musiq

Hi. I would welcome advice from other members regarding a difficult situation. I have a foreign partner whose son has ASD. He has now reached ten years old. From his early diagnosis i have provided for his education (not free as in U.K). Previously he attended a special school in his home country and the last three years he has attended a regular school that also caters to students with special needs. My worry is that he has not developed speech during this time (although he makes noises and can understand speech and commands). He's a lovely boy, very gentle and generally does not pose the difficulties which i know other children can exhibit. My concern is his lack of speech. I know that some people with ASD never develop speech and i am aware of this possibility. However, my worry is that i can't stop thinking about whether he would be better off receiving education in the U.K which could possibly bring along his ability to speak rather that that which he is receiving at present. I do not have experience of trying to gain education for ASD children in the U.K but have read and seen many TV debates where people have expressed their frustration at the lack of, or length of time to receive any provision. Therefore, i am quite confused as to if he would be any better off than where he is at present. I wouldn't want him to leave the schooling he has in place to come here and receive no correct provision. It's not about the money - i don't mind paying although it is very difficult. On top of this would be visa's etc which would take along time and would not be guaranteed as my partner and i are not married - although i think even if you are, immigration is so tight at the moment that it would still not be a dead cert. I guess what i'm looking for is to hear other members experiences which may enable me to more clearly decide one way or another. I would particularly be interested in hearing from other members whose children also suffer lack of speech and any insight they can give as well as general comments on the realities and time frame involved in trying to gain specialist provision in the U.K. All comments appreciated, many thanks.

Hi. Thanks for your additional comments. The 'itchy' scenario makes sense - i think my partner has started using boxers as well. These would probably provide less irritation as well, particularly in a hot climate where they live. As you suggest, perseverance is the key and maybe as in your experience it will take time to effectively manage the situation. Many thanks.

Hi. Thanks for your comments. I will check previous post. My partners mum has suggested as you mention. Obviously this is natural behavior but i was thinking he was slightly too young to be starting this but maybe not from your comments. I realize every child is different so maybe its time for him. As you say trying to stop this behavior like anything else he may do causes frustration so i will ask my partner to experiment with this course of action. Many thanks.

Hi. New to forum. My partners son is ten and has autism. My partner lives abroad with her son so i am not permanently with them. He does not have speech ability, so communication is sometimes difficult although he does understand speech and commands. He is well developed for his years and has recently started signs of puberty. (Apologies if i am being too graphic but i don't know how else to put it). About a year ago he started touching his genitals. In the last month my partner says he is doing this daily and has found him to have masturbated on occasions. My partner tries to deter him from doing so but he is becoming aggressive when she tries to stop him. Obviously all males go through this experience but we both feel he is too young to be participating in such activity. Further, my partner is worried that he will engage in such activity when they are in public and is worried about the consequences. I would appreciate hearing any other members experiences, tips, suggestions etc of effective measures to try and manage or stop such activity. I would also be interested in hearing of experiences of those parents who have gone through the whole of puberty/adulthood with their children and how they have dealt with this issue. Both myself and my partner are very concerned about this and the problems it presents and would appreciate your comments. Many thanks.