Kathrynh

So pleased for you. Reading your news brought tears to my eyes. My Ben is still non-verbal aged 8 although often makes lots of sing-song like verbalisations but his only clear word is "no". Has one sign for please and uses a few pictures with support. His dad keeps telling me he will never speak but I live in hope.

My autistic son is beautiful, very angelic but he certainly doesn't get his looks from his parents Ho Ho!!

Grow old gracefully and wear purple!!

Have you tried using a major buggy to go out? It made a huge difference to me when B was about 4 or 5. He reached the point where he would regularly lie down and scream when we were out. I got a buggy and this meant i could take him out a lot in the summer. When he felt relaxed in a new place i was able to let him out to play. For the last 6 months ( B is just 7) we have rarely used it. We are having the best summer holiday we have had. We go out somewhere everyday, lots of new places and he is relaxed and happy in new situations. The only time I use the buggy now is when I want to stop for a cup of tea! B doesn't do sitting still!!

I still have a stair gate on B's bedroom door. He is 6 and perfectly capable of climbing it but he is used to bedtime routine and doesn't try to. At night I tie his door to the gate with an old belt and a quick release knot. I couldn't face locking it but I need someway of keeping him in his room at night both for his safety and my sanity!! It does the trick at night and in the morning if he wakes up before me, which is most mornings, he just pulls at the door and rattles the whole contraption which is a very effective alarm clock. If it came to an emergency I know that the belt tie would come undone easily and the stair gate which was hand made by B's dad could be smashed with a quick kick.

I still use reins with my six year old. Due to breaking my wrist badly a few years ago I dont think I could manage with a wrist strap. He is nowhere near being reliable at stopping when I say so. I couldn't care less what other people who see him think - his safety comes first. He has severe learning difficulties and is completely unaware of other people's reactions so I do not have to worry about him being embarrased by it. Without the reins we would not be able to go on the nice walks that we both enjoy. WE were out for nearly two hours this morning exploring an area we hadn't walked before. If I need both my hands free I can hook my arm through the riens. Most of the time B holds my hand and the strap is just looped over my arm to stop him running if neccessary.

I totally agree with you Bard. Sats are about testing teachers not children and yet the children are put under a great deal of stress to perform well by teachers who are put under the stress of making the children do these tests even though they do not agree with them. Because of league tables, a large part of Year 6 is about preparing for sats and gets in the way of teaching the children. Real education is put on hold for the year. And who gets the blame for this? Teachers! Even though we have no choice in the matter. How about ocassionally placing the blame on the government instead? I know my son will never have to face sats because he has severe learning difficulties and this is one of the few things I can be grateful for. If a child is performing below the level of the tests it is totally unfair to make that child sit through a 45 minute test with a paper full of questions that he/she cannot do. How totally demoralising is that? Much better to disapply. And no it does not improve the schools results. The child still counts on the percentages as not having achieved the expected level 4.

I should add that I am no help to you whatsoever cos I dont know what to do either. Also very limited receptive language. Chews pecs cards too!! Can follow very basic instructions like pick that up. Give that to mummy etc but only if he feels like doing it.

Sounds exactly like my Ben. 6 years old.Non-verbal. Non-visual. Understands exchanging a picture in pecs but the picture could be of anything. doesn't discriminate at all so Pecs has ground to a halt. Doesn't watch TV. I always thought that I did not want a child who spent all his time watching TV or playing computer games. Now I find myself wishing he would just watch for a little while because he finds it very hard to occupy himself and so can be quite demanding. Not interested in books other than to tap the page so will feel touchy feely books but is not really looking at them. Communication is a big problem. He tells me somethings he wants by taking my hand to them or leading me to them but obviously this is very limited. He gets very frustrated when we dont understand him and then can be violent. My arms are constantly covered in scratch and bite marks. Can do instant mood swings between happy and very angry but cant tell us why. Still in nappies and no sign of that improving although does understand that when I sit him on the toilet I want him to wee. But he simply prefers not to if he can avoid it. Having said all that he is very loving and affectionate. Gives loads of cuddles and has a wonderful laugh that you cant help joining in with and is a pleasure to be with. And I am developing patience and tolerance that I never though I would be capable of!!

Far too much chocolate!!

I'm very lucky cos B does now generally sleep very well. But he does sometimes wake up in a real state screaming and crying and I assume he is having a nightmare. He gets very violent towards me when this happens, biting, kicking and scratching. I just sort of wrap myself round him cuddling him using the quilt to help control his ams and legs a bit like wrapping a cat for the vet!! After a while he will calm down and go back to sleep and seems to have no memory of it happening.

Horses are a hobby of mine, I have a horse and a small pony, so I always take my 6 yo non-verbal son with me to the stables. He will ocassionally sit on the pony for a short time but goes very floppy and needs holding on. The main problem I have in encouraging him to ride is that he hates wearing a riding hat. I have found a lightweight one for him but it still upsets him He does get a lot out of being in the open air being able to run around and get mucky, emptying water buckets and walking with me to take the horse out to the field. I think if I did not have the stables to go to he would drive me bonkers with all his energy. Most of the horses at the yard are very good with him and tolerant of his hugging their legs or biting them.

B is 6 non-verbal but very noisy. Although he can say no and mean it. Still in nappies although will now wee in the toilet if put on it and asked then rewarded. Still uses baby bottle. Prefers to wrap round ponies leg and bite its bum rather than riding it I feel that if he ever gets talking he would improve so much. He gets very frustrated at not being able to say what he wants then he bites scratches pinches etc. He understands exchanging in pecs but does not distinguish between pictures so cannot ask for the item he really wants. Hobbies at the moment are bouncy balls and getting mouthfuls of water and squirting it out at people He is beginning to understand more of what is said to him (it is difficult to know how much he understands)and will follow very simple instructions but only if he is in the right mood.

Pullups are a very good alternative to nappies when going to school.

My 6 yo non-verbal little monster/treasure (depending on what mood he is in) took part in his school nativity last week. He is in a unit attached to a main stream and the unit children join in the infant nativity. They all had different parts and each had an adult with them helping. They all coped really well and looked happy. My son sat next to his teacher while waiting for his part. She kept him happy by letting him play with his bouncy ball while he sat there. When a quiet bit of the play was happening he was noisy (he makes a loud noise a bit like a gibbon), when they were singing he shut up because he enjoyed listening. He certainly let the audience know he was there. He was a star and had to lead the Wise mens procession all round the hall around the back of the audience and back to the stage while wearing an enormous silver star that was almost as big as he was. He was completely happy and relaxed throughout but I am sure he hadn't a clue what was going on. Mummy was very proud though.