Jump to content

NaneysMum

Members
  • Content Count

    6
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About NaneysMum

  • Rank
    Norfolk Broads

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://

Profile Information

  • Location
    Scotland
  1. My nine year old daughter has an ASD (atypical / idosyncratic / NOS - so picky with labels!) which has been apparent to me since she was five - though I couldn't put a name to it then - and looking back there were signs from babyhood. I also have a son who is four and a half. He is very different from his sister ...... but.... I am noticing quirks in him which could also be explained by ASD. Some of these could be learned from his sister - she constantly asks if I'm happy, he does sometimes too or will ask "is that a cross face you've got on?" - but some seem all his own. Ainz is very sensitive to noise - she cant tolerate it at all. The little one doesn't mind noise but has a thing about smell - he gets quite extactic about nice smells like shower gell (like a cat with cat mint), will announce it loudly if anyone around him has a body odour or flatulance problem and cant eat if anyone else is eating someting he can smell. Strangey though he cant seem to differentialte between smells - they are just nice or nasty. His diet is attrocious - yoghurt for breakfast, fish and waffles for lunch, chicken nuggets and chips for tea and yoghurt again for supper - EVERY day. And god help us if there is no tomato sauce. My daughter eats pretty much every thing so long as they obey the rules - no touching, bread must be warm, meat must be "clean" - no gravy/sauce etc. etc. etc. He does seem to has more social skills and certainly has WAY more interest in other children than Ainsley had at that age - he seeks out company and was sad when his friend left nursery, she didn't know the names of the kids in her class, still doen't really have friends and has never saught out company. Please tell me I'm being too sensitive. I'm getting worried about him starting school in August - thats when things blew up for Ainsley. I love both my kids to pieces and cant bare thought of his happy little self being burried under the stresses his sister struggles with.
  2. Once more I'm cheering "It's not just me!" Sorry that sounds so insensative to your problems - I do sympathise I really do. Its just that before I found this forum I felt SO alone with all this. And I though it must be me - bad parenting. My daughter is distressed going to school and needs to be pushed/pulled through the doors but "she's fine" once she in, though she takes some time to settle. She's all smiles as she comes out but once our front door is closed she transforms into some kind of monster! I thinks she so buttoned down in school it has to come out somehow and as she cant talk about whats troubling her, her only outlet is rage. Not everyday - it depends whats been going on but her behaviour after school is a barometer of the pressure she's been under but its only days or weeks later you get an inkling of what this is. I've tried chill out time but it dosen't seem to help - mostly I just grit my teeth and let her unload. Not much fun for us - increasingly distressing for her little brother - but it entertains the neighbours.
  3. I cant imagine any one using this genuinely for all the reasons already posted. (And dare I suggest that sometimes kids with ASDs are naughty). More likely by the kind of person Katie Grant thinks we all are. My appologise to anyone who really finds it helpful - what ever gets you through the day.
  4. Thanks Simon, and everyone else, for your welcome and support. No I haven't really considered a special school/unit for A. Up till now I had found her school reasonably supportive, if unwilling to involve us. Its a small school, very close to home and is A's only link to the community she lives in. I still think its the best place for her at present and prehaps I just need to get stronger in dealing with them and educating them about her needs. I have high hopes for the new Head too. Part of my frustration is, I think, that now I have some confirmation of her having ASD and as I learn more about ASDs, I see the ways we are failing her. Now I just need them to see it!! Secondary school might be different. The very idea terrifies me. She wont cope in a big school with lots of different teachers and class groups and moving between classes. I'm not sure she'll even be able to recognise her teachers as she tends to focus on one physical aspect of new people so if there are two red haired teachers in school she has no chance! Still, we have two years to get a handle on things - I wont burn that bridge till I come to it! And no she doesn't have a statement - I'm not sure I know what it involves. One more thing on the list to research! Thanks again - its great to know that somewhere someone is listening!
  5. Like Zaman - my daughter dosen't get abusive (thankfully, (sadly?)) She gets upset / afraid. She repeats "sorry, sorry, sorry" over and over and actually cowers. You'd think she was used to being beaten with a stick for the slightest misdemeanor. Her class teacher has remarked on it when he has been trying to help by reminding her of one of the (endless) things she forgets. "Remember to take a new page" said calmly and kindly gets "sorry, sorry, sorry" and a cringe. Anything not 110% full positive seems to be interpreded as raging anger. Her brother spills his juice "Oh no!" - "sorry, sorry, sorry". "CAR!" as she steps into the road - "sorry, sorry, sorry". I try to keep my voice and actions calm but I couldn't, and probably shouldn't, be totally unemotional. I also try to explain "I'm not angry, I needed to warn you and I was afraid" but it dosen't seem to make any difference. She also asks me endlessly if I'm happy. Sometimes I'm happy at the beginning but having to unclench my teeth to reassure her later! I say "Sure I'm happy". I think "HAPPY!! B****y HAPPY!!!!!!!!! WHO COULD BE HAPPY WITH THIS TO CONTEND WITH". But I guess I should be glad if my happiness is important to her.
  6. Hi everyone. I feel a bit of a fraud posting on this site. My daughter's problems seem mild compared with what some of you are struggling with. But its been a bad day - I've been unable to hold my own with school, my mum has told me she's just "at it" and the neighbours have had a field day watching Ainsley scream abuse at me and her little brother. Most days are better. Ainsley is nine and is a very stressed and unhappy little girl. She has no friends and has progressed, over the past 18 months, for from saying "its so hard I would rather be dead" to writing notes about "why I should murder myself" yet her school think the main target on her IEP should be "come into school willingly on 3 out of 5 days". If I hear anyone say "attention seeking" once more they will see "challenging behaviour"!!! She was first referred to EVERYONE when she was 5 - school were concerned about the difference in her performance across the ciriculum - she could count, read and talk (to teachers when she knew what was expected) like a 10 year old but couldn't write anything you could read - and her behaviour - e.g. tearing up other kids work, knocking over chairs etc. This was attention seeking - bad writting got her one-to-one - and as I'd just had another baby it was all down to that. Education psychology suggested, tentatively, that she had "communication difficulties - a wide vocabulary but copied adult speach patterns" and "significant but idiosyncratic learning difficulties" and possibly dyspraxia (to explain the handwritting) and referred her to everyone else. By the time she actually got to see everyone else (she was 6/7) she was coping better. OT laughed dyspraxia out of the room - she'll never make a gymnast and prefers to eat with her fingers when she can get away with it but she could ride a bike, a scooter etc and she walked the line and drew the square for them. Speach therapy thought she probably had pragmatic difficulties but didn't require intervention. And clinical psychology thought that because she went to Brownies every week she was not disabled by her lack of social skills. And she was coping better. And I was afraid of "labels". And I let it go. And she struggled on. She cant cope with lots of thing most kids enjoy - groups, noise, surprises. She is now more aware of her differences especially her lack of friends (though I'm not sure she knows what a friend is). She is totally freaked by change - redecorating the house was a nightmare and changes of staff at school lead to the latest crisis. School janitor, head and secretary all changed last term. Secretary was the biggest blow 'cos she organised rounders and that was Ainsley's only way of playing with the other kids. The Easter holiday was awful - she started worrying about going back to the last day of school and started hiding notes about murdering herself. So back to clinical psychology who said she appears to have ASD NOS. Not Aspergers (which I've worried about since she was ~5) because she has some empathy and social interaction. I never thought I'd be glad to hear such a thing about my child but I was. She not bad or mad. She's a wonderful little girl having a hard time coping with the rest of us. And she's settled down a bit. I though school would listen now and knew the new Head was reveiwing all IEPs so made an appointment to feed back. Target 1 - Ainsley will go willingly into class 3 ot of 5 days. Focussed on their problem with her behaviour not her problem of being unable to interact with other kids so clinging to me till the bell goes and I push her while a teacher pulls her. Tried to reassure me that she "looks normal" in class! I don't think I made them understand. I don't think they care. I've rambled on. To anyone who's got this far - thank you. I've got another half bottle before another day. And it will probably be better. She is a sweet child and I wouldn't swap her or her issues - I just wish I could help her be happier.
×
×
  • Create New...