MBF

I found this http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/+/www.direct.gov.uk/en/disabledpeople/healthandsupport/yourrightsinhealth/dg_10016888 I think that it is called the Mental Capacity Act maybe? You have to prove that someone lacks capacity and as such everyone is treated as if they have capacity. I hope this helps as there are lots of links on this page. Mx

hi Smiley1590, This is just an observation really. You appear to be able to express yourself adequately through writing, have you explored the idea of writing down the things that you know the doctor needs to know? I was once treated for clinical depression and I too suffered suicidal impulses, it is hard to explain to another person those feelings. When I tried to refuse medication my Doctor asked me if I was asthmatic would I turn down treatment for my Asthma, I said that wouldn't and she then made me realise that it's not a weakness to need medication. However, it is a weakness not to rely on medication when it is really needed. I know your post is a week or so old and hope you have seen your doctor and are feeling a little better. Take care M

I wish I lived nearer so I could come. Hope it goes well I have been thinking of starting one in my own area. Please PM me if you fancy supporting me from afar. I'm finding things a bit of a struggle at times and would welcome some advice from someone who has been there. Thanks M

Well DH and I went to see the GP to request a DX this morning. Hubby was very organised and printed out the information off the Autistic Society website last night and we went through it. However, he told me that the appointment was at 9.15 but when we got there we were late because it was actually at 9.10. So we were called into the see the GP and I think we got the only undiagnosed AS GP in our practice (he said at one point he has family members who are AS) he asked my hubby what was wrong so he told him he was here to request a DX for AS. The GP was so rude and asked why he thought that he has AS, and what good a diagnosis would do for him as there are no services out there for AS adults. Hubby told him his dreams of getting into teaching and the GP basically told him that if he told them at interview panel he would be discriminated against if he had dyslexia he would understand it but AS what would support would they be able to offer him? I told the GP without a DX we didn't have any armour to fight should he face discrimination in getting a job, however, the GP told me that I live in a utopia if I think that employers will abide by the DDA 2005. The GP implied that I was being pushy and at one point turned to my hubby and said that he was acting as his advocate.... why would he want to go and get himself labelled? as I was the only other person in the room i'm assuming that he thought that he needed... or arrogantly that he knows by hubby's wishes and feelings better than me!!!! SO he was advocating against me!! I'm heart broken... I feel so upset. The implications were that I was pushing my hubby to get the DX. When the one thing I have been very careful not to do is push him, it's his life after all. The GP told my Hubby that he would be making it harder to get on a training course to become a teacher if he had a DX and that teachers were being made redundant due to all the cut backs. Thankfully at this point my hubby got all AS on his ###### and challenged his opinion by asking what the GP was basing his information on!! Both Hubby and I had to tell the GP that he was rude. I had to ask the GP if Hubby should give up on his dream to teach then because as he will need support when in employment as he has organisational difficulties sometimes, then I took great pleasure in informing him that some people with AS make great teachers because they are very meticulous in how they give instructions. ( My hubby has taught adults in previous careers). However, because my Hubby has had jobs the GP took this to mean that he can function in society so what's the big deal. However, he doesn't know that he was very often overlooked for promotions and even sacked from one job. The GP turned to my Hubby and said...'you look alright to me'. The GP was seemed more interested in discussing Hubby's degree in History/geography. I think that money has a large part to play in this interaction with the GP as he mentioned that because of the cuts they cannot get people operated on. The GP said that he "would look into it". He will call my Hubby when he has. Has anyone else faced this battle and come away feeling like this? Hubby is oblivious to it and says I shouldn't take it personally, typical Hubby response to my emotions. A very exhausted M

Oh my i'm not the only one who has this much bad luck with cars. This happens to me all the time too so much so I feel like a bit of an expert when it comes to cars now. lol. I hope your Mum has managed to sort out some form of transport now. I have a saying about Luck/life it never stays the same it's a bit like scales sometimes your luck is in, other times it's seems to be bad luck all the way. It never stays like that though I have found. It can sure feel like that when the bad luck is in though. Hope things are brighter now. Regards, M x

Hi Yorkshire T, I'm at the GP tomorrow with my hubby to seek diagnosis and it is my knowledge that you need to see a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist and you get this referral though your GP. If you go to your GP and ask for a referral to either of these he has to refer you ( good old labour government). Anyway check out this website as this may help. http://www.autism.org.uk/About-autism/All-about-diagnosis/Diagnosis-the-process-for-adults.aspx However, depending on which area in York's you live in, you may get to see either of these professionals through the mental health team, they may have a specialist worker for adults with AS however, a diagnosis will only come from the Clinical Psychologist or Psychiatrist. (be aware that this could be a lack of knowledge on your GP's part regarding AS though and that's why he's referred you to the mental health service). It sounds though that as you are suffering from anxieties that may benefit from the treatment offered through the services of the Community mental health team. Good luck I hope it all goes well for you. Please keep us informed. Regards, M x

Dear Sally, As far as I'm aware SAT's have never been to test the abilities of the child but to check that the teachers have taught the children the national curriculum and to give the government a nice table of who's doing well or not. Also children who are severely affected by dyslexia have scribes and readers so why shouldn't your child. However, these cost money which the school will have access to if your child has a Statement of Special Education Needs. If though your child has a comprehensive SEN then the SAT's results would not be needed as his new school would have a clear idea of your child's abilities though the SEN. I don't know if this information helps as you may want your child to be included in the SAT's tests so that he isn't treated differently to any of his peers. M x

I realised about the AS because my Hubby and I were having difficulties in our marriage. After I had the worse day ever he didn't even give me a hug and when I mentioned this to a mate she mentioned AS and I looked it up on the internet. It all fit and was a real revelation. I then bought Maxine Ashton's Aspergers in Love, read it and passed it to hubby. He said it made sense and could see himself in it (he hasn't finished reading it though). He has surprised me how he has accepted it really. Hope he does mention the possibility of AS to his GP as it may help for him to understand himself. My daughter did OK at High School however, I can see a level of vulnerability but she had her older brother with her all the way through school so she was quite protected by him. He has now gone off to uni and she has just completed her first year at college and practically failed all her first year modules. This I have discovered is typical behaviour for people with AS, hubby failed all his A levels back in the day too. My daughter had really bad glue ear for the first 5 years of school and I think that this helped her to tune out all the back ground noise and helped her to concentrate. I also think that the glue ear has acted as a mask for the AS. She was victim to some very nasty rumours and was bullied now and again though. It must be a nightmare for you with the her being excluded over something which isn't her fault and I hope the CBT helps her to thrive. Do you have a good specialist school in your area that you have in mind. My DD doesn't have very severe melt downs and like her father will withdraw and spend two days in bed rather than get upset. I do think that I am very lucky because they appear to both be mildly affected by AS. Being off work sick is helping me work out new strategies as DD does think that I criticise her all the time. We usually fall out because I ask her to carry out a job and she will not do it. However, I realised that if I word it like. 'would you please move your bag from the living room floor' the 'would' bit gives her a choice. She doesn't want to move it. So I've started to say 'please move your bag from the living room floor' I am also trying to give her time scale too. If she is doing something like reading, which she devours books at an astonishing rate, I will give her till the end of the page. I am so pleased to report that this is working!! I got her to do two jobs last night!! This is a massive achievement for us both. I found another great resource yesterday which helped when discussing a topic with my DH which required him to think outside of the box called social stories. I hope to use this with DH soon lol. Have you heard about social stories? http://www.autismnetwork.org/modules/social/sstory/index.html It's great to have someone to talk to Beverley. Thank you. May I PM you to compare other notes on DH's sometime? M x

I believe that a raw food diet is one of the healthiest ways to eat. However, I have no experience of this. As a newbie I have bought The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood as he is considered an expert in academic circles. I needed help with my hubby and daughter who I'm waiting to find out if they are AS but according to the books I've read they are. Hope you find some answers to your questions. M x

Thanks for sharing that sounds just like our house, however, my hubby couldn't cope with her when she was small and she appeared to have a big attitude. I spoke to my Doctor yesterday as I have been quite ill recently and think that this has been due to the stress of living through the last year. The doctor said something very funny when I tried to say that it's hard living with two people who have Aspergers he asked if the set each other off like Ferbies. That really cracked me up because that is just what it is like. Although it is me that my daughter shouts at, now she is 17 doesn't have that many episodes any more, hubby says that I am worse because I shout back. I am now starting to realise that her tone of voice is not attitude it is because she is tired, hungry or more likely AS. I am still in the process of trying to work all this out and although I have noticed AS in my Hubby first I am now reflecting on the last 17 years of my daughters life. My hubby is very sociable and we are lucky that we live in a small village so he knows everyone, he can be rather inappropriate with his social interactions though and because he doesn't see social cues will bore the pants of people. Is is wrong that I find this amusing, maybe that's why I have been with him for so many years. I love some of his traits which could be AS. Since my hubby has known about AS he appears to be less stressed and because I have changed my approach on how I talk to him, rephrasing things so that I am direct and ask him ( I tried this on my daughter last night and for the first time in years she did a chore without the arguing) he seems to come across as less criticised. Although he will withdraw when stressed and not react so is very consistent with his mood. As he appears to be Alexithmic and this is why I think he shuts down. Do you get out often on your own or with friends? Do you think that if he knew it was AS and not him why he feels that way about socialising that this might help his self esteem. I can honestly say that this has helped my hubby even to the point that he now wants to get a diagnosis. I have spent the last week filling my diary with dates to see all my friends as I know that my hubby hates going out of our village and I no longer feel guilty for leaving him at home. I actually talk a lot in real life too!!!!

Hi Matzoball, I've only just joined this site so don't really know the struggles you have had, but I have watched my DH be rejected time and time again so I know what an achievement you have made. Congratulations and well done. M X

Hi SuzieQ My thoughts are with you at this stressful time. Know that you are not alone, we are all here for you. Take care. M x

Hello everyone. I'm pleased to be here and am hoping to find some help from other wives of AS men. DH is going to GP this week to start the diagnosis process. We have been married for 20 years and AS explains so many of the difficulties we have had over the last 20 years. We have three children and I think one is possibly AS too. It's been a struggle at times but most of the time it's been a pleasure to live with him (ok today is a good day some days it would be easier to bang my head against the wall than try to talk about important issues with him!). I suspect that there is a family history of AS in his family and my nephew is also going through the diagnosis process too. Thanks for listening. MBF.