Shrinking Violet

Hello again to anyone who remembers me! I don't know how to word this, been planning it out in my head for days but, as always, when it comes to put fingers to keys, it doesn't always go as planned! The last 3 months, since the last time I was here (4th March, according to the date in the bottom right corner of the screen) have been eventful to say the least and, as usual, I spent much of it on the streets in the North West and Yorkshire. I won't bore you with the entire story, as it could go on for many, many, MANY pages (and I know this forum has a character limit on posts!) but after weeks in Liverpool, Manchester and Sheffield, I ended up in York. From there, I was sent by the Salvation Army to a women-only project in Bradford but I had been struggling to keep a lid on things as I'd had my iPods stolen when I was roughing it in York (and you can imagine what a big deal that was for me) and it culminated in me being picked up by the plod again for breach of the peace (a familiar story it me!) and I spent the night in the cells at Bradford nick, The following morning, I was given a leaflet by the desk sergeant, and was told that I'd be taken to this place and the people there would be able to help me. However, it didn't transpire that way, as the copper driving didn't appear to know where he was going (and his mate didn't seem to have much of a clue, either) and they just dumped me in the general vicinity but, as luck would have it, I was found by 2 workers from another organisation (the name of which I forget now) who tried to assist me the best they could. They took me to the housing dept at BCC, who arranged for me to go into a B&B for the night, From there, they took me back to their offices, and called the Adult Services team at social services and arranged for me to be seen by a social worker specialising in adults with ASDs and AD(H)D. She was fantastic, and was the most helpful human being I've come across thus far in my long, long, LONG struggle to achieve some form of independence. She asked me for the name of my GP (which I couldn't remember, but I did manage to give her the practice details) and she said she'd call the surgery and try to arrange for me to be referred to a specialist unit in Sheffield and to see if SS down here could arrange to assist me with finding accommodation back up north. So I toddled off to the B&B for the night, and caught the earliest train I could back down here (via the Apple Store in Brum, to purchase a new iPod (I how have a 64GB touch, bought not only for music, but because I thought there'd be apps that would assist in making my life a little easier...)). This is where everything started falling apart. 1) My GP is NOT able to refer out of county 2) Social services will NOT offer me any kind of help, support, and have told me that there is nowhere in the county I can obtain a diagnosis. If I was 7, no 37, and my mother had called SS requesting a SEN, then fine; if I was elderly and in need of home help, fine. If I was a (physically) disabled child/adult, fine but, of course, I'm not. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING by way of support for an adult approaching 40, with (suspected) AS! This is, as you can well imagine, taking a very serious toll on me: - physically, mentally and financially. As I believe I may have mentioned here before, I have IBS, which has become SO acute and severe now, I'm beginning to wonder if it's not 'mutated' into something more serious. If I want to leave the house, I MUST take the following with me: - 1) A change of clothes, anything up to 3 sizes bigger than normal (when fully 'deflated' I'm a size 6 almost everywhere - even H&M, and their stuff comes up small). I got rid of all my bigger clothes (gave the size 10 Ts to my mum) - thank the gods for Primark! When I was in Manchester, I went to Debenhams to be measured for a new bra, as my current ones were becoming very loose. The woman measured me up as a 28B (well I did say I was tiny now! ) I returned to the same store a week later when I was EXTREMELY bloated and saw someone else. She couldn't understand why her colleague had measured me so small as, according to her tape measure, I needed a 36DD!! I had to explain to her that they were BOTH right (the 2nd occasion, I'd gone in wearing size 12). I have since given up wearing a bra at all (thankfully, my boobs are NOT a 36DD, but there is something which causes my chest to expand (one GP I saw at a walk-in centre at the MRI said it was gas) and it really is dramatic, hence the need to carry bigger clothes round with me (the problem is my waist doesn't change, so I have to carry a belt round with me). I went to Westfield in London the day after my birthday (I spent the actual day living in the bathroom in agony). I treated myself to GBK but, within minutes of finishing my meal, I was in agony, and had to rush off to their loo to change and, on the Tube back to Marylebone, I had someone offer me her seat because she thought I was pregnant! It has got to the stage where, if I don't use Ex-Lax (or similar) on a regular basis, I just can't go at all and, when it comes to TOTM, I CANNOT leave the house AT ALL (which, because I also have PCOS, means I could be incarcerated for anywhere up to a fortnight). I can go for night after night after night without sleep because of the pain (in the winter, I can use hot water bottles and those heat pad things to ease it but, in the summer that's not an option when the nights are warm). I'm not too bad today (probably because I spent the last 3 days living in the bathroom with the runs) and I'm actually wearing my H&M XS tops (albeit sans bra) but I've had to resort to size 10 legs, because I can't not eat! I'm also suffering from stress-aggravated alopecia (I have several bald patches now, varying in size from 5p up to £2) Because I just want to escape all the time, I'm spending money I don't really have (I'm now PERMANENTLY overdrawn!) on train tickets here, there and everywhere, because it's just 'something to do'. I'm also back on the sauce again after nearly a decade of being almost completely dry (back then it was spirits, now it's cider and perry). It doesn't help when Tesco has Magner's/Bulmer's on offer for just over £1 a bottle if you buy more than one case. I'm trying to be careful, though, as the very last place I want to end up (obviously) is back in the local psychiatric prison. So, after all that (and I know I said I wasn't going to ramble again - I fail at that every time, don't I...? ) how the HELL do I escape back up north permanently? I know where I want to be (Sheffield) but without any kind of help and support, I just don't see how I'm going to be able to leave here. There's nothing in the way of advocacy, either (think I may have mentioned in the past that there's only one advocacy agency round here and they dumped me about 5 years ago; to quote their manager (and she's still the manager now, so I've not bothered reapproaching them) "We can no longer help you, Sarah, as you are wasting to much of our time which we could more usefully employ helping other people". Nice, huh..? I honestly can't see a way out anymore (apart from in a wooden box). I'm too f**ked up to live, but too cowardly to finish it (and I'd have to make sure I did the job properly, or I'd be spending the rest of my life on a section 3 in Tindal!) If anyone can offer me any advice (and I'll be VERY surprised if anyone can) then please yell! In case you've forgotten, I'm in South Bucks, I don't drive and I'm skint! Thank you all very much, <'> Sarah xxx

I agree with the drawing suggestion; maybe she feels that, if she 'tells', she's going to get into trouble with school, you - or both, or cause her to lose 'face' in the playground. However, drawing, obviously not being verbal. may not be classed as telling in her eyes.

Quite simply, there comes a time when you realise it's getting out of hand and there are no answers to be found in bottles. Trust me, I've been there too (for me there was also the social indignation of being found passed out in a pool of my own, well you get the idea...). I have to try to be tee-total these days; if I even have one drink, I know it's going to all come back again (though I do have to admit I still drink socially, but I'm able to limit it to that - I've not drunk alone now for about 3 years).

Thanks sweetheart. Think it MIGHT just have stopped raining, so I'm gonna go sit in the woods for a bit. Sounds, nice, trust me it ain't! Had VIOLENT squits last night; I order online from Sainsbury's and the carton of goats' milk they sent me was orf! No, I don't know why I didn't smell it before dumping it in my tea, either! So I'm going to have to go to the new Tesco (something I PROMISED Mum I"d NEVER do, but they're the only store round here which sells goats' milk) Hugs <'> Sarah the Stupid xxx

Right, this is wot's goin' down, posse! Tuesday morning I'm booked in to be bled (hate needles, but I'm getting braver) She's written about 20 things on that form so its gonna be a bit of a Hancockian-type thing (my mum's late dad used to love Tony Hancock). Then on the 1st, I'm booked in for a smear (must remember to call nurses secretary on Monday (forgot this morning - DOH!) to tell her that I'll be about 15 minutes' late, due to the crappy bus service round here! Then at some point, I've got to get myself to the other side of Wycombe to the new 'diagnostics centre' for an ultrasound (this is another little rantage of mine; this centre is basically where you now have to go for US/MRI/CAT scans/X-rays - NOT to Wycombe General. This means that appointment is going to cost me around £20 in transport costs (£4 for the bus to the station, £6 for the train fare and a tenner for a cab!) Dunno when that is, though, not got the appt in the post yet. Meanwhile I'm living in a war zone. They've dug the trenches for the extension foundation (they were at it with a jackhammer at about 8am this morning!) On the plus side, I do have some new talent to ogle (Dom and Adam they're called, apparently). Thing is, I don't think they go for my type - their buckets are strawberry pink... Maybe that means they're just supporting Breakthrough, but somehow I doubt it... Gonna see if I can squeeze me bum/tum into my 8 legs tomorrow (managed 6 last weekend, but tried them yesterday, and I nearly split the seams, so that's a no go!) though it's gonna be COLD!!! Sunday's better, but I need to go to Boots (I'm out of shampoo and conditioner - getting through a lot because I've not been able to go to Wycombe and have my hair done for 3 months - and it's thick!) Hugs all! Sarah xxxx

I didn't vote (wasn't registered) but the problem is that politicians have LONG forgotten who - and what - they are; CIVIL SERVANTS, elected by and to serve the populace. These days, they pay themselves what the fook they like, help themselves to extras from the public purse and most have interests outside the House, which I bet they don't declare! Look at the front bench; only a couple (Theresa May and Vince Cable) aren't public school educated, and/or have an Oxbridge degree. Whatever happened to 'governance by the people for the people'...?! As an audience member on Question Time last night, eruditely observed: - this whole tree thing - it's just a red herring so we forget the damage they're doing to the welfare state, the NHS, youth unemployment, students etc., and to make it seem they're actually listening to us. He went on to add he didn't believe they were going to do it anyway... I happen to agree with him! That's the problem, they'll get away with it because they're squillionaires. I'm old enough - just! - to remember the last Tory government, too (though strictly speaking this is the Ne Coalition Academy as Private Eye puts it - not that I read that anymore; not after they made a tasteless (in the extreme) joke that there was an organisation set up to deal with the disabled - it's called Dignitas! I cancelled my subscription that very day, and not bought an issue since!) This part of Bucks has been deep Blue for years and my MP (Dominic Grieve) is another who's public school (Charterhouse, IIRC) and Oxbridge educated. ' I became embroiled in a VERY heated debate on FB last night (I subbed to the Indie's fan page) over this issue (my statements got me over 2 dozen 'likes' each - not that I was counting or anything!) Right I need to go lie down for a bit I think... I could be here all night on this one!

BD (sorry only just seen this thread - well I only joined a month ago!) I think what the OP means is that her daughter refuses to eat anything but high carbohydrate foods, which is the reason she's overweight and always hungry (due to the rollercoaster her blood sugar levels are taking all the time). You're right, of course; by buying spaghetti hoops and (presumably) white bread (which I'm sure you realise are nutritionally barren; it's perfectly possible to be (severely) overweight and suffering from malnutrition). Run a mile from anything which states it's 'fortified with vitamins and minerals' (usually breakfast cereals). If the crud wasn't fortified it'd be as nutritious as the box it's packaged in! I'm hesitant to recommend a low carb diet for a child, but it would help her lose weight (fairly rapidly too) and therefore regain her self-confidence and self-esteem. Please realise that high fat foods (providing the fat's natural and not hydrogenated, partially hydrogenated or trans fat (sometimes listed as 'trans fatty acids') are GOOD FOR YOU!! It's not FAT that makes you fat, it's carbohydrates because they're converted to fat if you don't burn them off. I've eaten a high(ish) fat diet since going low-carb 3 years ago and, until this mysterious malaise hit, I was steady at somewhere between 8st and 8.25st - provided I kept low carb. If I cheated, I knew it immediately. J's Mum: - The thing about drinking 8 glasses (2 litres) of water a day is another myth. As that ad for Strongbow proclaimed - 'obey your thirst'. Same with water. I drink sparkling throughout the day, flavoured with a twist of lemon and/or lime juice. I would also steer clear of 'sugar-free' drinks, too; if you MUST buy them, go for sucralose-sweetened (it's the lesser evil - avoid aspartame like the plague!) I would also recommend curbing juice/pure fruit smoothie intake as fructose is as bad for causing an insulin spike as sucrose/glucose. DON'T allow her to drink her calories The common theme here is carbs - and high sugar/starch carbs at that. Kids become addicted to carbs (I remember my cousin went through a phase in Year 1 where he refused to eat anything but Coco Pops so my aunt refused to buy them; he had to then eat what was put in front of him - or go hungry). Carbs are addictive - especially grainy ones, high in sugar. If you quit them, you get withdrawal symptoms, like an drug addict going through detox. I would always caution against seeing a dietician/nutritionist, because they don't have a clue what a healthy diet is - it's always high-carb, low-fat when, for weight-loss and general wellbeing it should be the other way round. Back to the OP again. Sausages and cheese - both excellent foods, provided she's not got a dairy (usually cows dairy) intolerance. Make sure the sausages are as premium as you can find and ensure they don't contain rust, oatmeal, or other fillers, or added sugar. The high fat and high protein content (provided carbs are severely restricted) will cause rapid fat loss and, therefore, should help her to regain her self-esteem. 5-a-day is another myth - all that fructose will lead to weight gain, as will over exercising. Exercising to 'build up an appetite' will also defeat the purpose and make anyone gain weight. When you exercise, your body first burns off consumed carbohydrate (which has been stored as glycogen) and if you push yourself too hard, it will turn on the muscle stores. To burn fat, you need to avoid chronic cardio, and exercise at between 55 and 75% of maximum heart rate for NOT MORE than 30 minutes 5 times a week. If you eat to the point of being ravenous, your body will tell you to eat high-sugar carbs (why do you think isotonic sports drinks are such big business...? Fast acting, quickly absorbed glucose, that's all they are). Because you're eating high sugar, your blood glucose will spike rapidly, then fall equally as rapidly, once again leaving you ravenous, so you'll go and raid the cake/biscuit tin again, and the cycle continues, undoing any benefit of exercise. Because high-fat and high-protein foods have no effect on BS levels, you don't go through this cycle, so you lose, rather than gain, body fat. This is why ads for shredded wheat (made to keep your heart healthy - erm, no it's not - you eat that every day, and you're on a one-way ride to heart disease!) make me so mad! I'm sure I'll be shouted down for posting this, but what I say is true - dieticians and nutritionists don't know squat! One day, I'll become the first dietician in the country (not that I am one, but I intend to be) to break all the current 'rules' and have overweight people eating a high fat diet!

YES!!! If I could wake up NT tomorrow, oh joy, oh JOY, OH JOY!!! Would make being physically ill so much easier too. I have NO friends (not in this s**thole of a town, because it's full of old dears - average age is late 60s) and because of the AS I keep screwing up online friendships, too. There is one woman I can talk to in town; her name's Anne and she runs a bespoke chocolate/ice-cream shop and cafe. She 'gets' me (always has done - she even let me sit her kids when they were little - it was the only babysitting job I ever had). Feels odd that her strapping, scrum-half of a son is now 19 (and if I was 15 years younger, I'd snog him in a heartbeat! He's GORGEOUS!!) She can't offer me support, though - she's FAR too busy! This month she has done a wedding fair, the Country Living magazine fair, and has something else, Easter-related, coming up at the beginning of next month. But when I'm able to go into town - I go in there for PROPER hot choccie and advice. I love her to bits; but she's known me ever since she moved to GX when the kids were small (excellent preps round here, y'see...) If I'm feeling REALLY chipper, then I go to the Camp (so-called because it was an old Roman fortification - it's even been Time Teamed!) because it's a favourite doggy-walking area; my parents abhor dogs, so it's the only way I can get the stress-relief I find they provide me (there's one lady I meet up there, as well as in town, who has the sweetest-natured King Charles I've ever met - Benson (or Bennie) he's called. Suggested to her he ought to be a PAT dog, hope she took my advice - the people in the Chiltern Cheshire Home would appreciate him, I'm sure. I was always wary of KCCSs before I met him; this Colombian girl at school had a b**ch who was, well a complete b**ch! She'd bite anyone who wasn't Camila or her mother). So I've decided when I get my own place, I'm getting a rescue greyhound. There was a sleigh pulled by half-a-dozen of them in Liverpool One the last time I was up there as part of an awareness campaign by the NW & Cheshire Greyhound Rescue. There were toddlers pulling their ears, tails and what fur they could get hold of and they just got licked, the dogs didn't seem to care at all... They were all owned, and one lady said her 15-month-old grandson used to play 'horsey' on hers - he didn't care, just used to flop when he'd had enough! Sorry, rambling again! Yes, I don't want to be an Aspie, because it makes me horrible! There's a lass I've REALLY hurt on Facebook (and I care about her a lot). Not the first clue how to make it up to her (she's in Manchester and I'm down here) so I've temporarily shut down my FB account before I hurt anyone else.

It is - I'm wondering if Selsey's become confused with something happening across the Pond, perhaps... That's odd... I THOUGHT it was in April, too, but I can't find anything on the NAS website... Hmm...

Why bother...? Ditch ALL grains altogether, it's FAR easier! What I didn't mention in my previous post is that we didn't evolve to eat grains - we cannot digest them (ever see sweetcorn in your, erm, motions..? That's the reason why! Our bodies simply don't know what to do with them - we only domesticated them around 10,000 years ago - that's a nanosecond in evolutionary terms). Not long enough for our bodies to develop mechanisms to deal with it. That's why I mentioned it to you in regards to IBS, Tally. One of the things I've noticed since eschewing grains is my IBS has vanished. That and the fact I've not had a cold for 3 years, despite being around those with streaming eyes and noses every winter. I don't believe this to be coincidental...

Kez, I'd STRONGLY recommend cutting out ALL grains and grain products - we haven't evolved to digest them. I follow a way of life known as 'Primalism'; this means eschewing all foods our ancient ancestors never ate - and that includes ALL grains, legumes, dairy (though that's a grey area - some eat it, some don't (I eat goats' dairy as much as I can)) sugars (yep, I don't subscribe to all this 5-a-day nonsense). Have a read of some of the articles here Mark's Daily Apple - Primal Blueprint 101 and you can make up your own mind. Billy - you have the right idea, but I bet you still recommend 5-a-day! That can add up to as many as 150g of carbs a day - and it's CARBS which make you fat, NOT fat! I'd recommend people read the following: - Why We Get Fat (And What To Do About It) - Gary Taubes (his Good Calories, Bad Calories is also worth reading, but it has more of a scientific bent, so it might not mean much to those who don't have a scientific background) The Primal Blueprint - Mark Sisson Protein Power - Drs. Michael and Mary Eades How I Ditched My Low-Fat Diet And Lost 40lb - Dana Carpender There are many, many, many diseases and disorders caused by our consumption of grains (many of which have been blamed on the consumption of dietary fats): - CHD Insulin resistance Type 2 diabetes Stroke IBS Crohn's disease Diverticulitis Coeliac disease The biggest myth of all is the cholesterol myth - there is no such thing as 'bad cholesterol' - this was invented by a guy called Ancel Keys (Google for his Seven Countries study).The consumption of grains (and all this nonsense about the consumption of whole grains, and particularly oats, preventing heart disease is bitterly ironic; by lowering LDL (the so-called 'bad cholesterol' you're raising triglyceride levels and it is this raising of triglycerides which causes CHD, stroke and type 2 diabetes - NOT the consumption of dietary saturated fat (which is actually essential for our wellbeing - as is cholesterol; the former is needed to protect our nerve and brain cells (there's a link between a diet low in saturated fat and Alzheimer's/dementia) and the latter is needed for the creation of blood plasma and new haemocytes (red blood cells). Besides our livers produce between 1200 and 1500mg of cholesterol a day, so what we consume in our food is really a drop in the ocean.) It was Ancel Keys's work which led to the invention of statins - a cure for a problem which never existed in the first place; indeed, the irony is (as I've just outlined) by lowering cholesterol, you're INCREASING the chances of that person developing CHD! My father is on 80mg Lipitor a day; I have seen the detrimental effects this has had on his health: - weight gain (he's gone from a 32" waist to a 38-40" in about 2.5 years) hearing loss. The ironic thing is that one of the side effects is weight gain yet it is indicated for use in hyperlipidemia caused by type 2 diabetes! Sorry, that developed into quite a rant again, but I REALLY do recommend reading those books (shame there aren't any similar British authors). I've been banned from many a forum for recommending a low carb diet - I hope this isn't another! Sarah xxx

Bunty, First off, sorry for not replying sooner - I've been offline for a few days (second new router needed in less than 6 months! ) You're missing the point (or I'm not explaining myself very well, which is usually the case). I TRIED with my sister, I tried for years and years and years, that's why it was such a shock, If I'd not tried, I'd not have been shocked. Does that make sense. Up until that point, I thought we understood each other. Now I know for sure we don't... The REAL problem I have is online. I live in a very small town in South Bucks, where the average age of the population is late 60s. There is NO ONE here my age. There is one person here I can talk to, and I feel she understands me, but she is VERY busy herself (she runs a chocolate/ice-cream shop and cafe in town - and she makes all the chocolates (with help from her son) but she makes the ice-cream herself (and you'd be surprised how many people want ice-cream, even in February). She makes the best hot choccie on the planet, but I digress... So I use Facebook, and that causes me all sorts of problems; and there is something which has happened today which has really shaken me and has made me take a long, hard, look at myself and I've realised that I don't know how to fix what I've broken (and I break a lot of things when it comes to people and friendships) but I care about this lass very much, and I want to find a way to fix what I've destroyed (if, indeed, it is fixable). The problem is that because I can't see what's going on in the other person's world, I can't empathise and visualise what might be going on; this leads me to believe that they're ignoring me and, rather than acting like a 36-year-old woman, I explode at them and, this time, I posted something really nasty on her wall, which has led (unsurprisingly) to her blowing me out. How do I work on this...? How do I change this...? I don't want this to sound like an excuse, but there is so much crashing down on me at the moment, that I'm just SCREAMING at the world. I've got this thing screaming in my head "WHY ME...?! WTF ME...?!" I've not left the house in 8 weeks (except to go to the doc's, and once I managed to get out to my friend's cafe at the weekend but, now, I'm not even able to squeeze into those clothes). I'm finding this very frightening and scary, and there's so much going round in my head - questions with no answers: - "Is it what I'm eating...?" but I've been eating the same things ad nauseam et ad infinitum, since going low carb 3 years ago, so if I was going to have a reaction, surely it should have manifested itself before now...?! "Is it PCOS related...?" but if it was, why am I having so much trouble, erm, emptying my bowels? I went to the doc's the other day in my PJs (but I'd warned her I would turn up like that) but it was the looks and comments I got as I was walking through Chalfont St. Peter afterwards was the final straw. Didn't help that it was C3 chucking out time (C3 is a localism for the local comprehensive - Chalfonts Community College) and the abuse I had hurled at me by a gang of Year 9/10 girls that I had to run (well as much as I'm able these days) round the corner into the Memorial Garden. I had over an hour to kill before the bus back. I have to go back there on Tuesday to get bled at the hospital; thankfully, it's in the morning so the little sh*ts will still be in lessons. I'm not very good with needles, but I'm getting braver, provided it doesn't go on too long; thing is, the list of things I'm to be tested for runs to about 20, so how many phials that's going to be, I really dread to think! I've then got to go for a smear on the 1st and, somewhere in between (not got the appointment through yet) I've got to go for an ultrasound somewhere the other side of Wycombe (bus, train, taxi - this is really adding up cost-wise). Why can't it be at the hospital...? There's a bus which goes directly from the station to the entrance! Sick of all this stuff being farmed out! Sorry this has gone OT again! Of COURSE I will apologise to her but, if she doesn't reply, I can see it happening all over again. If I don't know, because people don't TELL ME, then I simply think the worst of people. How do I explain myself to her...? I don't want to be seen as purely evil, (as my dear mother always used to point out to me - my name is very nearly 'harass' spelt backwards. I used to think it was just a coincidence, now I'm not so sure...). This is the one thing I have MASSIVE problems with, visualising what's going on in someone else's world if they don't explain things to me. I always think I've said something to upset them, which is why I start with the well, harassment, for lack of a better word. I always think I've said something evil, so I end up BEING evil, does that make sense...? How do I apologise to her and, at the same time, explain why I am like I am (without it sounding like I'm making excuses for what I've said/done)...? I reckon the isolation's getting to me now, too. Eight weeks without human contact (well almost!) I think would be enough to cause anyone to go stir crazy! I'm also in quite a deal of pain at the moment, which doesn't help matters... As a final note, I learnt what I've been labelled with in the past (some of which I didn't even know about!) Borderline Personality Disorder (this I did know about) Schizoaffective Disorder (knew nothing about this) Paranoid Personality Disorder Schizoid Personality Disorder Schizotypal Personality Disorder Dependent Personality Disorder The only ones I knew about are: - BPD, PPD, DPD. The rest were new ones on me, but I can easily see why I could be seen as being any one of them... Could any of them be mistaken for an ASC, or vice versa...? I'm confused now, I don't really know who - or what - I am anymore. Sorry this is so long, but I'm seeking answers. I'm feeling very lonely and isolated at the moment, and this exacerbates this behaviour. It's a vicious cycle and I don't know how to break it. This is why I'm here, looking for guidance, for answers, for solutions... Hugs, <'> Sarah xxx

Kathy-Anne, It's been misspelt - it's OAASIS and it's the Office (for) Advice, Assistance (and) Support In Special (Needs) and their website can be found here Hope that helps, Sarah xxx

I've not read all this - if I did my, rather fragile, head would explode. I don't know what's wrong with me (only that I'm not NT... ). I've been told, by a professional and by two acquaintances (the first of whom has an elder son who has LFA, and a younger with AS; and the second whose elder son has ADHD and younger, AS) that I'm definitely spectrum and, although 2 of the opinions are lay, they do have experience in recognising the signs... I would never DREAM of applying a label to myself just for the sake of it - do I have AS, I've not the foggiest... but I've been told it's the most likely thing... This is me, I'm just me. I don't know who I am, or what I am, I'm just me. Does that make sense...? Sarah xxx

As the others have said, unless he cannot physically walk, he won't get HRM. I have a friend, with premature-onset osteoarthritis and, because she can still walk the dogs 500 yards, she doesn't qualify for HRM (even though she's practically wheelchair-bound 95% of the time; though she wouldn't be if she lost half of herself, but that's a bit of a catch-22, sadly (and before anyone says that's me being mean her retort to anyone calling her a "fat b**ch", or similar, is "It's morbidly obese, b**ch, dear - get it right!" so she's fully aware that she should be nearer to 10 stone than 22, but I can't see it happening, sadly... ) I think the criterion appears to be that you have to be practically quadriplegic to qualify.