flappyfish

I'm afraid my 11 year old son 'leaks' too. he nearly always smells a bit at the end of the day and is sometimes more wet than that. I think it's down to organisational difficulties like leaving it to the last minute, not noticing the need because of focussing on other things. I was advised by CAMHS to go to GP but he just vaguely talked about star charts and eneuresis clinics, and I'm afraid I can't face another set of appointments so just do lots of washing and wait for him to grow out of it!!

Our eldest was into computers in a big way (and all things technical). We arranged for him to do work experience with the local council's IT department who also offer apprenticeships. He did really well in his two weeks in year 10. Then when he applied for an apprenticeship after his GCSE's, they remembered him. This was great as he didn't interview particularly well, but he got a place and now has a full time job with them.

Don't know if this is national or just where I live, but it is possible to apply for 'individual pupil funding' (IPF) which is awarded at a range of rates depending on need. Ity's quite a process applying involving a lot of paperwork on the school's part and it goes to a panel, a bit like the statement, and it has to be renewed annually. It's not as time consuming or ecpensive as statementing though, and I think there was a national initiative to reduce the number of statements given, so it may well be that your authority does something similar. It would be worth asking your school's SENCO.

I am a Key stage 1 teacher and know from experience that it's not unusual for reception children to seem fine as the EYFS curriculum is very child led and free. In Y1, difficulties tend to begin to become more apparent, and you may find that this is what will happen with your little boy. It is still worth you meeting up with the SENCO (and by the way, most primary SENCOs are also full time teachers) and having the school note that your child has a diagnosis. I would give copies of his diagnosis and the speech and language report in to the head teacher with a letter explaining what you have been advised and asking for a meeting with the SENCO and the class teacher. It may well be that at this stage, he needs only 'a watchful eye' but at least he is on the radar then and you can explain what you have nbeen told by the hospital and the speech and language therapist. If they won't do this, which would be surprising, then I would write to the head teacher and ask politely again but saying that if you get no further, then you will contact the chair of the governing body. Hopefully it won't get that far. It shouldn't be necessary to move him, and it may well be that he is able to cope at the moment. Mine managed all the way to the juniors before there were any significant concerns. On the bright side, if he has made a good start to school, then hurrah! Enjoy the moment!

How frustrating! Obviously I can't say if you are 'a fussy parent' or if there is anything amiss with your son, but I do know that the subtle difficulties are very hard to tackle. My very bright and able son was in a very emotionally literate and supportive primary, but his difficulties were very subtle and he never underachieved enough to hit the data radars. It wasn't until he had some sort of severe depression in year 5 that people started to do anything very concrete and he never had dedicated support (although currently 5% of a school's budget is for SEN provision, so he did get some help).Via CAMHS and various serendipitous contacts, he was diagnosed as ASD during the summer break before High School. Mercifully, the SENCO there was very proactive and applied for funding before he went. He is now very well supported althugh struggling hugely with all the 'little' things that your son experiences. I recognise every one of them in my son, and I think you are right to follow it up. These things aren't problems if they are not a problem, but if they are creating anxiety and upset, then they are. I think all parents go through the 'what if I overstated it?' angst (I even asked the Psychiatrist what he would have said about my son if we had been dead and they hadn't spoken to school!). When things are good, which they are some of the time, you can begin to think you've imagined it, and when they are bad, you know you didn't!! I hope you get somewhere.

I don't know what form the assessment will take for your son, but both times my boys were assessed using the ADOS/ASDAS schedule and we were given a detailed questionnaire to fill in beforehand. The feedback we got was incredibly detailed and helpful. With both of my boys, if you met them as a one off you wouldn't know they had any sort of condition, so they are both fairly subtle, although the ASD causes much angst especially regarding school, so we were very anxious that nothing would be picked up and that they would just seem 'normal'. The eldest came out as having Aspergers, the youngest with a 'broadly defined ASD' plus other complications. In both cases, though, it wasn't so much the label as thedetails of what was the issue and how that manifested itself that was useful. These people are experts in diagnosis and although some people have bad experiences of diagnostic services, ours (once we have managed to get there!!) has been very good. I hope you have the same experience.

I too am fluent in Hebrew. It is very frustrating and I just wanted to send a bit of empathy. In a dark place, I always look out for a bit of light (whatever form that takes for you) and head there, otherwise, I get sucked into his dark place and we are both low. Not good. Hope things improve for you all soon.

Your son sounds very similar to mine. It sounds as though he is still in primary, in which case you need to be very careful over transition to secondary because all the things you have described happened for mine, and he has found high school very difficult despite being well supported. We had a multi agency meeting last week and I would advise you to make a contribution to it in advance. I made a grid outlining what I thought his needs were (I kept it brief) with regards to emotional, social, sensory, learning needs. I made it very clear that I wasn't suggesting that they weren't doing anything and that I wasn't telling them what to do. I said that I didn't want to come out of the meeting and think 'I wish I'd mentioned...'. I e-mailed it in the week before, and the SENCO copied it to everyone involved and it formed the basis of much of our discussion. I was glad I'd done it, as it is hard to say things in a meeting with lots of people withot getting upset or stressed, and this meant I said everything I wanted very calmly. Hope that's useful to you.

My 11 year old ASD can act very brattish too and it's hard to be understanding and look for the underlying cause, empathise and yet not accept the unacceptable, so you have my sympathies. My older Aspergers lad did master getting the bus. We did it in small steps. Both on the bus > Both on the bus but him boarding before me and sitting at the back while he sat at the front > Him getting the bus and then going to a shop nearby and waiting until I came on the next bus > him getting the bus alone and phoning me to say he'd arrived etc. etc. Maybe if you explain that you need to be sure he's safe but you want him to be able to master the bus, your son will agree to do steps too?

Hope you get somewhere with the CAMHS psych. We got diagnosis through CAMHS inderectly in the end after much, much faffing about. I share your frustration with the tunnel, but try to focus on the light! Remember, although diagnosis helps, it's wht's going on in the here and now that you need to be dealing with. I know it's hard, but try not to let your child's autism define you.

Hello and welcome. Sorry to hear you have hit so many dead ends. It needn't be like that. It's great that you are in a supportive school. I am a primary school teacher, and there are a number of things you and they together might do (although you may have already). Obviously I don't know your child and how he is functioning in school (is he on school action or school action plus for example, does he get support?), and in a way, you are in a stronger position to get help if he isn't functioning well, but still... You could ask the school to get either an educational psychologist, a member of your Local Authority's autism support team (if you have one - not all do) or the school doctor to see your child. You could request that you get a chance to speak to one of these to express your concerns. You could also approach your child's GP and express your concerns and ask if you can be referred to a diagnostician. As I said, I don't know your child's details, but if you were to give me some specifics on what his particular needs are, I might be able to give sou some key phrases to use when expressing your concerns. Hope this is useful.

No real advice but lots of sympathy. My son loses everthing and my only solution is to buy very cheap things in the knowledge that they will inevitably get lost!

I would think that consistency is key. I think two is the magic number. If you have just one and they are ill or leave, then there are inevitable consequences. If you have two, there is consistency and also the LSAs can compare notes, put their heads together and come up with effective strategies that one alone may not have come up with. 11 seems too many to be in any way consistent. I would take the 'velvet bulldozer approach' and ask 'innocently' if 11 LSAs is the right amount, giving reasons why you think less would be better. I always drop in lots of phrases about being very grateful for all they are doing (which I genuinely am, but I think it needs saying), that it's wonderful that he has support, that I'm not trying to tell them what to do, but wanting things to go well for my child and his peers/teachers. I also say things like 'of course, I may have got this compleyely wrong'as I know that I don't always get the most accurate information from my son. But I would be firm about querying the thinking behind 11 LSAs. Doesn't sound helpful to me.

Hello. I too have an 11 year old with ASD and am a teacher. I have never taught a child like mine either, althoughb I have taught children with ASDs, and I have been mortified by some of his behaviour in school. High school has been a nightmare to date, and he is barely coping, althought the school are being fantastic. As to using what you know as a teacher to help your child, I say go for it. In the light of what I know as a parent, I am far more proactive for the children I teach, and it's what you would want from any teacher of your child. Lawyers use what they know of the law etc. I do however feel strongly that we should stand up for those who don't have the parents who can do this for them. I do hope you mmake progress with your son. It certainly makes for an interesting life, but I'd settle for dull right now! Happy New Year!

There is a company which advertises in the NAtional Autistic society 'Communication' magazine. I expect if you rang their helpline they would ber able to tell you.

A provision map is a document that outlines what support your child will get, who will do it, when, for how long and how much it costs.It is different from the IEP in that it doesnt have the targets, success criteria etc. on. In our school we use both but it will depend on the policy of your local authority. At the moment IEPs are part of the agreed process and they are what we share with parents. Provision maps are useful (as well as helping the school know what personnel and costs are involved)in tracking pupil progress and as evidence when applying for individual funding or statements. Hope that's helpful.

You need to meet with the SENCO of the school you think your son might go to and ask them what they can offer. I did this and the SENCO put in a bid for individual pupil funding (he's had no support at primary but problems were mounting). This was awarded at quite a high rate as a result of her reccomandations and thank goodness as the transition has been far more of an issue than we expected. There is a move away from statementing, but individual funding is available (I think it's national and not just our authority. I would advise you to push as transition really is a big deal.

Hi Beth I have just done the same with my 11 year old. It's not the easiest thing to do, but it helped him in that he has been very unhappy and frustrated and it enabled us to help him understand why. That said, it's not been plain sailing since, so diagnosis is not a magic cure. We used a book called 'I am special' (dreadful title!) that I bought off Amazon which helped me explain it to him. Hope you get on OK.

Whoops! That's 3 X 2 hour sessions, not 32 hours worth - now that would be thorough!!

We gor a neuropsyhchological assessment through specialist CAMHS after it became clear that CBT wasn't shifting the frustration causing my son's mental distress. She felt there were problems with his processing but because he was very intelligent, he had some ineffective) coping strategies that masked things. He went fro 3 2 hour sessions and the results were illuminating, and in fact the spiky pattern of his abilities/difficulties led to him being referred on for ASD diagnosis. I have to say, though, I know very few people who have had the privilege of this level of testing so I don't know what makes you eligible for it, but certainly it was a golden key for my son - people have taken his difficulties a lot more seriously since.

One poster mentioned getting a neuropsychological assessment. My son had this and it was very enlightening in terms of providing clear pointers as to what the specific difficulties and strengths were as well as giving percentile values to these so that you could see where the discrepancies lay (e.g. high IQ, low processing speed with a 60% difference). This gives good solid stuff to help the school and get support. What it doesn't do is say how to help these discrepancies, which is where we are at, especially as they tend to emerge as emotional problems. You are right to be concerned that there is apparently no progress, although I would be asking to look at sub-level progress as it may be that there is progress within some areas of literacy, but not consistent across the attainment targets to allow for the achievement of a level. Hope your review goes well.

Lots to think about. Had more input from psych today and there is going to be a multi agency meeting including autism support team and psych in school to look at things in more detail and come up with possible strategies. Much of this has taken everyone by surprise, so it's nobody's fault and people aren't being negligent. However, all your posts have given me lots of things to take along to this meeting whenever it happens, so thank you.

Good to hear. Thank you. Think school are doing their best - it takes time to get things right. I just needed to hear that it can improve.

diagnosis of ASD - v high IQ but processing and lang issues. Has Individual funding amounting to three and a half days support. Has mentoring sessions etc and will get support of ASD specific team. Didn't have support in primary - just about struggled on without it apart from emergency bouts. It's not level of support bothering me but rapid downshift in spite of it.