Jump to content

Forgetmenot

Members
  • Content Count

    15
  • Joined

  • Last visited

2 Followers

About Forgetmenot

  • Rank
    Salisbury Hill
  • Birthday 06/23/1982

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Portsmouth
  • Interests
    volunteering
    Camera operator, editor, researcher.
  1. Got some good news Ive done some research and there is learning disabilities, learning difficulties and dyslexia in the family. Also one of my very young brothers , is reported to have similar attention/focus difficulties to my own child. Also one grandmother with suspected Bipolar Disorder in the past. Told my child to tidy their room again today and they did it.
  2. That explains a lot.....

  3. Hi BID your comment is very just, maybe I should have explained better what I meant by such a comment. No my view wasn't disabling but valid. The type of tactics you gain from a parenting course are largely mind control and manipulation tactics, and you can't necessarily use those successfully unto a child with some type of spectrum disorder, because their brains are different. I know the ask, say and do routines work for my child, but to minimise hyperactivity, anger and improve concentration a lot more, no I can't say Ive learnt anything on the parenting courses that have managed to help cure those issues. I have made adjustments to diet, lifestyle , mine included in order to help. The lady who commented, sorry I wasn't ignoring you, It's nice to hear of other people's experiences, and Im so pleased that you managed to get the help for your child. Unfortunately it's not like that for every parent, and some of us have to go through more steps. Thank you :robbie:
  4. After taking on board the comments, Ive decided that it's wise to be cautious and question CAMHS claims that 'problems in children are due to ineffective parenting', because that is a very judgemental and sweeping statement to make. Experts also have to question how much of their experiences are clouding their judgement when they are faced with a families issues. Is it always fair to contextualise a family? I believe that parenting courses are beneficial , but I do not believe that they can cure a problem that cant be cured. I am a lady with breathing problems and tracheostomy who has raised a humorous deep feeling child, who has had many good experiences. I understand the misconceptions that some people can have due to my breathing problems and tracheostomy. Every few months my child becomes unwell and I have proven how to deal with those issues successfully and effectively. I was so proud of them today for tidying the room they trashed yesterday. They didn't even kick up a fuss about it.
  5. Thanks for your input, its helpful to hear other people's experiences.
  6. Now can I just say a BIG THANKYOU to you! Flappy Fish This is helpful advice
  7. What do you know, we have lift off! Just show's what a difference a few hours make. My child has tidied their WHOLE bedroom which they trashed last night. My calm underhand methods work!
  8. Ok I've read all posts here. I stand by my opinion that I handled the situation in a calm manner that should only prove to my child to be a positive example. As to BD's post I had every right to question the information that he gave me and wonder whether it was genuine advice or not. I already understand the concept that parenting is important. I also appreciate that it is healthy to question the types of styles the parenting courses offer. Like I said I have been open to learning, I have the paediatric first aid certificates and Triple P certificates. May I also state that I was a parent who gave my child good examples by removing us from domestic abuse situations when they were a baby. May I also state that I encouraged my child to develop socially by taking them to groups , and taught them different ways of seeing the world. I also home tutored my child last year, and instead of doing the phonics, mathematics, reading in a boring setting, we went out and they enjoyed the learning a lot more and the activities I told them to do were done faster. My child also had independence and time without me. I also encouraged my child through out their life to take responsibility for actions which were their doing and not other people's. I should not have to prove to you my parenting or the concepts I understand to prove that I'm doing everything in my power to make sure mu child develops well mentally, emotionally and physically. But if you wish it- * I understand that a child needs consistency boundaries and so forth. I also understand that it is not just the resident parent that has to apply consistency but non resident parent, school and other experts involved with the child. *Time out is used , routine charts, reward charts. * Yes my child has had similar responses in other environments. *I don't believe that ALL behaviour can be changed. but I do think it's worth taking a shot at. I have had instances of success and equally if my child is too enraged instances of the strategies being made useless. *I do not believe that communicating with my child after they had calmed down enough was a form of reward, simply because I know that my child was very ill at the time and needed treatment not misunderstanding. May I also state I have a tracheostomy and breathing problems so having a light voice is part of who I am. *My child does respond well to some strategies and poorly with others that are demonstrated by Triple P. My child does share with other children, has a big sense of humour, likes art, music , drawing and accepts responsibility and listens to requests. Don't get me wrong but there have been countless times my child has listened to me in the family home. They are in no way completely disobedient Equally my child struggles emotionally. Im glad that I have recognised the times she needs more help. Strategies are helpful but I know that my own parenting styles are also fine. I know you have only my word for all this, but Im telling the truth. If you want to believe that my child's behaviour will all be down to myself that is up to you. But what I will say is that I am not the only person who is responsible for how my child turns out. I can't substitute the information for something that its not.
  9. If you'd like to upbraid someone I could suggest the father of my child who has never exorcised his parental responsibility or cared for his child's welfare , behaviour or learning. I'm pleased to say that for my child's seven years I have gone above and beyond the call of duty.
  10. Yes I understand what you are saying. Thank you for reminding me that diverse families are not always appreciated and that child behavioural difficulties cause prejudiced misconceptions within the community. I find that I am very consistent with my child and have boundaries, and I thank the close people around me who know me well for commenting on my parenting ability. I know my child very well, and I know their difficulties. I also know that my child's reactions can not always be 'controlled' Which I believe is the word you used. Any advice you have please use it upon yourself to improve your own social skills before you impose judgement on my child's.
  11. My child responds badly to simple requests.My child becomes enraged and loses focus,they trash the living area of the home, spit, punch, kick and lose all sense of themselves. They shout and scream uncontrollably things that don't make sense. I have often commented to people its like watching a switch in personality,docile to aggressive in seconds. My child comments that they cannot 'help' the things they do and at times they have felt guilty and commented that they wish they 'had not been born' and that they 'want to leave so that they don't hurt' me. At a time I was able to engage their attention I whispered to them in a very light voice and then they calmed down. Im not exaggerating when I say it was like looking at asbo type behaviour. My child is 7 is very intelligent but has speech delay. They are big in character and full of life and energy and very happy. Im concerned about the quick mood changes.
  12. So I get the impression that Triple P can be for any family?
  13. That all sounds good. Last year I did a Triple P positive parenting programme course and a few of the mums I knew were going on this course. I knew that teachers had also taken on these courses. Now at the time I was of the impression that the parenting course was tailored for most children and families. I watched the Triple P videos on the course too and at no point did the videos state if the course was specialised. Well my child has suffered with behavioural issues for a very long time anyway and so took on the course. I liked the course and I found new strategies that my child responded well to, although equally there were strategies that just did not make a difference to the behaviour issues, such as 'time out.' I met someone recently who seemed to have an opinion that I should not have done the Triple P course anyway as my child has got no diagnosis and seemed to think that the strategies would cause more damage. But to be honest with you a lot of the parents who did the course were advised to and they had not had any diagnosis for their children either. If i'm honest this person's response was a bit patronising and I viewed that if I had have not done the course then I would have undoubtedly been advised to do it at some point as part of my responsibility and duty to my child. They even tried to sound quite negative about my paediatric first aid certificate. I think they were trying to insinuate that I could be over worrying about my own child.
  14. Ah yes money would be an issue for me, but I'm sure I'll find some course. Thanks for your help Lynne. Has anyone on here been advised to go on a Triple P course before? I have done a Triple P, but someone once told me there is also a 'Triple P stage 5' course.
×
×
  • Create New...