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rufusrufus

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Posts posted by rufusrufus


  1. Welcome, I struggle with similar feelings of not fitting in, I get paranoid that everything I type will be taken the wrong way, but I'm on a bit of a mission at the moment to challenge myself to post stuff, to prove to myself that it doesn't always end in rejection and humiliation. It's scary, but maybe, kind of working?!?! I'm not sure yet! Anyway, welcome back :)


  2. Well, yeah, once you know it it's hard to imagine how you got by without it ;)

     

    Bwahahaha! :) I read something yesterday about "portmeanteau words" - where 2 words are run together to form a new word, like "chillax" (chill + relax) or "ridonkulous" (ridiculous + donkey - although I'm still unsure how donkeys come into it?), I was surprised at the number of well-established portmanteau words in our language of which I wasn't aware: "camcorder" - camera and recorder, for example. Fun times :)


  3. An old colleague of mine once sent me a text about "rest bite" care instead of "respite" care - love it! :) Also, it's not quite the same thing, but I was at a social thing recently and somebody mentioned "kidney paralysis" instead of "dialysis" and I couldn't stop laughing because I got a picture of a kidney in my head saying "Help! I can't move!". The conversation turned all serious but I was still giggling in the corner. I couldn't help myself and I felt bad but it really tickled me :)


  4. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I wish you the very best and hope the outcome is in your favour. How do you feel about is resuming in 3 months? I once had to give evidence in court and the judge made a mistake so it all had to start again and it took months. I really hated it hanging over my head for all that time (I was a witness by the way, not the defendant!). I really hope they get punished for doing this to you :(


  5. That's brilliant! Well done you! Something which works for me is making sure that I have time and space to "recover" after a social event - to allow the feeling of being overwhelmed to pass and to restore equilibrium. And rewarding myself for doing it too. For me socialising isn't just fun like it is for neurotypical people - it's a challenge, and I find it really tiring, even if I do enjoy the situation! I'm really chuffed to hear you've made these plans, I really hope you enjoy it. :)


  6. My mum used to give me Stugeron, it really works for me, but I used to really struggle with the foul, foul taste! Bleurgh!!!! Does anyone else find that they don't get carsick if they're the one driving? I wondered if it's because I can anticipate and control the movement of the car, so I feel better? Which is all well and good, but I can't afford a car any more. Oh well :) I'm glad you've found Stugeron so helpful, the world is now your oyster! :)


  7. I am always kind of terrified of posting anything, on any forum, ever, because it might be misconstrued, and I hate confrontation, and I hate the idea of something I've said being "out there" in the ether, open to scrutiny by people who don't like me. Every time I post anything, it's a challenge to myself, a challenge to the belief that everybody hates me and that nothing I say is of any value. I know I ramble a bit, but I have to teach myself that not everything I do / write / say has to be perfect. Sometimes others won't appreciate it, and I (and maybe they!) can learn from that. I understand what you're saying, but I hope it doesn't prevent you from posting too much, as you seem like a really nice, funny guy, who has a lot to offer. I hope that doesn't sound too cheesy, but I've read quite a few of your posts, and think you're pretty cool. :)


  8. I can really relate to what you're saying. I have diagnoses of depression and anxiety, and was also bullied at school, too. I seem to swing between "stuff them they don't understand me or know me so I'll just do whatever I want and if they don't accept me, it's their tough luck" and "Oh no! Did I exclude that person? Did I alienate them? Say something wrong / stupid?". It's taken a long time but I'm just starting to acknowledge to myself that it's ok to let the real me out. Sometimes I need to turn down the volume a little bit, and play the NT game (pretending to be normal!), but that if I feel like I've messed up, I can always be open and apologise. People aren't always as horrible to me as I think they're going to be. And if they are, I try to look at what they're motives might be. I'm prone to jumping to the conclusion that it's all my fault - I'm the one who's messed up, I'm the one who's less than worthy of people's time", but actually, that's not always the case. Hopefully, if someone doesn't accept me, with all my quirks and my inevitable mistakes, I can get away with not having to be in contact with them much!! I know this isn't always possible, but it's a start! I do still ask people around me for reassurance, and on my bad days I just get too overwhelmed to even try to engage with people, but I think I make a bigger deal out of asking for help / reassurance than other people do. To me, it can be a massive, worrying thing to say "What did that person mean when they said....?", I catastrophise, think they'll judge me for being stupid etc. But it seems that the person to whom I ask a question, answers it, then kind of forgets I asked, no big deal! :)

    I'm waffling, so I'm going to shut up now. The short version of this post is: I related to what you experience but it's not all bad out there :)


  9.  

    If those with tourettes get more pronounced with other people with tourettes then perhaps the tics are a form of some kind of body language? And that perhaps, given that some people with tourettes can also be on the autistic spectrum - I was wondering if maybe hand flapping also intensified when in the presence of others who also hand-flapped as if it were some kind of communication (as in something like unconscious waving/hand signalling)?

     

    Just a thought.

     

    I think that's really interesting. I have a friend whose son is on the spectrum, and a few years ago she had to decide whether or not to take him out of mainstream school, where he wasn't thriving, and place him in an SEN school. One of her concerns, which was echoed by other people I've spoken to, was that, being around NT kids, hopefully he's "learn" their "appropriate" behaviours, and that potentially, being in an SEN school would expose him to a lot of new "autistic" behaviours, eg more stimming (NB - these are not necessarily my thoughts, just what I remember from the discussion at the time). As it happens, he did go into an SEN school and has really thrived there. I believe that at first, his visible stims etc did increase when he moved, but as he began to feel more relaxed and less ashamed of his autism, as he had felt at the mainstream school, this settled down.

    At the SEN school I used to work at, there was a child there with autism who really did pick up on everything the other children were doing. He would mimic them, not maliciously I don't think, and they thought he was taking the mick. I think he felt a compulsion to copy what he saw, before he even realised what he was doing. I know I do this if I hear certain noises, or sometimes when dogs bark, the imitation is out of my mouth before I can stop it!

    Certainly, Intensive Interaction works under the assumption that "joining" with a behaviour (stimming, rocking etc) lets the person you're working with know that you feel what they're doing, you respect it enough to engage in it with them / alongside them. Then, once you're engaged, you can create a dialogue using that behaviour / action.


  10. I have a doctor's appointment later today, So i will see what they say.

    I really, really hope it goes well for you. The GP I saw when I requested an AS assessment was a total... well, he was really horrible. I still got the referral though. Thinking of you.


  11. Hi rufusrufus,

     

    No I haven't but I'll be sure to look it up. Having to operate off my 3G connection on my iPad due to being admitted for my 2nd inpatient stay on an acute psychiatric ward (the 2nd time in as many months)!

     

    Is your pet ferret called Owen?

     

    Sorry to hear you're in hospital. Yes, my ferret's called Owen. He came with that name as I got him from a rescue centre. He's 5 years old and I wasn't sure if changing his name would confuse him. He was at the rescue for 3 years. Most ferrets are sociable but he definitely isn't! So it's just him and me. He's awesome :)

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