Hi Mandy,
I really sympathise with you and agree that your son needs a male role model in his life. My son has finally been diagnosed last Nov, but he was referred to a mentoring programme last year by his primary school. My son found this really helpful, the one I used was Chance UK and I asked for a male mentor as his father was not seeing him regularly and I thought he need a male perspective in his life (He has 5 older sisters). Chance matched him up to a super mentor who saw my son every week for a year and the change in him was amazing.
Funnily enough his dad starting wanting to see him more - he was jealous of the mentor! He sees him much more regularly now, but I am in the same boat as you, I do not get any financial help from him and I don't know if he is working or earning as he simply refuses to discuss it with me, however he also thinks he's allowed to come over whenever he likes and when he likes so I find dealing him really frustrating as he invades my space and boundaries. I want my son to see his father but my peace of mind with dealing with my son's ASD and his fathers stance is making me wonder whether his fathers invovlement is worth it! Especially as he implies i'm not doing enough and I should watch what I spend and I will have more money!
In your case I say go back to the CSA, he can obvioulsy afford it, whether he sees him or not you are entitled to the maintenance.
