bewildered and overwhelmed

We have a trampoline in the back garden...... however we have a garden full of trees and I have an OH who is obsessive about the leaves falling on the trampoline so it has been covered all winter. It was released today! I am looking into getting a rebounder for inside so he can leap and bounce inside. (I like to bounce too...... the more I investigate ASDs the more I am beignning to think I have traits too! I do think there are sensory issues for my son and I think I have sensory issues too (noise being one.... my parents are both musicians and music teachers and as a child the lessons they taught at home were awful for me as wrong notes really upset me and at work if the kids are playing the recorder in assembly I have to have 'urgent' admin to do as I really cannot tolerate it!) His emotional development has always been behind his intellectual development, bless his cotton socks!

Hi all, Just to update. Things went pear shaped at school recently with at least 3 meltdowns a day! We now have a home school diary and several strategies in place at school.... he has cards with colours on so he can indicate his levels of stress ie green is happy and OK, orange means he is getting stressed and can get a book and go into a quiet area and red means he's about to lose it so he can go to the office where he has headphones and a 'project' he has chosen. He gets stickers in his home school diary for each calm session and we have a reward system at home that rewards making the right choice at school.... so if he chooses to go to the office because he is about to flip that's making the right choice...... School have done some observations and have noticed that noise and children crowding round him are triggers (well duh! I told them that when he started school!) and have arranged for him to do an exercise session first thing in the morning so his transition into school doesn't involve crowds. He also has a table on his own. I'm thinking of seeing if he would like ear defenders for a noisy classroom..... We saw the GP and are now waiting to hear from the community paed........ I spent a small frotune on things he could squash and sqeeze when stressed but he chose to throw them at people instead!! I am also working on OH to agree with me that I need to reduce my work hours to part time.......... I have appreciated the support here, Thank you

Thank you for all your replies. After posting I had a meeting with his teacher and things are getting out of hand at school. He is 'losing it' on a regular basis.... things don't go his way, or he is told off or a child annoys him and he goes into meltdown. He then takes about 45 minutes to calm down form the tantrum and become distraught and then the tears last about another 45 mins! I made an appointment with my GP and he has referred us to the community paed for an assessment. We have started a home school diary so we have some evidence and back up and I have started a diary to keep a track of what he eats, what he does and how he behaves. He's just so flumming stubborn! Anyway, thank you! My GP was great re the parenting thing..... he said my daughter would be the same if I was not parenting to the best of my ability and she's nothing like her brother...

At school he's performing way above his age in reading and maths especially. At nursery he had an IEP for behaviour but once he went to school they deemed it was not needed. He struggles to conform at times but they have no huge concern with his behaviour.... he gets a bit wound up at times but is sent to calm down with a teddy. Today he 'kicked off' at after school club and the leader mentioned that the teacher has put him on a 'being good' chart but I've not been told about it. I've got Parents' evening next week so I shall have a chat then.... Thanks for the replies.

Hi, I'm new to the forum, I was sent over here by a friend as they thought I might get some answers ans perspectives on my ramblings! I have worries about my 6 yo son. I've had them since I was pregnant with him if I'm honest! A bit of background: My husband is an astoundingly intelligent man with a great many ASD traits (I'm a teacher and have taught several children with a diagnosis and, being me, and wanting to do a good job, I've done a lot of reading and seeking of advice) and he comes from a family where ALL of them, I suspect, are somewhere on the spectrum with the eldest being unable to live independently..... rigid thinking, inability to cope with change, all 4 of them raised in a 2 bedroomed house because my FIL hates change, (I don't want to sound disrespectful, I'm trying to show why I believe they are an 'ASD family'). My father is also a scarily intelligent man with a great line in rigid thinking etc etc etc. (TBH I could add myself to the list as well) So, my biggest fear while pg was that my child would be ASD (sorry but it was) My son is a very very intelligent little boy, he talked early, proper conversations, he was reading, self taught, by the age of 3 and understanding what he read too, what he doesn't know about whales, dolphins and sharks just isn't worth knowing (lol!). He is large for his age and that, coupled with his speech, actually led to him ahving problems at nursery (I work full time) where they would expect him to be much more mature emotionally than he is. He is very rule based and likes to follow the rules, games have to be played his way, he expects me to be able to read his mind....... He has the most stonking temper tantrums that last for hours and he is often violent with me, hitting me and biting me if I restrain him. He makes plans in his head for the way things will go ie he sees a toy he likes, plans how he will play with it and then asks if he can have it, when the answer is no we get meltdown... (my dad solved this one for us and we were then able to ask my son who confirmed it)..... he hates change, new things, he's very direct and abrupt...... He does have a problem with his blood sugar levels, if they fall too low he becomes hyperactive and agitated as well as irrational and violent.... this is diagnosed and we have seen a dietician who has helped us with a regular plan of snacks and meals.... He doesn't have one particular obsession but his obsession is completeness..... if he gets a book and there are others in the series he will go on and on about getting the rest of the books, if a toy is part of a series of toys then he obsesses about getting the rest ( we have wooden Thomas trains, Plastic Thomas trains, metal Thomas trains........) I'm not sure he totally understands teasing, he always checks we are teasing.. He refuses to wear his school jumper as he hates the cuffs and he gets too hot He is NEVER still unless he is asleep! He is loving and kind and funny, makes eye contact, loves cuddles, adores his little sister Today we were visiting friends and he was nervous but on arrival he launched into a description of his holiday .... the friend said he seemed very confident but I suspect it was a coping strategy... I have sought help with his tantrums etc but as they really began just after my daughter was born (he was nearly 3) and I had mild PND it was attributed to poor and inconsistent parenting and I was sent on parenting courses where they told me that No should mean no (it does and always has) and to hold firm and he would get the message! He doesn't get consequences at all..... he will do some thing and I will give him a warning, he will repeat it and the consequence is carried through and it is as if it is the end of the world. He hates being sent to his room and if I shut him in I have to hold the door closed but if I do that he will throw himself at the door! I have read book after book, I doubt my parenting skills all the time, but I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that he needs a diagnosis....... Or may be I'm just rubbish? Sorry that was a long ramble!