rosieshy

hi and welcome. i live in Elgin. i have suspected aspergers but definately some form of ASD. im 27 and undiagnosed because teachers were useless at spotting i. put the fact i prefer beig on my own....down t the bullying i was already suffering due to having cerebral palsy. but through my own research basically came to that conclusion its what ive got as it fits from what my mum remembers of me when i was younger.

hi im 27, nearly 28 with undiagnosed ASD probable aspergers im new here myself.

Really, lizard eh you learn something new every day . wow Lola was it really this year?! , id heard it was shutting next year. shame that . i used to live in calne from 1986-1992( i was 2-8yrs old). we left in the september of 1992. Before that from 85-86 we lived on hastings drive in Lyneham - not that i can remember!). I was born in Germany- in an RAF Hospital. My dad was at Brize in the 70s. No I didnt, visit the computer centre Lola, not that i can remember. i know from google maps Calne has changed LOADS ....as towns do! but i still recognise most of it surprisingly. my long term memory is ace, especially for what people were wearing strangely enough...hmm?, but my short term memory is well pretty rubbish. welcome to the forum

Hi Lola great to meet another reader of Aspergirls. felt EXACTLY as you did after reading it....i feklt the weight off my shoulders. yes i too am undiagnosed at 27, nearly 28, and the book is just totally me in too many ways . unfortunately i cant get a diagnosis as there's no one locally, or in scotland that diagnoses adults. i used to live near swindon - calne - my dad was in the RAF at Lyneham. i dont have an interest or aptitude for maths or science mainly due to a brain haemlorrhage at birth causing cerebral palsy, so my maths is useless. however i love history and dates and am an amatuer genealogist so get to use a few of my favourite things....computers and history . i also have som sort of psychic sensitivity and have 2 cats, one whos very spiritual and seems to see things i cant! The other is 19 and very old. whats a gecko? never heard of those!

thanks Jenny. i know my mum is cautious too, for me about meeting new folk/potential friends as im so trusting and naive because i think/expect all people to be as honest and trustworthy and loyal as i am . The lad i was talking about i met on a online forum for folk with one-sided cerebral palsy and when my mum met him she liked him really liked him but could see i meant much much more to him than he did to me. she just knew it would end in his tears because she knew how strongly i felt about not wanting kids but she could see how kids was his obsession....its all he talked about to her. Even she(most patient woman i know) got a bit exhausted by it. Ive tried it and my gut instincs were right from thestart of the friendship/relationship, and all along, im so much more myself when i choose to be single. i remember just "not being me at all". i have learned not to e so trusting(im much more cynical now) towards people....the hard way...through people breaking friends with me and not giving me a reason as to what i did wrong, didnt do or say. because int he end you just get hurt over and over i still let people in but it takes awhle for me to get to know them and trust them. friends i do have they know i have "some traits" but they dont know im full ASD because they hear the term aspergers and think of genius, or autistic and think of muteness, unable to convey what you're thinking feeling or wanting. which is not me...it just takes more time for to verbally express my thoughts opinions feelings etc. im somewhere in the middle cosi dont have a high iq or average. its just below average due to my brain damage but i make up for it in logical Aspie sense and general common sense

you should read rudy simones "aspergirls"....im 27 year old female...and it comes highly recommended. females from 18-60yrs old were interviewed for the book to get their experiences yu can get it via amazon.co.uk...certainly made me feel "at home" with myself and less abnormal as majority of it resonated with me:). my mum read it afterwarsd and almost every page she kept saying "rosie omg this SO you!" "yes mum ...i know ive beentrying to tell you for the past 5years but you wouldnt entertain it ". http://www.amazon.co.uk/Aspergirls-Empowering-Females-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1849058261/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1342626736&sr=8-4 Rosie

hi i am another adult with undiagnosed aspergers. im 27 (used to live in calne by the way so remember chippeham very well) and i too am far too trusting. i do sense danger but i have no periphral vision AT ALL. My mum used to work in paediatrics - not until 22 did she dawn that i might have aspergers, this was just through all the kids being diagnosed. even my gp admits it could be aspergers(big step as for years she hasnt admitted it). for years my labels were cerebral palsy and learnign difficulties and my mum jut thouht it all part of that. Im rubbish at maths (i have brain damage) but I master any technology almost instantly- had to show my mu how to work the freeview box and how to record, and im the one who has to fix things with th computer if its wrong . i need to write in my moleskin diary daily to get all the indescribable mixed up mental stuff that goes through my mind and brain on a daily basis....then i can sleep . i can easily watch the same dvd, listen to the same cd track over n over n over. i was and still am socally very awkward with peope i dont know....i hate weddings! as long as iv got my mobil, bottle of water and ipod im fine on the bus. people want to chat to me on the bus and im thinking "what for? i mean you can SEE what the weathers like yu dont need to tell me". why ask such mundane questions jst for no reason? . ive always always preferred my own company have goten bullied and critcised annually by teachers for it in reports from the age of 8! they put it down to the bullying which was most certainly not the case - both my parents also happen to enjoy their own company. and yet it took a girl 1year younger than me, til she was16 to get diagnosed and she was classed as mild aspergers. ive lot a lot of friends over how trusting i am...in thhat they'e dumped me for nlo reason. i only ever had one boyfriend who wsa absolutely desperate for kids(hes 30) and ive known since 12 i wanted no boyfriends and certainly no kids. male friendship yes but boyfriend no. and i felt coerced into it forced, back into a corner into the relationship then he tried to understand my 'phase' as he called it- a phase..since 12?!. all of his goading of me on the matter made me go completely mute for 3 days i just couldnt talk. ive never been that far deep in myself. i ended the relationship because he was just too too i dunno physically wanting me, made me sick just the thought. and havent talked to him since and when i tried to explain why he went off in sulking not understandign why i didnt even ike kids and he told me that i hated them. i dont hate them but nor do i like or dislike and i certainly dont love them. I think the guy just wasnt prepared for how strong my feelings are on the subject. he wanted WAY much more than friendship...i didnt.. give me cats and dogs and horses any day they at least accept you for you and loe you as such nomatter what ! why should i keep in touch when he wont accept me for me, i knew hed never understand my lack of desire and 'abnormality' for not wanting kids(told him i werent a baby making machine) and im more than happy to understand he wants kids. even my mum who met him said he was obsessed and she said he was very black and white himself and felt he was slightly ASD. But despite his mum teling him he would never entertain the idea. to e the fact i already have 5 labels to my name, another 1 wouldnt make a difference. i was always called loner at school. hated things like discos and corridors, i jump at the slightest of noises, food sesitivties as well as label sensitivties. looking back think i may have wanted my own company to get my mid back in order from all the chaos of being around too may people. they took away my SEN support after my gcses - 'because youd done so well you dont need our support any more we arent going to give it you' - but that doesnt mean to say i had any better understanding i still didnt understand what was required fromteachers and because they told me i wasnt allowd it despite having a statement, i didnt tell them i was too embarrassed. im awful at maths but im ace at german speaking still remember majority of it word for word. my old german teacher still recognises me and speaks german to me when he sees me, every year he put 'incrediably single minded' on my report because he could see how focused i was and took to it like- i dont know where its from but- ' a duck to water' i ended up having t physically stop myself from utting my hand up every 5seconds cos i knew the answer...in the end i got called teachers pet. felt as tough couldt do right for doing the wrong thing(bullied in PE and teased in German class). i love it as i am fascinated with Germany - i was born in there whilst my dad was out there in the RAF and holds a really special place inmy heart. im incrediably tactile - but only whe i watn hugs. i take things and directions so literally. i asked my mum outta curiosity 'hang on, does that mean its a horse the size of a fly then? i mean thats just pointless that' on discussion of possible bites a friend had had. my mum just burst out laughing she said im not laughing AT you Rosie just what you said you really are funny at times....hmm i thought am i? i mean i dont mean to be, same as i can tell my own tone of voice, others tone of voices or facial expressions including my own. ts really quite annoying.. she then explained that she dont know where the name came from. i remember when i was 15-23 i used to get soooooooooooooooooo flustered that the bus was late cos i was going to be late and id be ringing my mum at work and she never fully understand WHY i got so panicky. i didnt know why but now i know another bus will come along shortly and its not my fault if im late but i hatebeing late. even now i get anxious but breathing focusing helps it. until very recently mum wasforever questioning me "what you doing, what are yo up to?" and im thinking oh go away i need my me time...i wasnt until she read Rudysimones book "aspergirls"(women from 18-60yrs old were interviewed) that she fully realised that its just my way of being me, coping and why i used to go so anxious with buses bing late.. and coincidentally since shes read that book she has stopped saying "oh for gods sake lighten up i was joking" or "oh goodness sake get over it willyou". unless people tell me they ARE joking.. i truly really dont know . its why i feel rather isolated at work cos i dont 'get' what people mean when they say pointless stuff/supposed to be funny jokes. give me fwlty towers and only fools and horses....thats my humour . she understands my logic more ow but she used to think i didnt do this and that on purpose...when it really didnt occur to me co it wasnt mine, and she didnt ask me to take it up. or she;d ask exasperatingly, why had i done x but not y (which would b automatic to NTs) and i told her well you didnt ask me to...if youd asked me to i would of done it. thankfully rudy simones aspergirls has in may ways brought us closer to understand eahother, well her understand me more. hence a litle less frustration. Rosie

thanks

Hi Im Rosie, 27 soon to be 28 and have undiagnosed Aspergers or some sort of ASD. ive read luke jacksons "freak, geeks and aspergers" (At 24yrs old)and also rudy Simones "Aspergirls"( just this year. and comes highly recommended for us females)...Both books described me completely from 2- 27 and i found rudys book prticularly insightful as ASD not asrecognised in females. i was always called "loner" at school because i enjoyed my own compay - still do- and never thought anything of it. it commented on by teachers annually. my mum touht my "quirks" including 'talking in conversation to somone but nobody else was physically in the room' was 'me being me' cos im an only one so she had no one to compare to as i was always around adults, didnt like peers company. Now I've realised i do have psychic sensitivities/tendancies. to be honest i find it fascinating not to mentioning relieving to have a name for something i thought was 'not normal' about me and was made to feel not right/odd because of it by teachersand peers that had next to no knowledge of autism and none whatsoever of aspergers!. ive always known i was well bit odd. there was no mention of asds in the 80s with me. its only through myown research of last few years that I have realised what i have. my mum only realised herself when i was 22 because she used to work in the local hospital as a secretary in childrens ward and there was more n more kids coming through with ASD diagnosis and my mum kept thinking "omg, Rosie used to do that. and she did this" and she never ever mentioned it to the paediatrcians because she thought it was me being me cos she's had no other kids to compare me to. To me though, reading both books, and reading up om it via the net, it all makes sense now. it felt like a weight lift off my shoulder. i have asked my gp and she said its possible aspergers/asd but there isnt a professional in our area to diagnose adults. to be honest it isnt the label that would bother me - i already have 5 to my name nedically so its not gonna make much difference- just the explanation of it to those who dont know the difference etween HFA/Aspergers and ASD. Because, as i found out recently at a open public meeting fot adults on ASD to improe services locally, a few of the people i work with, their 18/19year ol kids have it - and they were really surprised to see mthere. "i never knew or realised cme their remark" (probably because im ok-good at making eye contact but not great ont he social side(i dont speak until someone speaks tome ...does that sound strange to you?)and i thought to myself "well no you woudnt would you?! i mean it IS invisabale ". i didnt say that of course but i sure as hell thought it. i look forward to gettting to know you and finding out more infomation/experiences. Rosie

Hi Im 27 and in very much the same position as you -new to this forum...and undiagnosed. ive read luke jacksons "freak, geeks and aspergers" and also rudy Simones "Aspergirls"( comes highly recommended for us females)...Both books described me completely from 2- 27 and i found rudys book prticularly insightful as ASD not asrecognised in females. i was always called "loner" at school because i enjoyed my own compay - still do- and never thought anything of it. it commented on by teachers annually. my mum touht my "quirks" including 'talking in conversation to somone but nobody else was physically in the room' was 'me being me' cos im an only one so she had no one to compare to as i was always around adults, didnt like peers company. Now I've realised i do have psychic sensitivities/tendancies. to be honest i find it fascinating not to mentioning relieving to have a name for something i thought was 'not normal' about me and was made to feel not right because of it. ive always kniwn i was well bit odd there was no mention of asds in the 80s with me. its only through myown research have i realised what i have. my mum only realised herself when i was 22 because she worked in the local hospital as a secretary in childrens ward and there was more n more kids coming through with ASD diahnosis and my mu kept thinking "omg, Rosie used to do that. and she did this". To me, it all makes sense now. the fact i dont want kids and am happily single is something many peers and general people cannot get their heads around they think its "not normal". to me i just thought "why cant hey just accept me as me as ive accept mysel for me i ev like myself so why cant others accept me for me"....i tol 1 boyfriend i wasnt a baby making machine - HE is desperate to be a dad and LOVES kids! he told me he thought it was a "phase"...how can knowing this since i was 12 and not being able change my feelings on it...be A Phase exactly?!- and told him that i knew a few women who were mid 40s-50s and happy being single and more than happy being child free(as i call it) so although its un common its not unusual or abnormal. he(and the ending o that relationship-wasnt even that in my eyes) was what prompted me to go down the ASD route on the net because he made me feel so alien because i dont want kids....not til i read rudy simones book dd i realise most ASD females are 'neither here nor there' about kids. even now, i get on with older people much better than i do my ownage group. i still play he same cd track on repeat for months on end...drives my mum mad but shes used to it now, and strangely find lining coins theraputic:-s. take things so literally its unreal- (people at work have finally understood how specific i ned instructions to be when they want something done)- apparently this is when im at my most funniest cos i dont realise what ive said is funny ...now that i dont understand . the english language is crazy with its phrases and sayings and hidden meanings. oh and you can forget tact...i have none - i try and say something nicely...just comes out as blunt as a knife when it was not the way i intended it. hmm, then theres the fcial expressions but more specifically sarcasm..i cant understand it in someones tone.. their rpy is "durr course im being sarcastic Rosie" when i ask "are you being sarcastic? ". I also hope to be welcomed in to the group and learn more. I also have a fascination of dates, computer,technology and history and im amatuer genealogist. i also have a really good word vocab and read and understood words beyond my age at school..just never diagnosed. Rosie :-)