LisaKaz75

I thought children could not be discriminated against and that the school had to help with this My son is nearly 5 and although in pants, he never says he needs to go to the toilet, he has to just be taken at regular intervals. He started school 2 weeks ago and so far no incidents, but he has not weed or done a number 2 the whole time he is there from 9 till 3.15 My understanding is that schools have to be understanding and realise that all children develop differently, as my child is SEN they can not discriminate It may be worth checking with your LEA what their policy is as the school may not be following guidelines, a quick web search shows different councils have different policies Hope this gets sorted LisaKaz

It is very frustrating, We suspected our son at 2 and were often poo pood by the professionals. In the end we pushed our GP for speech and language therapy, and she then decided he needed an autism assessment and started the ball rolling with the paediatricans It is very frustrating, we spent hours and still do going over and over things, but think about it if you dont understand and cant communicate you own little world is a safe haven. Speech therapy helped us. It helped us to simplify and helped him to learn some very basic tools. He is not at the same level as his peers, but at nearly 5 we can communicate with him Re things like kicking a ball my son could not do this till 4, he could throw but never kick, he also did not like walking up and down stairs and like ride on toys. it was felt that he just felt happier with 2 feet on the ground and was unsure if he felt off balance Try some other activities, dont try and stop him being in his world but join it. If he loves cars for example get on the floor join in and then try things like rolling the car up his back and see if you can get a reaction off him, or for him to do the same We went on a course run by our childrens development centre and used by speech therapist called More than Words - by Sussman. We actually found this really good (you can buy the book) It explains the different stages of development and interaction and gives lots of sound advice All you can do is keep trying and I remember clearly at 2 how disheartened we were and we sometimes have these feelings today. but then we look back at where we have come from and he is progressing in his own way LisaKaz

at 2 my little boy (diagnosed autistic at 2.5 years) hardly spoke and had very little interaction with us. It was worrying at the time, but he has improved no end with some speech and language therapy and with us learning techniques to get into his world. Yes he is still behind his peers in many ways including speech, but he can ask for things and make himself understood What I am saying is it does sound like there are autistic tendencies, but he is still young and with help he can develop - just do what you are doing! Push for hearing, speech and paediatric assessment LisaKaz

Glad its not just me that struggles with the self service. I am not autistic, but when I rush in with my child who is, I always look at the queue and think the self service will be quicker. It argues with me over the way I pack every item, the red light constantly flashes, the member of staff look at me like I am a complete idiot as i can not manage to use the damn thing!! The whole time my child is running off or is often leaning or sitting in the bagging area!! As the "helpful" member of staff pointed out - he is the unexpected item in the bagging area!!

The flumps and Bod - with the slurping milkshake!

My little boy did this at 2 and at nearly 5 has only improved slightly He eats bread, cereal, the odd apple, yoghurt and chocolate mini rolls and drinks only water. He eats no meat, fish, cheese, veg, fruit (other than apples) rice, pasta or potato We see a dietician. And although on the low end of the spectrum weight wise he is very healthy and full of energy. She thinks that with a vitamin supplement add things gradually and he will or will not have them At the end of the day you cant make them eat! The more you make a big thing of it the worse they seem to get! Hope things gradually improve

My sons one to one certainly has no formal qualifications, but she has built such a rapport and trust with our son that the work she has done in the last 18 months has been invaluable. We will be sorry when he goes up to preschool and loses her as his TA Although qualifications are important, I think that the relationship that they have with your child is just as important. Its my belief you can have all the qualifications in the world, but if your child can not get on with them then whats the point? This is an interesting question, and I will follow the answers. My son has full time one to one from September and we still dont know who this will be. I know that its one of the existing TAs at the school, but again not what qualifications they have. I am interested how this is looked at. As i feel its who the school are comfortable with and have worked with, rather than the best qualified

I worry about him having no friends I worry what happens if something happens if something happens to us I worry what happens when we are old I worry that he will be lonely, that he only seems to interact with us I worry that the 4 walls will become his life I worry about him getting hurt - physically, mentally and emotionally I worry that he will never find a special person to spend his life with I worry that others will never understand him Am sure there are many others, but these are the pressing ones

I loved cherry lips, chewy nuts (balls of caramel), cola bottles, refreshers chews and sherbet pips. at primary school if we were good we were allowed to have 1, 2 or 3 sherbet pips from a jar the teacher had!

cant help with the support in school, but my 4 year old son has terrible problems with his bowel movements, they go from hard to really soft and nothing that resembles a normal poo When I mentioned this last time to the paediatrician he referred us to the dietician and although she has not yet managed to improve his diet (though this would help with his poo) she asked us to stop the movicol and try something called optifibre 3 months on this has made a huge difference It is a fibre supplement, which once you get the dose right seems to bulk when loose and firm when soft. We have found that our son has really benefitted from this as have we. A normal poo is so much easier to deal with when he does have an accident Perhaps you could look at alternatives to movicol? Regards Lisa

not spoke before Paula But just wanted to say love posts like this. My little one is 4 and I suppose we are in very early days from diagnosis. But its great to see how far your son has come and it makes me realise that all you can do is support where we can, and yes I worry for his future but who knows.. Love the fact the deodarant and toothbrush comes out! thats a sure sign of attraction! lol LisaKaz

ok so now stuck on 17??

i cant get passed 11 so I have some way to go!

There were other issues too, but the letter stated I must contact them when Leo was toilet trained, as it may affect his reward

My son is 4 however his DLA was awarded because of his incontinence, which they compare against other 4 year olds. I was told regardless of his other issues once he is toilet trained they would need to look at his award again LisaKaz

Love moments like this they are such major breakthroughs! We found when my son Leo (now 4) did this the first time, it started a snowball of events and it meant more imaginative play for him, but also for us to play with him May you have many more moments like this. By the way I know that feeling of bursting with excitement when these things happen LisaKaz

thanks everyone! so many different things to consider Yes the unit do often get into mainstream and I have struck up a friendship with a parent where this has worked for her son. Her experience was that it took a long time to reintegrate and that was partially why I was thinking one foot in the door as it were Leo does not have friends as such in his peer group so would not matter where he is (at the moment) it would make no difference who the kids are they are just faces, however he does have a rapport with some teaching staff. Interestingly this is different in term time than in out of school club and he seems to cope fine with that. The different room/ building have different people and he accepts it! The autism unit is 25 miles away and he would go in a taxi, there is no out of hours or holiday provision which would make things difficult at times The mainstream school is 1 mile away, but not the main school for my home. It was chosen as has good reputation for SEN support and TAs with interest in autism and again I have met parents and children who are happy there. The holiday club is there and Leo attends this now Think I thought (maybe naively) that to do both would be the best of both worlds and he could still access the out of school club that he has gone to for over 12 months now, and loves and access the support that is additional to his mainstream place Think I need to get the SEN co-ordinator for the autism unit to come and see Leo in his preschool setting and see what she thinks and also chat to his current SEN Thanks so much for giving me more avenues of thought!! LisaKaz x

thanks Justine! Sorry was not clear he will get transport to the autism unit whenever he goes there. was trying to say that it would be less cost than going all the time Think its so hard, I know either way if he does not settle we can go the other way, but feel he needs to have some contace with the main unit Will have to see how things progress LisaKaz x

Leo is just 4 and will start primary school in September 2012 We already have a statement for him 15 hours one to one this year and then 32.5 hours from school age. However, the mainstream setting have said that they can not confirm that Leo will be able to attend mainstream till nearer the time, as it is dependant on how far he comes in the next 12 months We have visited an autism unit out of area, that certainly ticks many boxes. 6 pupils to 3 teachers per class, speech therapy very week and lifestyle and social interaction skills. However, we are unsure whether this would be suitable full time. We fell he needs some time win mainstream setting as he copies and learns activities, to try new foods etc from watching his peers. Many of the children at the autism units would be similar to him and ourselves and the setting feel a joint approach may be the best thing for him The issue is that we are generally getting the feeling that this will not be supported. Not because it is not suitable, but because of poitics and funding streams being split over 2 counties. The autism unit generally try and get children back to mainstream asap anyway, and I also feel that losing contact with his school friends for 2 years (or whatever) and then fitting back in would be hard for him. Am I unreasonable in pushing for a split? As far as I am concerned i dont care about funding etc.. The mainstream setting get one to one the time he is there and the autism unit only pay for 2 days transportation not 5! I personally can not see the problem? Do any of you do this? LisaKaz

no I did not put on any weight I did after a period of time have some blood pressure issues and changed to another pill LisaKaz

worked for me, though on another pill now (cant remember what) Also had the tranexaminic acid and found that really made things lighter too LisaKaz

Glad you had a positive appointment! It makes things easier when you know you are being taken seriously

Hi, my little boy is nearly 4 and has attended preschool for the last 12 months. He too is not toilet trained. However, we get assistance from a specialist incontinence nurse and she visits my son in his preschool setting too Leo too does not seem aware of wanting to go to the toilet and we are (and nursery are) following a program put into place by the nurse. I am happy to share this with you. She believes that Leo is not aware of the feeling of his bladder being full. So what she advised is to only give Leo drinks at breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack and tea. Encourage him to drink as much as he wants. Then about 20 mins to half an hour later put I'm on the toilet. The theory is by giving no other drinks, he will drink enough for his bladder to get full and then it's a matter of working out when to put him on the loo. We have some success with this. Though admit in the summer it has gone off the rails a little as when it's warm I tend to slip out of the routine a bit Preschool have had more success as they have the same routines everyday, so I am definitely going to follow the same routine next term Not sure if he gets the process. Baht he gets lots of praise for weeing or pooing on the toilet and hope to continue with this Still don't know if he will ask to go but it's a start if you know he needs to go at a set time after a meal Hopes this helps Lisakaz

I am in exactly this position at the moment with my 4 year old with diagnosis of autism He is 4 at the end of September and cos of the cut off he misses starting this time. We are looking at school provision. At the moment he has a statement and gets his full 15 hours one to one, and he will get 32.5 hours one to one at primary next September. However, there are big ?? as to whether he is ready The Ed psych has recommended that a general special unit not appropriate to Leo as he copies behaviours and would come home with some new bad behaviour. There is not a local autism unit, though we can apply across the county, but there is only 1 and hard to get a place. we will visit there, but Leo seems to need his peers to bring him on and worried that this will not push him enough (also dont want him forming close relationships just with adults) Keeping him back another year has been discussed, though like you we will apply for his place for now Positives: he will be a year older, but could be acting at a levelof the younger pupils by then. More confidence etc... Negatives: may still not be ready and a year older; fights with the LEA (he would nearly be 6 when starting primary, and not expected to like it); been warned could be issues with exam taking in the future, e.g may not be able to do GSCEs etc in school cos of his age I am taking each half term at a time at the moment. (cant think of GCSEs at 16 yet) Would like him to try mainstream with the full time one to one, but dont want him to struggle and things to just go on around him Am glad you posted this, as I will be following the responses closely LisaKaz

Hi just want to say I get DLA for my nearly 4 year old. He does have a diagnosis of autism and received full time one to one at preschool (and has a statement for the same at school) As others have said you have to stress the differences between your child and others the same age. Although my son has no danger awareness, regularly tries to run away, can not dress/ undress himself as other 3 year olds can, the factor that seemed to swing it is the fact that my son is not toilet trained! He regularly sees a continence nurse and we have been on a program to try and get him trained for 12 months (and his preschool follow this too), but as he still needs regular nappy changes, that seems to be what got his award We have been told that once he is toilet trained we need to contact them as he will then not be eligible under the current award. However, they will reassess and see if there are other differences hope this helps lisakaz