polkadotty

I think that you can write again to confirm what has happened: maybe you could say that you're pleased that the reintegration package has been put together, and that you'd like to just confirm that YOU have understood fully what that actually means in practical terms (make it sound like you need to understand, not that you don't trust..). This is important, simply because you may need to have some form of evidence that you asked for this at a later date - if you do have any further difficulties with the LEA... You may of course have no more problems, but being a git cynical at the mo' I'm inclined to think that forearmed is forewarned. or is it the other way round??? Anyway, hang on in there. You don't have to be nice to the head - he has to be nice to you. (but i do know what you mean, as i've been in a similar position to you). I am in a current battle with my LEA, and nobody every replies to my letters an demails, and the people i need to speak to are always 'unavailable'. I have had to get so assertive and unlke myself to deal with the irritating people in charge... thinking of you dotty

My son is an avid reader... with the consequence that he follows any written instruction that says: please ring, press for attention, whether or not attention is required... He also decided that a sore finger required an ambulance one afternoon last year and i only realised when i heard him chatting in his room, (not used to him doing roleplay etc) went to check and realised he was speak to the ambulance service. also got a rolicking from the 999 services, who didn't think him being autistic was too good an excuse. he's not done it since, but him and red buttons in buses is just asking for trouble. or little packets of sugar and ketchup in service stations. Does anyone else have to frisk their kid's pockets????

My 8yr old AS son has some very good friends with ASD's. In his words, he says "I like autistic people because i know they know how i think". he has one friend that he just clicks with, and although he can be a terrible wind up merchant (my boy, that is) - enjoys the spectacular meltdowns he can cause by annoying his buddies, he can share, he can play games, he can do cooperative play (eg digging holes inthe garden) unsupervised for hours. And i would say that he gets on better with other children that have a similarly quirky style, whether diagnosed or not: C's best friend is 10, and I would say is clearly somewhere on the spectrum, but is undiagnosed and much more empathic than C. But they get on so well. C can be quite charismatic, despite his quirkiness and attracts younger children to him - I think he has an air of danger about him - or adrenalin, maybe (a bit ADHD too). But he is wary of NT friends and relaxed with ASD ones; I put that down to terrible experiences at 3 mainstream schools really.

My son (AS 8 yrs) gets the same way about me 'lying' if I said i'd do something, and something prevents me from doing it. I don't think i have a failsafe method for preventing meltdown, but he seems calmer about stuff at the moment. I try to do a thing i call 'forward visualisation' with him: talking about how he will feel, andwhat he will do if something happens. Sort of a social story I spose. For example, I talk about what I want todo, and say tht I would really like to do this with him, but there may be reasons why it won't happen. Then i give him examples and say something like, " i expect i'll feel a bit disappointed, I wonder what i could do about that..." sometimes it works like a charm and we think of stuff together, so that he is sort of prepared. And somtimes we just have meltdown. I think that the best we can do is explain things in as close to autie terms as we can, being logical and clear. But I do avoid promises, since they have a habit of biting me in the bum. Dont worry though, sounds like you're doing a great job. WE don't get it right all the time, and we don't have to be perfect, just good enough. We're learning too. <'> polkadotty

Oil (sums up my mood today)

egg

here i am again Can you believe that i got a phone call this afternoon from the SENCO of a school i've never heard of, in a completely different authority to ours, asking me for more information about my application for my son that I have made to their school. Talk about gobsmacked - the LEA have gone and applied to a school and sent all of C's personal and educational documentation to this school without parental consent, without asking us if that's what we wanted, despite me having explained to them at least 3 times in the last 3 months that C cannot travel for an hour each way to school and back, and that we do not think that that is an appropriate placement. So i took my brood and went to the Council offices this afternoon and went up in the fancy lift and let the howling throng (my kids) charge up and down while i demanded to see someone in SEN dept. Noone there to talk to me, just a minion, poor thing, who took my rant very sympathetically, but..... I don't want sympathy I want information!!!!!!!! Despite my ranting, really I'm no further forward. Damn and blast it. How many times do I have to ask for a reply to a letter, and to speak to someone who can tell me something??? I am banging my head on a brick wall at every turn. Oh powers that be, someone listen and DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!

Hang on in there pinksapphire - and don't give the b****'s any ammunition before your tribunal!!!! If you don't feel like going, don't go, but also remember that the school may then say that 'parents did not contribute / participate eg not coming to parents evening' etc. This happened to us, because we didn't reply to something we didn't agree with in the home-school agreement book. Sometimes being seen to be doing what you should be doing is as important as doing what you should be doing.... If you always hold the moral highground, it's so much easier to push the others off. good luck <'> dotty

[ i feel everythings going wrong and i cant cope any more . thanks for listening x Jannyk - i am sending you such big hugs <'> <'> <'> Can't help you solve this stuff - but i can pep talk you!!! You know best for your son. Dont let them fob you off - shout as loudly as you can, be as annoying as you can, ask as many questions as you can, and phone every day (if you have time / energy).... I went on the rampage today. I got a phone call from a school i'd never heard of that's nearly 40 miles away, saying that they were considering my application for C at their resourced unit. Which was news to me!!!!!!!! Was i mad or was i mad I picked up child no 2 and took no1 and no3 (hoping they'd all get nice and hyper on the way) and took them to the council offices. It was less satisfying that i'd hoped as there was nobody who knew my case there - but at least i got to stand there and tell several SEN people loudly how upset i am about the whole thing and what i want them to do for us. I have no high hopes over the outcome, but i am so sick of not knowing what's happening, and of noone replying to my letters and emails. If i have to dance naked on the chief exec's desk, then i will. must be going mad Dotty, very dotty

Guys I love your technicolour words!!! I'm (or i thought i was) NT but i have always liked numbers in the 4 times table. I remember asking another child at school what their favourite number was, because mine was 32. It still is, but i continue to be surprised that other people don't seem to feel strongly about numbers. Mine arent really incolour but some definitely 'feel' nice - i love 32, 24 and 4, and i don't mind odd numbers. but i really don't like 7 or 31. I was quite unhappy about being 31, even at the ripe old age of 31, and it had nothing to do with age, since i was perfectly happy to be 32. Delighted in fact. My only gripe is that now i'm 36, which is a number i quite like, i haven't got any numbers now that i really look forward to. Mostly there a bit cold. My son hears voices in colour - (AS) he says whispering is in black and white, and shouting is purple. Singing is kind of blue-green. An interesting consequence of this is that he only likes music that has lots of colours in it, like Radiohead or a complicated baroque piece - church organ music is particularly good. And he hates music with only one line, like a song with one voice and one guitar. Does anyone else get pictures that stickintheir heads and they can't get them out? is that an AS ASd thing, do you think? I used to get big green worm shapes that wound round and round in my head like a crazy dream Or have i said too much..... dotty.

woof

Great Thread!!! The school my son was excluded from still maintain that he is not AS, especially because: He can lie when he wants to He speaks clearly and articulately & understands lots from stories He is really bright (!) He makes jokes and understands irony often He can make eye contact, when not stressed and when doing something he's engaged in. He has good days and bad days Also, he is not like the other AS kid in the class..... who doesn't do eye contact, who (i love him to bits, by the way, and so does my son), does lots of really autie things like flapping and chewing his jumper etc.. Corin doesn't behave at all like this other kid, so according to the school, he isn't ASD... Doncha know....

when he would have been going into year 10 and was finally going to get some help and support he was permanently excluded . Hi jannyk - what is happening with your son J at the moment? Does he get any tuition from the LEA? My son is now getting 8 hrs a week from home tutors (LEA) and has his first morning in the PRU next week. It's actually a lot nicer there than i had thought it might be. I think if you look back through the posts, you'll find someone else with yr 10 boy excluded. This is such a big problem - i can hardly believe the ignorance of your son's school!!!!.....if I hadn't also been there, experienced that too..... Do you get any support for J? I am looking at setting up a support group especially for families withSpecial needs kids who have been permanently excluded from mainstream. I have 2 friends in the same town (! what does that say about our LEA i wonder) with little boys aged 7 and 5 who both have AS (one also has ADHD) and have been permanently excluded in the last three weeks. One friend took the decision to appeal, and lost - we were gutted. We were sure she'd win the case. Would you be interested in finding local support and / or other people to talk to re exclusion? I don't want to be an advisor, or talk shop, but it can be really helpful, we have found, to share knowledge of processes and rights etc.. regarding exclusions. This forum is so brilliant for that too. My son's only opportunity to really socialise with his peers is when these two friends come over, or we go there, since everyone else is in school!!! Nturally. And when i say to the SEN offic er that yes, academically C is making progress on a mere 8 hrs a week, i have to point out that academic achievement was never C's problem - social skills and learning how to manage emotions etc (autie stuff) continues to be a big issue - how can he learn social skills on his own with one adult???? I reckon its not going to happen. ANyway, ranting again. So sorry. lol lotty

extraordinary. by which i don't mean what my AS son means: really very ordinary indeed, but quite the opposite...

I've read it (as a mum) and it was brilliant. Too old for my kids though, but i did read some bits out loud to my AS son when he'd just been diagnosed at 6. Excellent book - his mum's book 200 (i think) tips and strategies for parenting a child with AS (i may have that title all wrong) was also fab. Recommend them both - the mum's book had lots of interesting stuff in little chunks, and some really nice strategies, including ABA, if anyone's interested.