Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by robert7111a

  1. Hi Aviemorticia I have ordered a couple of Sarah Hendrickx's books - thanks for the recommendation. Looking forward to reading
  2. Dear Aviemorticia I'm sorry if I sounded a bit negative but I can't see an easy way out of my situation. Also I can't go into too much detail here, not because of strangers, but because I think somebody at work knows I am on this forum (and therefore knows my position). Without giving too much away, the biggest problem (for me) is that I have 3 children to support, have been in the same routine for 4-5 years and the last change of job (and relocation) was a huge upheaval and so stressful that I hoped I would never have to go through it again. I have noted your links and will take a look
  3. Hi, I was particularly interested in the redundancy guide but easier said than done. Although you make some good points, many will not work for me. 1. Redundancy means I can't pay the mortgage or afford to run my car. (have you seen the cost of public transport in London lately?) 2. I am too old to be employed elsewhere (given the current climate) and nobody else would touch me with a barge pole 3. I am skilled in a particular professional field 4. Redundancies are already happening in my field so finding another job elsewhere in this field is totally out of the question 5. I am terrified and resistant to change 6. Redundancy would put me into a spiral of depression as I won't know what to do (I have been there before and I could not cope) 7. Redundancy would eliminate all that I have worked for This list is far from exhaustive I know I need to prepare myself so any help would be useful
  4. Hi pinklaces34 I'm an Aspergers Dad. When I was 28, I still had no idea why I was "different" and had trouble making friends. I think my daughter could be on the spectrum. Like you, I find sitting in front of the computer at the end of the day calming and relaxing. My wife could be stressing out doing household chores and sometimes gets a bit mad, though she is very understanding of my condition. I read "An Aspergers Marriage" and "22 things a woman should know about men with Aspergers" and it's opposite: "22 things a man should know about women with Aspergers" (sorry can't remember authors).
  5. Sounds like autistic traits to me. I wonder if this is also hyperlexia
  6. The "D" usually stands for "Difference" but this word does not have the same connotation in "ASD". Perhaps we should make up a new meaning to "ASD". Autistic Spectrum D............ answers on a postcard please
  7. This is a difficult one. Hospitals are generally busy, busy places with crowded waiting rooms and staff rushed off their feet often doing the work of 3 - 4 people. This means hospitals cannot make allowances for every possible individual's needs. Although I sympathise with you, did you not know that hospital waiting rooms are crowded and noisy? If you have to go through this again, perhaps you should plug your ears to muffle the sounds slightly or an iPod and just look around and take note from which direction names are being called. It's not much difference really from boarding a crowded train or walking through a busy shopping mall. Would you complain to the management of the shopping mall and request they make it a silent zone to suit you? Knowing hospital consultants like I do, they do not have time to read a whole set of casenotes before they see you: they just read the appropriate referral letter from your GP or referring doctor. If your conditions are not mentioned in the referral letter, the consultant is not going to know, let alone give you special treatment. S)he just does not have the time. Ok, there is no excuse for this consultant shouting at you but remember, you do have the right to request a second opinion from someone else. If you have problems with accents then you know that you need to sharpen up your listening skills and focus. It is easy to apportion blame especially when you had a bad experience but - had everything gone well and smoothly, would you have written to the hospital to express your satisfaction and gratitude...?
  8. Hi there I have a peculiar relationship with sound. For example I can tolerate particular types of LOUD sounds but not others. And I notice there is a correlation between this and stress levels. I cannot bear the sounds of babies constantly crying LOUDLY, yet I can easily tolerate (and enjoy) the sound of a Harrier jet taking off or the sound of the older InterCity 125's at start-up (noise levels well in excess of 120dB). I used to love the noise of Concorde in the days when one was allowed to visit the viewing platform at Heathrow. I like my music up loud at home (if I could get away with it...) or through headphones but can't stand the loud noise of the TV which happens to be near where I'm sitting at my PC. I can listen to loud music from my PC or iPod through headphones but cringe when the adverts come on the TV. Although my tolerance to loud music doesn't wane when I'm tired, my tolerance to the TV or babies crying encessently is dramatically reduced. I tend to hear all sounds at the same time (e.g. clocks ticking, the buzz of flourescent lights, people talking etc) but am to some degree able to filter out what I don't want to hear - unless I'm doing hard study whereupon ALL noise is a distraction.
  9. Sounds like you have heatstroke. Rest, plenty of fluids and keep cool. Good luck with the interview - hope you get the job...
  10. Hi girlracer76 May I also add the following... you mention that his reading and spelling is well above his age but what is his reading comprehension like. Does he understand what he has read?
  11. Evening all Having worked through further "life discoveries" of late, I have found a name for my fascination with numbers and poor comprehension - (but I know I am dyscalculic which is completely separate from my fascination with train/bus numbers during the 1980s). I never realised until recently that improving social skills plays a big part in improving reading comprehension. I really don't "get" literature, I can't make inferences etc. Any ideas for improving reading comprehension apart from improving social skills...?
  12. Hello Emma I went to reply to your post yesterday but got distracted so wasn't able to Probably a bit late now but how did you get on at the doctor's today?
  13. SmileyK you need to "let go" of some of this emotional "baggage". This is choking you and stopping you from moving on. Work on one small thing at a time...i.e take baby steps rather than trying to tackle everything at once.
  14. Hi SmileyK Yes, anxiety can certainly take over our mind and choke our free thinking. Negative thoughts and beliefs become imprisoned as the mind profiterates. Something I've been trying to do for years is to "let go", i.e. to "free the mind" of obsessive, negative thoughts. Does anyone have the answer?
  15. Marriage works for me...and my wife. Although I am not officially diagnosed what I have makes no difference to her as to who I am. I am still the same person she married. Don't let any professional tell you that marriage doesn't work if one person has AS (or whatever)
  16. I went through major depression from November up to around the end of January. I hadn't been this depressed since the late 1990s. One of the triggers was that my boss started picking on me again and making me feel inferior and useless. He is very good at lowering my confidence and making me doubt myself. But I enjoy the work that I do and have a lot of autonomy - this has helped me get through. There is nothing worse than being told that I'm no good and him telling junior staff to disrespect me. It is all about confidence. You need to believe in yourself. If you feel low and depressed, this will rub off on other people who might then give you a wide berth. Is the workload getting on top of you or do you actually believe you're not up to the mark? Do you have a buddy you can talk to?
  17. What was the expression on her face? Smiling? Dirty look? Disapproval? Don't worry, I used to get it often until I realised I looked for too long. I used to think it was because I either look weird or ugly. Perhaps it was the expression on your face...?
  18. Hi Minerva Keep your CV to a max of 2 pages. Keep it to the point and start with your last (relevant) employer first. Don't write to much about "caring for my child with Aspergers." on the CV. It might be a big deal to you but educational law covers far more than special needs etc (and I'm certainly no expert on this subject). If the prospective employer is remotely interested in your experiences, s)he will ask you at the interview. Good luck!
  19. I forgot to ask...what is an electronic cigarette ?????
  20. I smoked at 15 and could buy "singles" from the local shop near my school for 10p each. It was certainly a form of release. Personally I don't think you can stop him but at least he and you are talking about it. He's obviously at that age where he wants to try stuff and old enough to make his own choices and understand the health implications. I knew I would get a good hiding from my father had he found out. My mum smoked at the time and I used to nick the odd one without her noticing.
  21. Hi L M J I think you need to ask yourself the question: "will obtaining a diagnosis make any difference to me (i.e. you)?" Are you just looking for confirmation/closure or are you looking for official assistance, i.e. help to get employment/financial assistance etc. I only "found out" the reason for my difficulties fairly recently which has brought about a huge sense of relief (although I was depressed for a short time wondering who I was). But I have come out the other side and having found answers to my many problems has enabled me to start doing something about it. Perhaps a little too late on one hand but on the other hand, I have managed to survive through life. Good luck in what you decide!
  22. Isn't it a thing where one can be too honest and not understand social lies - i.e. put one's foot in it?
  23. Yes Has kept me in cameras/lenses and has helped me enormously with some social skills My dream of an ideal career was quoshed when I was 18 but I'm in a job that I really enjoy Never been on the dole...yet...I'm waiting for the grim reaper...
  24. I think we had a similar topic on this before. Low level noise does seem to have an impact on several people and this can possibly be narrowed down to two things: either we have a reduced threshold of tolerance to such sounds - or, the normal squelch function of our efferent auditory system is lacking. Of course nobody likes sudden loud and impulsive noise and particularly late in the evening when I've had enough of the day, noisy motorbikes racing up my street sound like a jet engine at take-off and startles me. The trouble is on the one hand, wearing earplugs helps block out low level noise, yet on the other hand this desensitises the hearing system so that we can never get used to hearing these sounds (and I'm only talking about low level or soft noise). What I would dearly love at times is to have an automatic noise gate that can completely shut off impulsive loud noises but our auditory systems are not that efficient.
  25. The problem is...WE vote for the government...then they renenge on their word...
  • Create New...