susiemumof3

Firstly, thank you to both sally and shnoing for your replies. It is much appreciated! An update from our visit to the child development clinic and the paediatrician today; J came happily to the appointment and seemed quite buoyant, until we reached the waiting room that is, then all hell broke loose. He was crying, pleading to leave, arguing and headbutting the chairs. I, of course remained calm and assertive. The doctor came but and invited us in, but j refused to move or to look up, just sat there crying. I went in alone but we left the door open. We discussed recent developments most of which have been positive, which I put down to a change in my own attitude and j's subsequent improvement of trust in me. We talked about the most recent reports from various professionals and then j skulked into the room, he would not answer questions, would not respond and sat crying quietly. We talked some more about his lack of interest in anything aside from computers and then discussed how he will reluctantly relate his problems to me in his own time, but with me facing the wall. This made the doctor sit up and listen. We chatted some more and he decided that an mda meeting was required. He is also going to make a second referral to the edpsych for an ADOS. I had to ask him to repeat himself as I thought I had imagined it. Finally, we seem to be moving forward. Obviously, the ADOS may indicate no asd which is absolutely fine with me. I am at the point though where I know there is a problem somewhere and for his sake we need to find out what, especially as secondary school is looming. So what I am trying to say is thank you. The support on this forum has been invaluable, and I feel that as a result of advice and support I have received, I am better able to support and understand my son. I will of course keep posting and share the results of the next steps. Thanks again, X

Thanks for that sally. What are standardised assessments? He has seen edpsych, salt, ot and pediatrician and various weaknesses have been identified such as short term working memory difficulties, literal interpretation inconsistency, auditory filtering problems, tactile sensory difficulties and audio/visual sensitivities but as nobody has observed him 'playing'with other children, social interaction has not really been considered. The pediatrician asked whether he has friends, which he has although these are very limited and are like minded children I don't believe it gives a well rounded view of his social behaviour. It's very difficult to keep pushing for them to consider his problems from an as perspective as they are convinced his problems stem from 'anxiety secondary to sensory difficulties'.

Just wondering if when going through appointments and assessments, did your child play down their difficulties so as to not look stupid or weird? All our reports from assessments so far state that there is a large discrepancy between what 'mother has reported' and what child says are weaker areas or concerns. He will admit to me afterwards that he didn't want people thinking he was odd, so he claimed things didn't bother him or concern him. All the reports also began with, ' child made and maintained eye contact throughout the appointment'. Now I am very aware that he is uncomfortable with eye contact, but when spoken to directly, he will look at the person's face, usually the top of their nose as this is enforced in school. Is that classed as eye contact, as he is conforming to social rules. Thanks for reading, hope someone can help!

That happens to my husband daily! No medical reason for it, he just seems really forgetful!

i believe he was standing at the front of the class holding a board, so not staring at a screen. It's proving pretty difficult to get info from him as just talking about it apparently makes him feel ill again!

Hi all, My son fainted in class today while they were learning about the story of Easter and the crucifixion. The school say he was standing for quite a while and the gp concurs that this was the likely cause. however, J keeps insisting that it was caused by anxiety over the topic. He is now worried that they will continue the teaching tomorrow at school and he is really scared it will happen again. firstly, does anyone have experience of this happening? And secondly, should I insist he not be present for any religious discussions at risk of appearing neurotic and overbearing once again. btw, we do not have a diagnosis for J but pretty sure he is on the spectrum to a degree. still going through all the appointments and assessments currently. Thanks for taking the time to read. x

Hi juls, I can completely sympathise with your frustration. We don't yet have a diagnosis for our 10 year old son, and it is possible that none will be forthcoming as the school do not see what we see. Why is it that you have to constantly fight to get adequate support for your child? poor him and poor you. Sounds like you have a great relationship though and you sound incredibly supportive. I hope that he eventually receives the support he needs. x

it is actually through camhs that we have the family therapy sessions. they were initially seeing him due to excessive fears and worries but he will mask them when questioned so he doesn't appear stupid. He won't even talk to his dad about them. so then they created these family sessions. We had an awful morning. He was melting down before school and it was horrendous for us all.

i must apologise for my appalling typing errors. i am using a tablet and despise not using a keyboard. i actually asked his teacher at a meeting once whether he made eye contact or not. his teacher last year informed me that eye contact is not a birth skill and it must be taught. this year's teacher replied, "I don't think you should really be looking for signs of autism, trust me, he maay have some autistic traits but you certainly won't get a diagnosis'. needless to say i was astounded. who knew teachers were now medical experts!

problen is, i am no expert. i teach adults with varying needs and am very aware of difficulties facing adults with asd. children however i am not so sure of. thus far i have placed my faith entirely in the system, assuming that if there is asd they will find it. my faith is waning now when over 20 months later we have got nowhere.

no, as j will show eye contact and the therapist said asd will not make eye contact. however i recently learned his eye contact actually consists of him staring at a space above someone's nose which gives the same impression!

they say he is fine and that i should stop looking for things, edpsych report indicated nothing of any concern salt indicated problems with short term working memory and reluctance initially to make eye contact. some difficulties with literal interpretation was picked up but not highlighted as a problem. not had ot report yet, but she did work with him on shoelaces and cutlery usage. we are attending family therapy sessions which i find extremely unhelpful as j will listen to their suggestions for his outbursts and then quote them back at me as excuses for his behaviour. i go though, as we have been told to. Of course if this all comes down to a parenting issue, at least i am doing all i can to rectify my faults as a mum.

Senco is most definitely not keen on me pursuing a diagnosis. i have had several meetings where i have come away frustrated, teary and depressed. i think she believes me to be slightly neurotic as j is an 'angel'' at school, although she has seen his outside behaviour.

hi, i first posted back in august 2011 when we finally had referrals. we have now seen SALT, OT and a paediatrician several times and still no closer to finding out what is wrong. To be honest j who is now 10 is seriously fed up of all the appointments and i am losing patience. should it be taking this long? The blame for all j's difficulties are still being placed at my feet and although some areas are improved, he is not happy and i don't know whether i should be pushing this through the gp now. it's so difficult to know what to do for the best. Still no problems within school hours and any problems which i feel i need to inform the school about are responded with "I would just ignore it, he's probably doing it for attention." We will be looking at secondary schools come september and i for one am petrified. :-(

Hi all, still getting nowhere fast with regards to appointments although have chased up the SALT and OT and they have assured me we will receive an appointment soon. I went into the school on Friday to ask for a meet with my son's new teacher (year 5 Primary) as we have an appointment coming up soon with the Child Development Clinic and I wanted to clarify some details before we go. She said that was fine and then stroked my arm telling me how it was all fine and his behaviour is perfectly normal and I need to not worry so much. Apparently in school he is a perfect angel and has friends. Anyway we met on Monday and had a very long conversation. I asked about eye contact because it's not something we see at home. She frowned and replied that I should not be looking for an autistic diagnosis as he is just lashing out at home which is perfectly 'normal'! (again, that word thrown at me!) I kept insisting that he was not coping somewhere along the line which would explain his high anxiety and anger issues at home. She said eye contact needs to be taught in all children and that we need to train him to look at people when they are talking to him. I just feel so frustrated again. Although I feel towards the end of the meeting she was kind of understanding my issues, I still think the are seeing me as neurotic and slightly obsessed with my child (understandably as he appears to have two personalities!). Last night he had a MAJOR meltdown about something trivial which resulted in him crying hysterically that he couldn't go to school as he is scared he is going to hurt someone and he will get into trouble. I wonder if perhaps he is struggling to control his temper and anxieties now he is getting older. On top of this, we are now worrying that our 7 year old is dyslexic like his dad and I am so worried about discussing this with the school as I can already feel their rolling eyes reaction and 'she's off again' mentality! Anyone else ever just feel like screaming????? I only want my child to enjoy his childhood and not be so sad. Should I take a step back and just let things occur naturally or should I keep pushing? Oh I am so confused!