philtfa

I grew up... ...but I didn't get over it! Guess I didn't try hard enough... ...oh well, better crawl back under my stone.

buried

Hi there, I don't have any advice for you but as noone else has said hello yet I just thought I'd say hello. You sound like a great mum. Hopefully somebody will be along shortly with some wise words. Good luck, philtfa

Well, it might be...hang on haven't we been here before? Anyway, I often get told I'm a moody b*****. AS or not it's got to be in the mix somewhere. I mean, I can take responsibility for my moods but I don't know why they happen and they're often difficult to predict and control.

Hey! I don't like clocks either, especially at night. I too have had to put watches and clocks outside the room because they bother me. I've been laughed at for this so it's good to hear of someone else with the same problem.

Appeal! They are on a bit of a crusade at the moment to get a lot of people off DLA, unfortunately there is no logic to their approach. They seem to be targeting evryone. My partner was told that she was no longer eligible for DLA despite nothing having changed to her condition. She appealed, was then told it would go court for a hearing, then later told that her appeal was upheld before it got to court. So stick at it and don't let them put you off. Get advice, and help, from CAB or similar to fill in forms etc. They operate a points system to score you. Find out what you need to have to get those points. Good luck

Surely even Margaret Thatcher can't take credit for saying that?! But let's not go there otherwise the Forum police will be along to remind us that it's an ASD forum. Conversation, what a minefield eh? Apart from the 'How are you?' ritual there's also the joke ritual whereby, let's say, a work colleague will make what they consider a jokey lighthearted remark and expect a suitably similar reply. Unfortunately I usually struggle to work out whether they are being serious or not, what the hell they are on about and am then unable to supply the requisite reply. Which makes me look awkward and stupid and colleague makes a mental note to avoid me in the future. Actually, I used to be really bad at this but as I've got older have learned how to cope a bit more. Still not any fun for me though.

For me the film definately shouldn't be scripted. Why not just let people speak for themselves. They will have real stories to tell. Real experience of what it's like to have AS etc But I'm not making the film! Do it your way, but do it!!

Looking back I can see that I was super impolite! But not on purpose, I just didn't know how to communicate with people. I didn't make eye contact and struggled to find words whilst often not understanding what people were saying or why they said it. Small talk I just didn't get at all. How are you people would say and I would tell them, everything, but then couldn't understand why they didn't seem to want to know. I have learnt to say 'I'm well" even when I'm usually not. That's the thing to say apparently. Yes, being in a crowd and feeling lonely is the worst. I started to avoid crowds and not go out. It seemed easier but although it was more comfortable the loneliness started to grow. I have made more effort in recent years to adapt and 'fit-in' with some minor success but I still don't really feel part of it and, yes, I think you are right in that people sense you are not quite 'normal' I know that darkshine is struggling at the moment and I too seem to be going through one of my more difficult phrases. Again, as you've said, not being understood by others or even understanding yourself makes life hard. However, there is some small comfort here on this forum reading words written by other people that somehow make a connection. Just as some NTs share a common understanding of each other so do some of us Aspies. I'm not so sure that NTs understand what it really is to be Aspie though. And vice versa!

You haven't bored me. I have found it comforting to hear from others like/similar to me. Your story reads very similar to mine apart from the happily married bit! Oh, and I like football and a drink!! But that apart your description of your aloofness and detachment, learning to appear normal etc all sound familiar. Relationships/friendships remain very difficult for me. Communication always seem to be misunderstood. I remain, at the age of 53, bemused and confused by the world. And very lonely. Understanding Aspergers and how it has affected ones life is one thing but moving forward with this recently gained knowledge is proving to be difficult at the moment for me.

I think I said that! But without the long (winded) analogy. Little Plum said: Actually it was Sartre and I'm pretty sure he wasn't AS. Doesn't matter though, great quote. Actually Camus wrote the Outsider which is a cracking read for an Aspie!

But AS may be a contributing factor. AS is not typical, we are all different. I have had similar feelings to those you describe. All I can say is that the feelings pass and I survive. This I have learnt. It is an interesting question...how much does AS affect me? Who is in control, me or AS? Maybe sometimes it's me and maybe sometimes it isn't. It probably doesn't really matter. Trying to make sense of everything and trying to survive is so exhausting and not much fun. For me, I have a son who I want to be around for. Otherwise, who knows? But anyway, I value your posts.

Excuse me? Who is rude, contentious, cantankerous?

Perhaps he's got that thing...what's it called? Aspergers?

With apologies to special talent, who actually makes a serious point I think Zapp Brannigan is controlling baddad