madstitcher101

We went to see the school on Wednesday and we were really impressed with it. It felt right. We would have no hesitation in moving our daughter there but we have a bit of a dilemma with our son. The problem is that he seems to be settled in at his present school and we are worried that if he is moved that we will be back to square one with him, that he may not settle down there. I have got in touch with Autism Outreach and hopefully they can advise us on this.

My daughter was being bullied at her present school (still is as she is still reporting to us about incidents happening). We believe that it had been going on for a long time and it got so bad that she was freaking out about going into school every day. Even now she's not happy and doesn't want to be there. The school itself has gone from being a satisfactory school to one needing improvement. We have been thinking very seriously about moving her to a different and hopefully better school. Trouble is, we are going to have to move her younger brother too. He is in year 1 and he has high-functioning autism. He has started to settle a bit now into year 1, although we have been having a few problems with him not wanting to go into school but we think that he was/is picking up this from his sister's reluctance to go into school. We can't just move the one child and commute between two different schools, it would be impossible especially as both of them have to come home for lunch so I know they are having something to eat. My husband is worried that if we move him to a new school it may set him back, that he may not want to go and his behaviour will get worse (if that is possible). I share his fears about this but at the same time I feel that my daughter needs to be happy at school, she used to love school but she hates it now. She is a very sensitive child who worries and gets anxious about anything and everything. I still believe that she is on the spectrum but we have to wait and see about that as she is having appointments for therapeutic play which we are hoping will highlight something. There is a school which has places in both years and we are going to go and have a look at it and a chat with the head about the children. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your replies. Justine1, camhs have already said to us that they don't believe that Emma has ASD, so it will be interesting to see what they say at this appointment. I firmly believe they are wrong and I believe that she is on the autistic spectrum, not as severe as her brother but I'm certain of it.

Has anyone's child been to one of these Therapeutic Play Sessions? Just had an appointment come through the post for my daughter, Emma, to attend and I wanted to know what exactly it was and is it beneficial for Emma? What do they do at these sessions and how long do they go on for?

Emma's stories usually are about princesses which is favourite subject. Sometimes she will write the story of one of her favourite dvds at the time. For example she rewrote the story of Shrek, but she didn't change the plot or anything. She wrote the story as she'd seen it on the dvd. She has an obsession with girls names and boys names and is constantly asking is so and so a girls name. She likes to play games that involve her being a character off a tv programme that she likes. For example she will play the Winx Club, or Princesses, Shrek, just to name a few. She is happy to chase around after her friends. But they know how sensitive she is and sometimes, actually a lot of times, they will be mean to her and she will burst into tears. It makes her such an easy target for bullies and there is a girl at that school who does pick on her. Trouble is this particular girl can do no wrong in the eyes of the teachers and head teacher.

Matthew is just the same when it comes to hearing. If he is engrossed in something, either watching the tv or in the middle of a game, he doesn't tend to hear me and I could be there a while repeating his name over and over until he suddenly stops and turns to me. Sometimes I have to wait a couple of minutes until he answers me, so at first it appears that he hasn't heard me or is ignoring me, but he just has to have time to process the question or information I have given him. I have problems with my hearing sometimes and I don't have a hearing problem. My ears tend to focus on the louder noise, so if I'm watching tv and, say my husband is eating a packet of crisps, I will have trouble hearing the tv because my ears can only hear the crisps crunching and the packet making a noise. It's very annoying and I end up telling him off!! Emma had her ears tested and there were no problems. Same with Matthew. He has sensitive hearing and loud noises tend to scare him, especially if he can't see where the noise is coming from. He still won't tolerate the vacuum cleaner, even the sight of it will send him into freaked out mode.

They aren't saying what is the trigger for her anxiety. In the letter it says that they are going to do a referral to see a Senior Occupational Therapist for therapeutic play. CAMHS have also spoken with Autism Outreach who are already supporting us with Matthew and they have agreed to support us with Emma and help normalise some of her behaviours. When Emma plays she does tend to be quite babyish in her games, if you know what I mean. The doctor also mentioned this to me as we were just finishing our last appointment and was leaving.

Okay, I now have the reports from CAMHS. So I will just copy it on here and if anyone can give me their honest opinion, would be most grateful. The diagnosis says Anxiety Disorder. "I observed Emma at her school in structured and unstructured setting. The school observation was following parents concern about whether she is on the Autism Spectrum. I was ushered into the hall where Emma was participating in drama rehearsals. There were around 80-100 students. They were lined at the front facing the teacher with the stage to the back. Intermittently some of the year 5 and 6 students were coming on the stage to perform parts of the script. The majority of the younger children were participating in the group singing. Emma was in the second row in the corner of the passageway through to the stage. She spotted me as soon as I entered the hall and tracked me with her eyes until I took the seat. She then looked at the teacher and then looked back at me with querying eyes. She seemed comfortable with the high level of noise in the hall which included children talking and the beat of the music. She participated in the singing and her gestures appeared coordinated as of the other students. Some of her movements appeared awkward as she appeared distracted observing me as she recognised me from her one to one sessions at the clinic. However once she got into the beat of the music her movements were more graceful and coordinated. She turned to look back when the music stopped as the students on the stage delivered their dialogues. A couple of times she checked and referenced to see whether I was looking at the students. She briefly interacted with one of her peers sat next to her and when I was out of sight I noticed Emma straining her neck to try and catch a glance of what I was doing. The children then had to queue up to go out and the noise level in the hall increased. Emma queued up and waited patiently to go out of the hall. Emma went and got her coat and was briefly on her own in the playground. She then joined up with her friends and ran around with them skipping and playing. She appeared to interact with her peers however her facial expressions appeared flat and appeared to be restricted. I spoke to her class teacher who was doing the playground duty at the same time and the teacher reported that school have no concerns. However Emma is usually sensitive to noises as she would be tearful and distressed in assembly and they made provision for her not to attend assemblies. However they have noticed that Emma can be inconsistent with this in that she can participate fairly happily in a big group of kids (75 in number) dancing and singing. There is no evidence of distress or tears. One of the teachers reported an incident where she was waiting outside the assembly, the teacher asked her to fetch a chair to seat herself and she had to repeat asking on few occasions before Emma complied. This happened on couple of other occasions when she reported that Emma would look back and not comply. It was clear that she had understood the instruction but appeared not to want to do it. She has got a group of friends with whom she is close and will hold hands and interact. Emma seemed to be laughing and cheerful when with these friends. The class teacher reported that Emma seems comfortable with change and does not get distressed if there is any change of teaching staff or routine to the class. She participates in activity and is able to express excitement and pleasure. The teacher reported that they had taken the school out for a trip to a farm and Emma appeared comfortable with different textures, smells, noises and experience. She appeared happy and at ease and walked up to the teacher and told her that this was the best day ever. In the school context there is no evidence of any repetitive worries or other repetitive behaviours. Emma gets a packed lunch on school trips and they notice her eating her food and there are no major concerns. The teacher is aware that Emma goes home for lunch and they are happy with this arrangement. School are also aware that Emma's brother has got severe autism and needs a lot of input from his parents. The teacher commented on Emma's imaginative play and stories which are vibrant and full of emotions and imagination. From the school questionnaires, teacher report and my observation there does not seem to be clear cut symptoms of ASD and I will discuss this in my feedback appointment with parents." With regards to Emma eating her lunch on school trips, if the school took the time to actually look to see what she has for lunch then maybe they would see the problem with her lack of eating. Whereas other children take sandwiches, yoghurts, etc etc, Emma would take a packet of crisps, a chocolate roll and a cheese sandwich (which by the way wasn't totally eaten as she won't eat sandwiches anymore). When she is asked to do something at home and she doesn't totally understand what is being asked, then she will look at you with a blank look. This is genuine. Most times I have to rephrase the question or instruction, and sometimes speak a bit slower so she can understand. When they say that she won't do what they ask because she doesn't want to then I disagree. Children with ASD can have good imagination. Her brother does. You should hear his stories when he's playing, so that doesn't prove anything. At home she tends to line her toys up, she consistently walks up and down the room, won't sit still. She jumps up and down flapping her arms when excited. Not to the extreme that her brother does but she does, and she has always done that. She's not copying her brother. She constantly asks the same questions over and over again, doesn't seem to remember that she had asked it before therefore not remembering the previous answer. I also think that the school is comparing her with her brother and seeing as Emma doesn't act anything like her brother in school, she obviously can't be on the same spectrum. How should we proceed with this? Emma's next appointment is in November, may be later as the time they have offered us is not suitable so going to have to rearrange it.

This may soon shocking but we haven't taken our son to the dentists yet. He is nearly 5 years old. I guess we had delayed it because of what he is like and we thought that as he got older he would probably be more acceptable to go. The thing is we know that if the dentists drills sound off while we are in the waiting room he is going to get really upset and won't allow his teeth to be looked at. Or he may not open his mouth anyway. Any advice on how to go about this? My husband isn't too bothered about not going yet because he said he's going to be losing all his milk teeth anyway. Me, I would like him to go and get used to having to go for checkups regularly, but worried about how he will react/behave when he's there. It's a nightmare when he goes to the doctors and everyone, including myself, gets very stressed out.

Thanks Sally. I definitely will get in touch with NAS and see what they say, but I'll do that once I got the copies of everything from camhs. Yes I have looked at the DSM IV Criteria for Aspergers and I can see where her behaviour fits into this criteria. I shall be studying it in more detail later.

Thanks for your replies. I'm glad that other people are agreeing with me on this, that I'm not alone in thinking that camhs are wrong. I am just waiting to get the copy of the report and then I can go through it and then do something about it. When the doctor was talking about the 'blank' look my daughter gives when asked to do something, she made a comment suggesting that maybe she gave the blank look because she didn't want to do what she was asked to do.

Forgot to add, yes she can brush her teeth although she needs watching because she won't do it properly otherwise. She can't tie shoelaces but that's mainly because she's never had shoes with laces, they've always been velcro fastenings. Ride a bike, well we bought her a bike for her 6th birthday and she has maybe rode it a few times and it's been in the garage since. She's never asked to go on it. No she can't climb a tree and she never would even try it.

She hates having her hair washed and brushed. From start to finish she will moan, saying I'm hurting her and asks if I'm finished every single minute I'm doing it. She hates having a wash especially washing her face and neck. If she could get away with not washing or brushing her hair she would. Her brother is just as bad, maybe worse because he absolutely refuses to have his hair washed most times and it tends to end in a meltdown, whereas she will have her hair washed but will moan or cry if the water goes in her face. As for reading, writing and maths, well she loves reading and writing so she at the level as her peers, although she doesn't like to do the homework for it as she would much rather write about princesses and things that she is interested in. As for maths, well she appears to struggle with that. She struggles with multiplication, adding, subtraction etc. She still doesn't know how to tell the time.

Would we have to ask for a second opinion in writing? The only contact that we have at CAMHS is the doctor we have been seeing so not sure who we would have to ask. She asked questions and we told her all our concerns about her. The school said they have no concerns, mind you I don't have a lot of faith in that school at the moment due to a few incidents, and we are seriously considering moving both children to a different school.

She has a few good friends but a lot of times they tend to be 'mean' to her and she gets upset and cries. I think certain friends do it on purpose because it is so easy to upset her and make her cry. She won't ever stick up for herself. Yes, she does have obsessions and she constantly talks about them whether you want to listen or not. She also asks the same questions about the same things , could be in the same day or the same week. She never had speech delay, in fact she was quite advanced for her age. She doesn't understand facial expressions and sometimes when you tell her to do something she tends to look blank at you and doesn't understand what she has to do and we have to rephrase the question or instructions. No she hasn't been tested for fragile x, and it doesn't look like they will because they say no she doesn't have ASD.

Hiya! I'm new here and I need some advice if possible. I have 2 children, a girl aged 8 and a boy aged nearly 5. My son was diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism in January this year. Before we even knew what autism was, we had deferred him from starting school in the September 2011. We had a lot of problems with him and we felt that there was no way he would be ready for school at that time. We had a educational psychologist come to the house to see us and straight away she suspected that our son had autism. Anyway, Early Years became involved, he was offered an enhanced nursery place from the September while he was being assessed and his statement done. He stayed at the nursery until Easter this year and then he started in the local mainstream school, which happened to be round the corner from where we live. Anyway, he just went in mornings. He'd got his one-to-one support and she is really nice. Anyway, onto my daughter. She was referred to CAMHS by the hospital (we got our doctor to refer her because we had concerns about her), and we've had about 4 appointments to date. We had a few concerns about her, we still do. She has a lot of worries and anxieties, is a very finicky eater (she's underweight), has a lot of toileting accidents. We also believed that she also had ASD, possibly Aspergers, but we weren't sure. There are certain things that she does that made us wonder. She has sensitive hearing and certain noises hurt her ears, and she complained that being in assemblies were hurting her ears because of the noise so we withdrew her from assemblies. She constantly walks up and down the room, she flaps her arms and jumps up and down when she gets excited, she lines her toys up, she doesn't get jokes or sarcasm and often looks at you with a blank look on her face. Anyway, at her last appointment last week, I was told by the doctor that after observing my daughter at school for a couple of hours, she didn't believe that she had got ASD. She's got a lot of anxieties and worries but she's not on the spectrum. I'm waiting to receive a copy of that report so I can go through it myself and see exactly how they got to that conclusion because my gut instinct tells me that they are wrong. She obviously doesn't display the signs at school as she does at home, and how can they come to that conclusion like that? Sorry, I am rambling a bit here, so, can CAMHS get it wrong? What would anyone suggest?