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Everything posted by fluffyblueberry

  1. I've been reading a bit about this therapy recently and wondered if anyone had any experience/knowledge good or bad! They don't really have clinics here but I apparently you can conduct the therapy yourself if you get one of these systems and the right info - I have no idea how much it is. Thanks!
  2. ...prt 2, a diagnosis that gaining. Considering I'm an adult now and have two children, if I'd been diagnosed as a child it would have made a dramatic impact on my life I feel, but now I'm not sure how much help it will be. I think it would be helpful for my parents/husband to learn a bit more about it though which may help them understand me better. Thank you for your response...

  3. Thanks for that! I'm still looking at the moment but actually the national autistic society sent me a really extensive email with lots of information and suggestions of people I could contact, it took about a month for them to respond but I was happy they did. Am now thinking I may not even go for a diagnosis, I'm not sure but I'm worried about a label being put on me and me l...

  4. Hi, I've had bouts of depression most of my life since childhood and the anxiety has always been there too - although, in the last couple of years the anxiety is more prevelant and the depression has taken a back seat. That said, the depression was taken away totally by st Johns Wart and I haven't had depression since my son was born, (20 months ago) I think largely because I'm still breastfeeding, which can help. But as soon as I stop, I'll be back on the st johns wart again. I think the anxiety is just part of who I am unfortunately, I can't imagine not experiencing it - but it's all internal, I still manage to function and get on with things and no one is the wiser - unless I say something. But I'm on no medication for it, so wouldn't they just class that as mild? I don't see how suffering from anxiety is a good reason to turn you down. The only reason they would know is that I have mentioned the anxiety at the doctors a couple of times - but I haven'd had therapy for it or anything. My son with ASD is only four. He is high functioning - in that, he's attending a mainstream school and expected to get on and improve, his main problem is that he has a speech delay. He's at about a two and a half year old stage - speech and language wise...but more advanced in things like, numbers/puzzles etc... But we have no idea of course, how he will be in the future. We couldn't wait that long before we adopted though, my husband is quite a bit older than me.
  5. Did you ask them "why" their policy was never? That seems crazy... every individual with AS is different. The thing *I* would be most concerned about is the common mental health issues that tend to come with AS, such as anxiety depression etc and to look at those, fair enough, I understand that - but just to say they won't consider someone on the very basis they have AS, sounds as though it comes from total ignorance of the condition. It's like, they've read the list of "traits" or possible symptoms and decided: a good parent cannot have these traits, therefore they cannot be considered. I wonder if this will change as awareness of AS grows? Plenty of people deemed "successful" have AS, plenty of fantastic parents have AS, it just seems outrageous that someone could be turned down for adoption for that reason alone. We wouldn't consider going down the adoption road yet because we have two young boys - we were thinking five, seven years down the line, (to actually have one that is...so, we'd start the process a long time before that). Maybe things will be different then. I'll certainly contact my LA and see what they say.
  6. Wow... NEVER? They actually replied never?... That's interesting. I was wondering, (before I considered I had AS)...whether having an autistic child would also prevent me from adopting? I thought maybe they'd think he would take up too much of the attention/a stressful environment for the adoptive child etc etc? But I haven't enquired about it.
  7. I think it's a real shame if there IS a problem. Of course, even with AS, there is a spectrum...and I understand that some people with AS may not make great adoptive parents, (just like people in the regular population). But I hope they judge the individual and don't just see the disability. There are so many children who need adopting...I think I'd be much more prepared to take on a child with ASD because I have experience and I do consider myself a good parent, despite any struggles I may have. I don't think they should put up too many barriers to stop people adopting just because they don't fit some idealistic stereotype - I hope it's not like that - even parents who appear "perfect" may not be that way at all. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I just hope they'll be able to see my strengths.
  8. Hi! That is good to know. Thank you!! Natalie
  9. Hi, I have no idea about the answers to these questions - but I feel there is a prejudice there about AS. I have two children, one who is one the spectrum. As a family, we have long discussed the possibility that one day, we would like to adopt a child. Maybe one with additional needs also. I have also considered registering as a childminder recently because there is no childcare currently available in my area, (apparently) and I feel many childminders have a problem taking on an autistic child, if they have no experience, (although my child is a passive non-aggressive sort). Also, I'm looking to go into social work and childminding, especially things like respite care, which I'm interested in too, will provide me with relevant experience. I have recently considered seeking diagnosis for AS, because I want to share my experiences and help other women. I feel a diagnosis in childhood would have saved me a lot of soul searching and suffering - I would have made quite different choices. My concern is, if I get a diagnosis of AS: -would this in any way impact on me being able to adopt in future? - would it impact on me getting registered as a childminder? In the second case, they require the doctor to say whether you are "fit" for the job, you have to disclose any mental health issues etc - for example, I do suffer quite high anxiety and have bouts of depression. That said, I am not on medication for the anxiety and I haven't been on antidepressants for five years - these things are crippling to the point that I can't be a mother, (I have two children) or that I can't look after another child perfectly well. A lot of my anxiety is internal, I don't verbalise and often will appear to be totally ok. Anyway, if anyone has any idea about this - I'd appreciate help!
  10. I had to have grommets put in my ear...which I don't think they do so much these days.
  11. I just read this and wondered how others related: http://www.pathfindersforautism.org/articleItem.aspx?id=26 It's not specifically female, but I related still do a lot of it. I think many of my "traits" became more obvious in adolesence however, that seems more common for girls. Then it was quite a downward spiral because I found everything so confusing and had such low self-esteem. I also had lots of ear infections in childhood, (it mentions many AS children have many ear infections in childhood). I wondered if that was the case for other women here?
  12. yes, awareness seems to be growing so hopefully women will start finding it easier to be diagnosed now. I just read this article about asperger's and I found it so accurate, even though it wasn't specifically female. It was about traits as children - through childhood. Very interesting - but I can't find it. Will probably post here when I have.
  13. Hi, yes I did email them - but they said they couldn't give me a name. However, they thought my GP would know the relevant teams to refer me to. I find the idea of going to the GP very daunting. I haven't long lived here and don't have a GP that is really "mine" here, I have always seen a different one each time and haven't found one yet I feel ready to confide in. If I get knocked back, it will really effect me I think.
  14. I definitely do, yes! He knows how I feel, so I actually say to him now: "no, I need to do this alone!" and he totally understands. I just have to throw myself in the deep end at times, otherwise it'd be too easy to hide.
  15. Beth I relate to that - I couldn't do presentations either. I hated to read out loud. I also couldn't really stand tutorial groups. but at least they were quite small. I really wish I'd known about this sooner too because I think I would have made many different decisions and I wouldn't have been so hard on myself. I agree that we shouldn't just look at the negative though, that's important.
  16. Yes, depression and anxiety often go together with AS, unforunately. They have been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. I also relate to playing the comedian - I tend to do this quite often. However, my husband is always the comedian in a group and he's much more confident at it than I am...so, often when we're socialising together it's one less thing I can fall back on! But he is very easy to hide behind because he's so confident socially. I suppose I've learnt a lot from him - but I haven't got better at being social, I've just got better at pretending for longer. I can probably appear quite confident socially for short bursts, but then I usually have to escape for a while and have a break.
  17. oh, also... did the psychiatrist have any experience with ASD that you saw? How did you get them to then refer you on?
  18. Hi, I saw a psychologist years ago but that was down south and I wouldn't want to go back to her. So, I'd have to get referred from the doctor or go privately? But then once you go private, isn't there some issue with switching to nhs?
  19. Hi, I've found a place that diagnoses adults with AS on the NHS and it's not too far away - but they only see you on referral from either a consultant psychologist or psychiatrist. But how do I find one that has knowledge of adults with ASD? I've looked on NAS and can't find anything there. I'd rather not go to my GP until I have a definite name of someone I want to be referred to. Can anyone help? Thanks.
  20. Just wanted to add to the last post - other problems I have which I presume are AS related are OCD type rituals and behaviour, I've had these from a young toddler. Huge levels of anxiety, which I've had since childhood. The "slow to comprehend" problem: when someone asks me a question, sometimes it takes me a while to process, this is more true if I am concentrating on anything else at all, then someone will normally have to call my name several times to get my attention. Normally, I just hear sort of muffled background noise but it doesn't register that someone is trying to talk to me. I do find it hard when I'm having an argument and someone doesn't agree with my point of you. I believe I'm right 99% of the time. If someone accuses me of lying and I know I haven't, this makes me incredibly angry - being accused of something I haven't done just makes me flip my lid more than anything else. I've suffered from bouts of depression since childhood and it's still a struggle. I struggle with motivation. Every day stuff is a real trial. I find it really hard to pull myself out of the house, I have to do it, but if it wasn't for my husband or my children, I'm sure I would stay in most days by myself and be happy in my own little world. Obsessions!!! There's another one. Well, they come and go but I get totally consumed by them and when I'm in the grasp of an obsession, I think of little else. They come and go and they're always on fairly normal things. If I don't have an obsession, I get really low, I need it to sort my mind out! Thoughts.... my thoughts are often all over the place, my head feels packed with them and they go off in all different directions. I think an obsession just brings them in line more, brings order to the chaos! There are lots of other little things as well that I recently wondered could be part of AS - but I might start a post on it. Lots more to say really, but it felt good to get a bit out.
  21. Just to say, I completely agree about Rudy's book being the best place to start. I have read "pretending to be normal" too, but didn't relate nearly as much. Especially since, she actually seemed to have quite a reasonable social life for the most part and have a close support network, people who understood her quirks etc... Yes, I did have a couple of close friends, (and lots of others who were not close) as a small child. But as soon as I reached 11, it all changed. I left the school I'd been in since I was 3, everything was new, I knew no one and I was quite surprised to realise that I was "weird" - I didn't fit in and I was bullied. From there I went on to three more secondary schools, trying to escape the bullying and the isolation. In each school, I did find a couple of friends. They were always outcasts themselves. But I didn't get the hang of forming close friendships. I was very socially confused, I found it hard to keep track of what people were saying in a conversation - would get easily distracted, (still do). I couldn't call people, I hated using the phone, which made maintaining friendships a problem, (still have that). I found it hard to make decisions, even simple ones, (still do). I could get very aggressive in an argument, (I now cry instead, it was a conscious choice to change my behaviour). I didn't like just "hanging out" with a friend or doing girly things like shopping - I wanted to meet for a reason and for a certain amount of time only....I liked to know the plan, I couldn't just meet someone for the sake of it. Also, even now, meeting up with a friend once a week or something is enough for me. If I have too many social things together, I totally freak out, I break down, it bothers me for days and afterwards I'm exhausted for days. I very much relate to the equal feeling of being male and female. It wouldn't matter to me what sex my partner is. I do like to dress up sometimes, but it's more the feeling of becoming someone else. I can't wear heels for more than a couple of hours or something, I take spare flats. Clothes are an issue - fabric etc. I'm not yet diagnosed but all my life, I've been called things like: "over-sensitive," "dramatic, " "drama queen" "quirky" "crazy" "self-absorbed," etc... From a young teen - I developed drug and alcohol addictions for about 10 years. Then I got pregnant and I stopped everything. It changed my life. But suddenly all my problems became more obvious because there was nothing to cover them up anymore. The drugs helped me feel like I didn't have a social problem - but I had to be high to engage with people! I could go on forever! But I must eat now! lol
  22. No problem, I found the table incredibly accurate from my own perspective. Obviously all AS women are different, but as far as my own condition goes, it was spot on. It's so difficult to find an accurate description of FEMALE AS on the internet - or anywhere else - but I hope that awareness is growing. Rudy's book: ASPERGIRLS - I also related to very strongly. Being (still) undiagnosed - it was a real mind boggler to read. It was almost like reading about my own life. Quite spooky!
  23. Yeh, I agree with bloodheart really. I took the AQ test long before it was on facebook and also sent it to a couple of friends, my husband and my parents - at the time I tested, I was surprised how high it was an wanted to see if other people got a "normal" rating...well, a majority did. I think it's an interesting test for people to take, to learn a little bit about themselves. No, it's not a diagnosis, but it's often one of the first steps in seeking one. My son is autistic, I'm seeking diagnosis for myself. I don't really find the test offensive, the part that describes the score doesn't say anything negative about ASD and - more importantly - this test does actually spread awareness and possibly helps people, who think they might be on the spectrum, to eventually go out and seek diagnosis. If I hadn't have taken that first AQ test, I may not have gone on to read about Asperger's and realise that I was on the spectrum. Lots of people go undiagnosed for years and years and have really suffered as a result, (I'm one of them!). By lots of people posting the test, more people will see it, some people who actually have AS/ASD and have no idea - this may be the first step in them finding out. The downside is some of the comments people might make in relation to the test - but, frankly, if I saw anyone making a negative comment about ASD on my facebook page, they would cease to be my friend in two seconds flat and that problem would be gone!
  24. I'm literally about to start the process. I am planing to go to the doctor but I'm pretty terrified...I suppose I'm afraid they'll just tell me I'm being ridiculous. Although, I know I have enough evidence that it would be pretty unlikely they'd say that. I'm 28. My son was diagnosed with Autism last year, so I suppose they should take me seriously on that basis alone. But it all fits into place. I'm really interested in other women who are being diagnosed, so I hope to hear more about it! I'm hoping I won't have to take an IQ test...I took the mensa test when I was 17 and have a certificate, so hopefully they'll take that and I was going to take AQ and EQ test results with me as well. I was also going to take a print out of triad of impairments and examples of how I relate in general and why I think I have AS. I also was also going to print out the table of "female traits of women with Asperger's" which is on rudy simone's site help4aspergers.com because I relate to 90% of them. I suppose I plan to go loaded with as much information as possible to back me up!! Good luck!
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