In Exile

I scored two points. Facial expressions, as well as facial recognition, are areas of particular difficulty for me. Happy and sad are easy enough but it simply isn't true to say that more complex emotional expressions look the same on everybody, at least not to many of us with ASD. For example, the three pictures illustrating disgust did not look the same to me and all three pictures illustrating contempt looked totally expressionless to me. It's been explained that I don't see a face as a singularity but rather as a collection of components - hair, complexion, face shape, eyes, etc. - which is a harder assimilation process just for recognizing people, let alone for recognizing expressions. (I hope this description makes sense to others with AS/ASD). An application like this could be made useful for someone like me but it would need to be much more granular, e.g. by showing what within a person's expression distinguishes surprise from fear or contempt, etc. This would be a step forward from the assessments I've had previously, which have sought only to measure my difficulty rather than to offer help with it! Even then, as Sa and Indiscreet say, real time doesn't allow for leisurely study of facial expressions, especially for those of us with an aversion to eye contact.

If you did invent "Aspergic", kudos to you for its popularity on the internet!

Asperger's Syndrome doesn't have a corresponding adjective in the way that "autism" has the adjective "autistic." It also doesn't have a shortened noun form like "an autistic." So, the only proper description is to say you "have Asperger's Syndrome" or "have AS." I'm not keen on those descriptions because to say I "have" AS sounds to me like it is a condition I have acquired. That's why I don't mind people saying I am an aspie - it's the only noun (albeit informal) to describe AS in terms of who or what I am, rather than what I have. (The term "Aspergic" is a made-up word and an unsatisfactory one, etymologically. I hope it never makes it into the dictionary. "Aspie", on the other hand, doesn't pretend to follow any etymological rules).

Good call, Aeolienne. Rolling Stones, made in England from 50% rock, 50% roll.

The average UK dress size is 16 so I'm not surprised. LancsLad, I don't know the history between you and SmileyK so I'm only going on your first post in this thread, in which you tell SmileyK "what is relevant in your life." It might not have helped SmileyK to hear what has made you fit and slim. People have various motivations for wanting to lose weight. Depression and low self-esteem are motivations that are no less valid than any other. For you, it's about physical health; for many people, it's about mental health.

Well, I don't want to be made a pariah just for saying size 8 is fine so... Smiley, what anyone here thinks is irrelevant; it's what your doctor or dietician thinks that is important.

Smiley, please help us here. Are you a size 8 or is that just what you want to be?

LancsLad and Justine, you are better informed than me about Smiley's weight history. Perhaps you have concerns about how she got there or where it might lead in the future. I respect that. It isn't good to lose weight too quickly. But now that Smiley is a size 8, I think she should be encouraged to stay right there. It's a good, normal, perfectly healthy size. I wasn't comparing it against size 10 or 12 but I dare say Smiley is happier as a size 8. Really, there's nothing wrong with that.

Ask a simple question... sheesh! Smiley, size 8 is great. Keep it right there.

Me too! I scored 6. My hands are female, though.

I was confused by the whole section to do with "community". Despite the note explaining what was meant by "community", I still wasn't clear about how to interpret it. Is it supposed to mean only the people with ASD you know personally; or including people who communicate with one another online, such as on this forum; or the entire ASD population? These are obviously very different definitions. If it was supposed to mean the whole ASD population, I think the term "community" is misleading, implying some kind of collective voice, consciousness or social bond that is illusory, just as it is when people talk about the gay community or the Asian community. I have AS but I don't feel part of an AS community beyond the screen in front of me. Honestly, I don't know what it is supposed to mean.

By a combination of getting used to it and organizing the Metro interface, I've pretty much tamed it now. The key is to place shortcuts either on the Metro interface or the desktop (or both) to help overcome the absence of the Start menu. So, I've added a folder icon on my desktop to take me straight to all my files, plus a shortcut to the Control Panel. I feel like I've regained control of my laptop now!

Yes, it's completely different. I wish I had taken the time to understand that before loading it onto my laptop. It is totally NOT user-friendly for laptop or PC users. It seems to be designed with tablets in mind so for computers that don't have touch screens, it's really, really clunky. I'm going to call the Dell support people on Monday to figure out how to get Windows 7 back.

Is anyone else using Windows 8? I updated from Windows 7 to Windows 8 and now I wish I didn't. I thought it would just be another Windows update but it's completely different and I neither like it nor understand it!

In the interests of balance, I should have added that there is, of course, a possibility that this man's interest in you has indeed waned. If so, this could be just a personal chemistry thing that is unrelated to his AS, or it could be a consequence of a strong desire for personal space and solitude which is common among aspies. The trouble is, we don't always want space and solitude but if we fail to keep up friendships and relationships during those periods, we find that when we want companionship or love, the people from whom we seek those things are no longer there.

Hi, B. When you responded to your partner's one-line message by saying you got the message and wished him good luck in life, it's likely that you didn't get the message at all! If he has AS, he probably doesn't play games. Many aspies struggle to maintain friendships and relationships because they are content to go for unsettlingly long periods with minimal communication and this can be easily misread as disinterest. Also, many aspies find the small talk that is common in frequent messaging to be pointless. This isn't a reflection on you, it's just that we often find it difficult to know how to respond meaningfully or appropriately to inconsequential banter (if that's what it was). Inevitably you will take a view on your compatibility. Whether you do so in the light of his AS and the associated social shortcomings is, of course, your choice. His behaviour is probably a manifestation of his AS rather than an indicator of his thoughts about you. This may or may not make it any easier for you to handle emotionally. In general, aspies have fewer friendships and relationships than neurotypicals. Go figure.

Hi Amy, I joined this forum a few months ago. Normally, a few people would have welcomed you by now but the forum seems to be having a temporary quiet period so I'll take it upon myself to say hi and welcome. Best wishes, Penny

+1. Have you seen the movie "The Ninth Configuration"? This subject is one of its central themes.

This article on the very same subject might help you. http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/articles/dogwalkattacks.htm

Are you talking about suing for compensation? If so, compensation for what? I'm assuming you haven't suffered financial loss or property damage as a consequence of the psychiatrist's action or inaction, which only leaves personal injury (in its widest legal sense). Can you demonstrate that you suffered personal injury because of the psychiatrist's failure to diagnose? Clinical negligence actions are extremely difficult and costly at the best of times and I doubt you would find any legal support on a contingent fee basis (no-win-no-fee), so you would probably have to fund the action yourself. I expect this isn't what you want to hear but that's the reality. On the other hand, if what you want is an apology, that might be possible. Set out your grievance in writing to the psychiatrist and request an apology. It is now an established principle in English law that an apology is not an admission of liability so apologies are generally a little more - but only a little more - forthcoming than they used to be. The problem is that if the psychiatrist refused to accept any wrongdoing, how would that leave you feeling? As Sally says, it might be better for you just to let it go. Disclaimer: tort law isn't my specialty and my comments are not legal advice so speak to a personal injury lawyer if you want to find out about pursuing an action. Best wishes and welcome to the forum.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvJJOEdcyj4

Mike, we are in agreement on the point that the original poster should not be denied a voice if he is raising some valid issues. You advocate giving him some latitude in an adult forum, I advocate curtailing his language actively and rigorously in the general forum. Both are reasonable propositions. The reason I am swayed to the latter is that I see no practicable means of excluding under-18s from an adult forum. Best, Penny

I understand your reasoning, Mike but the alternative, which I would advocate, is to apply moderation actively, based on preset rules of language, rather than reactively based on complaints from members. Putting aside our thoughts on the wrongs or rights of the original poster's viewpoint, there is no reason why the essential points of his argument could not have been made using universally acceptable language. Given that this is an ASD forum, the OP might not have had the wherewithal to do this himself, in which case the moderators should have actively removed offending language. Whether actively or reactively, the mods did indeed remove offending language in this case and successfully so, from what I saw of it (I didn't see the latter posts). I'm not bashing moderators here, just challenging the conditions necessary to trigger moderaton. This is about the difference between subject matter and how that is communicated. If the subject matter is such that even the most rigorous moderation of language cannot make it universally acceptable, then does it have any place on an ASD forum? Merry nails it when she says about an adult forum, "I would hate for it to become an excuse for meaningless dirty talk or to find a date." I totally agree. If a properly moderated subject doesn't belong in the general forum, then it doesn't belong here at all, in my view.

This is already a long thread and I haven't read all the posts so forgive me if I'm repeating any points already made. I posted on the deleted thread. I didn't see any of the preceding posts before they were moderated. I also didn't see any of the posts that followed mine so I don't know if my post precipitated any unsavory responses (and by all means tell me it did and if I owe an apology!). I don't see how an over-18 forum could be policed. Youtube has age-restricted content but it doesn't stop anyone of any age viewing it, simply by creating an account and lying about their age. So, given that anyone could do the same here, I feel sure that having an over-18 forum, and relaxing the rules on content and language within it, could actually expose younger people to more age-inappropriate content than is the case now. I don't know what was said in the latter posts of the deleted thread but I would imagine that moderation and censorship of inappropriate language could have been possible without losing the meaning of the key points being made. I haven't been a member of this thread for very long so I would also ask, do threads like that happen frequently enough to justify an adult forum?