Hey SmileyK, i've just registered on this site, I've been around since the sixties!! and have found what's wrong (or different with me). I little over 25 years ago, I felt the same way, life was bad, nothing was going right, I'd lost my wife (she left me) and there was nothing and nobody who I could turn to. I ended up drinking a litre of sherry a day and finally put a loaded gun to my head and cocked the trigger, nobody was going to miss me! I never did pull that trigger and fought hard to get meaning back into my life. Today, I've got a beautiful wife of 22 years, two lovely children and I do a lot of charity work and also work with children. I have days and weeks where I find it hard to cope, but I put my goal in life to help and love others. Inside my head I still have arguments with myself and sometimes don't know where to turn, but there are people, like you will have, that are there to listen and help. We're all here for each other. I'm not a medical expert, but I know myself and I know of those that have self harmed. Share your life with your family and your friends, thay are there to help in their own special way, nobody is an island and we're all in it together, and together we'll go forward. We're like little batteries, the more we physically or mentally drain ourselves, the lower we become, you're tired because you're mentally drained. You have already made a good move by talking on this forum, have a chat with your doc too like chris54 advised, they are good listeners too you know. You take care of yourself, you are, after all, precious to more people than you think.
