dekra

It's mostly relief I feel. That I was right with my self diagnosis - I was obsessed with knowing for sure so I don't have the plaguing my mind. Ironically uni aren't giving my any more support. They already put into place what I needed when my depression reassertion itself badly over the last year. And they have been very good. Small groups for some classes rather than 100+ ( or 170+ like some in first year when the mental health students were with us). I also get to do exams in a desperate room. I could have had my own room but I was happy to be in small group (up to 5). I get to word process exams rather than hand write and I get 25% extra time. Although my asd wasn't diagnosed my depression was and my social anxiety was a clear influence on the depression. Other than the relief I sort of feel a bit flat. Getting the dx was huge for me and not many people know about it and those that do mostly don't get the significance so it's a bit of an anticlimax there. I'm not shouting my dx from the rafters but I'm not advertising it either. My hubby and mum know and a couple of others, it shall stay that way. I know my aunts and cousins will dismiss it saying oh everyone has difficulties like that. And in a way I can see their point - a lot of members of my family have various traits. I just seem to have gotten more than my fair share of them.

If you can cope with the group of strangers then why not? Sounds enjoyable and a free lunch. Also sounds like the kind of activities where you can get lost in the activity. Lunch might be torture though if you are expected to socialise.

Saw the clinical psychologist again today and I do have AS. It's not official until she has completed her report but that is my dx. I feel a sense of freedom, of vindication, of relief.

With DSM V now published (I think) if I get a diagnosis in the next few weeks will it be AS or HFA I'd be diagnosed with?

I see the psychiatrist again for my second session with her tomorrow. I have the questionnaires filled in by my husband and mum ready and looking at their answers there aren't a lot of areas there isn't at least something relevant in it. I feel quite eager to get to there and unload all these things that have bottled up for years and not be thought crazy. Feeling positive for an eventual diagnosis.

What I like about this post is not just the benefit Glen must be getting in his new home but the evident relaxation in you Jeanne.

Just catching up on some older posts. Think it was April I last read this and it's interesting to see you are now waiting on assessment over multiple session. I had my first session for my assessment last week and my next is coming up in a few days. As previously said by another poster the lady doing my assessment will look at differential diagnosis also but after the first session AS is definitely looking likely. I have waited a long time for this assessment as the first time I asked my gp reluctantly referred me but this was refused as the service did not do stand alone assessments. It was only in October when I finally saw gp regarding my depression having gotten out of hand that I got a community mental health team referral which eventually had me put on the list for assessment. I found the AAA test online that combines AQ EQ and relatives questions and it definitely puts me within diagnostic zone so we shall see how things go next week when I return and take my husbands and mums questionnaires back with me. Have you been told how long the waiting list for assessment is?

Glad to see the transition to adult services and the move seems to have went well.

As the topic says I've not been on the forum for a while. We moved back to our 2 bedroom home a few months ago as my son's night terrors seem to have subsided. He still sleeps very badly but he doesn't scream and yell like he did so his sister can share with him now. Also he can be trusted not to hurt her (or at least not badly as she's able to fight back). We feel them sharing is actually doing him the world of good and he is less isolated. The neighbours children he plays with and although there is still not any imaginative play they do like to play on bikes/scooters/xbox/ipad together and my son will ask to go out to play with them. HUGE HUGE step forward. School is going ok - not perfect and he's not happy going to school but is fine once he gets there (seems more to be an issue of reluctance to leave the xbox/ipad then anything else although he tells me he doesn't like the boys and girls). Language wise he has come on very well and he has basic functional language skills. He can even have a simple conversation with you - as long as it's something he wants to talk about. If he's not interested he'll just not look at you and ignore you. One of the reasons for moving home once things had settled down was my own discomfort in the new house. It never felt like home and I was not comfortable there. So happy to be back where I feel relaxed and happy. We now have the luxury of time to convert our loft into a third bedroom over the next year or so and have the wheels in motion for this. Yesterday I finally had my first appointment with the clinical psychologist for an AS assessment. We had well over an hour and only scratched the surface of things. She said I certainly do have a lot of indicators for a diagnosis of AS but she's not making a dx as yet. I have to see her for a few more sessions and also my mum and husband have forms to fill in. She will then prepare her report. All in all things are good for us at the moment, hope most of you can say the same.

I spoke to the SALT at his unit in person today (I made a mistake it was the special needs teacher I spoke to on the phone yesterday) and she said I should go visit it and see what I think. Her opinion is yes the integration between mainstream and unit would be good for Finn but the progress he has made recently may make him more advanced than most of the pupils in the unit who are in the main "very" autistic in their traits and that it may be detremental to his learning to be with a group of children with less skills than he has. He is betwixt and between. Assuming he ISNT on the spectrum as his dx's at the moment reflect then he certainly isn't NT either. The SALT herself suggested retesting him and will be doing that shortly and I have to talk to the Edu Psy tomorrow or Monday and take it from there. I do like what Justine said about his current level of support being responsible for his improvement and to reduce that level of input by putting him in the wrong environment would stop/reduce/revert his progress.

My 5 year old son (dx with language disorder and developmental delay) has progressed really well over the last few months. He now has very good (for him) expressive language skills, can make sentences and make his basic needs understood although he has no comprension of a conversation. His receptive language skills are still very very bad however and although he is doing well at school in things like maths he struggles to to understand a lot of what he is told so his interaction with the curriculum is limited. On a personal level he does now for the first time ever have a "friend" near what you and I would describe as a friend ie someone he wants to see and asks for if they are not about. This little boy is 11 days younger than him and has a dx of ASD. The boys have very similar troubles (although I do admit his friend is much worse behaviour wise although I'd say he has slightly better language skills than my son), his mum and I have become friends (something not easy for me) and our younger daughters are only 10 months appart also and have become friends too. Both boys attend a special language unit 4 afternoons a week together. As the easter holidays approach the language unit will be cutting my son (and his friend) down to 2 afternoons per week to gently break them into reduced input from the unit as when they start primary 2 in August they won't be going at all. I don't believe my son will thrive in mainstream school without the imput of the language unit however but after p1 that's it for them so I have been looking into what else is available in our area. There is another primary school about 12 miles away that although is a main stream school has a special language/communication unit within the school. Children within the unit are partially integrated within the main school but still have the benefit of the unit so it's the best of both worlds as far as I can see and I want my son to go there. The only problem is a lot of people including his specialist SALT and community paed think his language skills have come on so well and the places are very very limited at the specialist unit that he won't get a place. I on the otherhand think he would thrive in that environment, as he would have the advantages of a special unit to cater for his needs and still have the mainstream school for integration. Does anyone have any tips on how to ensure I do my utmost to get my son into this unit please? My son is not statemented as we are in Scotland. But he does at the moment get his 4 afternoon sessions in his current language unit plus 2 speech therapy sessions in school provided by the language unit speech therapist and he has been allocated 6 hours of additional support for his remaining class time. This additional support SHOULD be increased next year to reflect that he has more hours in class than he currently does. I just really do believe the mixed specialist unit/mainstream would be a perfect solution for my son I just don't know how to go about getting him in there if I face opposition at first. I think my first port of call will be getting a firm statement of needs done. Maybe it's time I ask for that to be done anyway. Yes. I will do that (can you tell I'm still thinking about this and planning as I write?). Any advice would be useful.

If he is not yet 2 then he doesn't need to be talking in sentences yet. At 2 years of age as long as they are starting to put 2 words together like "all done" etc then they are in line with the developmental profile. That said that doesn't mean there is not a problem with your son and professionals should head a mothers instincts not dismiss concerns without proper investigation, Try going to your GP and asking for a referal from them. The knowing 50 words and naming 5 body parts is not something they should be doing by their 2nd birthday so don't panic, they should be developing those skills within the following 6-12 months so they are in place by the next phase. Good Luck.

Echo's of my own childhood here and it breaks my heart hearing of another little girl going through it. Hopefully her diagnosis will aid her integration and your own awareness of it also. I am pretty sure I never actually told my mum about it, I just clammed up. Be there for your daughter, you may not be able to stop all the tough times in her life but you can support her through those times.

You have a lot of good advice from people with a lot of experience from different perspectives and I hope they are of help to you. All I can add is this really needs to be addressed as soon as possible. It seems to me your son sees you as an acceptable punching bag but understands he can't do it to his dad. Please don't take this as a critisism but there is something making him believe he can get away with it with you, maybe because you are his safest haven where he can release pent up emotions. I think with professional help the reasoning for this needs to be identified and addressed as soon as possible. An aggressive 5 year old is hard enough but, a 10 year old, 15 year old, 20 year old? I really hope you all get to the bottom of it and resolve the behaviour as soon as possible before it becomes an ingrained behaviour. Jeanne, once again not a lot I can say that's not already been said but thinking of you and sending you both my good wishes.

Remember to emphasis the differences in care needs between your child and "another child of the same age" who is NT. I think one of the key reasons my renewal went very well this year apart from the almost 8000 word document I sent was the professional reports showing that developmentally my son was around 2 years below where he ought to be. This backed up what I was telling them about care needs and is pretty much exactly what they need to see. Remember that in general terms to receive LRC (low rate care) you need to show your child has occasional requirements during the day. For MRC (middle rate care) your chid has frequent care requirements during the day. For HRC (high rate care) you child must have both daytime and night time care requirements. For LRM (low rare mobility) Your child must need supervision when out and about in unfamiliary surroundings. I won't go into detail over High rate mobility as it's very rare for ASD children although it is possible to get it in very extreme circumstances. If you feel your child has needs that an average child of the same age as them then put that in the form in detail. In my experience there is no such thing as giving too much detail. As you've already been told tell them on a worst case scenario. Or if something is variable for example my son's sleep. I wrote that an average night he work at least 3 times using average rather than saying "good". I then went on to describe "worse" and "worst" nights. I also broke down how many nights of each kind I had per week. I would definately always avoid the term "good". Never lie but don't play anything down and try your best to get professional reports backing up what you've said.

My take on this is she is a woman that likes to play games. She likes to have power and be in control. Maybe her current relationship she isn't in control and is trying to get a measure of control by toying with you. Whatever her reasoning it is inappropriate and I strongly suggest you distance yourself in as descrete a manner as possible to avoid being sucked into a messy situation. Even if she is genuinely attracted to you she should have enough respect for both you and her current partner to draw a line behind one relationship before pursuing another. You are worth more than that, you deserve someone that is honest and ethical - no good relationship will come from foundations of decite and subterfuge.

Does she follow the rules that you have written? If she is willing to follow the rules possibly you could change them, give a (short) list of the things she CAN do with the animals and expressly forbiD anything else. I do fully understand your frustration. My son just doesn't get it either, luckily he has absolutely no interest in our cats. Previously he never had any interest in our dog but after losing the previous dog and not having one for almost a year he has taken an interest in the German Shepherd pup we got in September. She was tiny when we got her and he took little interest but as the weeks went on he has formed a bond with her. She is now 3/4 grown and they wrestle like mad, he does sometimes hurt her a bit but she tolerates so much from him, although I still tell him off. Also he winds her up, gets her excited and she ends up hurting him a little in the excitement. I refuse to give her a row for this as he is the one winding her up knowing how it will end, he does need to learn consequences. I am just working on her training so that she doesn't get so worked up. For all she is a young dog I do trust her with him as she is very protective of them and although he sleeps in our room when we go to bed at night she likes to check on the kids before she goes to bed. Their protective instincts and gentle patience was one of the reasons we chose the GSD as well as the sturdiness to cope with the rough and tumble of a child that doesn't know when enough is enough.

Can you find a diagnostic manual like DMS IV (or DSM V when it arrives) that has it in and send a copy of that with your next claim? Or a medical journal article at all? But yeah I am sure PiP will be an ongoing source of worry for many truly disabled people and somehow the skivers it's designed to flush out will still work it to their own advantage. I really do agree our benefits system needs a serious overhaul but it never seems to work right does it?

Caroline you definately should apply for DLA. I did it for the first time last summer when my son was 3 almost 4 and did not even have a diagnosis as yet. I used the cerebra guide that you have been linked by another poster above, I found it an excellent guide and I was also given a lot of useful advise by the wonderfully helpful members of this forum. We were initially refused any award but it did not overly concern me as I was told by to expect that. I asked over the telephone for a reconsideration and was asked my reasons which I gave. After a couple of weeks we were awarded middle rate care (my son was too young at that time for low rate mobility but I was told to reapply for that when he turned 5) for a 2 year period. There was a slight mix up with the initial date of award and I asked them to sort that (was worth about £100 to me) but I didn't realise this triggered a new full scale reconsideration, I full expected to have the award taken away again or reduced but I got a phone call from the decison maker asking lots of questions about his night time needs and again a few days later I found out we had our award changed to high rate care for 15 months. I was happy with the decison as like yourself we have a lot of night time problems so I always felt high rate was the most appropriate. This year renewal was due and he was turning 5 all around the same time but we'd been through the diagnostic progress by then and had several letters and reports from various medical and educational professionals regarding his difficulties. I was slightly concerned as our diagnosis is not actually ASD and the condition of language disorder doesn't imply the full extent of his needs although it basically presents in a very similar manner to HFA. My form instead of writing on it and adding an extra sheet at the end like I did last time in almost all sections I just wrote "see addition information notes" and I sent in a printed word document comprising over 7700 words outlining every aspect of the challenges presented and differences from the average 5 year old. This time the decison came back within 9 days including posting time both ways!! We have been awarded high rate care and low rate mobility for the next 5 years. My husband says they just didn't want to have to read the same novel again everytime I challenged or renewal come up lol! It really definately is worth the perseverance to get DLA. It really does ease the financial burden caused by a child that has additional needs and for my part was a validation that my son had such needs as even a lot of family members had constantly dismissed his difficulties as he didn't have the obviously physical disability of my cousins child (cue violins for her, I wasn't allowed to have a disabled child and share her martyrdom. Yeah like I want my son to have this!) Sally - congrats on getting the award you deserve. Sa/ST - Only adults are moving to PiP starting next year. It is expected to take a few years for this to be fully implemented and the lessons from the changeover learned. Until then there are no plans to change child DLA although it is expected it will eventually changeover but I would not expect this to be for at least 5 more years.

My first memory I am not sure if it is a genuine memory or a memory of what I pictured in my head when the story was recounted within the family later on (as humerous tales often are). But it was my aunts wedding and I was not even 2 years old. I was in the hall where the reception was and my grandad was there, he went to the loo and I followed not knowing where he was going. The family tale is that I chased him into the gents shouting "Mike! Mike" which I sort of remember but that's where I think I remember being told rather than actual memory. The bit that I think is a genuine memory is once I chased him into the toilet I remember seeing the urinals and being puzzled as to what they were for. I'm glad my first memory is about my grandad, he was an amazing man. My next definate memory is the day of my second birthday. I know it was that day because (family memory again) it was the day I got my very first pair of glasses. Myself and the little boy next door were being looked after out playing by a 15 yr old and 16 yr old across the road from us which is why our parents let us out the garden to play. The girls took us away from the street though so they could sneek cigarettes and gave us some. I didn't like it and wanted to go home but they took us somewhere else and I knew we shouldn't be going there or smoking etc so I ran away and made my way home, it was only a 1 min walk for an adult but a 2 year old it was a long way and there was a road right outside our house which I had to cross alone. I was then knocked over by a teenage boy on a bike and my first pair of glasses were smashed just hours after I got them. I don't remember the glasses getting smashed but as I said family tales - I do remember the boy on the bike however OUCH! I was lucky though just a boy on a bike nothing with an engine. Needless to say although I didn't tell my mum about the smoking she was not happy at the 2 girls not looking after us when they had promised to do so and I was not allowed to go with them again.

Thanks for your replies guys. Trekster, I don't think I'm extreme enough to be bipolar, I do get depressed but as far as I am aware I've never been manic. I imagine BPD is much more extreme than I display and must be very difficult to live with. DS, 2 things firstly I think you've described very well a lot of what I experience except rather than not being quite sure of my emotions I know what they are but am maybe just not interested in displaying them for the world. At school I was always told I walked around looking miserable, even when I was perfectly happy. That just seems to be the natural relaxed look my face has and I have always refused to walk around with a fake smile plastered on my face looking like an idiot for no reason. I will only smile in 2 circumstances, firstly when I am happy and secondly in a 1-2-1 situation like an interview or Dr's appt - at those I always smile and make eye contact, I learnt to do that in my teens, I do it well but I definately had to learn it. The second thing I was going to ask was do you/did you play WOW at all? Your name just suddenly rang a bell and I sort of think I might "know" you from WOW if you've ever used DS as your username on there. Might just be a co-incidence. Sa, oh yes people get to know about it. My hubby says I am explosive if someone does something to me - no middle ground I go straight out gunning for them. It is actually negative emotions I seem to be more volatile on now that I think about it, maybe because I am in a stable loving relationship and have children - showing affection is a normal daily occurance.

I am undiagnosed, may never be dx so may never be sure if I am AS or not but I will answer anyway. My life as it is now is stressfull as it's full of family and university life. This involves other people but I do sometimes wish I could still go back to those awful lonely years when I was able to shut myself away from the world for weeks on end. In reality I don't want to go back to those days but the solitude I do miss. I did tend to hold down jobs for a few months at a time and was never out of work for long periods just a week or 2 here and there but I could never stay in one place long, I just didn't fit in, couldn't cope. And I'd go to work and come home and not go over door again or see/speak to anyone again until it was time to work again. I'd just get settled in one job when I'd get unsettled again and need to find a new job, it was like that first horrible day almost made me sick but then for the next couple of weeks the newness was easier to cope with but by the 3 or 4 month mark I'd be taking sick time and desperately looking for new employment. The job I am in now I have been doing for 5 years now and that is only because I get to work from home and I am able to interact with people only by typing, no face to face or phonecalls. For the last 14 months I have also been a student nurse and I find that very very stressful socially speaking rather than academically which is not an issue. But I want to progress and I refuse to let it get to me so I will persevere and although the stress of that and getting my son's needs addressed have taken their toll on me in recent months and I have had to see my GP for medication for depression I will do this. Assuming I do have AS I refuse to let it control anymore of my life. Yes it makes it very hard for me to do certain things but the consequences of not doing some of those things make other things hard. Somethings I can learn to do and somethings I can learn to find other ways of managing. I'm not sure if that means the coping techniques I've learnt over the years are working or if it means I'm not actually an Aspie but I'm fed up of being controlled by my fears (fears is the wrong word here, not sure should it be inabilities, should it just be that general feeling of wanting to throw up at the idea of spending time with people I just don't get and don't get me but I'm sure you guys know what I mean), I know what I want I am going to get there. I know that's a bit of a tangent from your OP Sa sorry.

Hi guys, My husband and I were talking the other night and he made an observation that all my emotions were extremes, either totally off or there in extreme measures. This is for both positive emotions like affections and for negative emotions like anger. He wonders if this may be connected to my possible ASD. Has anyone else experienced similar or been told the same from partners/family/friends?

Just a thought on the LEA situation Jeanne. Whilst he was in school his home address would officially be yours even though he was residential I assume so that would make him the responsibility of your LEA. However now he is an adult and if I am correct in thinking has moved to an adult residence then that is is permament place of residence and therefore you could have a case to transfer his care to the LEA for that area. At the end of the day Glen won't be coming home to you for anything other than visits and the home is for all intents and purposes his home therefore his LEA should reflect where his home is. Also if he is settled and you are happy with the care he recieves there despite the distance for you then it would be helpful to have the Coventry LEA (West Midlands?) covering him for funding and social work as this is the most secure long term solution for Glen. There is a grain of a memory about Glen still being classed as in education until next summer? Have I remembered that right? If that is so that might be why they want to move him when that ends. That might also mess up the residential status as I suggested above, but I still think it is worth pursuing. On the other hand is WM LEA able to provide services to the same level as Essex? The last thing you want to do is fight to change LEA then realise it was a huge mistake.

I love em, always have. The colours facinate me but then I was always facinated by an open fire too, I would sit and watch one for hours on end.