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pola y dobie

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Everything posted by pola y dobie

  1. <'> >< Firstly glad to hear your son is FINALLY coming home to you and no doubt YOU both will be looking forward to seeing each other again. It seems you feel negative regarding his mental health assessment, I dont know what specifically they were assessing him for? But having under taken over twenty years of mental assessments on a variety of people ( my background in psychiatry and learning disabilities), I have never in my life told any parent or carer that the person they love or care for will have negative behaviour forever. If it would benefit you, then please let me know (message my inbox) and we can look through the assessment together and you can have the benefit of a professional in this field have a second opinion for you. Mental health assessments should undertake the 'holistic approach' ensuring that every aspec of your sons health is examined and why factors are affecting his mood, behaviour etc... Let me know if I can help POLA ( psychiatric and learning disability nurse for 20 years and living with my partner with Aspergers)
  2. pola y dobie

    Bad News...

    [ <'> Sorry to hear your news...sending you cuddles and hugs xx
  3. fantastic news paul..spirit orbs are fantastic to see, small bundles of psychic energy..as someone genuinely interested in all psychic activity its great to hear of others experience. Being sensitive often helps attract them
  4. Hello Friends!! Apologies for what must seem like ages in writing and sending in my inputs. Hope everyone is well. Me I've been busy with my partner Dobie. Fighting the Department of Work and Pensions, Fighting with Social Services, Writing to Chief Executives of varius health and social departments. Why?? Because unlike me, as a genuine caring psychiatric nurse, THEY CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO DO THEIR WORK FOR MY PARTNER. :wallbash: Hence they have angered me that much that I The Great White Pola Bear have unleashed hell fury upon them... Still waiting for a social worker to carry out a care assessment, still waiting for psychotherapy services, STILL being REFUSED ACCESS TO COLIR PROJECT a SOUTH LANARKSHIRE COUNCIL FUNDED ROUTES TO WORK COURSE FOR PERSONS WITH ASPERGERS?? :angry: Oh the joys of trying to get help in britain for a person with aspergers??? ( GOSH DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR TO ANYONE OUT THERE). Even trying to the DEA (Disability Employment Advisor Hamilton JobCentre) to get off her backside and refer my partner Dobie to REMPLOY where they ACTUALLY WILL EMPLOY HIM.. Hell its easier moving a mountain!!!! One whole year of no help or assistance. ONE WHOLE YEAR OF NOTHING!!! (If in my own nursing career I were to do the same, I would be SACKED so why the hell arent they??) :angry: Of course trying to quit smoking has been disaster aswell with all the letters i have to write??? ANYONE OUT THERE JUST FOR A HUG OR SMILE..... LOVE AS ALWAYS pola AKA Chris the extreme hard working psychiatric and learning disability nurse who works 80 hours per week without support for partner.xxx
  5. Still breathing and very much alive!!!!busy with work etc....

  6. Love, light and rainbows sent to you both <3 <'> >< in our thoughts and special prayers xx
  7. <'> Dobie my partner only prefers Heavy Metal Music ( me being a GAGA fan myself). Everyday we have metal and rock music played in our home, in our car etc... When asked to change and listen to alternative music, Dobie has meltdown!! So we have agreed to play the metal music at certain times of the day only ( .i.e. when i'm asleep in bed during my nightshift and when I'm at work). Interesting theory though, I suppose all of us can 'repetitive behaviour', including us NT's ( i have to follow the same routine every am and dont like to change it and I'm NT I think!!!) POLA
  8. This really has got me thinking into what 1980's programmes were available... so here's my list of what I remember POLA A • The Adventure Game • The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers • Animal Magic • Art Attack B • The Bad News Bears • Bananaman • The Beachcombers • Bertha • Blockbusters • Blue Peter • Bod • The Book Tower • Bozo the Clown • Bravestarr • Button Moon C • Captain Caveman • Captain Kangaroo • Care Bears • Cheggers Plays Pop • The Chronicles of Narnia • Count Duckula • Crackerjack D • Danger Mouse • DEF II • Degrassi High • Degrassi Junior High • Doctor Snuggles • Dogtanian & the Three Muskethounds • Dungeons & Dragons E • Educating Marmalade F • The Famous Five • Finger Mouse • Fraggle Rock G • Going Live! • Grange Hill H • Hanna Barbera Cartoons • Heckle & Jeckle I • Inspector Gadget J • Jackanory • Jem & The Holograms • The Jetsons • Jigsaw • Jim'll Fix It K • Kids of Degrassi Street • King Rollo • Knight Rider L • The Littlest Hobo • Look & Read M • M.A.S.K • Magpie • Metal Mickey • Monkey • Mr Merlin • The Moomins • Multi-Coloured Swap Shop • Muppet Babies N • Newsround • No. 73 • Noggin The Nog • Noozles O • No Shows Listed P • Paddington • Pee Wee's Playhouse • The Pink Panther Show • Pinwheel • Pipkins • Play Away • Play School • Postman Pat Q • No Shows Listed R • The Raggy Dolls • Rainbow • Rainbow Brite • Razzamatazz • Rentaghost • Romper Room S • Saturday Superstore • Screen Test • Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13¾ • Sesame Street • She-Ra • Simon Townsend's Wonder World • The Smurfs • The Snowman • The Sooty Show • Strawberry Shortcake • The Storyteller • Supergran • Super Mario Brothers T • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles • Terrahawks • ThunderCats • Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends • Transformers • The Tripods • Tucker's Luck U • No Shows Listed V • No Shows Listed W • Why Don't You? • The Wind in the Willows • The Wonder Years • Worzel Gummidge • Worzel Gummidge Down Under XYZ • Your Mother Wouldn't Like It • Zoobilee Zoo • Zoom
  9. My son has been waiting for 3 weeks and he is urgent! we did request a referral from our GP to go to a private CAHMS that specialise in Autism but it required a Social workers referral and she has refused. It makes me mad why social workers wont do the job they paid ALOT of money to do!!! Our Social worker is a nightmare, not responding etc, and even waiting for a Community Care Assessment is taking an eternity. I could have done a full report myself in 1 day!!!
  10. <'> Having trained and worked as a Learning Disability Nurse and Psychiatric Nurse, it does depend upon what catchment health area you in live in. It used to be a case of either side passing the AS person to each team. However, please note ONLY Learning Disability Nurses ( RNMH or RNLD ) are actually trained in the Autistic Areas. Psychiatric Nurses are not trained in that specific diagnosis!! My experience has shown that Autism and AS generally comes falls under the Learning Disability Nursing Team. As during my career, I came into contact with autism and AS then, than did my psychiatric nurse colleagues!! <'> POLA xx
  11. Well I have two degrees ( Cambridge University) 1 degree Alicante University. And believe me I would definitely go and work in Asda. We have friends there and they get better benefits than me working alot of hours per week. I've done a alot of jobs in my life, and the best ones have been with what we call 'the workers', how I miss huddled up with mugs of tea and having a quick ciggy with 'the gals'!! Life was easier and happier then ....( Pola goes off to happily reminisce).... Seriously, employers should recognise the potential of everyone who applies for work, unfortunately they dont, even with Discrimination Laws etc in place. Dobie has been unable to get any employment within the last 9 months, and thats with me putting out CV's etc for any job. AS and NT all live in a world which is constantly changing both economically and financially, the days of anyone getting a secure job, whether you have degrees or gcses or even CSE's and 16 plus ( I'm showing my age)is now becoming limited. Be grateful you have a job, and be grateful you get any government benefit ( I pay over 1,000 in tax per month and Dobie my partner can't any unemployment benefit)GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Makes my fur stand on end!! Thanks for reading my posting xx POLA
  12. :notworthy: :notworthy: thank you
  13. <'> >< Hope these little words can provide comfort and support to everyone here. Be The Best of Whatever You Are by Douglas Malloch If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill Be a scrub in the valley--but be The best little scrub by the side of the rill; Be a bush if you can't be a tree. If you can't be a bush be a bit of the grass, And some highway some happier make; If you can't be a muskie then just be a bass-- But the liveliest bass in the lake! We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew, There's something for all of us here. There's big work to do and there's lesser to do, And the task we must do is the near. If you can't be a highway then just be a trail, If you can't be the sun be a star; It isn't by size that you win or you fail-- Be the best of whatever you are!
  14. Anyone who lives in Scotland ( or any part of UK ) interested in meeting up in Scotland? Would be great to meet any fellow NT's AS's etc for a chat, friendship etc.... Dobie and I live in Glasgow, but can travel, we can accommodate (have guest bedroom). forgot to mention we do have two crazy dogs!!! Or even organising a trip in Scotland? Have got a fantastic brochure on holidaying in Scotland very cheap prices etc, Let us know, everyone welcome POLA and DOBIE xx
  15. <'> Monkey!!! How I wish i could summon up a little cloud and whisk myself away!! Always watched it especially the pig with the turtle shell on his back!! My ALL time favourite must be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW54W9y6-eU Dobie leaves the room when ever i put the VHS tapes on!! Must be his AS hehehe ( at least I can get the sofa to myself for an hour)!! POLAx
  16. <'> Thanks for the reply. Firstly in reply, I am NOT good looking, nor am into fitness, infact generally plain -jane, pardon the pun!! But I do think think its important to be honest in relationships. If the person you meet truly wants to be with you, then they will accept AS. Dobie was honest with me when we met. Ok, I had limitations into what AS was, but that certainly didn't stop me loving and falling in love with him. The same can be said of any relationship, you have to be honest. I have read through the internet into AS groups especially groups of NT partners ( heterosexual groups), that NT women seem disappointed with their AS partner!! My believe is they havent read into what AS is, therefore relationship problems begin. But there ARE alot of NT women who have written negative views on their AS partners. I can't really comment on why this relationship failures etc, myself being gay!! If you say they 'bolt' as soon as you say AS, then in my opinion they are not worth the relationship. And what pray tell me is a ' REAL MAN' !!!! I have a real man at home waiting for me, he cares for our dogs, makes me a cup of tea when I finish nightshift, cuddles and tells me he loves me. My real man has AS, and I wouldn't swap him for any other. Thanks for reading my posting POLA Relationships are the worst. I don't generally have a hard time with women because I'm really into fitness and MMA and Muay Thai boxing and women kinda dig the "quiet strong silent type" some don't but some do and it kinda works with them and I don't want to sound vain but I'm a fairly good looking guy and they usually talk to me first, if they didn't I would probably still be a virgin lol. I don't ever want to admit to a woman that I have aspergers syndrome because just like most women I have met they just bolt as soon as they hear it. This is early on in the relationship because its a big part of who I am (URGH!! I HATE IT!!) and they should probably know this massive fact about me, if we are together for a year then drop the bomb on her about how my brain is basically broken or wasn't made properly, then she is kinda stuck with me and being together that long is like lying to her and not telling her at all. Most of the women who like me aren't my thing, they are all kinda soft and sweat-hearted and kind, when what I like are kinda the opposite, I have a b**ch fetish where she is confrontational and goal driven and those women want a real man and I cant be when I have aspergers.
  17. Work very busy:( Finally got carpet cleaners in Friday!! Day off thursday Hurray!! Back on the diet, this bear has put on weight not good!!

  18. Looking forward to Sunday I have one day off!!

  19. <'> Hello!! Ok I'll try to explain it for you....when someone tells you that his goldfish died, you may sympathise. You imagine how the person must be feeling. If say, your own goldfish was no longer alive, then you can 'empathise' saying ' well I know how you must feel, as I went through that myself'. However, knowing how other people 'feel' can be quite difficult for people with AS. The ability to see something from a friend's perspective to imagine how they must feel in a particular situation is called ' theory of mind'. Persons with AS show difficulty with things that involve theory of mind, which means that social interaction is hard and sociable behaviour is unpredictable ( dobie always says to me, imagine not being able to how how a person feels, then trying to say something right to them!). Hope this helps!! POLA xx
  20. <'> >< Thank you for your lovely replies. I never expect to get them, but it's good to hear that there ARE friends out there reading what I write or rant about. So many genuine thanks. I get quite annoyed what is forever being written about AS, (followers of my previous postings, will know that I am happily ploughing through a stack of books, research etc on AS) and trying to figure out for myself what's it all about. There just seems to be so much negativity on the subject. I have worked in psychiatry for over 20 years ( yes I am getting an older bear!!), and I have never read so much negativity on one condition/way of life. I am STILL waiting for the book entitled 'You know what, having AS isn't really that bad, OK, you'll have some problems, BUT life's like that, So don't worry!!' ( my librarian is still searching for that book for me.) Too be honest, life IS difficult, it aint easy for anyone, no matter what you have. What's important is that you have someone there for you, just to give you a little push, offer a smile, give you a hug (dobies favourite), and even offer to make the occasional cup of tea!! With little things in life, much greater things CAN and often ARE achieved. Dobie has dramatically improved ( since moving out from a mental support unit) in his skills, since being offered the chance to live in a 'normal' environment, which allows him to make mistakes, from which he can learn from. There is not one day when I don't love him, we take each other's limitations and work upon them, encouraging and supporting each other. That's what life should be like. They say not one person is the same, and I agree, it would be boring, BUT they do say that everyone IS equal. Whether you have AS or NT, we are ALL in this life and world TOGETHER, its just a case of trying to understand each other a bit better. If it means on my part reading more, thinking before I open my mouth, asking how my partner feels, re-explaining what I meant, continuing to show Dobie how to change the duvet sheet, then so be it, I will do this. There may be one person with AS in our home, BUT there are two people who will endure anything and everything to support and love each other. Always Support Never Trouble which equals ASNT. thank you again for reading my genuine postings. Bear hugs to you all POLA XXX
  21. Glad your enjoying Lanzarote!! Mirador del Rio, fantastic views. HAve a great holiday. Trying to think of the programme you were watching!!
  22. Having read the comments I never realised that people with AS felt like this . I know my partner Dobie has had difficulties socially interacting throughout his life, and has faced many challenges.And still does!! But he always stated that although he has AS, it is DOBIE that comes first and not the AS. We discuss and support each other alot in our relationship, and try and overcome the barriers that AS continues to put in our way. Usually it is me as an NT that gives Dobie the problems!! Try as I might, i try to see how life affects him and how he views the world and understands it! But in truth I cant, I only get a glimpse if that. But we have the love and support for each other to make it work. I try and tell Dobie what its like being an NT. Being the main support for our family, working endless hours on nightshift, to pay for bills etc, and staying awake long enough when I get home to feed the dogs and spend time with our little family. Being an NT isn't all its cracked up to be either!! Knowing how to socially interact, knowing how people think, act and behave towards each other, can even for an NT be overbearing. I believe we put on a variety of masks in our lives, just to get through situations. Life is NOT easy, but it CAN be enjoyable. Looking to the future, I hope I can make Dobie learn the essential skills it takes to run a home, to manage bills, to know how to keep in good company and know when others are not being nice to you. I know Dobie will need assisted support to help him, after I am gone to the great BEAR grounds in the sky. Having that knowledge as an NT does not make me a happy Bear. Knowing that life could turn out either way for Dobie. But I perserviar and continue to teach my partner the skills and social rights and wrongs he will desperately need to continue in his life. Thank you for reading my posting. POLA xx
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