering about the future, which i know i shouldnt do, and i am trying to take 1 day at a time, but just received my collage pack for sept, i am joining a doula course and have been on waiting list for 18 months or more now, and i am not going to be able to go. there for i will be out of work longer. can i claim cerers for dylan, even though he has not yet got a statement or diagnosis? were waiting for the 26 weeks to be completed for the assessment for statement, and waiting on a list for a ASD Panel to assess him, this could take months too. in the mean time, i cant go to collage, let alone even get a job, and wondered if dylan is off school for so long and then only going back mornigs to start then home schooling if it goes back to him been violent again, not to mention i use to clean 3 mornings a week when dd2 was in nursery. and now i have had to give it up, so there is less money, we cant even afford the rent here, we only moved as it is right next to the school, s i had problems getting him there as he would just sit, or run off etc, so we now pay another £150 a month more than we did at the old house. i am getting worried now about the money in the future. please advise, thanks xxx

i am slightly angry, its my parents ruby wedding anniversary this august and there having a meal somewhere nice, and inviting close family, nannas etc. were invited, me, marc and our 3, age 3,5 and 9. along with my sister her hubby and there 2 age 5 and 8. mum said to me the other day she thinks i should leave ds at home with the inlaws as she feels he will spoil the day cause of his problems!! i am fuming, yesh we dont take him out to a meal often as he doesnt understand he has to wait for a meal, will probably throw things and run off, have to be taken out to calm down etc, but the fact they asked me to keep him at home has upset me more than anything. its bad enough he doesnt get to do alot of things becaause of the problems but for mum to ask me this has upset me so much. what would you do?? i told her if he gets to much then we will deal with it, like we do on birthdays,/xmas etc, and often if worse comes to worse dp usually takes him home and i stay with the girls a bit longer.

yes deffinately.. this is actually something similar to what i just posted called 'disapline' my parents ans my sister think its just me letting him get away with it. OMG!! and my sister who doesnt like my faince, blames him, saying ds is like it from him. again OMG, if this was the case them my 9 and 3 yr old would be like it too, my oh isnt even a angry person, he just doesnt do well in crouds, social family gatherings, says things silly and is sarcastic.. thats nothing!! they think if i leave my oh then all ds's probs will go!! i am fuming its getting all on top of me now, and i am ready to burst!!

the problem is this..... my son dylan, almost 6, suspected to be on the asd somewhere. he does seam to need alot of firm disapline, more than the average child, and it seams to calm him in a way, if you know what i mean? stops him going more hyper etc which he cant stop his self. but lately, i am getting alot of lip off my parents, mostly my mum, i have had years of '' he needs a slapped ######'' and '' it never did u lot any harm'' (i am 29) and yes i agree in a way, and it did teach me to behave, haha. but, this doesnt seam to work on him anyway, like it would any other child, it makes him more angry, we found this out when he was tiny and i would slightly tap his hand when told 'no', so over the last 3 yrs or so we had time out, as also advised by nursery at the time, and generally dont like to smack to be honest. time out worked for my 9 yr old, and my now 3 yr old, and she is an angel most of the time, i mention time out and she stops been naughty, then comes the over praise etc etc, we tried the lot. when dyl was excluded last week for throwing a toy and splitting someones head open, my mum told me not to let him on the computer at all for a week, and not treats etc, well,,, we decided to do this for 2 days so he could think about what he had done. it didnt even make a difference, nothing does with him really, as he doesnt realise what he did was bad anyway, he just doesnt understand it. but we wanted to do it anyway as we would have done the same with the other 2. it was a tough 2 days as he has obsessions with the same comp game and level of mario brothers, over and over again, and watching the same youtube mario game over and over too. so that was hard for him and us. then once i told my mum she went mad at me, saying i am letting him get away with too much!!!!! i was so angry, the way i see it is, if the social workers, school, parent partnership, and everypone else involved are telling me and my partner we are doing everything right, then why cant she? the problem with a child with asd/autiiam/aspergers/adhd, which ever he has. is they dont get it anyway, but i do feel disapline is a good thing to a certain extent, god we seam to be telling him off constantly for things, when i dont even know if it is his fault or not?? how do you deal with the telling off?? nothing registers with him, he doesnt know why his answer is ''he/she made me do it, they made me angry'' and since it usually happens when he cant have something now , like queing up, he goes mad as he says he cant wait, it takes too long etc. so in other peoples eyes he just looks like a spoilt child haviong a tantrum and who looks like he always gets his own way, but its actually the opposite!! then my parents question him, saying ''your sister will get some sweets, but you wont as you hurt someone' or ''nsaughty boys dont get treats' and dad saying ' i would clout him' and its getting me down so much now, they dont get it, and now i am getting down about it sorry its a long one, but i just cant wait for the day he is diagnosed and i can get a book and pass them it saying ''read this, this is your grandson'' i am so upset, what do you all do??

hi all. after chatting with my CHAMS supporter on friday for my son, he advised it would be good for dylan to be taught at home until the assessment and statement is complete, then we can look at alternative schools to suit him/special schools. ( as he is excluded at the mo, and prob not abkle to return) dylan is almost 6, and home scvhooling would suit me and him just fine, BUT i also have a 3 year old, and i am wondering how someone will be able to come in and teach him, when she is there, i cant be expected to keep her quiet, or put her in her bedroom? and she only goes to nursery 2 days a week. i cznt even think of another room for them to teach him in as we only have a 1 table in the dining room, and this is connected to the living room? sounds a bit of a silly thing to be up at night worrying about, but what do i do in this situation? as i cant get anyone to look after her either, and i dont fancy going out for the day and leaving dylan here with the teacher. does anyone have any experience in this matter? and how long would the teaching be for, do they do full days? half days? or with dyl been special needs, and wont concentrate will they just stay for a while? i havent asked the chams worker yet as he told me to call him in a month for more of a chat regarding this. thankyou xxx