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ModestyBrown

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About ModestyBrown

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    Norfolk Broads

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    Female
  • Location
    Oxfordshire
  1. Hello girlracer! I'm really pleased that the thread was useful for you too and I'm very sorry to hear that you and you're son are having such a tricky time of it at the moment. I'm particularly sorry to hear about the exclusions, that must be extremely hard because it disrupts any routine you manage to get into, I would imagine? I completely identify with you saying how emotional it's becoming for you meeting up with school to discuss things. I find it impossible to be emotionally detached and school have been good about respecting my wishes not to debrief me every day unless something specific had happened and to call instead of catching me during the school run. Things have settled down for us significantly at school, and I'm pleased that the running away from school has stopped for now. It's not perfect though and as we've finally got a date for CAHMS, I will be pushing for a diagnosis so that we have better access to support. It must be extremely frustrating that you have to wait till May for a diagnosis? Can you access any support locally on the basis of the consultants likely diagnosis? It's great that you've got the 1:1 TA without a statement. Do you feel like the TA is someone that your son will feel comfortable with? If you ever need an ear, I'd be happy to give you my email to chat (feel free to PM me). I've had such a lot of support from online friends which has made all the difference, as it can be so isolating. As you say, it's good just to know you're not alone x
  2. I'd never really considered it before tbh, particularly as the OT never suggested it. In her words 'He doesn't have poor motor skills, per se..more an issue with planning and organisation of activity'. She particularly picked up on his poor pen grip. James seems clumsy at times with general movement and fine at others. Having read up a bit more about dyspraxia now, I can't discount it and it would definitely be worthwhile raising the questions when he does have another MDA.
  3. Thank you so much for all of your input Sally, very much appreciated. I downloaded quite a few bits from ace the other day when I saw they were closing down. I will definitely investigate the other websites you've mentioned and get a copy of the SEN Code of Practice. He's definitely struggling with his own emotions at the moment. When he's not anxious or uptight he gets on ok but at the moment I think he's stressed trying to remember all the do's and don't of the new class and his behaviour plan Precisely. I think "fight or flight" I think he's wrestling with it most of the day, hence it appearing to others that he's suddenly gone off at the deep end without an obvious lead up. I think it's also hard to understand for others that just because we wouldn't get upset at something, doesn't mean he won't. He has seen and been observed by a Clinical Psychologist before. Neither of whom really picked up on anything as he was having a good day both times. We've been discharged from them completely but I remember I was told we could return to the GP for referral if required. I will remember to specify someone with particular experience of Aspergers. The Educational Psychologist on Monday said she would really need to contact a specialist in Autism for the most appropriate advice. In numeracy he's above average. He's average to above average in most areas and he's really advanced in reading. For the most part, this is his natural ability not what he's been taught at school. I can see that some of the methods they use at school actually confuse him with things he can do naturally e.g. addition. This is absolutely a problem in our case. Because my son is bright, it's easy to expect that a whole days worth of lessons would be great and that he would respond to normal reasoning. It's easy to interpret his behaviour as manipulating and that he's thought through running off in order to avoid work. It's definitely not the case at all and I'm positive he's trying his very best to please everyone and do as he's supposed to, it just gets to much for him.
  4. Hi, yes I think you're absolutely right that we need to identify the cause of the meltdowns. I can't get much out of him beyond the fact that there isn't enough free play in the day anymore. I don't think it's sensory overload, I think it's the fact that they are repeatedly making him do work that he finds a struggle. Without me being able to observe him myself, it's hard for me to see if there's a pattern. I strongly feel that he can't manage a whole day sitting down and doing work in the classroom.
  5. Thanks for the lovely welcome.
  6. My boy sounds very similar in the sense that he hates getting things wrong and not being very good at something. He also doesn't take well to other people being wrong too! He dislikes writing and drawing as he's not adept (he's had assistance improving his fine motor skills for pencil grip etc) and asking him to write a story from his own imagination, well you can pretty much forget it! His reading is very good, he taught himself to read around 4 so he's currently got one of his favourite Thomas books in his book bag in the hope that he will read it when he needs to calm down. He's not taken to the beanbag that they've provided for him to use for 'time out' but I don't know where to suggest to him as an alternative. Socially, he enjoys interacting with the other children but he doesn't get invites or anything. His best friend is probably his younger brother and watching them play together, it's clear that J is still very immature in his play. Diagnosis wise: we tried once before when he was 5 and just starting school. He went for a multi-disciplinary assessment and they saw nothing beyond the motor skills issues and some delay in answering questions. PCAMHS was fruitless too. We're going to try again though and HT is waiting for the EP report for him to submit with a request to PCAMHS. Thanks for mentioning the Autism Outreach Team too, I will investigate that as input would be most welcome.
  7. Thank you so much Mel. I've just spotted you're in Oxfordshire too :waves:. Sharing your experience is actually very useful indeed. From December to July, J was really settled last year and the shadowing and some of the small group stuff he did was phased out, so we know he can manage on his own. From what you've said, I can better see the schools reluctance. Having said that, he's had another bad day today, throwing things around and it's definitely that physical aggression aspects that makes me want someone to be there to prevent the meltdowns before they happen. At the moment he goes in 5 minutes early to get settled in. Since the beginning of the week, I've had to stay on site until all the gates are shut to prevent him trying to run home too (he doesn't know I'm there). I'm not sure if there are patterns emerging in when he misbehaves yet. He was outside when I went to pick up, which I expect was assembly avoidance - funnily enough he says it's BORING too. When I ask him what he doesn't like about the day, he just says he wants to be back in Yr1 and have more play time. We've talked at length about how it can be boring doing work all day but everyone has to do it. School would really like advice on how to deal with the angry outburst but I'm out of ideas tbh and I'm not sure what advice I can access without a diagnosis. I'm constantly going through social stories, he knows the rules and expectations, we're talking about the feeling of the anger building and he knows he should go off to calm down when that happens. But once he's got himself angry, all of this goes out of the window. I just don't think he's capable of joining in all of the lessons through the day, maybe if he had a break from the classroom doing a couple of the subjects 1:1 or in a quiet area out of the class he'd be a little better? I can feel myself clutching at straws! Thank you so much again for responding and listening.
  8. My 6 year old is really struggling to settle back into school at the moment. He has Asperger's but doesn't yet have a formal diagnosis, he's on action plus and has had previous problems settling at school at the beginning of the year. The EP came for an observation on Tuesday, she has offered school some ideas to help but admitted that she does need to seek further advice from an ASD specialist. At the moment he is having frequent meltdowns at school (including object throwing) and he often leaves the class for extended periods of time. We've never had problems with him running away but he's been showing signs of wanting to run home from school, especially at times of the day when the gates are still open. He seems to be struggling with the more formal setting of Year 2 and the fact that he can not longer opt out of the adult led activities that he doesn't enjoy. Joining adult led activities has been a target of previous IEPs. He has two new class teachers as they jobshare and new TAs this year, and doesn't seem to have particularly bonded with any of the adults. I have tried lots of social stories and introducing a 0-5 scale to help him identify when the anger is rising but he's flaring up so quickly, I'm not sure he can see it coming. I did discuss the possibility of him having more dedicated TA support to get through this tricky period, as it's much easier to calm him down and spot impending meltdowns this way. When he had similar problem last year, a specific TA shadowed him at 'danger times' and this helped tremendously. However, school say he's too able to justify it and cite concerns about him becoming dependent on 1:1 support. In fact, the teacher has suggested that I try not to give him my undivided attention when he's catching up on the work he missed at home. I want to support school as I'm desperate to get him settled but I do worry that not giving him that 1:1 support at home might end in disaster. I feel J needs to feel relaxed at home as the school day is obviously stressing him out. I suspect the reason they see '0-60' reactions at school is because he spends the majority of the day in a state of anxiety so it doesn't take much to set him off. Are school right in thinking it's wrong to give a child with Asperger's extra support as they will 'enjoy' it and become dependent? My instincts tell me a bonded relationship with an adult will help him to settle and feel less anxious but I feel at sea without specialist advice.
  9. ModestyBrown

    Hi!

    Hi, this is my first post on this forum and I wanted to introduce myself. I'm a Mum to three children: my eldest is a month shy of 7yrs and has (as yet) undiagnosed Asperger's. As usual, we are having a really rocky start to the school year and the frequent calls and chats at school are grinding me down. I got the nod from the EP on Tuesday that now is the time to pursue a diagnosis again. We had a previous failed attempt when he was 5. This time I'm determined not to be brow beaten by the specialist as we desperately need the right support at school. I'm looking forward getting advice and support on here on our journey
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