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aspieman

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Posts posted by aspieman


  1. I have been posting on ASD boards for over 8 years and there is so much pent up anger in some individuals. I try and support others but it becomes a drain on one self sometimes, It leaves me feeling like I have done something wrong when I make a couple of contributions to a member's thread when they are crying out for support and I don't get acknowledged.

     

    I have been a moderator on different sites for many years but the pressure becomes to much when people start getting angry.

     

    Some people keep taking and not giving anything back so then it get's unhealthy.

     

    I do try very hard to be supportive but suffering with depression myself makes it difficult at times.

     

    I have all the respect in the world for the mods here.

     

    Is it just me being sensitive or do others agree?

     

     

     

    Paul


  2. Willow, Just ignore there stupid negative comments! You give me inspiration and it's very nice to see such a positive person educating others and trying to help others. :)

     

    I know that there's not much return from book sales and also know how much it cost's to run a website, In all honesty I hope in the future that you can make loads of money because if you do you would of worked hard for that cash and you deserve it all.

     

    Some people just get jealous in life, Ignore them. It's really lovely to see couples like you and Chris. :) Please carry on making you tube videos, I like watching them and they give me hope.


  3. Hi Matzoball, having just read through that bit again, I really don't think Oakers was making a point directly to you, to me at least, it read as though she was quoting your words in order to build on them, not to attack you at all....but in agreement. I hope that's the case anyway. EVERYBODY who has responded to this thread, has made some brilliant points, and i agree with you all. The bickering and taking things the wrong way has GOT to stop! Mike_GX101 should agree with me, I did it to him a few days ago! Why was i so defensive over a comment he made which turned out to be innocent? I don't know and i apologized and i'll do it again now...(Sorry Mike!)...we all need to take a step back and realize that we all have more in common than we realize. We all are here for similar reasons, we all want to help others when we feel able, we all seek the wisdom and advice from others when we need it, and we want a place where we fit in....and we can be emotional....defensive....maybe because we're so used to being spat on by the world! We don't have to have that here.

     

    Lets agree to each personally welcome new members, to respond to people's threads if no one else has as a matter of courtesy so that they don't feel excluded, and to just do little bits each, here and there, whenever we can, to improve the mood and experience of this forum.

     

    Hugs to all....I think we all need one. :)

     

    That's an excellent post, Well here's my contribution even if I'm a man! (IE man comment regarding the hugs) :rolleyes::) ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))


  4. How about people be allowed to express themselves and explain how it feels from their perspective, instead of trying to tell them what to do? You may not like the fact that people are discussing something, but you don't have to read or reply to it.

     

     

    The place will only be able to move forward once people have started to get this out of their systems.

     

    People should be allowed to have their own opinions, make their own spelling mistakes and explain things from their own perspective unless of course there is racism, homophobia or there is a personal attack on another person.

     

    but you don't have to read or reply to it. I'm with you all the way on this one oakers. :)


  5. To be honest, the forum was really helpful and friendly; but it turned chaotic when new people not naming names turning this forum into something negative and trolling. I am sorry your leaving. Your were a great moderator.

     

    I think you're need to elaborate a bit more as I'm also new and I'm wondering if I have done something wrong without realizing?

     

    I do apologize in advance if I have.


  6. That's good news that your sister has been allowed home, I hope your sister is offered counselling and the right support to help her come to terms and deal with her very tragic loss, Other members of the family including your self might also need some support.

     

    My grandson passed away over a year a go and I still need the occasional bit of support, It's not very easy and time is a healer however your sister will never forget and will need your and your families support for many years, Again I'm really sorry for your families loss. It's great that you have learnt to use the samaritans, I have been using them for years and they really help me to offload, I hope this is also the case for yourself.


  7. It's been a pleasure reading your positive post's for so many years, It's sad to see you go, I hope that things here improve and that one day you might return, You have touched my life with your positive nature and post's and your heart felt post today, I agree that years a go this was a happier forum, Hopefully we can turn that around as there are so many in desperate need of support.

     

    Places like this are a lifeline for many and I'm sure you have helped many people over the years, I know you have helped me for which I appreciate, Because of the brilliant support that has been here from members like you for years the board that I used to co administrate have been directing people here as that board is only for AS adults and not for carer's or parents of children with asd.

     

    Once again ty for your excellent contributions you will be missed, take care.

     

     

    Paul


  8. Hi Aspieman i worry about coming accross wrongly too. It does happen, but don't think it happened in this case...you were very clear. :) And i like your positive approach despite your health worries.

     

    Ty Merry that's so kind of you. :) I always have good intention's and try and help people but misunderstandings always seem to happen on autism forums due to the nature of our disability (well I think autism is a disability but not all would agree).

     

    Back when I was in better health I used to be one of the top posters on another forum that I'm a member off but I spend more time reading post's these days, I want to post more but have low self esteem and I'm always worried that my post's might upset, My support worker asked me yesterday of 2 positive things I have done this week and I couldn't think of 1 thing, That made me realise how bad my depression is at the moment, I have very little confidence at the moment but like to try and help others as it takes the focus away from my health problems. I never used to like Christmas or my birthdays but this year I really appreciated Christmas and celebrated that I was still here, I hope that I'm still here for next Christmas as I don't want my family to go through heart ache and especially my 12 year old daughter who has aspergers as I love her dearly and don't want her to be upset but my health is slowly getting worse, It's a shame that I have so much comprehension as I realise this which just makes depression harder to deal with, I love being around my family but often wonder if I should move out as it's not fair that they are also noticing that my health is gradually getting worse so it must be very difficult for them.

     

    Having HFA I have always had to fight much harder then NT's have to too get the same rights so I'm used to fighting so there's no way I'm giving up despite how much rubbish life throws at me, I will go out kicking. :ninja:


  9. I wrote I dance around if u didn't see that most of time and walk, but still doesn't make me feel better, but I'm on my healthy diet which apparently since Christmas look like I've lost 8lbs and now I weigh 14 stone 6lbs not bad but need to reach about 9 and half stone. I am slowly losing it by week and I will be pleased when I can fit in clothes I love look at. At the moment my goal is to get into size 16 jump suit

     

    I was agreeing with you and well done on losing weight. I weigh over 23 stone and I hate that fact and it does have an impact on my depression, I did lose some weight in the summer but now I'm putting twice as much back on due to the steroids that I have to take for my COPD.

     

    I'm trying hard to lose weight as a doctor told me and my family that I could die anyday, I have never been really skinny but was never this big, Problems started in 1997 when I was put on lots of medication but then I got bowel problems and also swelling in my legs and an extended stomach probably due to heart failure.

     

    I don't think eating healthy and exercising will completely take away my depression but it does help a lot, For years now I have to take day by day as I can't focus on the future.

     

    Sorry if I come across wrongly. I hate that it's so frustrating. I used to be perfect with everything not many years a go but my thinking has got a lot slower these days and I often make mistakes that I'm not aware of straight away, I often call people here where I live the the wrong names (my family) and often people can't understand what I'm saying, I never used to be like that..


  10. I have been in a bad way with my depression recently, I have been hiding away from everybody, Eating fast food and goodies because it's easier and comforting, I have had zero contact with the outside world apart from the family I live with.

     

    Last couple of days I have been eating really healthy, Fish, veg and plenty of fruit and got out of the house for a walk and a good chat with my support worker and I feel a hundred times better, Have also rung the samaritans and off loaded which has helped a lot, I'm slowly starting to feel like a human being once again. I even managed to wash up today, I hoping to have a bath tomorrow and get out the door again even if I just go for a short drive with the family and see a bit of the outside world which will stop some of the negative thinking that I have been having that I'm totally useless, I'm in people's way and people would be better off without me, I have a doctors appointment on Friday, As much as I hate medication I might have to take some anti depressants as I haven't been in a good place recently and I realize that now.


  11. I have HFA and also have 3 daughters of which one is from another relationships and all my daughters have autism diagnosis from aspergers to asd pdd.

     

    We have been to a genic clinic and have told that there's a strong link, Both side of my family have autistic traits but my son is like my wife and my wife's father as they all have ADHD so they autism appears to be on my side.


  12. When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

    When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,

    When the funds are low and the debts are high,

    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

    When care is pressing you down a bit,

    Rest, if you must, but

    DON'T YOU QUIT!

    Life is queer with its twists and turns,

    As every one of us sometimes learns,

    And many a failure turns about

    When he might have won had he stuck it out.

    Often the struggler has given up

    When he might have captured the victors cup;

    And he learned too late when the night came down,

    How close he was to the golden crown.

    Don't give up though the pace seems slow,

    You may succeed with another blow,

    Success is failure turned inside out-

    The silver lining of the clouds of doubt.

    And you never can tell how close you are,

    It may be near when it seems so far.

    So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit...

    It's when things seem worst that you

    MUST NOT QUIT!


  13. Hi Paul

     

    When I used to go to a local group here In Essex for my son's ADHD (ADDing Support) I met some guy from Colchester who was a really good psychotherapist for aspergers, I can't remember the guys name, Used to have a card for him but can't find it but it was 10 years a go, Don't know if he still practices, I think his name was Paul but don't quote me.

     

    You could ask SAFE http://www.aspergers.org.uk/contact-us/

     

    Or

     

    Autism anglia http://www.autism-anglia.org.uk/

     

    If they don't know then I don't know who else would know, If his name comes to me I will let you know.


  14. My thoughts are with you and your family ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

     

    Last year my daughter lost her baby at 5 weeks old to cot death, Communication is very awkward and difficult with my own daughter at the moment.

     

    I really miss my grandson and wish me and my daughter could be how we used to be. As a Christian I struggle to believe in god when things like this happen.

     

    I'm really sorry about your families loss, My thoughts are with your family. x


  15. I have to brush my teeth twice a day now and use mouth wash because of my COPD medication otherwise I would get thrush, previously I have gone years without brushing my teeth, My teeth are bad, I don't have enough teeth left to eat steak and do need false teeth but I'm scared of the dentist, I'm afraid my personal hygiene is not the best as it's also a struggle to bath.

     

    I don't have much confidence, Have a very low opinion about myself and hate being autistic, I like my autistic mind but I hate the way others have treated me over the decades, I feel like a second class citizen and always have done but not only have I endured bullying from a young age at school I have been demeaned and treated like ###### from professionals and now just feel like a piece of dirt on someone's shoe with just the remnants left of who I used to be before I was destroyed!


  16. I agree with others posts that you should sit down and discuss possibilities with your friend and chew it over.

     

    I have COPD and one day I will be in the same situation, It's a very good and nice thing that you are considering doing here, As long as you are both aware of the risks and you are emotionally strong enough to handle a quest I think it would be a very nice thing to do, I hope a friend of mine would be able to do the same for me one day.

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