Eva

Hi all, need a bit of advice! My son is 6 (AS) and he's in the first year of school (we call it Prep). He's doing quite well, managing the writing side of things, (he's not the worst in the class anyway!), and he's streets ahead in reading. The main problem is his lack of focus. Once the teacher sets a task he spends ages fiddling around getting ready, then he'll write one letter and look around and fidgets and then with a prompt he'll do another letter then fidgets and mucks around, and with prompting he'll do another letter...I know this because I'm a parent-helper in the classroom a couple of mornings of a week and I end up doing the prompting. Are there any strategies that can be used to encourage him to write a word without losing concentration after (virtually) each letter? The question of ADD has been raised but the teacher and my son's OT don't think he has it, but I'm not sure. Thanks for any advice! Eva

Hi, thanks for all your fantastic replies!! The broken toy analogy is good one, I might give that a go. (The potential problem is that when/if J gets ill, he might decide he's like a broken toy and will die...). I'll also try to be very logical in my approach - he'll like that. I hate fibbing but I'm finding that the truth about certain things is too much. Recently I was reading some info about the sun, (DS is interested in the solar system), and I read that bit about the sun exploding in a few million year's time. Poor DS got very anxious and worried about that too, so I told him the good news - scientists have changed their minds and the sun's not going to explode anymore. Deedee, that's such a heart-wrenching thing for your son to say - these kids think in such amazing ways. Mel, I like the approach of 'some people believe that...'. You're right, it could be more comforting for a small child. All your ideas and suggestions have been really helpful. It's funny how a common age for worrying about death seems to start at around 5 or 6. I hope your mum is going to be okay Lisa <'> . The whole thing is so hard, isn't it. Cheers all, Eva

Hi Oxgirl, if you came to Australia then you'd have to put up with MY awful family One of my brother's has 5 year old twins who, no kidding, are exactly like the twins on Fireman Sam - the really annoying dobbers who don't do anything naughty. They even look like them them. So I have to put up with the constant comparisons, such as, O and R just love imaginative play, J doesn't does he...and so on and on. My mum recently decided the difference is because my brother and his wife have an "intellectual style of parenting" - I haven't asked her what style of parenting DH and I have! Cheers, Eva

My ds does the throat clearing a lot too! I took him to the doc's and he said that clearing the throat all the time puts more strain on it (or something like that anyway) and to try drinking water or coughing instead... Sometimes the noise drives me crazy - it gets louder and louder! Eva

Hi all, I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on what to say to my son (he's 6). He's recently been getting very anxious about dying. My MIL passed away a couple of years ago and my partner told ds that she's now in the clouds, which at the time he accepted. Now though he's asking how old are you when you die and if we'll die. At first I thought he was asking, how old is old (how he phrased the question) and I said 70ish but he took that to mean that's when people die. So then I changed it to 500 because he was getting so upset and stressed, and told him that we won't die. Ds came up with the idea that when we get to 70 we'll go back to being 1 again (if only) and he's insistent that this will be the case. He's also got another theory that people in families won't die but people without families will - don't know how he came up with that one! I suppose I'm after anyone's thoughts on how to tell things as they are without being scary, if that is possible! Any advice weclome!! Eva

Hi llisa32, hard work isn't it! I know exactly what you're going through, my son's the same, he has to dictate everthing. I've found - like you - the best thing to do is to have an activity, such as swimming or go to a playground. Actually what's made things quite good at the moment is that my son's best friend is a boy who doesn't speak/understand much English, so there's not much talking going on but a lot of chasy . Hope the playdate gets better, let us know! Cheers, Eva

Happy Mother's Day Frangipani!! (Why don't the emoticons work anymore?). My ds who's 3 made me a card and some bikkies at kinder, (which he ate), and ds (6) made me a card at school and he wrote (legibly too!) 'I love you'! DH, (he got me one of those beanies with the long ears), got up with the boys this morning, (of course they chose today to sleep in), and we all had bacon and eggs for brekky. Soon we're going to my parents place to eat cake - so much for the diet. Hope you have a lovely day Frangi - did I tell you I went to Sydney last months (we've been having computer problems and I haven't been online for yonks)? We were the only people in Lane Cove wearing jeans and long-sleeved tops! Happy mother's Day everyone, Eva

Now what exactly is a chav? (Sounds like what we call 'bogans'). Do chavs wear certain types of clothes and talk in a particular way, (accent and expressive language), and inhabit certain areas and drive certain types of cars? Hev, I'd like to go on holidays with you!! I've got two boys who can be hyper and love playing chasy in restaurants... Cheers, Eva

Have a lovely time Frangipani!! (I'm sure you will! : ). I wonder where you are going...venturing interstate? Take care, Eva

Talking about creepy crawlies, do you have Drop Bears in Britain? Frangipani, do you get many White-tailed spiders? We seem to get heaps and they give very nasty bites, the bitten area swells up like a balloon, but contrary to urban myth, (I've found this out recently), the poison doesn't spread and melt your skin. That's a different spider bite. Cheers, Eva

Hi everyone, Frangipani and I have beaten you to Easter Sunday! It's 7.30am here and already we've had tears, laughter, good times and bad times. DS started crying in his bed around 6am because he thought the Easter Bunny hadn't visited our house, (he had probably been awake since 5 stewing), so I got up and showed him some eggs which I'd put in the little basket he'd made at school. He was so happy he even shared some with me (nothing like compound chocolate first thing), then we got up and he 'discovered' the bunny's footprints in the living room and another basket of eggs (my DH is right into this) and the boys have been stuffing themselves ever since. We are going to down to the beach today - can you imagine the collective mood later on today !?! I can't face anymore chocolate - there IS too much of a good thing! We've managed to avoid any family get togethers - we'll just commune with the sun and the sand . Eva

Rats, I really liked the sickly sweet taste of the old version! Eva OUCH! My fault entirely for starting this thread - but we can't actually name names! I'll be copy/pasting this in all subsequent posts too, but if anyone else is adding fresh stuff to the topic, please tread carefully! L&P BD

Frangipani, I was being serious about the cockroaches - i meant the real ones, the huge disgusting indestructible things! My brother and I used to go out at night with fly swats having a competition over who could flatten the most. Gross. Eva

I was just thinking how much I hate the holidays! J is being impossible, really silly and annoying. He's topped off a very long, trying day by scribbling on the computer screen (and on everything else) with a permanent black marker. He's just turned 6. We use bribes all the time. In fact I've realised that the real reason why I organise things to do is so I can use them as a form of bribery, (aka, behaviour management ). I've got a sore throat now from telling him off. Eva

Well, it's all quiet down here. What Tsunami warning ? My brother and his family are in Sydney at the moment and my sil said that channel 7 interviewed them at Manly beach because they hadn't left despite the warning - she was made to look like a bad mother .( Apparently the tv crew spent a long time interviewing a tanned, skinny, beautiful pommy woman! ) I don't live anywhere near the beach, our water tank is the closet body of water so we're safe. Hope your daughter doesn't get too stressed about it, must be scary though. Hey, I'm coming to Sydney for the day later this month! Are the cockroaches in hybernation now ? Eva

Hi everyone, we had the most fantastic day out yesterday. We went on Puffing Billy - it's a steam/diesal train - and it was great fun. It was for my son's birthday as he turned 6. We went with some friends and for those of you who might remember, Sojourned came too. He was fantasitc with my son, (keeping an eye on him and pulling him into line every now and again ), and was great to have along - especially as he brought along a pizza he had made himself - including the base - and it was delicious . Now just have to get through the next couple of weeks - gotta love the school holidays... Cheers, Eva

Hi Jonathan, in Melbourne a snow cone is something drug related - but who knows what it could be in Sydney! Don't forget that Sydney was settled by convicts and Melbourne by free settlers! (Just having a dig too Frangipani! ) Cheers, Eva

Hi Frangipani, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!! Sounds like you had a lovely day!! Cheers, Eva

Thanks J's mum, your reply is really helpful. I forgot to mention that my J has AS too - he was diagnosed last year. I think I'll talk to J's teacher and we can do the test if he gets any worse. J manages to fidget with things walking from our living to the bathroom. Sometimes I have to follow him as he just can't help reaching out and mucking around with things along the way. Also, we've found that he's 'listening' less and less and to get him to answer a question you have to ask him about 4 or 5 times. Drives me crazy!! Is that an ADD thing, an AS thing or am I just really boring? (Husband also has a delayed response time to things I say ). Cheers, Eva

Happy birthday Hev <'> Make sure you celebrate when you're over the cold!! Cheers, Eva

Hi Jonathan, I'm from Melbourne. Watch out for those Sydneysiders - they're not as civilised as us Melbournites ! Cheers, Eva

So sorry to hear that Frangipani <'> <'> <'> . How awful, <'> <'> . Take care, Eva

Hi everyone, our psyche told us at the end of last year that my son (6) could possibly have ADD - or it may be a case of poor executive functioning (which I think is the motivation to attend to tasks? Haven't read up on it yet...) J daydreams, he finds it hard to concentrate... unless it's something he's into, he fidgets like anything, inattentive and argumentative. He also has sensory needs so requires lots of jumping/bouncing activities and activities where he can use his upper body. So then, at what point do you decide to medicate? The psyche did mention something about Ritalin at our last visit. My son has just started prep so his anxiety levels have increased and he's regressed a bit since last year. Thanks for any comments! Eva

Hi Hev, good topic! My other son Michael is 3 and NT and is just the same...except over the past couple of days he's discovered he doesn't even need a nappy for doing a poo . He refuses to use the toilet or potty - no reason except he says 'I can't'. He's starting kinder next week and kids are meant to be fully toilet trained I need advice too! Cheers, Eva

Hi Frangipani! Well, yes the blackouts were pretty bad. It was 40 degrees yesterday and suddenly the power went. AS son who was finally happy using the computer, got a bit annoyed (understatement) but eventually we all settled down (I was freaking out because our house was getting hotter and hotter ) and the boys actually managed to amuse themselves with toys! Three and a half hours later the power was restored. Now the thing was, the experts were talking about 'load sharing' but I haven't read anywhere about any of the more affluent areas having THEIR power cut off so we could have some! At 10.30pm last night it was 34 degrees but the boys slept reallly well. Grumpy today though. (The smoke from the bushfires has been awful some days and the bushfires are still going strong). So that's about it in Victoria! How are things in NSW? I'm so over summer - I might move to Tasmania ! Cheers, Eva