oakers

I think that a sub forum would be a good idea. There are obviously things people want to talk about but the current rules won't allow, or they don't feel comfortable knowing that all ages view this at the moment. Would it not be a case of altering the permissions that a person's account had so that they could access that sub forum?

That's really interesting Merry... I had a Samoyed and to be fair he didn't bark really, although he did howl... at sirens mostly! haha... I'll have to look into that further. I had a staffie back home in Australia, and we all thought he didn't know how to bark... until one time when we were broken into and the police were walking around where he must have seen the burglars and he let rip... he knew how to bark alright, he'd just kept quiet since he was a pup!

I really hate dogs barking too Nesf... we have a few round here that seem to bark quite a bit, one especially. We're very lucky with ours as she barks very infrequently.

I don't believe anyone is a hopeless case... as long as there is breath in someone's body there is hope. And, it's just dependent on circumstances... a lot also depends on what you want out of life. There is something in what people say about how you can change your life if you want to... so, we're different, and we may all experience varying degrees of difficulties due to AS / ASD etc, but who says that we can't make the most of our situation. Things might seem hard but if life was easy wouldn't it be rather boring? (Granted, easy would be nice at times!) It's interesting what you say there about boxes Merry, and I find that with so many things... going to the doctor I find I have problems in getting anywhere because I don't tick all the boxes to fit into yet another box, we get put in a box because we behave a certain way, because we choose to dress in a certain way, or have certain friends or whatever it may be. People will always have their little boxes, but you know what... I have mine too. I just use them differently to everyone else I know... A colleague at work actually made me realise that boxing things up makes them easier to deal with and it actually seems I've done it all my life without realising. So, I may deal with something and then box it up and put it at the back of my mind... then I can go an open a box later on if I feel ready to deal with it... maybe boxes aren't so bad, if they're used in the right way eh!?

If you look at the definition of normal (for instance this one taken from dictionary.com)... conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. ... you can see why some tend to use this to describe people as it is referring again to our favourite topic, conforming! Now, say we don't conform, then by definition of normal, we can't possibly be 'normal'. Is that such a bad thing? We were born different, not abnormal, not weird, not any other adjective anyone wants to come up with... just different. And, I truly believe, in this instance different is NOT a bad thing. We should celebrate the fact that we aren't 'normal' and embrace the fact that we have skills / talents / traits that others don't. Fair enough some of us have difficulties in certain areas and that can cause problems for us in work life, family life etc, but then there are probably things we can do and are good at that others wish they were, it may be in being creative, in manual work, in stats, in caring... who knows what everybody's special trait or talent may be, but I bet every one of us has got one? So, in a way, who cares what normal is... we don't have to conform to be accepted. Eventually we'll come across people who will accept us for who we are, and when we do, we'll realise that it was worth the wait. How's that for positivity!?!

Ok... I don't know if this is going to sound right, but here goes anyway... People often say that eyes are the windows to the soul, yes? So, if we are really very different and we are in fact wired differently to those around us, perhaps it's just our eyes reflecting that?

Ok, without wanting to sound inflammatory here, but what does something sounding negative to you do with finding your feet as a moderator?

That's one of the main reason I don't like cats... they are far too independent, and hunt which I REALLY don't like. They also mess in other peoples' gardens, very often never doing so in their own gardens, so their owners haven't the responsibility of picking up after them, everyone else does No, no cats for me! Unless they were house trained and house cats... but give me a dog any day

I think the easiest way is to google support groups in your area... that's what I did and realised quickly that there were none!! I too like the idea of the forum, but I guess interaction with people is sometimes good for us right!?

Looks like this would have been very interesting. I've just done a search on my telly for it and it doesn't look like its being repeated sadly.

I get that things are difficult for you Smiley but maybe if you took a little more time to post it'd be easier for people to understand. When you post you sound erratic and make little sense at times... maybe looking back at your posts when you're about to post them you could edit and make them a little easier to understand? I know many of us take a lot of time over our posts and re-read and sometimes edit before we commit to it being our 'final' post. Just a thought.

He was being positive... he was saying he 'hopes' that the wild card approach will be a thing of the past. This in itself is a positive comment. I too hope that it will be as I feel the forum has been suffering a little lately and it would be nice to see an injection of positivity into it and see people helping each other and enjoying being on here. Nice to see that more people have been appointed moderators... hopefully being that there is a wider cross section of new moderators things will be easier for those moderating, and those being moderated

Welcome Hopefully you'll find the forum useful... there's lots of us that have been diagnosed late on so know what it's like to be in your situation... I'm not sure that there are many services available to those of us who are older though. I know there are some support groups in various areas but that's about it as far as I'm aware. I do hope that you manage to get the diagnosis if you think it will help. Knowing yourself though, you can address things that might be an issue, and maybe like the rest of us, knowing more about it will answer questions you might have had growing up.

Ok, so as the topic suggests this is about pets. Who has them, what variety are they and what do they mean to you? I have a gorgeous little girl Patterdale called Lottie. She's about 1.5 and she's the best thing to have happened to me in a long time. I got her at 7 weeks, just as my physical health was becoming more of an issue and she helped me through a particularly rough period in my life. She gives me the motivation to get up and out, although she's not too keen on rain, which I'm quite glad in a sense as walking in the rain is definitely not a favourite pastime. I make sure I walk her through areas in which we'll have to go past people and I know she can't help herself from wanting to socialise with every human and dog possible. Given that she forces me to talk to people so that can only be a good thing. When I get in after work there she is to keep me company and sit there, no judgements, just her unconditional love. She adores being near you when she's tired and loves a good cuddle every now and then. She keeps me sane and in relation to my physical health she keeps me moving. She means the world to me and I adore her.

This was meant to lighten the mood around here... It's a shame that things are quiet in general around here.

Hi Rob, welcome to the forum. How long have you considered you might have AS and how long did it take to conclude that it was an actual diagnosis for you? How does having this, on top of your ADHD diagnosis make you feel? Do you feel that you've been supported since diagnosis, by professionals, family, friends? Or have you not chosen to disclose to family etc? So many questions from me!! Do you have any questions for us? There are many here who have had late diagnosis, myself included. (Diagnosed at 34) There are also those who have more experience with actually being diagnosed and being in the system, so to speak, as being diagnosed earlier in life. And then there are parents of. There's a well of information and support available to you here, I just hope you find it useful

Where is everyone these days?! It's so quiet around here!!

How did dinner for you and your brother go?! How lucky having a twin btw!! How was your girls night?!

Here's hoping that it doesn't take too long and things keep moving forward with regard to this. *fingers crossed*

I'm in full time employment but I can relate to this thread. I absolutely HATE answering the door to people I don't know, and I really don't like answering the house phone. I try to get off as soon as possible if it is a sales person etc and I guess sometimes I can come across as a bit abrupt, but I really, really do not like the phone. If it is someone I know I'm ok but otherwise, noooo I hate it. I also cannot deal with people who don't listen properly on the phone. I have many a time had to hand the phone over to someone else who's in the house for them to deal with things as I get SO frustrated that I really cannot continue the conversation. That said, when I'm at work and I'm on the phone I can deal with just about any situation you can throw at me... go figure! I really don't get how I do that, but it's almost like I can switch from one me to another. There have been times at work when I've been quite distressed and upset about something that has just happened on a personal level and I can pick the phone up and no one would be any the wiser.

Lyndalou you could have seriously written that first post on behalf of me, for the most part. I really don't understand a lot of what goes on over here. I used to think it was an Australian work ethic, but I'm coming to the realisation that perhaps, what I have, is an AS work ethic. I've been working since I was about 16 (however old we could have a part time job whilst in high school) and the only time I've been out of work was when I fractured a foot, and then broke a toe on the other, after moving up north from Dorset. That was for a grand total of a couple of weeks. I've taken jobs that no one would really want and I had to endure being told that I was 'taking the jobs of all the English people that would want them'. One job was literally running an office and sorting out jobs / ordering materials at a refrigeration company, for less than what is now minimum wage. The other job that I apparently 'stole' from all these people that wanted it was working as a ward clerk at a high secure mental hospital. So many people wanted it, that when the job alongside mine was advertised they had no takers!!! Go figure. I've always worked my butt off... I always want to do a really good job... my boss has said to me I'm a perfectionist, and I guess she's right. I too have had the situation in just about every job where people have commented on how little certain colleagues seem to be doing and how much I do, but again, they don't do anything about it. Very frustrating isn't it!?

double post, sorry

After much consideration I decided to tell people at work and it was around October I guess, about a month or so after my diagnosis. I kept swinging from telling to not telling, with pros and cons for both. Considering I'd had quite a lot of trouble with communication issues with two colleagues (the ones I work work in an office with) I decided the best thing to do was to tell everyone in my department, that way no one was in the dark, and no one had to tell others behind my back. I told a trusted couple of people first to test the waters and I was happy enough that, perhaps, everyone would be ok with it. I'd say three of my colleagues are a bit... not so great I guess... and I feel like they have started treating me like I'm thick at times. This is rather frustrating as I know that I'm anything but thick, as do they as I've worked with them for 3 years and they've seen what I can do, and what I do every day. Anyway, I think for the most part it has been positive, but I'm not sure what I'd do if I was going for another job. To tell or not to tell, that is the question! Now, with family it was a no brainer, I told my mum and my brother straight away. My father was on holiday from Australia when I was going for my tests and I told him that I might have it, and he decided to throw it back in my face when we had a rather wild argument thanks to his gf... so, that was probably the hardest reaction I've had to deal with. The friends that I've decided to tell have been perfectly fine with it

This sounds very promising!! Good luck with the interview... hope it goes really well

How exactly am I being aggressive or rude?!