Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About bonbons

  • Rank
    Scafell Pike
  • Birthday 02/02/1965

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
  1. My initial application for DLA for my daughter was successful and we now have to reapply. When she turned 16, it started to come out in her name so does that mean that she will now need to fill out the form and make the application herself? ( she will never manage!!!) Also , the first time around we had lots of supporting evidence from school, medical etc, including her diagnosis. Will this documentation still stand and taken into consideration or do I now need new documentation to support her application? Thank you all
  2. Thank you Lancslad for your very honest and colourful reply ! An interesting perspective and you have raised pints I have considered myself. We have 3 older children who all attended school prom with the same school, and who's experience wasn't quite as you described as they had a thoroughly good time with no excesses( thankfully!!!!) and my daughter remembers these events and sees the photos of her siblings on the wall, and I guess she wants what they had ! Why should she not have the same experience as her peers and feel like a princess for a day? ....... But..... My concerns are more centered around this experience, should she be allowed to go, falling way short of her expectations or even causing her distress. She had a difficult time in high school and suffered episodes of bullying and I can't really understand why she would even want to put herself in such a potentially difficult social situation, surrounded by youngsters who made life so difficult and enjoyed pushing her buttons day in day out! She struggles with using a knife and fork and I'm sure it wouldn't take long for someone to pick up on this around the dinner table! So I am very torn! I don't want her to go for me, but she wants to go for her , but the more you say she shouldn't , the more she says she should .....but then I think that perhaps disappointment now will save heart ache later! Beverley
  3. Hi , my 16 year old daughter previously went to mainstream high school but due to her difficulties , ended up excluded, and after a bit if a battle and a lengthy time out if education, we managed to get her a place at a superb special SEN school where she has spent the past year and has made encouraging progress . Her school don't however, hold a school prom, something she really desperately wants to attend! I have contacted her old school to see if an invitation could possibly be considered for her to attend thier prom with her friend who is still a pupil there. They will get back to me but I suspect the answer will be no! I have suggested buying her a prom dress and all that goes with it, and perhaps going for a meal but ' it's not the same' us her answer! Holding a party of our own is tricky to, as she only has one close friend. My main worry is that she will feel rejected.....again! Has anyone come up against this problem and if so, how did you handle it? Beverley x
  4. Thank you for the suggestions and very useful link!
  5. Hi all, just wondered if anyone could suggest a good book Particularly dealing with teens with aspergers and how to manage inappropriate bevaviours and depression? Many thanks Beverley
  6. bonbons

    hello :-)

    Hi.... Familiar stories! My daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers at 14 through CAMHS and is 16 now. It has been quite a journey... Ongoing of course, and we also didn't realise what was happening with her until high school, although when we look back to when she was younger, everything makes sense now! Still learning and tackling one hurdle at a time! We are also in the north west by the way, Warrington Cheshire to be precise. Hope you find your CAMHS more helpful than mine TBH!
  7. Hi, my daughter has a diagnosis of ASD/Aspergers and has just turned 16. We have claimed DLA for the last year for her and it has enabled us to do many lovely things that we might not have done otherwise.....weekends away with her as a little break for us all, day trips, meals out, and things which surround her special interests, as well as monthly pocket money...very useful carrot to dangle when working on behaviour issues! Now she is 16, a cheque has arrived in her favour for the amount of her monthly DLA. I called them to express my concerns about her having possession of this money as she is quite likely to blow it all on dvd's, skateboards, and energy drinks! They said that somebody would need to come out to speak to us and to her to evaluate whether or not she can manage her own money. Thing is, she would fiercely declare that she can!!! On the other hand, since she moved from mainstream to special school, she has begun to make more progress and is considering going to college when she leaves next year so perhaps it would be good for her to begin to manage money herself? Should I cancel the appointment and see how she copes with at least some of it, but if it all goes wrong, could I recommence receiving it on her behalf again?
  8. My daughter, now 16, was diagnosed ASD / aspergers, at 14, and is now doing much better now that she has moved to a more specialist school but tonight has made me think! My husband and I took her to 'spooky world' for her 16th birthday celebrations, and apart from a newly discovered sensitivity to strobe lighting, she had a great time!!! My husband however, did not! He had been dreading the prospect of having to meet parents, all day, and when we got there, was 'unhappy' to say the least, about various actors in costume, coming up to him, and ultimately, failed to enter into the spirit of things! He has , in fairness, always been like this, but I felt, rather like myself, that although I could think of better things to do, I would throw myself into it in order to please her, yet my husband seemed unable to do so! The level of noise from screaming, 'cut him to the bone', unquote! is there a link between Bi-polar and ASD? I have read that there is? came home,he went straight to bed! advice appreciated> .
  9. Hi, pleased to say that my 15 year old daughter settled in well at her new school and has been there a few months now. We have noticed big changes already in her behaviour, and her general attitude to education . She has an excellent TA who has managed to nudge her into lessons which would have previously sent her running for the hills, and indeed, in the first 3 weeks or so there, thats exactly what she did! ( well morrisons to be precise!). That has stopped and she is beginning to understand that staff are there to help her to manage her anxieties more appropriately and is willing to work with them now, however, at her recent 8 week review, it was suggested that anti anxiety medication should be discussed with camhs ( she currently only has melatonin for her sleep problems). This is not something I am entirely comfortable with and my initial thoughts on the matter were ' absolutely not, lets carry on with what we're doing', but equally, I don't to deprive her of something that could make all the difference? Watching her struggle to the point of almost pulling her hair out on occasions, when she has to make a decision for example, is really tough! What experience do other parents have of this dilemma? what types of medication are usually prescribed and did it help any of you guys, and are there any drawbacks ie side effects,reliance, withdrawal symptoms etc? Any advice would be appreciated!
  10. bonbons


    Hi, thanks for your reply. It's true to say that my daughter has not experienced the loss of a loved one, aside from a couple of hamsters and a cat! But, to be clear, this person she is mourning so deeply for, she has never met. He is an American skateboarder from a tv programme she watches so much so I don't think my g.p will be all that sympathetic with regards to grief counselling? I refrain from pointing out the fact that it isn't someone she knows. as the kids at school are doing, and I have told her about how I felt when my dad died, and also about how I felt when Joe Strummer died.....my way of hoping she will see the difference!This morning has been very difficult as she refused to shower or wash. and again, refused breakfast, and didn't see why I was sending her to school when she is so grief stricken, but you see, she is a boundary pusher, and if I allowed her to get away with it once and stay at home, she will try it again and again! Her special school are very experienced at handling her more difficult days but I am expecting a few phone calls today nevertheless! Often, when she has misbehaved and knows she has over stepped the mark, she will indulge in risky behaviour ie run away, self harm etc. so that people are no longer angry with her but have sympathy for her, and it seems to me that it is her need for sympathy that is driving this rather than genuine grief if that makes sense? I have told her that if she can hold it together, I will take her to buy a goldfish for her bedroom and call it after her 'hero'so that he can be represented in some small way, and she was briefly happy about this but half a cup of tea was launched across the room this morning because I wasn't sympathetic enough to give her the day off school!
  11. bonbons


    Hi....bit of a tricky one and I could really do with some advice! My daughter is 15 and is devastated at the news that one of her 'heroes' as she puts it, has been killed in a car crash. The thing is, she seems to have taken it very badly....she says she doesn't want to sleep and is refusing to take her melatonin, isn't eating much at all, refusing food, crying all the time, at home and at school ( no tears though!?), she constantly wants to talk about him and her grief and how she is going to cope and I listen and offer my advice as carefully worded as possible but nothing I say seems to help , and she has now taken to wearing a piece of black fabric around her arm in mourning! She has made badges at school of him and even went out for a walk after which we discovered that she had made RIP stickers and stuck them to lamp posts and trees all down our road! many of her obsessions are related to people she admires but now it seems as though she is obsessed by grief! Some of the kids at school are teasing her for her OTT behaviour over this and I am concerned that she will start refusing to go to school. I am struggling to fully understand why she appears to be grieving so deeply for someone she doesn't know and of course I would never say this to her for fear of belittling how she feels but if this continues for too much longer, it's going to cause real problems!
  12. oh jeannie....I can imagine how must feel. Last year, my daughter spent a couple of months in a young persons psychiatric unit. It was really tough! So many thoughts and feelings! On the one hand, as a family, we welcomed the break as at that time she was very destructive and even aggressive on occasions, and I knew she was in the right place to receive the help she needed and uncover what ever was going on ( it was there that she received her diagnosis at last), but on the other, despite all the problems, home wasn't the same without her and as a mum, I felt I should be able to make everything better! I really hope that your situation becomes a positive one for you both in which ever way that may be, and that you and Glen are receiving the support you need? the very best of luck to you both.
  13. We are most definitely riding that storm at the moment! Daisy is 15 and the last couple of years have been extremely challenging! I don't know the answer to your question, a question I have asked myself man times! BUT, we are beginning to turn a corner....baby steps, but nevertheless.... She had a hard time at mainstream, spent a year out of education and is now settling in to her new specialist school where their fantastically patient and understanding approach seems already to be making such a difference!That's not to say there aren't bad days because there are and we certainly find ourselves pushed to our limits, but as she is learning, so are we, and I understand her much better these days. I have renewed optimism for the future but I know from this forum that everyone's experience is different.
  14. my daughter is now 15 and has been seen by camhs for two and half years. Last May she was referred by them to a young persons psychiatric unit following am incident of self harm at school. We had to agree to this admittance and it was difficult, but we felt that Camhs had not yet got to the root of the problem, and now I am glad that we did. She remained there for 8 weeks and it was the psychiatrist there who diagnosed her with AS. We then started the statementing process and, in the end, managed to get a place at an excellent special school which they recommended to us. It has been a journey but she has settled and is doing really well now! From my experience, had she not gone there, she may not have not have received her diagnosis so promptly, if at all, and would have continued struggling with us wondering what on earth was going on! She is finally happy and making such progress!! I wouldn't like to personally advise you to agree to this but just wanted to relay to you how it was for us. Good luck with your decision and the future.
  15. I checked it out and thought it was quite good actually! Have told my teenage daughter about it too! Great for AS teens!
  • Create New...