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We have been trying for 3 months for 14 year old to go back to school but no luck. He has completely gone off the idea of school. Any suggestions welcome? Does anyone know of any aspergers school for able children or do you feel home education would be best. He has asked me to look at independent schools but he has refused specialist school as he has not accepted his diagnosis. In my opinion he would not survive any school other than specialist provision but is adamant that he would not attend this.

My son did a term at a private school when he was in year 7 but stopped going after a term. Obtained a statement of special educational needs with 14 hours specialised teacher support and 15 hours LSA support. Transition to a mainstream school was made at the end of year 8. The first 2 terms in school went very well but as soon as the transition to GCSE options after the half term during summer term was made, he started regressing and withdrawing. There was a controlled assessment in English done last term which he found very difficult (the book which is now torn). During the summer holidays he was still withdrawn but managed to go out to buy uniform, went to school the first day of term in September and then stopped altogether afterwards. He keeps blaming his situation due to what happened in the past and is unable to move forwards. He is refusing to attend any schools (reasons unknown to us). He feels he can do better by being tutored at home and that he is unable to get the education at school. I need advice and guidance if anyone has experience in how they moved things forward. My son has a diagnosis of high functioning autism which he is in denial and not accepting it. My son is refusing to engage with all the professionals medically and schoolwise. He is happy to talk to people/engage with other people.

Thanks Carol for your reply. I took my son to a paediatrician when he was 5 and a half but was not diagnosed then, although I knew from Year 1 that he had difficulties. The school I believe were aware of the problems but they never mentioned anything to me. I had my son diagnosed with high functioning autism when he was in year 6. He was already showing signs of distress at school and currently has stopped going to school. It is surprising to all of us that our LEA have refused to assess my son even though he does not attend school and engages in education. Our tribunal for assessment is soon and am a bit anxious about the questions asked by the tribunal, although I am confident that we have a good case.

We are going to tribunal soon for assessment. The local authority does not have any representative apart from the caseworker. Is this quite common? I have a solicitor representing me. I am surprised we are going to the tribunal stage as I would have thought the LEA would have withdrawn as they do not have any further evidence. We have submitted a lot of evidence including a private ed psych report which details all my son's needs and his difficulties. Any comments welcome.

Dear Emmasmum What is joint hypermobility? How do you get this diagnosed. My son is constantly complaining of his muscles aching, tiredness etc. He cannot go out for more than an hour. We had his bloods checked. Everthing was ok apart from Vit D which I have been told is common in our borough. How did you manage to get so many documents even though your child was diagnosed late. It is very good news that you won the tribunal was that for the assessment. Sorry to ask again. I will try to look at your other threads. My solicitors I believe will be coming to the tribunal, but I am hoping that the LEA would look at the documents and agree to assess. My son is not engaging with everyone, therefore I believe the excuse they will come up with is how can they assess if he is not engaging. My son did engage with the private ed psych with incentives but refuses to do the SALT assesssment even with incentives.

Just to add to my previous thread. My son was also late diagnosed at the age of 10. He survived the primary school mostly due to my persistence and meeting with teachers regularly.

My tribunal for assessment is coming up in December. How should one prepare for it. our solicitors have sent 20 documents in total. The LEA have responded to say that they do not have anything for submission. Could you please advise me. Also if you are able to let me know whether there were any awkward questions asked or not. My son has High functioning autism/Aspergers. He is 12 and stopped going to school since March this year. Are there different rules for assessing and statementing timescales for school refusers.

My son failed miserably in a small private high school as you will see from my main post. I had to initiate the statement as he is now refusing school. The schools have categorically said that he was fine and that the problem is at home. The school is going to be proved wrong now as they have not replied to the questions asked about ASD training for staff in school and we are going to tribunal for assessment. We are at a very early stage, but I would say persevere.

My neighbour's daughter is a SALT and does reports for tribunals. She works in specialist autism school and takes on private referrals. She is in London, if interested send me your email and I can forward the details to you. I do not know how to send private messages through this site. I have not used her personally but am trying to convince my son to have an assessment done through her so I cannot give any recommendations at the moment. Her charges I believe for the initial assessment is around £100 or so, not too sure though. For the report I do not know the charges.

The private educational psychologist that we appointed had a teaching qualification, head of special needs, worked for an autism unit, had psychology degree, awareness/training in autism, masters in educational psychology.

My son who is 12 years old now will not buy into social stories and finds them patronising. He was diagnosed when he was 10. We just had a private ed psy done and he scored well above average in Maths and English and congnitive ability. What he finds useful is us (ie parents) talking to him when he wants to talk and that is normally at 10 p.m. at night when after having woken up early sorted the other children out, having a busy day is not appropriate. My husband still makes time but the exhaustion does catch up on us. My son has now started opening up about his experiences which previously he was unable to talk about. He has got a whole lot of baggage with him of various issues which he is holding on to and not able to let go of it, the result of this he is at home since March refusing to engage with learning or go to school. I have posted this separately. My son also does not believe in being brainwashed and would retaliate and say why is everyone trying to change him. He is what he is and that other people are the problem. We have a fair understanding of him and as parents we are very tolerant and respect his views. But in the wide open world he would be classed as highly opiniated (excuse the spelling) and getting his own way. When he does come up with an idea, it is very valid and true and a neurotypical person would not be able to think like that and perhaps argue the point. This often leads my son into problems in school with group work.

To JSmum I have now called Youngminds and am now in the process of ordering the book - school refusal. I was just wondering on what grounds were you able to get a statement and the specialist school for your son. My son is still not ready for any therapies. Like you all said this is all going to take a long time.

Thanks for your replies. I am hoping one day we will get into a routine. I just want the ed psych report done first (privately) which is happening in October. I do want to set up a routine but with everything else happening I have found it extremely challenging. Will update once I have more news. I had a social worker coming yesterday, first she said my son will not qualify for a statement then she ended the meeting my saying he should.

The tribunal is refusal to assess. You are quite right in pointing me in the right direction. I haven't got SALT after the diagnosis. I have got one that was done before on my insistence. My son was diagnosed aged 10. The SALT reports that Nirav's undertstanding of the language is good, he needs time in processing the information, he finds it difficult to work in noisy environments etc. but this assessment was not carried out after the diagnosis. On the whole it does not say anything negative. We need a recent SALT but my son is saying that there is nothing wrong with his speech and will be difficult for us to get him assessed. He keeps on saying that there are no schools out there for him - bad teachers, bad students, wrong equipment, lessons not challenging etc. My son was at a state primary school and he often refused school then due to bullying. I put him in a small private school for Year 7 in September and he lasted only a term and half. The school did not support my son and I have since withdrawn him from that school. He is on a school roll in a mainstream. It is not a suitable school and he will not be going there, therefore the tribunal. The EP should happen in October and that is what I am waiting for. The primary school refused an EP on my request. I would not be in this position if the schools were supportive. My son is generally a happy lovable child but when he has a meltdown I am sure you all know what it likes. He has only few meltdowns now due to boredom. His anxieties to do with private school started beginning of January. I had a meeting with the school and they assured me everything was fine. It was far from fine, he used to get detentions for not submitting homework, missed equipment, being part of another group who were misbehaving and he just happened to be there. I have read some of your threads and would be interested to know how to get my son motivated to start learning even if it is at home whilst I am dealing with the tribunal.

I have seen lots of info on how people have managed to get their children back into school. My son is 12 years old with high functioning autism. My son is currently refusing to engage with anyone to do with schools and also refusing home tutoring. He feels exhausted and tired most of the times and complains of lack of sleep. He does not do much or go out. He has been out of school since March this year. I have following people involved, EWO, home tuition, CAMHS, parent partnership, GP. I am having a common assessment framework prepared. I have also asked for a social worker. Tribunal is due in December. See if we can get an ed psych report done. My son has done a statement detailing his difficulties at school. I am trying to encourage him to come to Tribunal. The schools have said that he is absolutely fine and does not require an assessment and that we are the problem. I have two other boys who do not have problems attending school. Any info will be appreciated. How can I get my son learning again. He is bright but says no one can teach him. He does not wish to do on-line learning as well.