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Well had my meeting earlier today and although we didn't get all we wanted from it, i think we got enough to satisfy our concerns. Where in past school was not willing to deviate from plan we now have it entered that if child continues to hit grandson then he will be excluded from classroom setting for a undisclosed period. Have also got assurances that if any further incidents occur we will be notified immediatly and not several hours later or end of day. Have also got the assurance that grandson's honesty will not be getting questioned, when reporting incidents to teacher( other approaches to be used to confirm findings ). Added monitors in playground too stop any incidents developing. Not to force friendship with chlld on grandson through play. Grandson and child to be seperated at all times in classroom/ meal time settings. 2 teachers in classroom settting at all times with 1 designated in area of said child. Although notes were being taken it wasn't until i started taking notes that i was offered a copy of meeting, to which my relpy was i've started now so i might as well finish. Did reiterate what was written down, which was acknowledged. Grandson will start back tomorrow , but for the remainder of this week he will only be going in from 12noon -2pm and 10am -2pm to see how he adapts being back in classroom. If everything okay and he happy enough then we will extend this to 10am -3pm and then 9am -3pm the following week. Thanks everyone for advice and support through this difficult period.

Thanks. Been wondering the same thing myself. It certainly may be working for the school and other child, but it most certainly is not working for grandson and ourselves. Will be raising this issue with them myself. Unfortunately social worker on duty this week and as such if anything comes in prior to meeting then that would take priority. Willn't know if s/w are going to be at meeting until I turn up. Will keep you posted on outcome of meeting.

Thanks again for the advice/support, it's very much appreciated, some of which i am now looking into. Have now went from being sympathetic to school/child too being angry, frustrated and at my wits end with the whole thing. Child was reintroduced back into classroom setting at beginning of new session in New Year. 6 school days later child has hit/assaulted my grandson on 2 occassions. The first in the morning when in line up too go back into class after break. Child repeatedly kicking grandson on back of legs. Grandson reported to teacher and child got into trouble but not put out of class. The 2nd occassion was during fruit break, child kicked grandson in back as he was returning to his seat, this was in the classroom. On the 2nd occassion grandson told teacher again and when child was confronted by teacher about this his reply was he was only trying to hold onto him to get up from floor. Grandson was adamant that both had already stood up and that when incident occurred grandson was near his seat, other child should have been in opposite direction as they are not in same group. When Grandson had told me about these incidents i was very angry as no-one from schoool had informed me of this. After talking to partner we decided that it would be best if he did not return to school until we got some assurances from them that this was not going to happen again and what strategy/plan they where going to put in place to make sure it would not reoccur. Unfortunatly on contacting head teacher about incidents i was informed by her that she was NOT aware of any incidents. The teacher concerned was on a training day and not available to confirm/deny incidents. If incidents had occurred then she would have known as at end of day as any incidents in school get reported to her. On this occassion it transpired the incidents where NOT reported to her. On asking what the next step would be as i couldn't be expected to return Grandson to school in the knowledge that he was still being targeted by this child. Was taken aback when told that the reason the 2nd incident had occurred was due to support teacher having to leave early for appointment and that other teacher failing to turn up to take her place in classroom. Was told that this was a one off and that they would ensure there would be 2 teachers in classroom at all times. In otherwards i was to put my Grandson back into classroom with no punishment for the other child and under the same integration plan. Told her i was not happy with current arrangement, that i had agreed to plan but as it had failed i needed further assurances other than present plan that Grandson would not be hit again. Was not willing to give assurances , in fact was told couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't be hit again, but that they would do best they could to ensure this didn't happen. Told her i wasn't happy with this and wouldn't be returning Grandson until something better than this was put forward. Was then told to speak to Pupil Support Mgr, which i did , but both seemed to be reading from same script, that it was a hiccup and wouldn't happen again, and give plan another go. Told her i would need assurances and if any further incidents occurred then what steps would be taken against other child. Was basically told they couldn't give any further assurances that incidents would stop or that any further action would be taken other than what was already implemented. Again i was not happy by response and said so. I was then put in touch with Quality Improvement Officer who was in agreement with the integration plan that was agreed and on him looking at it,on paper, it should work and i should give it another go. Told him the same as Pupil Support, and no point in me sending Grandson back to school if that he got hit again no further action was going to happen. He inferred that if the frequency of the occurrances got longer then everyone was winning. I begged to differ as it was my Grandson who was being used as the guinea pig and as such would not be returning until they changed present set up. So as it stands we are at a stand off with a further meeting to take place next Tuesday with Head teacher and Quality Improvement Officer. Think it is going to be a pointless exercise as no one seems to want to budge. Have looked at getting Grandson into other school, which does have ASD wing, but Grandson would have to be assessed by forum for this. Have a showing this morning at said school. There is a place available for his class year, but down side is that school intake is double the size of his present one. Class size is also about 10 more than his present one. Have tried contacting Ed Resources to get matter resolved only to have Quality Improvement Officer phone me to say that he is the one i am going to have to deal with as he the one under the Head of Ed Resources. Not totally sure of this but had already said to receptionist that i was not happy with response from both Pupil Support & Quality Improvement Officer and as such looking for someone else to deal with my complaint only for him to phone me 30 mins later. Think we are in an upward struggle and could take the easy option of taking the place at other school but think it is morally wrong that we/grandson have to do this. Also think that as things have strained between ourselves and school if grandson had to return to school he would be looked on/ treated differently. Grandson has now been out of school for 2 weeks. Have had to give him work to do at home, i.e. curriculum books bought from shops for his age group, these have mostly been Maths & English books. Only good things that have come out of this is that he now knows all his times tables and can now do long division as well as harder subtraction than he was used to. We have plenty of reading books for him to read, which he appears to do fluently without much trouble. Although this is not ideal it is better this than letting him sit about all day watching t.v. or playing computer games. He does get out to local indoor play area where he can burn up some energy, not on a daily basis but every 2nd day ( 2pm -4pm ). We are trying our best to do what is best for him but finding it really hard to get someone in authority on our side. Still waiting for social worker to get back to us, been on holiday.

Thanks for the advice on this , very much appreciated. So far child has not been placed back in classroom, and only very minimal contact with my grandson during p.e. So for the time being the integration doesn't look to have progressed as nothing has changed. Grandson can become quite anxious and withdrawn when unhappy, hense reason for it coming to our attention in first place. He isn't really able to interact at the same level as other kids and mostly his social time at school revolves around his ds games. There are other kids who also have ds's , and they all tend to have this as a common interest, so grandson tends to be accepted as one of them. Outside of these groups i'm afraid he would be alone as he just cant grasp the concept of playing within rules. He has recently lost his closest friend who left to go to another school in area, he always had plenty of time for grandson and seemed very understanding and compassionate for one so young. He felt his departure hard. It now looks like his other close friend could be leaving after festive holidays also, so will have to keep eye on the situation, Thanks again.

Thanks nippy sweetie & Sally 44 for the advice. We are on the Kinship Care network for South Lanarkshire but so far it looks as if they don't do/have any support groups for parents of children with ASD. Like wise I think for Glasgow. Any support groups in South Lanarkshire that could help is too far away for travelling, especially when time restraint for schools. Have tried SW in past in hope they could point me in right direction for support but they seemed to know less than I did. Would seem best advice I have had is from yourselves. Hopefully I will have better luck with your suggestions. Thanks again.

Finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that eldest grandson has been diagnosed with autism. Not sure on how to approach subject with school or grandson ( not aware ). Not sure on how I should approach subject myself as I am not sure in what is actually wrong with him. Don't have a great understanding of the meanings behind autism. Report only baffles me more, by saying one thing but not elaborating enough to explain. He was previously diagnosed with dyslexia in 2010. We knew from the age of 5 that he was dyslexic, but couldn't get assessment for him till he was 9yrs old. Had always thought his anger was related to his frustration caused by his dyslexia. The screaming and shouting and the occasional outbursts of kicking out at things when younger, these I thought were related to his dyslexia. The scrutinising of objects from different angles I always thought was a just a kid being curious. Watching re- runs of his favourite programmes just what a normal kid would do. These and more I thought were normal and not unusual. What changed was when his little brother got diagnosed earlier this year (2013) with Aspbergers and AD/HD. Up until then we thought and believed all he had was AD/HD, believed this from an early age..he's now 8yrs old. It was only when talking to the phychologist and him explaining to me what Aspergers was that I started to look at eldest grandsons behaviour differently. Not right away I might add, but over a short period of time. From noticing drawings on bedroom wall all being the same to strange noises he would make and of his diet, how he would only eat certain foods. After speaking to phsychologist and asking for an assessment for grandson, told had to be through G.P. as he had finished with him, but would be happy for him to be reassessed as it was not uncommon for Aspbergers to run in other siblings. He assured me at the time that when assessment was carried out in 2010 for dyslexia that this would have/ should have picked up on anything other than his dyslexia. Had assessment last month ( October ) and report came through this month ( November ). Must admit I was shocked when I was told he was autistic, thought there was a lot of similarities to his younger brother but a lot of differences too. Now I have the report for nearly 3 weeks now, told results of assessment end of October and I am no where near understanding his condition and what we can do to help him understand his condition and help him in the progress. I know what to do in terms of his brother, but for him I don't understand his needs or what we need to do or alter to attain his needs. Don't know if if explained that to well, but trying my best. I feel, maybe wrong, but it seems this is more complex than his brothers Aspbergers and the not understanding of Autism doesn't help in us helping him. Any suggestions on what I should do here..need advice on. Thanks.

Given that we don't live in the area of his school, and he has been there since nursery, the option of moving him to another mainstream school is not likely. He is settled there, has some friends and those within his class, although not fully understanding his condition, know he is slightly different to them. He is very intelligent, loves talking about space and science, is very good at maths and has a very good understanding of the meaning of words with no problems with his reading. Unfortunately the teaching side could be better, some teachers better than others, taking the time to understand his condition and work with him to overcome any hurdles he may have. Any way the outcome of the meeting was basically what I thought it would be about. The integration of the child back into the classroom setting. The safe guards that they would implement for grandson during integration and the period of time for complete integration. This would involve a slow progression of integrating the child back into classroom with the goal of having the child fully integrated by Easter break. While child was in classroom setting he would be monitored/supervised by classroom assistant. Any chance that both boy and grandson would come into contact in a 1 to 1 situation would be appeased by either child having to change for P.E. or get ready for playtime/home time separately from others. When in a group setting both children will not be allowed in close proximity to each other i.e. not sitting next to each other or across from each other and situation to be supervised at all times, a risk assessment to be made before this can happen. Have agreed to this, against partners wishes, because I feel that school must be given the opportunity to rectify the situation. If this fails and given that they have had the opportunity to rectify situation then they can have no qualms about myself then asking for other child to be excluded from school. It's not my wish for this not to succeed but given past history I don't hold out much hope. I don't blame the child, he has his problems, and to a certain degree I don't blame the school either, they try there best, but maybe for this particular boy mainstream school is not what is needed. Thanks again for the advice.

I believe the child only recently tranferred from another local school 2 terms back. On that occassion a girl had to be placed in another class of same year. Seemingly girl had been transferred to present school because of bullying by this boy. Once her mother found out they were both in same class, girl was replaced in another of same year. I also believe that said boy is already under social work supervision and believe this maybe why school is giving him so much leeway. The reason we took him out of school was that we did not feel that school could safe guard him from further attacks within classroom setting. Even with 2 teachers in classroom, boy was still seeking opertunities to attack grandson. Im angry with the fact that other than being unable to safe guard him from attacks, the school is taking advantage of his condition in trying to make them friends. He (grandson) thinks that because attacks have stopped that everything is okay between them and will go along with anything that school says. Thanks for the support.

My grandson aged 8 was diagnosed last year with Aspbergers & AD/HD. Last term he had an incident with another child hitting him, this was quickly knocked in the head by his then teacher and no further incidents followed. From day one of this term my grandson has been repeatedly hit by this same child, most of these incidents has resulted in him being punched in the privates. Other times he has been punched in face & back, feet being trod on and most recently stabbed in back by pencil. Had been at school and complained to his teacher and head mistress. On my first complaint i was told that my grandson was attracted to this boy, even though we had told him not to go near him and he said he hadn't. My grandson doesnt lie and wouldnt know how to. On the second complaint we where then told that the boy had a similar disorder to our grandson and that they would try a different approach with both boys. Past incidents were put down to misunderstanding(misreading of situation ) on the childs part, or accidents.There approach was to involve them playing together supervised in school, hoping to make them friends. Being sympathetic to the childs condition and parents plight we agreed to this happening. Needless to say it never materialised as on the next day at school, our grandson was stabbed in back with pencil. What followed was us taking our grandson out of school for the following 3 days. On his return i had a meeting with the head mistress and got the assurance that the boy would not be allowed in classroom while my grandson was there. This has resulted in the boy being excluded from classroom, doing all his work in office. He has also been excluded from playground. How long this will last for i do not know, but think it will change very soon. I should point out that the incidents concerning the pencil and punch in face were done in classroom with both teacher and support teacher in attendence. Both busy at time with other kids and did not witness incidents. On both occassions my grandson was asked by support teacher if he was sure it was not an accident. On both occassions the boy was asked by support teacher did you accidentally hit grandson. On another occassion grandson was eating his lunch when the boy sat across from him and dropped his cutlery, while under table retrieving items he punched grandson in groin area. This resulted in my grandson being moved to another table. Another incident was when grandson was just about to leeave cubicle in toilet, when same boy stopped him from leaving, blocking his exit, and began to hit him in groin area. The head teacher had said at meeting it would be best if i had a meeting with the senior manager pupil support for the area as they did not know what else to do with boy. Not sure why we have to have meeting with senior manager and not boy's parents. Also in last few days our grandson has been taken out of classroom by support teacher and taken to boy in gym hall where boy has told him he doesnt know why he hit him and was sorry for his actions. On an other occassion, again he was taken out of classroom and taken to boy by support teacher and he was toldby boy he wanted to be friends with him. Just recently, friday, he and 2 other kids were taken from classroom, during golden time, too office where they played with there ds's with this boy.Feeling very angry about last few days as we were not consulted about any of these things happening and feel this has a lot to do with forth coming meeting wih senior manager, this coming monday. Any ideas on how i should approach this meeting or am i being over protective.

Hi Sally 44, thanks for the advise. The working memory is a problem for him hense the school have been advised to use visuals when giving instructions to him, to much info and the brain cant decipher it. Dont believe this has been happening which i think has resulted in meeting with teacher. Hopefully things get back on track now. Lyndalou thanks for those contacts, think i will give them a call in morning as im off work then.

Just recently had meeting with child sychologist who is dealing with grandson. Explained to us what he was putting in place for him, concerning treatment. Meeting with Consultant Phychiatrist on 13th of this month to discuss forms of medication for grandsons AD/HD. Awaiting appointment with Occupational Health Worker concerning grandsons toileting, co-ordination and balance due to his falling/tripping. Also awaiting appointment for Speech & Language due to difficulty in sometimes understanding what granson is saying ( this was his idea ), think had something to do with how when talking his voice goes from high pitch to low pitch mid sentence, which can make it hard to understand what he is saying , and can often result in asking him to repeat ,which i am sure is frustrating for him. Have also raised subject of getting his older brother reassessed for aspergers, To this he said that when he was getting assessed for his dyslexia, the tests would have picked up if had aspergers but that it wasnt unknown for siblings in one family to have aspergers, quite common, and as such if we wished to discuss this more at home and still wished for older grandson to be assessed for aspergers then he would gladly put him forward for assessment. On the subject of older grandson, would anyone know what average of the population suffer from dyslexia. Reason i am asking is that had a meeting with his teacher the other day concerning how/why he didnt attend school last Tuesday. Through this discussion with teacher, she happened to mention that he was not the only one in his class with dyslexia. In this discussion she said there were 9 children including my grandson diagnosed with dyslexia, 8 confirmed diagnosed and 1 put in the high catagory of possibility.Although she said that she couldnt divulge who these children where, during discussion she did mention 2 of them, these kids names were mentioned on more than 1 occassion. Out of a class of 23 this would work out as 1 child in 2.5 / 2.6 having dyslexia. Is this percentage not very high ? Or is this me be fobbed of due to my concerns about her teaching methods when teaching grandson.

Hi guys, thanks for the advice. So far the toilet taget doesnt seem to be working. Still having to clean up pools of pee on floor. It seems to be similar if not same prob as KarmaDestiny has with her child in that he waits to last moment and then suddenly its all over the place. Imust admit though that he doesnt tend to wet his trousers,very often. As for the showering, im afraid he doesnt like showers too much, he tends to sit not stand away from the water spray. Baths are slightly better but in both he just tends to sit there not washing himself,although heis particular about cleaning his hands after toilet, meals and especially after using sticky stiff whether it be sweets or glue ,tape etc.In one occassion he made a big fuss at school about not being able to wash his hands that the teacher had to take him to toilet so he could do so. He does go school dinners and on odd occassion go pack lunch. He is not a fussy eater and eats 99% of things put down to him. He gets choices on school lunches and he selects what he wants, enjoying most if not all. Thanks

Hi Lynda. Thanks for the info, wasn't aware of this although i am now getting info through s/w concerning carers groups in South Lanarkshire.Think though these are just for carers not aspergers groups. Certainly worth following up though. Thanks again. Rob.

Thanks for the link. Noting ventured nothing gained, so they say. Thanks again.

Hi. My grandson has a problem that every time he goes to use the toilet he ends up missing the pan leaving a small, sometimes large puddle in bathroom. Unless he is supervised this is what normally happens. As far as we are aware this does not seem to be a prob at school, well nobody has mentioned it to us. Also on occassions when doing a no.2, if it does not drop he helps it on it's way. As you can imagine this can result in a lot of mess being put elsewhere. We often have to check him and toilet after use. He does not bed wet and doesn't wet his trousers when out, although often asks to do no.1 on way home from school where no toilets are available. So as he's only 7yrs. i allow him to do so. He does this even when i have asked him if he needs before leaving school for home.