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brainfizz

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About brainfizz

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    Norfolk Broads

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  • Gender
    Female
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    Essex
  1. Hi everyone, I've been on this forum before but sort of got lost in life but here I am again I have Aspergers and have a 2 year 7 month little girl who I question if she has the same, we've been seeing a paedatrician every few months and each time she says she can't tell yet and I agree she is young and it is hard to tell but there are so many little behaviours that stand out to me. She's always been different, even has a baby she cried and we could do nothing, she was very particular about what she wanted and didn't like to be held or cuddled unless a certain way or being fed. Now she is older she does show interest in other kids but she seems very ahead of them and sometimes she holds her hand out to them like she does to our cats to call them over, she bends her head to the side and talks in a high pitch voice copying us how we speak to her in that 'mumsy' way to them. She plays games her way and seems so much older than children her age,she prefers older children and adults. She can seem awkward with other children, like they are just being 2 and flying around sometimes making contact as they do with other children whereas my little one is very aware of them and seems quiet sometimes and unsure of them, almost like an older child looks at a toddler having a tantrum wondering what to do or think. She does make eye contact but seems she doesnt think to most times, she looks at strangers when they talk to her because it's new and she doesnt know what to do but with us she doesnt really bother making eye contact,and if she does it can be intense and almost like she is imitating, she also tends to look at one eye. She has meltdowns rather than tantrums, often because a doll isnt sitting perfectly in the right position, a bit like OCD she has to have something just right and if we've left the house without her baby doll she will lose it completely, she is inconsolable and has bitten herself before and isnt aware of danger unlike a tantrum. Baby dolls are her thing and she loves them, she has quite rigid play. The meltdowns can be impossible to deal with and I just have to let them run their course, there is nothing I can do apart from keep her safe. She is well behaved little girl, huge amount of understanding and excellent speech, a little clumsy sometimes, we've always talked to her, explained everything, given her options and got down to her level, I'm a trained nursery nurse so I know about child development and I've always use it with her and repeated back what she says etc. it's just this rigidity and ocd type behaviour, i want to help but i know i cant from my own experience, i also feel myself getting sensory overload in a shop for example and i look at her and know she is going that way too, i know to take her out of busy places and let her cool off. People are always delighted with her and how she talks is perfect, little sayings or sentences that are more adult level than child, or body language. I suppose I just want to know, there's little things that i know would benefit her and sadly much support only comes with a diagnosis, if she has aspergers then i want the label because it means help and support and not going through her life wondering why she is different or struggling in school when she shouldnt have to, its hard because she is what she is and going to the paed appt in october doesnt mean that doctor will see something we dont, what happens here is how she is but i cant say yes or no for the life of me and im going mad lol. Mostly i dont think about it but the last few days it's all come up again, it can be so difficult taking her out, she is so rigid with everything,wont go in the pushchair but wont hold hands either etc, wants to push the pushchair with her baby or toy strapped in, some things seem just average toddler but that's the thing she never has been like other toddlers, but some things stand out a mile. Anyway I suppose I am just venting here lol, there are no answers at the moment and that can be hard sometimes, i just need to support her where she needs and see how it turns out. Thanks for reading and if you have any thoughts or advise please feel free
  2. As a child what signs were there that you had Autism or Aspergers?
  3. It is so hard when you have parents like that, mine were similar. I think often leaving home is the best thing but that probably isnt possible for you right now, the next best thing is to definitely get some outside support, you are obviously struggling to consider being in certain places because of your fears let alone find a job and I think support from professionals could help you to find work suitable and to give you that other end of support that isnt so judging and negative. You have got strengths and the more you work at doing things you find difficult the easier it will get to go and do those things, I still find it very difficult but do manage to work in a hospital and function quite well yet I have huge social phobias and difficulties relating to people, you learn to apply a mask, (although I have read that this is easier for female asd/aspies). My point is try one step at a time, could you try volunteering somewhere a few hours a week or getting out and doing things you enjoy in a more social atmosphere so you can get used to be around people? I dont know if my suggestions are helpful but good luck with this anyway.
  4. Hi newbie I'm female with possible Aspergers and to be honest I don't want to judge you for how you feel about women, if you have had bad experiences in the past with most women then it is likely you will feel this way about them, the fact that you are trying to change your views is a good thing. I don't know if I'm just generalising but I do think a lot of men find women difficult anyway because we are so naturally different to men and the same goes the other way, of course there are difficulties when mixing, autistic or not! I think it's hard to find a good relationship anyway let alone being on the autistic spectrum but it isn't impossible, I think doing things that you find interesting and trying to get out there and do things you enjoy around others is a good way to start, try to meet your friends friends and see if you can meet females that way, I don't know about you but I would find it hard to socialise but it is a good place to start. Can you go to any support groups near you, are there any women there you could meet? Don't give up on us yet, you've had some negative experiences but there are plenty of positive experiences out there to be had yet! Good luck
  5. That's interesting, they told me you can't have both and it's one or the other, I shall ask about it again on Thursday. Have you for Aspergers?
  6. brainfizz

    Hello!

    Hi everyone. Charlotte I live in Clacton! Just down the road P.s Does anyone know why my bit over there by my username says Norfolk Broads?
  7. Has anyone been in the situation where they are waiting for a psychiatric assessment and the two possible diagnosis's are Aspergers or Personality Disorder, it's so hard to work out which is more likely and it seems impossible that the doctors would even know the difference between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Aspergers. Any experiences or advise for this? Thanks
  8. brainfizz

    Hello!

    Hi just thought I'd say Hi and introduce myself, I'm from Essex, UK married with a 19 month old and in the process of being diagnosed with either Aspergers or Personality Disorder, don't you just love the process. Anyway nice to meet you all x
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