lisa35

Can anyoe please help, my 16 year old has tourettes/aspergers having very stressful time at school at moment, just before end of term was out of school for 6 weeks, becomes angry very quickly and hits out/threw a chair is seeing pychiatrist/counselling, and identified that has minimal emotional language, so goes from calm to angry in split second(which we did know but is difficult to hear from others!) made suggestions such as emotions thermometer and some way to identify for him self whan he is getting out of control Difficulty is, he is 16, and doesnt want to seem different, and is very high functioning in some ways. Really need some practical tips, as we re scared he will be permamnenlty excluded, obviuosly the counselling, etc, will help longer term, but we need something asap He is currently having some lessons out of class to reduce stress and gets help with home work, etc The pysciatrist said when he says he cant remember things/episodes this is genuine, but they re not sure if due to high anxiety or something else He has had just 3 sessions with counsellor sorry bit garbled, but tired, and concerned xx I wondered about something like a rubber band on wrist (but d probably flick at some one!) so he could snap it if began to get cross, so would distract and give time to think! thanks

Hi, our son is 15 and has diagnosis of Aspergers/Tourettes The tics are severe at present-several facial grimaces, movement of his arm and a grunting noise, he is struggling so much and his outbursts in class are out of control because he is so stressed. things are at crisis stage, no loner managing in lessons, urgent counselling is arranged. to cut a long story short he wants to try risperidone , has anyone any experiance of this, I know potential side effects, but he is desperate Please tell me these teenage years get better, hubby and I up til 0400 this am talking as its the only chance we get Hes awake til 1130 most nights and with us 24/7-apart from school Thanks Lisa x

Hi Stella, our 14 yr old son has Aspergers- we re waiting for further review-probable tourettes, the tics wax and wane, change, very typical of tourettes, some are unnoticable-some not, at mo, he occsasionally spits to one side,,if that makes any sense?! worse when tired oranxiuos-have you found anything helps your son, did you find it worse as teenager? watched documentary a while ago and suppose bit worried it may get worse wouldnt be keen on medication-but end of theday this would be our sons decsion thanks Lisa

thanks all, feel better now, just guilty, we re going to all go out some where nice for the day and break cycle of us all being ratty he goes to explorers, so we get a couple of hours one night a week ,a and maybe a camp soon, so a night off, hes not a bad lad, just tiring at times...you know how it is, if you dont feel 101% it feels like a mountainx and so intense, has friends, but theyre at school, just sees them there, its about 12 miles, but we have offered to take him to friiends, think he likes our company, just bit stifling xx xxxx

help...having a abad night, and want to ask are kids with aspergers a 1000000% times harder than nt teenagers!? Feel such a failure toight , i lost it, its like a roundabout that just keeps on and on from minute hes up Im nagging, and I should ve stayed calmtonight, but tired hubbie and I have an hout and half on a night , once he goes to bed and Im beginning to resent son, which iis an awful thing to say because I love him so much Im also vvvv proud as hes doing so well in his school with asd unit, a year ago he wasnt even really in school we re waiting for cahms review as we now, and school also, suspect may have tourettes everything is so full on all the time, cant even watach a tv programme with constant questions, and sad thing is I know why hes like this, yet I still resent it!? What sort of mum does that make me! rant over i knw there are no answers, just needed to offload to people that know, and noone else really does xx

my son is 13, and has in pst had intermittent facial/vocal tics that seemed to come and go however at mo, they are quite bad, he makes a "gulping" noise and kind of grimaces, bearing his teeth he s not overly anxious/ tired, or any of the things that make them worse we try to ignore it, and I asked if he does it at school, and he said he tries not to Im concerned as to why its worse just now, we wondered if its due to his age seems to be growth spurt just now Has anyone else found these tics enscalating during adolscence, did they calm down again, and is there anything we could do to reduce them? hate to think he will be an adult , and worried kids will tease , although he is at mainstream with asd unit, so are pretty good thanks Lisa

thanks, this lad is his only friend, who doesnt see him much, sports bottle is a brill idea!

thanks x made me smile x he has stayed before, a while ago, just need to not allow our hearts to over ride our heads! some times, i forget that we are so different x

ok, son changed school in october, is settling ok now, but has been tricky as he missed old school, as we know kids with aspergers do change badly! But he had to go to a school with as d unit attached he had one friend at old school, who every time hes rung has been busy,etc, anyway he rang yesterday and the lad came over Our son wanted him to sleep, so we said yes, friends dad dropped his bedding off last nigh tand didnt even come in to say night to him, or to speak to him, is this "normal" for parents of 13 year old, I dont know because our lives are so very very different? Also today , he stayed with us til 1700 (from 1400 yesterday) , would nt you think parents wouldve rung to say to us are you sure hes ok to sleep, to stay so long ,etc?! Anyway, because our son was so hyper as friend was here we have gone on at him, nagged constantly, and feel like we ve had a rotten weekend cos we ve had to be at him all the time to top it off today, he spilt lemnade on laptop(its 3 months old, ) and did same to last one, but we claimed on our house insurance We flipped,as we ve told him so many times about drinks near it, and all this was in front of his friend, our son had total meltdown ,swearing, said he wished we were dead, etc so now its sunday night, all calm now, but just feel like its been a acrappy weekend, and we shouldve intervened and not had his friend for so long, as he cant cope, even though he loves him being here. in fact , since october, he hasnt seen other kids at all at a wekend, and now I feel guilty, for everythinG! Sorry sometimes it feels overwhelming, x

Mumble, Ive thought that too, he says i love you (many times!)when hes doing something he enjoys, ie flight simulator, and i often say I know you do, but you re also saying it because you re feeling happy and relaxed!

son moved schools in october, he is 13, dianosed as last april, now has full statement, new school is brilliant, he s finding it hard to make the change, he says he likes it, had just one "friend" before he moved, who he now says we ve taken him away from, point of matter is this boy didnt really go out of his way to spend time with our son, and alwys was him that contacted him. hes sobbed tonight, says none of the kids in new school talk to him, i know the kids that use the asd attached unit do cos hes mentioned them he is so much more relaxed generally, is back in all his lessons, and we dont get constant calls from school. hes also finding it hard to undestand diagnosis, even thugh we ve always been positive and open about autism, school are going to work with him on this, and other issues as he has gott o 13 without diagnosis, so missed a lot of potential years that could have had interventions I guess Im just feeling a bit low and helpless, all these years we ve struggled, Ive tried so hard with social stroies, the books, anything we can, because we knew what his diagnosis was before they actaully sat up and listened. last year was such a battle, what if ive made his behaviuors worse, and cnfused him more by trying to explan things, at the end of the day Im his mum, not an educational psychlogist, or autism outreach he swings from telling us he hates us t telling us hes sorry, and loves us I so wish I could take this away for him, at times like this, and make him feel happy and have friends, he has not seen any kids over the christmas hols. sat here like a wuss crying, hes still awake, and will be shattered tomorow. just want a happy son, his dad and i try so hard, and now we re argiung because we re shattered. not often I feel like this, but tonight I dont like autism, at all

fab xxxx

thanks Cat, so true, to be honest, he now attends school, and manages there, so day to day for him must be so hard He isnt like other 13 year olds, maybe I was just feeling ita abit more as I see his peer group changing, I love him just the way it is! I guess he may catch up, and maybe he wont, or it ll just be different x hes doing fab anyway, just to survive school and all he copes with x

Mellow.one thing we did do was compile a list of things for him to do, so when he said what can I do we used to send him off to look at it, had stuff on like look up weird animals on internet, find out 20 different trees, make a lego garage not sureif any help, also tried pictures/visual prompts for stuff like getting a bath, but he says he s not stupid, aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

think maybe will have to toughen up, as I speak hes saying to me Im bored,,,what can I do! If i didnt tell him when to eat he would just eat biscuits, gss cos prompting all the time, even getting in the bath end up sitting there telling him what to wash! hoping that the provision at school will work with social stuff, I know they re starting as speech and language therapy is in his staement, as is occupational therapy. hard cos he got to 12 before diagnosis or statement, so we ve just tried our best, am going to ask OT about ways of making him more independant he nearly threw a mental when I dare even suggest something like air cadets! thing is how will he knows unless tries,s if hated it we wouldnt make him continue seems as getting older more and more relucatnt to socialise, ah well, least we know we re not alone x

thanks all, maybe beinga bit selfish, the time out would be nic sometimes, guess ust feel it a alot cos al stuck together cos of christmas hols! Im glad hes not hanging round street corners and up to mischief xxxx

thanks, im not sure he would go with anyone! and true about what hes been through, was in mainsream, the new school is mainstream, which specialist provision, and hes back in all lessons, at other school he was totally isolated, couldnt even go out at break times, was much more sociable before all the school stress maybe try and find a group to do with planes!

hi, my son is 13, and just changed schools 4 weeks pre christmas break, he had one boy from the new school for a couple of hours ;last week, but has no mates , and I mean none he spends 24/ 7 with his dad and I , and seems to want to spend less and less time amongst people although this could be "normal " for a 13 year old. Thing is, its exhausting, his latest obsession is flight simulators, and he constantly wants to share what hes doing with us, obviuosly what a 13 year old wants to do and talk about is not same as us old fogies! He says hes not lonely, but he must know that other kids his age hang out and do stuff, at this stage i dont see how he ll ever be apart from us and do things independantly from us He does belong to scouts, but missed several meetings as he was overly stressed from starting the new school, he just seems to becoming less socaible as time goes on at one stage he even used to go on scout camp, but then he didnt want to go as he didnt want to sleep away from home, so we arranged so he could go just in the day But graduallly he s doing less , infact, apart from school, nothing away from us xx

what about pet-african land snail, easy pets to keep, only cost about a pound, and only eat cucumber, and amazingly relaxing and easy to keep xx

Hi Vicky, we had diagnosis, April this year, aftera hard battle I too felt awful, even tho was what we wanted, in fact to some extent I worried Id "made" them diagnosis him, as it was our second assessment I almost "tailored" our parental evidence to make them see But now, I so know we were right, and he deffos is aspergerish! It becomes more obvious ashe gets older, and you settle into it all Our son is 13 now, you really need the diagnosis to get support, since we have it, he has a statement, and we re moving him to a school with specialist provision, it has been positive for us just at first its all a bit weird xxx

planes...and planes.... aircraft investigators,,,,and ....planes!

have you got a date yet>? We still havent, not long hopefully, You must be nervous, we re "only"changing schools, thats 12 miles away and Im starting to fret! xxx

acccccccccccccccccccccccccce Js mum, we should have a start date soon ,it sounds crazy to those who dont understand, but now we have the palcement at the school that can meet our sons needs, he seems to "be coming " bcak to us, this will change his life, I just know it, it means he now has a chance, and we can all be happy well done to you, anyone going through same, fight and fight, they dont deserve second best, ever xxx

ditto to Diane, we re just waitinfg to move our 13 year old to a school, with specialist provision, he is also very intelligent, one of the schools we looked at would not have been suitable, but one we going to is, you have to know questions to ask, and go along and look xxx Lisa

thanks all, hopefully tomorrow we get some answers as the lea are really stressing us with school provision xxxxx