Amelia

My 12 year old son was diagnosed yesterday with aspergers. We have to tell him this weekend as we have a large mullti-agency meeting on Monday at his school and then it may slip out from one of the teachers by accident. I would appreciate any advice on how to tell him. I have a printout from the NAS but parts of it didn't print.

I tried to use our key on Sunday as son was desparate and the other toilets were locked. It wouldn't work. I tried for ages then son couldn't wait any longer.

Update We are now on day 5 of school, 1st 3 days he went willingly then yesterday decided he didn't want to go. I have been pinched, punched & kicked before he shuts down, I put him in his buggy and eventually take him to school. The school said he had settled for the first few days better than expected. The home/school diary shows he is becoming more difficult. I am hoping for an IEP meeting soon, so we can discuss things going forward. I think I will cope better when he is full time. Thinking about booking some massages to chill out.

He doesn't have a statement. The support is 5 hours through the additional family (of school) needs fund and extra hours through the school's special needs budget. He seems to be getting more agressive and my biggest problem is having 2 boys with additional needs.

Thanks for your replies. W(4) is starting school Thursday, he was going to start after Easter but the school has changed its intake rules and now only has Sept & Jan. All the children start off for 2 weeks mornings finishing at noon but I have to collect W at 11.30 as he wont cope with assembly apparently. After 2 weeks the other children stay for school lunch with their parent then start school full time. W will carry on with me having to get him at 11.30 until they review the situation at half term towards end Feb. I can't complain as he wasn't originally going until after Easter anyway. He is going to get about 5 to 10 hours support a week. I think they will be calling me all the time anyway. He is also still in nappies.

Sorry but have to get this off my chest. Christmas has been awful. I have 2 boys (L age 10 ADHD and ASD) (W age 4 ASD). The older one winds the younger one up all the time. They both have to be 1st in everything. W keeps attacking us, hitting, pinching, biting. We feel desparate and feel abused. W starts school this week but is only being allowed to go for 21/2 hours each morning. I invited 1 sister and her family on Christmas Eve. I tried to limit the number of visitors on Christmas Day to my parents and my other sister later in the day but still had a few uninvited guests. Since then none of our family has rang. No one has returned our entertaining. Next year I don't think we are having Christmas.

Thanks, I know there is not much to say. Just thought typing it may help me think about it as I just feel numb.

My son's Chromasone tests have just shown he has an invertion on number 5. Which may explain his problems. We have to now go for genetic counselling and he has to go when he grows up.

Both IEPs were very positive but left me feeling rubish. I feel that they can cope so well and that I must be ###### at it. There was a lady there who no one introduced and everyone was refering to a report from the specialist SALT but I didn't have a copy. I know I should have asked but somehow I didn't. I was kept waiting for 15 mins after my appointment time so I was irritated to start with. They called elder child in for 10mins, he said he has loads of friends, and is very happy. When he got home he was screaming, sobbing and hitting himself for 1 1/2 hours about how he hates school and how he hates the children for being mean to him. So I don't know what to think.

I am feeling a little more positive this week. We saw the psychologist last Wednesday and he agreed to put DS2 on his list officially. I see him for both children but could only make appointments for DS1. Am awaiting an another appointment soon, at another venue with child care so I don't have to destroy son's self confidence any further. I have decided to ask each professional that we see "What happens next?" rather than try and work it out myself. We have had lots of meltdowns today. DS2 pinched and beat up my OH, but left me alone this time. We have both IEPs tomorrow and I am ready this time

Thanks I did look for Help course. Wasn't one in my area either. I didn't know about registering though.

Thanks he will be 4 towards the end of August. He was refered to Dietician as he will mostly only eat dry things and things that are whole (not broken or a piece missing.) He was refusing to eat at all at one time. Now everything has to have a separate dish. Just trying to do my best for him and can't help thinking i don't know enough. It doesn't help that friends and relatives think we are making it all up.

Hi My youngest son was diagnosed ASD in December last year. I feel that much of the information I have gained has been almost by accident, eg bumping in to someone who asked have you heard of this etc. I wish there was someone who could lead me through all this. I don't know if I am assessing or receiving all the available support or services for him. I would like to know if anyone has/had a liason worker or similar to support them. We have SALT, dietician, paediatrician and are waiting to see a psychologist.

Will be thinking of you and your daughter on the 21st. Hope she is ok. My son is on the waiting list for his tonsils to be removed as they are large and meet in the middle. He had his adenoids out a year ago as xrays showed he had no airway down his nose. They said they are not allowed to do tonsils until age 4. He has sleep apnoea too. Regards

Thanks for your ideas and advice. It wasn't something I had to think about until now.

Hi We have just been out for the day in a city centre. DS is nearly 4 but still wears nappies. I found it difficult to find somewhere suitable to change him. He was too large to fit on most of the baby changing tables etc. I was a bit concerned about just laying him on a dirty floor even with his changing mat that I carry with us. It must be even more difficult as they grow older and still need nappies. Looking for advice

Thanks Shortie I had a assertive moment and thought this isn't good enough. I phone my Inclusion worker and asked for more details. She is going to get me a leaflet.

Hi folks Not sure if this is correct place for this. Sorry if it's not. I had a meeting on Friday at home with new Speech and language Specialist and our Inclusion support lady. I was asked if I wanted to be referred to 2 different projects. My head was buzzing and I felt bombarded. I felt that my brain is full and didn't seem to take in what they said. I agreed to "More than Words" as long as I can get childcare. The other project was called something like UCAP or ECAP and would be instead of inclusion support. I didn't know whether to go for this or not. I don't think it was explained very well. Anyone know where I can get my brain enlarged to take in all this new information. (DS1 age 91/2 ADHD, possible ASD, DS2 3 3/4 ASD)

Thanks for all your replys. He goes to main stream school nursery. I have an inclusion services lady and she is coming to visit on Friday with a new specialist speech and language therapist. I am going to bring this up with them. Elder son has ADHD and eye problems. On Sunday elder son told him as soon as they got up that we were going to look around the shops. (We were going for summer shoes) He went straight to tamtrum mode. I got his makaton symbols out and showed him we were going to get dressed, go in car , shops, buy shoes, buy Buzz Lightyear (toy story is current obsession), home. This seemed to calm him down. When we were all ready to go, I took him through it again and then we left straight away. He was quite calm in the car and the day went well. He still hates going out but I hope this will pass. Regards Amelia

Hi My son is 3 and 3/4. He has ASD. Recently he has developed a really bad temper. Anything can set him off. He goes crazy waves his arms and shakes his head. He keeps trying to push the TV off its stand. He has been hitting me, OH and his 9 year old brother. We were going to meet OH this evening at the supermarket for weekly shop. Which I can't do alone due to back prob. Younger son wouldn't have his shoes on I put them on 4 times and he took them off again and proceeded to beat me up. I decided to cancel our arrangement as I was still in pain from having to carry him away from the park yesterday. I feel that I am being controlled by him and his brother who has ADHD. I would have taken him with no shoes but couldn't carry him to the car as he is quite heavy now. Any advice appreciated

Hi My son is 3 years and 9months and has ASD as a diagnosis. Over the weekend he developed really horible behaviour. His voice became loud and croaky much like heard in horror films. He was attacking his Dad, me and his brother. He tried to push the TV off its stand many times. He seemed completely out of control. This happened about 6 times. I am going to ring the psychologist but thought I would post anyway. His speach is about of a 2 year old. Any ideas?

Hi I have two sons age 9 ADHD and undiagnosed ASD, age 3 1/2 ASD diagnosed December 2005. Regards Amelia

Hi We noticed spots on my son last Wednesday evening which turned out to be Chicken Pox too. He has had 2 nights of screaming all night but seems to be a little better now. We have tried the oatmeal in muslin and this helped. He doesn't like the calamine. We have found it most difficult as he doesn't speak alot and couldn't or wouldn't say what was hurting. Hope your son gets better soon.