Ohforaquietlife

Hi Are there any other Elvis fans out there 30 years since his sad demise and I now find myself the same age as he was when he shuffled off. Eek! I was a huge fan in my youth and was in Memphis this time 20 years ago but find little time to listen to ANY music these days. Still I couldn't let the 30th anniversary pass un-noticed. Two of my best mates are outside Graceland now and I'm pig sick Would any of you like to remind us of a favourite song? I've tried to narrow it down to one but have failed miserably! Love, peace and Elvis Ohf!

Hi Shamu All we parents of a child that is 'different' know exactly how you feel. Although I felt a sense of relief to some extent when my son got his dx at 3 (because it proved my suspicions correct and meant I could no longer be labelled myself as just an 'over-anxious mummy', ) it was also the start of the long process of 'mourning' for the child you hoped you'd have and the easy life that would go with them Ha Ha! Six months is still very early days to be getting your head round the alternative route we are all taking. There are no shortcuts through the process but nor should there be. It takes time to work through each of the stages; grief, anger, why us? etc. but you will come out of the other side on to the path to acceptance although even then, at intervals, often when you least expect it, the difference will hit home and you'll probably need a good cry before you pick yourself up and battle on again. It's a fact that life isn't always comfortable with a child on the spectrum and you will probably find yourself comparing your lot unfavourably with your peers with NT children at times but in general, things will get better. Perhaps your child may always have difficulties but your ability to anticipate, avoid or cope with them will improve as you learn how he functions, what his triggers are, how best to communicate with him and so on. And the biggest help will be building a network of friends who can really appreciate what you go through on a daily basis. You don't say how old your son is. If he is pre-school age, now that he has a dx you should be able to access a place in a special-needs nursery if there is one in your area. You may not like the sound of that but it can be invaluable in helping your son to learn to communicate and learn all manner of skills that would be difficult or stressful for him in a mainstream setting. All the children will have difficulties of one kind or another so he would not be singled out; especially by the other parents. Mainstream playgroups can be a nightmare for the reasons others have described but I must say that my son, for all his apparent differences, was a lot better behaved than the vast majority of the NTs whose mothers tutted when L spoke at the wrong time or got in one of their precious's way It can also be a starting place for some long-lasting friendships. L happened to start nursery with a whirlwind called Ben who, unfortunately for me turned out to be 'son of Baddad' and I haven't been able to shake him off since! Only joking, we've been great mates for 7 years now and have helped each other through some really tough times, edited each others letters to the LEA and moaned on the phone for many hours. <'> Six months after diagnosis is also a good time to join an NAS 'EarlyBird' course if they run them near you. Loads of useful information and strategies and new friends. My group still meets about once a month for coffee 6 years after we completed the course! I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can get very depressed just staying at home and it is really important to get out - but perhaps not to places that are going to make you feel worse about your situation. You need the likes of us 'virtual' friends on here but you also badly need new 'real' ones to help you keep going. My son's 10 now and most days it's not so bad. He has enormous difficulties with communication in particular but as a family we just accept him for the lovely little chap that he undoubtably is. His sister's have never known anything different and get on with him great - on his terms of course! Get on to your health visitor or social worker and get them to help you to find your niche! <'> Ohf!

Hi We've got the Gameboy SP and the DS. I'd recommend getting a DS as games for both machines play on it. The Gameboy can't play the DS ones. In general, the Gameboy games are cheaper and less complicated and so are better for the less competent user - like me for instance! The DS games all involve managing two screens at once which can be more challenging but if you play a Gameboy SP game on it, then only one screen is used. If one of you is a real gamer, then the DS games will probably keep them interested for longer. If you get a DS, then everyone is able to use it no matter what their level of skill so everyone's happy! Hope that helps Ohf!

Sorry, finger twitched and I clicked twice!!!

'He looks normal to me' - well we all know how deceptive appearances can be. Just look at Baddad - he LOOKS normal

I put my re-claim in the post yesterday :groupwave: Best part of a weeks work as 5 years has gone by since I made the last one so quite a few changes needed. I too no longer had a copy of the last one as it was on the hard disk of my old computer which died and for some reason, I didn't seem to have a hard copy - maybe I lent it to someone? Anyway, I rang up the DLA people and they sent me a photocopy of the last form free of charge. It took a few weeks to come through but if you've got time to wait for it 'aro' then give them a call. It will save on brain power, if not on work as you'll still have to type it/ write it all out again! They're such a relief when they're finished, aren't they? Ohf!

That's great Hev but why so far away?! Devon is miles to come home every weekend. What's so specific about these schools that more local Kent ones can't provide? Just wondering as a fellow Kent resident! Ohf!

I know exactly how you feel. My son (ASD) did not have bowel problems as a baby but developed them later along with the ASD. My youngest, now 3.5, had bowel problems right from the word go - green mucusy poo which the doctor tried to convince me wasn't a problem but I knew it wasn't right even though it didn't seem to be affecting her weight. I eventually got her referred to a paed when she was about 8 months old. By then I was sure she had a problem with milk as she got much worse when I started to introduce fromage frais etc to her diet. The paed was lovely and agreed that this was probably her problem. He tested her for coeliac, crohns and antibodies to milk - all came back negative. We decided to switch her to a formula called Nutramigen which is actually derived from cows milk but has been broken down in such a way as to not cause a problem in most cases - avoids the soya as well which carries problems of it's own. She improved no end after that and at 3 is still drinking it - even though to the rest of us it tastes and smells disgusting! Eventually she had skin-prick tests and it turned out that she wasn't just intolerant to milk but allergic - even though the earlier blood tests had not picked this up. The good news is that her bowel is much improved and she shows no sigh of ASD. It is so hard not to worry but not every path leads inevitably to an ASD. My other daughter showed signs as a toddler but it turned out to be dyslexia and she is otherwise fine. Lots of these conditions are linked in some way it seems but are not all as devastating. <'> Ohf!

God, never rains but it pours for some, does it? Stay strong Hev. I really feel for you. <'> Ohf!

Hi Liz Firstly, I think an hour for the meeting is pretty standard so if there's lots you want to get in then it's worth writing it all down and getting it circulated before the meeting so that everyone is up to speed beforehand. I think you can pretty much submit what you like but at our son's school we are sent a form to help us containing the following questions: What educational progress have you seen over the year? Is there anything you are concerned about? How do you help your child at home? How do you and the school work together? What is your view about the support that your child receives? What would you like your child to be able to do next year? Is there anything else you would like to say? The child's views about how they are getting on should also be sought if possible. We are told that this form is just for guidance. I know that some of my fellow parents just write a report and don't use the form but I find it helpful when organising my thoughts on to paper! You need to think about progress in relation to the needs and objectives outlined in the statement. Have the child's needs changed in your opinion or are they the same but not being addressed by the current provision? Hope that helps a bit! Ohf!

Was that a spelling mistake. Did you mean to put that 'S' at the beginning?

Baddad Of course, he lives somewhere REALLY posh - but at the chav end!

Thanks guys. Just feeling quietly chuffed now - and slightly incredulous as I still can't really believe that we got what he needed.

As well as the 'severe mental impairment', the other thing that they seem to be looking for is the need for 'physical restraint' to ensure the child's safety or the safety of others. For example, I put in that I might have to physically restrain my son to stop him running into the road to get to something that interested him on the other side. Try to think of something relevant in your own case where you can include that phrase. It works. Ohf!

It'll all be crossed for both our boys. Go polish your light-saber badders. We might need those as well! Although on second thoughts, ManicMum's pen and library might be far more devastating.