lisa35

how specific should this be, in relation to the Cumminicaton aspect Im worrying cos we ve signed and now worried its too vague, the lea are saying that the school dont need extra funding for the speech and language tehrapy It says- A structured programme,developed in collaberation with Speech Therapist to dvelop expressive/receptive communication Small group and 1;1 activities to develop pragmatics of language small group activities to develop/ practice sociall communication skills positive models of successful/social communication LThanks Lisa

so isolated, we dont see any "adults" to socialise, at the moment all our time is spent fighting with the LEA, and feel like we re just about keeping our heads above water feel like Im drowning in "autism", dont get me wrong I love my son so much, but we eat, breath and sleep it, friends dont really understand, hubby and I havent been out since July, in fact I bet we manage 3-4 nights a year, he is 13! at mo too, even with a baby sitter , its so disruptive for our son, it makes life a lot harder, this is due to all the stresses of school and whats going on H e goes to Scouts, so wegeta few hours a week, but he never on and off cant cope with that, again because of his anxiety In fact, we dont have any friends! Just feeling sorry for myself xx

thanks, not thinking very straight at mo x

It just says Band B, not specific, but we ve signed and agreed to draft statement, damn, if only we had hindsight

godam lea, I was told yesterday by our education officer that the school we named in statement was the school we can have. Its a designated provision- there are two in authority -one is awful(and chock a block anyway) The school we want had said they would take our son if extra funding from lea was given for speech and language therapies. Even though they are over subscribed Anway, spoke to school we want today , and apparently at panel meeting the panel said the school should take him and cant have extra funding Im so livid, the officer didnt tell me this, according to the school we want nothing is finalised, and they havent been given the same info we have Whats even more unreal is that his current school were told by the officer the same as hes told me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont believe it, Im despairing.................none of us, or the schools could get hold of any one today............every one is livid Whast more we ve had our son off curriculum, having hit and miss lessons with TA supprt in senco room, for past 10 months We are writing a formal complaint to the senior sen officer- and do not want the current sen officer to continue working with us- The school havent asked for the earth- just stated Speech and language provision to meet his needs- didnt quantify it- but the lead of the provision told mme it would roughly be 1-2 hrs a week for him, they currently have half day for 12 kids- and are struggling to maintain the brilliant set up they have Its also been 10 weeks since we had draft statement issued- which we will enforce on monday Has anyone any idea of following? Can lea insist that the school take him (without the extra funding?) Could the school then refuse- on grounds that his placement will intefer with existing childrens education (they are over subscribed) I note in Education Regulations it says lea or the school can only refuse on grounds that they are unable to make "reasonable" interventions to prevent his placement intefering- surely extra speech therapy is"reasonable" If the school declined, on the grounds of lack of funding- could we take it to tribunal and obtain the speech and lang service funding- after all, surely SENDIST would agree that this funding is a reasonable adjustment?? The lea have also written to two other specialist provisions (outside authority)- neither of which we feel are suitable- and surely this is last resort for them!? Witty.....needs words of wisdom xx

thank you all, my sanity over past few months xxxxxxx

thankyou, off for nice bottle of Blossom Hill now!

we got the school we wanted! I can hardly believe it, the lea made us sweat a few weeks, wrangling, but we ve got it! Our son has been out of classes and not accessed school curriculum for the last 12 months really. This has the potential to change our lives, the school has a brilliant designated specialist provision, the teaching staff are wonderful, he will now be able to be our fantastic son before all this horrific stress that mainstream has put him through, and I just know he will now shine To anyone else struggling keep going, god knows the lea know my other half and I by first names, ring them, daily if you have to, be a pest, infact, dont ever trust the lea, cynical, moi? Yes! you should be, they made out is was the school ,but I liased with the school, its wasnt, it all boils down to money At the end of the day we desrve the best , so do all our kids Lisaxxxx

It may be that the lea will not agree to the school we have named in part 4 of our statement, if we go to appeal would we have legal costs to pay? Thanks Lisa

thing is, we ve managed for so long, I never realy realised how"hard" others would perceive it, if that makes sense, I think we play it down cos its all we know, I do love him, just I need every ounce of my strength at moment, think Ineed bit of time out to recharge, but cant because he needs us more than ever now. At least the school are supporting us xxx feel so isolated, not many parents you can tell, hey ho my son chucked a fire extinguisher today............. i also work, and dont want to not work.............................xxx

thanks xxx

well. at least it wasnt throwing a fire extinguisher this time, feeling rather useless, as its in the hands of the new school/lea , who should decide v soon if will go there

thanks, well, gets better today had a call from senco at school-hes off time table at mo, but had been enjoying games, so they decided would be good for him to do pe However, he lost school bag last week, has no timetable, so didnt know had pe today they wanted to lend him kit- he wanted to wear it over his school shirt(any clues why!???? germ phobia.....and thought of wearing some one elses kit.....tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...he threw a wobbler Poor games teacher scared he was going to run out of the hall into road, and had to restrain him.................tada............kicks off more Now in isolation unit, its only safe place for him until we get placement. They dont want to permanantly exclude him as we re just about getting him into school at present............if excluded it ll destroy him,,,and hed only get an hour a day home tuition This is a nightmare, and at least we have possible place at asd unit, god knows what other parents are going through Im sure prisoners arent put in isolation in this way, the sytem sucks, I dont blame the senco , she is with us 100% Truth is, he will never suvive in mainstream, and there must be so many kids just like him Please let this be over soon, for all our mentalhealth xxxx

thanks all Mel, that really makes a lot of sense and I suppose right now may be a bad time to have more expectations of him, none of us know whats happening with school, so makes sense that he s more controlling, in fact I think its the worst its ever ever been I feel so useless, wish I didnt resent him, and theres so few fun times at mo, i just feel sick to pit of my stomach of another week waiting, our lives are in limboxxx

how on earth will I ever get my 13 year old son to bath himself, and get dressed in a morning withoout me stood in the room, telling him step by step We ve tried so much, charts, bribery, pictures, tick charts, feel such a failure really its laughable, I can still see me doing this when hes 19, fed up Doesnt help that we re all on egg shells waiting to see if the school we ve requested in his statement will be named, the school have asked for extra funding for occ therapy and speech and language, I just feel so hopless, i know its probably only going to be weeks now, but god its been such a year we have had a year of battles, first for his diagnosis, then statement, now the las t bits are dragging Hes basically had a year where he hasnt had the same education as the other kids I feel like i resenet him today, all I want him to do is get a bath, is that so unreasonable, Im not asking for a miracle, or maybe I am I know he doesnt do it intentionally, but wehnever we try and find ways to help him the barriers are up, I feel like he doesnt help himself Sorry for moan, just finding it all consuming today, our lives 100% revolve around what he needs and wants, and he seems to be getting more and more controlling I know this is due to school, etc, just want adolescence over with, its never ending xx

hi,ditto autism outreach truly saved our sanity, the particular person we have is fantastic and I was amazed by what the name"autism" opened up to us But thats considering we d coped with his behaviour on our own for 12 and half years We almost resented any advice because we d fought so hard and struggled if that makes sense? Ask if theres a cygnet group running, Im not sure if thats specific to our area, but is a six week course, looks at asd and manging things. cahms useless. I have no confidence in them at all. they say asds arent "mental" health, but its neurological condition,yet they diagnose!? Bu t then say cant help more cos its not mental health!!!!!!! see if you can have referral to occupational therapy-they cn help with organisation, school,etc, -Id ring the local hospital before you ask for referral and see what they have, before your gp could fob you off. it really seems to be what ever you want you have to go out and get.... tt this time last year we had no formal diagnosis, and the last year has been battle after battle we got diagnosis in april-aspergers, now have statement, he needs specialsit provision in a school with asd unit we re just waiting for the wranglings between the school and lea to see if they lll agree-they want extra funding as there are no places. so it never stops! Feel autismed out, but if we dont give it %100 now the consequences are to great for our kids go out and annoy, harrass, get what your kids need! xxxx

[ yes ,yes and yes! We ve tried all sorts, post its, diaries, you name it Id be grateful if any one any ideas we re on third lot of house keys (he is 13), Lisa

[ hi, hoping to know within days, problems will be if we go to appeal, then that ll be a considertaion, but.................both work.........full time.....................may end up losing job x

currently awaiting a decision as to whether the school wec want will accept our son, they have a designated provision for kids with autsim/aspergers should know v v v soon, cant even think straight at mo, my head is masshed Hes still in current school, well, he s s going, on Friday he threw a fire extinguisher, he is so stressed its untrue, and has an internal exclusion for two days, then he s spending time in senco room But not really doing "lessons" as such, the episode friday was a result of the evening before when a couple of kids had been getting him to do stuff, and then film it on his phone, resulted in him being spat at and kicked I sshouldve rung school the next day to fore warn them, but I didnt, spose cos i feel like Im just constatnly at the school, and feel so guilty as he told the teacher at school he was angry because the boys got away with it But he refused to let me ring the parents so now, its damage limitation, protecting him from the rest of the kids, til we can get him moved God knows what will happen if we dont get the place, Im scared he will hurt hilself or someoen else, and it wont be intentional, for him its survival feel like we re so helpless, just hope its a matter of weeks now, or seriosly will take him out of school, x

hi, my son too would ve gone crazy if restrained, think about it logically, you ve 3/4 large people holdoiing you, what would we do? Fight back, its fear Today , my son threw a fire extinguisher, we arew urgently awaiting placement in unit attached to a school , if they refuse the one want (should know next couple of days) we will withdraw him, someone will really end up hurt xxx my thoughts are with you ps when my son lost it today, the senco walked within distance, and allowed Joe to calm himself, she did not attempt to restrain , or even speak to him, this makes it worse I found a good article on this. Ill try to find it Lisa

thanks all, thing is, it was this evening when this happened with the phone He esperatley wants to be "in"with these kids, so was probly playing along, if that makes sense? But cos of his aspergers , didnt realise they were bullying ,they said things like if you do this.....we ll be your friend, they re ###### 12, old enough to know better He was so upset, because he really thought they were going to be his friend, it makes me feel sick, what on earth will they grow up to be

the new school has an autism unit, for hi functioning kids, and its wonderful,he would just flourish there

my son is 13,in mainstream,just we have a statement that identifies need for designated specialist provision there are no places in school we want him to go to., but the head of the dept has said they can kinda mess with the numbers so, she been to see him today, and is reporting back to her head to see if he ll agree the school can meet his needs Im fraught, waiting for phone to go, so in limbo, and poor son so confused Hes not even in classes at mo, and tonight, his uniform was covered in mud, and kids had been spitting at him Bets of all,these kids are the "cool" kids and they told me they were asking him to do stuff, like "moon" and theyd put it on their phones he didnt, but where the hell does these kids get off, they will grow up to be horrific, cruel people Not sure why Ive posted, just suppose this incident tonight just proves how much he needs specialist placement L x

warrenpenalver.help me understand, what will it probly be like for him cleening his teeth,and what can we do? x

we have had 10, 000000 toothbrushes----electric, baby, sensitive toothpaste, toothpaste you squirt, egg timers, fancy brushes, fruity toothpaste, no taste toothpaste..................................................ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, even one that plays we will rock you !