Chantilly Lace

Hi Tom, my sons could identify with you as they were both bullied at school too. You sound like a great guy so don't let your lack of confidence hold you back. Its good that you are getting to grips with life now that your depression has lifted. Sandra

Thanks for your comments. He did say a while ago that having lived in a flat he knows there are major expenses and said he would pay us when he got paid enough. Now whenever we try and bring the subject up there is a major meltdown with him and I suppose as we his parents are non confrontational it all gets swept under the carpet for now. I think the job is causing him some anxiety maybe and this is his reaction. Will wait until he gets in tonight and will show him the comments here so he knows we are not trying to extort money from him!

Hi Mandapanda, I am on the forum for my elder son with AS, but the description of your son is very similar to my younger son. He was bullied at school and I was so relieved when he left as I thought he might cope better with the world outside. He got a few GCSEs and then did a year's music course at college as he loved playing guitar. He applied for many jobs afterwards but was unable to get one. He spent a year in his room playing computer games and watching TV. He didn't get into pyjamas but slept in his clothes and only took showers when we pestered him to. Apart from one friend he saw very occasionally, he had no other friends. He hated summer because it meant flies and other insects would be buzzing around, so he wouldn't even go into the garden. I managed to get him on a painting & decorating course (I had insisted that he went on a college course taster day and he chose that course). He goes 3 days a week and the other days he is back in his bedroom. I had a heart to heart with him a few months ago and he told me he had panic attacks when he was walking around the town. I took him to the doctor who referred him to a psychologist. He was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression and he is now on a cognitive therapy course which he says is helping him. Maybe to all those who have a son/daughter who stays in their room all the time, this could be the reason? Its worth a thought.. Sandra

Hello everyone, I am a newbie having found this forum after research on the internet. I have a son of 21 who was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was a child. At that time I read every book I could on the subject regarding children with AS. Years have passed and now after some difficult times with him (he is still living at home after briefly living in a flat on his own) I have gone back on the internet to see how we can try and understand why we are in constant conflict with him and how we (his parents) can handle things better. To give you some background, we are very proud of him as he has managed to get a top job with an international company who actually created a job for him involving visiting other branches of the company abroad and here in the UK implementing an invoice system he has devised. He is getting a nice company car and a good salary. In the past he ran his own business at 15 installing and programming cash registers (he was fascinated with them as a child) and worked as a security guard at an airport, but this seems to be the first permanent job. One of the clashes we have had is that we have asked him to contribute to the housekeeping for the first time in the sum of £200 a month which he can well afford, but he can't see why he should have to pay. We told him that we paid our parents when we started work and that was the order of things. We could do with the extra money as due to the recession my husband (who is self employed) has been experiencing the worst downturn in business since he started 18 years ago. We also have an 18 year old son at college also living at home who can't contribute anything. Would love to receive advice both from parents of adult AS people and adults with Aspergers. Sandra