KKaren

Well thanks all for ur advice he tried to take an over dose at the weekend because I insisted he couldn't smoke so what now ??

Thanks guys for your advice ill just have to go with the flow and see if the novelty wears off probably take a few years until then ill try and keep him off the real things and out of trouble!, Not Easy!!

At the minute he isn't smoking the real thing. He was at school supplied by his mates, on the psy advice I got him an electronic cig - which hes used up to now and now he wants to smoke herbal... what I'm saying is hes driving me mad and yes he knows all the health risks as he has researched it but its like water off a ducks back and I know he'll be on the real things as soon as he can buy them himself. As for other things to do he boxes, he has a gym membership, he helps out at an animal santuary so I've tried numerous things to keep him occupied and healthy! But hes his own person and will do his own thing and 3 more years as he keeps telling me he'll be an adult - hopefully it won't be drugs but who knows.

He is 15 and says it calms him down. I think to start it was peer pressure and fitting into the group Now he no longer attends school and is home tutored he says it calms him and keeps the boredom at bay

Hi guys my 15 year old son has become obsessed with smoking He's tried the real things through friends so docs advice was to get him an electronic cig Been smoking that for a while now and now wants to try herbal All in all he keeps asking me to buy them for him which I say is illegal and he can smoke at 16 if he really wants to but the health concerns out way the smoking Any similar problems ??? To let him smoke or not??? He's doing my head in with this at the moment any advice would be good.

Hi Sally Thanks for your advice i live in NI which is part of the UK but I when i suggested a school for my son it was just ignored - he doesn't have any professionals working with him apart from CAMHS (which are not great) - I've had advice from the childrens law unit and I've emailed SENAC for their advice, I also have a social worker and I am in the process of getting his statement reassessed however hes now 14 and time is running out and I think the education board are just bidding their time until he is no longer their problem. I have emailed the board and asked them to provide me with a list of schools with special units and will go from there - god knows what January brings! But for the meantime we will try and enjoy Christmas... Karen

I have a 14 year old boy with PDA, ADHD, OCD. Since going into secondary school it has been a nightmare. He has been taken out of school now and placed into an Educational Guidance Centre as he was being aggressive in school. He is statemented and had a full time classroom assitant. This guidance centre is much worse than school, its strict discipline has sent him over the edge, they send him home for the smallest things He gets sent home for days on end sometimes weeks. They have admitted they can't cope with him and don't have the resources to manage his behaviour - which in my eyes has got much worse since attending this place. I have contacted the childrens law centre because he wants deperately to attend school but is definitely in the wrong environment. The Education Board have said he can have noting else but 4 hours home tutoring per week. He can't go back to his mainstream school (it probably wouldn't work) without a good report from this centre. The teachers in the centre are not sympathic to children like my son they just think he has severe behavioural problems which can be solved with discipline. There is a special needs school which I would like him to attend but his IQ is too high (just over ) to attend this school. I have asked for him to be reassessed and told him to fail all of their tests to drop his IQ??? i'm just deperate to get him into a suitable place. any advice would be great??? oh yes he wants to attend school he likes being in school and has tantrums if he can't go.!

Thanks I'll be googling those!

Has anyone ever used this product it's from America and I have heard good reports that it helps with aggression and concentration ?? trying it out on my 14 yo son see if it helps him

I'm still getting the looks!!! God help those respectable neighbours I have... with their peeerrrffect lives !!! I bet everyone of them has a skelton in the cupboard or maybe under the patio!!! keep smiling

School has been a nightmare for him he has been home tutored the last 6 months before the holidays, he is going to a special unit in September which he has obtained a full time place - very small and only about 4 / 5 in a class so I'm hoping this will work out okay for him - the problem with the kids in the street is he says whatever pops into his head and sometimes its very inappropriate - obviously the neighbours think because hes 14 he should be able to control this and is doing it on purpose to upset their children and we don't discipline him enough.. forget the fact their children are calling him inappropriate swear words ! thats just normal... fun times!!! Anyway as you say hopefully everyone going back to school and dark nights will calm the situation down a good bit.. Either that or I'll just have to drink more wine!!! Karenx

Thanks Guys normally these people don't annoy me I'll just have to ignore the lot of them.! Its him I feel sorry for and it doesn't help his confidence. I think I'll buy a house in the middle of a field!!

Do you ever feel like public enemy number 1??? Moved house as having problems with son and kids in the street settled into new house not much more than a year and now all the kids in the street fighting excluding my son again and parents calling to complain about him. Does it ever end????

Hi guys anyone been on this med?? my 14 year old is trying very bad ADHD and not great with meds gets bad moods?

Hi Sally I took him out of school myself because everyday I was getting calls to pick him up he was being aggressive they were being extremely unhelpful - he has a statement and has a full time classroom assistant but all she managed to do was take offence at him and report him he got some home tuition whilst out of school and we were starting again after Easter. As soon as he went back it was the same old routine nothing new and when he wanted to sit with friends interact with classroom his classroom assistant was stopping this happening keeping him away to make sure he didn't talk even though the others in his class are allowed to talk quietly. Then it was just a matter of me getting a call about an hour or two later to pick him up as he wouldn't co-operate with them. So I felt they had given up on him and couldn't be bothered with the hassle anymore - I've already been in with the ed board and they are more than useless so I've taken him out now and am going to try somewhere else. It might not work but a fresh set of eyes may help him -he hasn't been diagnosed with Aspergers but with OCD / ADHD / Anxiety Disorder - he manages to make friends but is very immature for his age and doesn't always read siutations right and so then struggles. Anyway I feel I have no other options I don't want to keep trying over the next two years with people who don't give a hoot about him and therefore have been forced into this position. I haven't spoken to NAS as he has not had a diagnosis of Autism and don't know whether they would be able to help.? thanks Karen

Hi Guys My son Matt has been out of school now for 12 weeks we managed to get him to go back 1/2 days this week and it was just dreadful - I feel the school - mainstream secondary has basically given up on him. He has a full time classroom assistant and instead of being his "buddy" she is just his spy to report on him - this had made me very cross as hes always offending her? Example of Thursday went in - went to form class was happy - went to ICT wanted to sit with his friend and have the classroom assistant on his left hand side and friend on right (long table) classroom assistant refused saying she was right handed - he then became very cross and wouldn't do any work - she reported him to SENCO who phoned me and told me to come and pick him up this was 10am one hour later. The teacher in the ICT room has no problem with the kids quietly chatting while working but he wasn't allowed to do this and so was excluded. This has gone on all week and I've decided to move him to another secondary school as any chance of special needs school is out the window no Moderate Learning Difficulty. Has anyone done this he is in year 10 now but year 11 and 12 loom and would be more important years - I don't know if its the right choice but i feel I have no other options and do not want to send him somewhere that can't be bothered with him. K

I voted for Adam!

Hi Jan I know what you mean I have actually just accepted my son for who he is and felt a weight lift off my shoulders - I went through the last lot of years hoping he would 'grow out of it' and thought he was going through various phases - I also think he if he can't go to school now well he can go back later or to night class with me or other options so I'm still seeing the light at the end of the tunnel I'm hoping its a time thing as well - most things with my son do usually move with time... good luck x

Its the only thing we have been offered they wouldn't even consider sending him to special needs school even though thats what we wanted and there is a great school down the road I even offered to pay his school fees, anyway its something we are going to have to try the centre only has 20 children and the children who suffer with anxiety are in a different corridor to the disruptive pupils last resort really heres hoping it works!

over here (NI) we have not had any problems with Social Workers - I actually asked to have one but they were too busy to take on our case - I thought they would be able to advise us better on independent schools etc - anyway its been left to the education board to sort out - at present we've been offered 4.5 hours a week in a local library - special needs school out of the question because he doesn't have Moderate Learning Difficulty. Then at Easter time he will be given a place in the educational guidance centre - this is a primary school set up for children who are school refusers due to anxiety or changelling behaviour - if he can't go back to school at all which I think they are hoping he will be able to do (I have my doubts) he may be offered if very lucky a full time place if he fits into this guidance centre - here he can do 5 GCSEs - it looks like this might be our only hope and thats if he fits in. Were is the information about independent schools for emotional problems and school refusers ? I found it very difficult to access any informaiton and the education board tell you as little as possible.

Hi Alexis he is okay with most of his subjects but the main problem is he won't go to class due to anxiety and now is out of school. He has been on risperidone and it didn't help only made his anxiety worse the usual I'm going for home tuition now and also at Easter 2 days in a smaller guidance centre and I'm hoping he will like it better in there only 20 people so small and secure fingers crossed!

Second opinion on his problems - OCD, Anxiety, School Refuser, hair puller, skin picker all getting worse as he gets older so the psy is looking for a second opinion as he has tried various different medications but nothing helps - meds bring on tantrums and depression...

Hi All My son (14) is waiting on a bed for an inpatient assessment has anyone gone through this process with their child and have an idea of whats involved - we have been told he could be in for 1-3 months or longer allowed home at weekends not sure what testing / therapy he will go through?

Thanks Sally - Matt does have a statement and full-time classroom assistant support, he goes to the SENCO at breaks and then to the lunch club at lunchtimes - they also take him out of class if he becomes unsettled, he was also doing his work in a separate room with classroom assistant - all this and he still couldn't manage? I had a meeting with the Education Board, Senco and school psychologist - I asked for referral to special needs school but they have no special school which could support him as he is capable of doing his GCSEs. Unfortunately this morning he has decided he can't go back in so we are going for home tuition in a local library 1 1/2 hours a day 3 days per week - at Easter time he will be given a 2 day placement in the Educational Guidance Centre - this is for children who along with anxiety have other issues going on - it is a primary school setting adn very small - I'm hoping he can go there and settle and maybe intergrade back into school on a part time basis. Anxiety is the big factor and paranoia he thinks people are talking / laughing at him - although I do know he has plenty of friends as well as some enemies. Anyway I'm not going to stress out about it I'll just go with the flow and keep him calm - he is awaiting a place in hospital for a full assessment - that will be very hard as he will be an inpatient for a couple of months but I'm hoping he can then access the correct help and support camhs have been more than useless for us - thats why I've decided the hospital route may be of greater help and better to get it done now and not leave it any longer. Anyway thanks for your advice you are lucky you managed to get a good school for your child it makes all the difference! Karen

Thank you all for your advice its very welcome - I have put the ball back into Matts court and explained to him education is better in school than sitting in the house however I don't know if he is in the right school - sally you are so lucky to have found the right school for your child it makes all the difference! Anyway onwards and upwards - Matt has decided to go into school this Friday for a half day - who knows if he will get there fingers crossed... !