Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

GRP1919

Members
  • Content count

    23
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by GRP1919

  1. Hello Lynda,

     

    I noticed it was over a year ago when you last visited this forum, so I just thought I’d drop you a line and say that I hope things have been alright at your end :)I remember when I used to see threads and responses of yours on this forum quite frequently, which were interesting, it was nice to have you to chat to, and it would be nice to hear from you again some time :)

     

    All the very best,

    Gareth

    :)

     

     

  2. Hello all

    Hello there I’d like to begin by giving you a very warm welcome to this forum. It’s not hard for me to understand where you’re coming from, under what you say in your thread. I’m now thirty-two years old and was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven, all the way back in the early nineties, when the condition was almost unheard of. The support I received throughout school was only minimal, and unsurprisingly, I left school with barely one foot on the ladder of my aspirations. Getting the glass no more than half-full has been a very long and painful process. Even today, after everything I’ve been through, I can only perceive that I still have both a long way to go and far more to learn, even though I finally managed to complete a degree course early last year. For example, the support available for my personal and social development is very limited and hard-obtained. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found that one of my key strengths is presenting my true needs and emotions etc. to other people in writing. This usually proves really effective for me, so I just thought it may help you to get closer to your true ambitions in life. You can feel free to contact me whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever language with which you may feel comfortable. All the very best, Gareth
  3. Hello from a Newbie

    ...deeply regret all of this now It was a little over three years ago when I finally came to realise just how lovely and interesting a person she truly is She is just a great comfort to me at the worst of times Another thing I would like to tell you is that despite my deep, dark, isolated, stormy and turbulent past, at which I have hinted, things are now noticeably better for me. It is now almost a year since I managed to complete a degree course at last I am now determined to keep my nose clean, steering abundantly clear of trouble, for the rest of my life, in spite of (or perhaps because of) my blatantly unfortunate choices of friends from the age of sixteen to the age of nineteen. Whilst I acknowledge that the truth for me is that there is no taking a bright future for granted, I am still confident that I am on the right track for the brightest future possible for me. I would therefore not lose hope for your son's future, despite the difficulty you are facing in seeking the ideal support for his special needs as an Asperger. Maybe - just maybe - your ideal next step would be to remember the subjects in which your son has most frequently aroused a clear interest, investigate corresponding opportunities for your son, share the subjects with the teaching staff at the school(s) he could attend, and see if they can identify any links between your son's favourite subjects and what is covered in the classroom in his school year. I just thought that maybe this would cause your son to feel more positive about school, and possibly reassure him that attending school will broaden his horizons for pursuing his favourite subjects and support him in preserving the prospects of his favourite subjects :robbie: You see, one thing I understand from my experience of life on the autistic spectrum is that autistic people like your son may need extra reassurance when it comes to what you say about your "trying everything to make him happy and build his confidence," especially when they are still growing up. You are more than welcome to contact me about anything you please and whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever language you may feel comfortable with. Best wishes, Gareth
  4. Hello from a Newbie

    Hello there, My name is Gareth, I will be thirty-two in March and was formally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. From your story of your son with AS, as well as my own memories of life on the autistic spectrum as a youth, I can fully understand where your son is coming from. Even though my family and I found champion in a community-based clinical psychiatrist, in the process of my formal diagnosis, the biggest problem of all for us was that AS was almost unheard of all the way back then in 1991. Even the average healthcare professional then had very little (if any) realisation of AS and its prevalence. Many of the teachers, including my own, at the mainstream school I was attending at the time were just clueless, as well as very frequently and heavily anxious over the problems my personal and social differences were noticeably causing at school, especially in the classroom. What with my very frequent self-absorption at the time, I very seldom focused on the displays of low-spirited emotions on the parts of my teachers and peers, remaining obsessed with things in my sights in which I sought pride and comfort etc. My attitude towards school did, however, vary from day to day. For example, there were some days when I so went bananas, causing great disarray, especially amongst my peers. On the other hand, there were also days when I attended school no more than half-heartedly, but did not cause any noticeable scenes. Conversely, there were other days when I would attend school with noticeably high spirits, without responding with pathos to exploitation from peers. Even though I very frequently thought at the time that I was happy as a sand boy, what with my then inclination to look predominantly on the bright side of my life routines, I was emotionally at war with others on myriad occasions, throwing heated emotions at even my own immediate family possibly once a day on average. The solution to this ongoing conundrum was a very long and painful process. When I was roundabout your son's age, there were myriad occasions when I felt like avoiding school completely myself, as a result of very frequent and disgraceful exploitation from peers, but was just frightened of the trouble this would more-than-likely have landed me in. I do not know about your son, but I am the youngest of two siblings - I have a lovely, desirable sister two-and-a-half years my senior. Although I admit I took a very negative attitude towards her from the age of nine until the age of sixteen, as a result of being led astray by various life issues, I ever so...
  5. Hello everyone :)

    Hello Conor First of all, I would like to cordially welcome you to the forum. It is really nice to hear from you on here. I am thirty-one (b. March 1984), and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. You seem to have interests similar to mine, and I thought you might like to hear from me. You can contact me whenever it may suit you, and use whatever language with which you may feel comfortable. Best wishes, Gareth
  6. Hi - possible aspergers 7 yr old..

    Hello there, My name is Gareth, I am thirty-one years old and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. Your story about the behavioural patterns of your seven year old daughter sound very familiar to me. For example, there were countless occasions when my mother would tell me not to forget 'pleases' and 'thank yous' before going to our then local shop on my own. In addition, I always needed full prompting to say "thank you for having me" when it was time to leave a friend's house, having been kindly invited there. I would not very easily understand the true intentions of subtleties with respect to such prompting. Likewise, what I was always inclined to do when it came to going round a friend's house was to insistently make my way straight in and focus on my desire to observe certain parts of the house, paying very little (if any) attention to the friend(s) to whom the house belonged. I was basically in a world of my own and, unlike other children, would not insistently give the friend(s) a sign of appreciation of their part in my life. Sometimes I would be fussy about the particular cup(s) in which I wanted a particular drink (and the particular level I would like it to be filled to etc.), and sometimes I would not be. I would therefore not be surprised if there were any such anomalies in the behavioural patterns of your seven year old daughter. No more would I be surprised if your daughter was formally diagnosed with AS, was she to undergo any such clinical assessment. You see, it was a clinical psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me with AS on conclusion of a formal and comprehensive assessment of my personal traits and characteristics etc. Please let me know if this story of mine is of any help or interest to you.
  7. quick hello

    Hello Linda, How lovely to hear from you. My name is Gareth, I am thirty years old and was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. You say your son with AS is sixteen. I can never forget how disadvantaged I was at sixteen and that is one memory I simply never miss. You also say your son is intending to study creative media in September, so I thought you might like to know that I am a huge lover of fiction and creative arts. Examples of the ones I value are The Forsyte Saga (John Galsworthy), The Stranger’s Child (Alan Hollinghurst) and the old television sitcom To The Manor Born (starring Penelope Keith and Peter Bowles). I am currently studying for a degree in Tourism Management. I have long held a great passion for both travel and tourism. I particularly enjoy things like countryside rambling, investigating natural heritage and touring museums. My two favourite UK tourist destinations are Hampshire and Dorset. How is your son getting on at school? I hope his school life has been better than mine was. Does your son have any friends, at all? You can reply to this or send me a private message whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever language you may feel comfortable with. Kind regards, Gareth.
  8. Daughter with Aspergers?

    Hello there, My name is Gareth. I am twenty-nine and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of seven. From the experiences of your daughter's activity that you have summarised, I am sure beyond all reasonable doubt that your daughter is autistic. I cannot say with any certainty, however, that she actually has AS. Her condition could, on the other hand, be Higher Functioning Autism (HFA). As far as the issue of your daughter's being completely different at school, receiving excellent reports, it could be that one of her irresistable obsessions, as a key characteristic of the lower end of the autistic spectrum, is taking a very meek and sensible attitude, thus applying strict moral principles to practice. I do remember that I took a very tight approach to my own behavioural patterns in certain contexts at certain times, as a child and youth. For example, when we went out to places like country fairs for the day, as a family (I have a sister 2½ years my senior), I insisted that each and every one of us took a clearly serious attitude and did not start making jokes or giggling etc, taking tones that were quite heavily stilted and insisting on formalities. I use to take an attitude of saying things like "Today, we must do this and tomorrow, we must do that!" and "This can be done only in here and that can be done only in there!" and if anybody defied these so-called standards of mine, I got really freaked out and tearful and adamantly perceived that I had reached the end of the line. Do you know: I have not thought so much about it until this exchange between us. It is interesting what new alerts can enable me to remember sometimes. Personally, I believe in formal diagnoses through formal psychiatric assessments, rather than self-diagnoses. It may be a good idea for you to tell your or your daughter's GP that you, as just 'her parents' and nobody else, would like her to be referred for a formal assessment and, potentially, a formal diagnosis. Since you are her parents and she is 13, thus having more growing up to come, you obviously hold the freedom of placing certain decisions entirely in your hands. You could always tell your daughter very kindly that you would like to sit down and talk to her for a while and thus take an opportunity to pass her a full and firm reassurance that you will do everything you can to ensure that the health professionals concerned will take a nice, soft and gentle attitude towards her and that her true needs and emotions will be taken into account. You see, it was a clinical psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me with AS at the age of seven. I remember my appointments with him and those with his colleague always went really well and did not cause me distress or timidity. I am sure there will be a solution of some kind to the problems you have encountered from trying to reason with your daughter over meeting health professionals. Whatever happens, or whenever so, I just want you to remember that you have always got me there for you, keeping an insistently benevolent eye on you. From my experiences with my own family, I can fully understand just what kinds and degrees of support you truly need in addressing the highly complex and unfamiliar needs of your daughter. You are more than welcome to contact me (by private message, if you prefer it) whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever kind(s) of language you happen to feel comfortable with. Kind regards, Gareth.
  9. Newbie

    Hello Bodhi (or whatever you prefer) It's so nice to hear from you on here You've shared some interesting stories about your 12 year old son and I thank you for sharing these. I'm now 29 plus and was formally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome by a clinical psychiatrist, at the age of 7. My personal and social development has been a very long and painful process and I anticipate this continuing for many more years to come. I'm now in my final yards of a "Foundation Degree (FdA) in Travel and Tourism Management" and I can hardly tell you just how much of a struggle this course has truly been for me. It has long been with only hindsight that I have managed to work things out in life itself. Still, I may have a very high mountain to climb, but I'm now confident that I'm on the right track for reaching the very top of it It's now a matter of being wary and vigilant of potential hazards that can easily materialise into actual hazards. I understand that there are many hidden traps between my current spot and the very top of this very high mountain, so not only do I have to watch and tread exceptionally carefully, I have to have my wits about me at all times! There could, indeed, be any moment when I'm most suddenly forced to run for my life! From my personal experience, it may be of some help to your 12 year old Aspie son if you were to request a meeting with the headteacher of his school and say that you would like a full and firm reassurance that your son will not have to live in fear of any personal exploitation or attack within the school premises. Such a meeting may be a good opportunity for you to clearly advise the headteacher (and anybody else present) of your son's excessive fears of approaching the school in the morning, as part of his special needs (apologies if I've missed the point). It may be possible for the school to get one of the staff members to look out for him on the playground, so they will be there to avert any inappropriate or unacceptable behaviour towards him. When I was a child, I use to have a passion for writing invented stories. If your son holds any interest in this, perhaps he could write some stories about his imaginary school days, how he would like things to be at school and then share them with the school staff team. In that case, the headteacher might say: "Okay, I'll see what I can do." Or if you consider the issue critical, you could even write to your MP. That sure would test the conscience of such a senior community representative. You are more than welcome to make contact with me (by private message if you prefer it) whenever it may suit you. You can use whatever kind of language you feel comfortable with and I won't be offended, I promise. Kind regards, Gareth.
  10. Hello from Oxfordshire, new here

    Hello Dr. G-nome! Your topic is very interesting Personally, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7 by a clinical psychiatrist and am now 29. First of all, do you think you could tell me what "OH", "DS" and "DD" stand for? I was just interested. Just to let you know, they do not allow the submission of surnames on this forum, so you will need to miss them out. To be honest, my life is far from simple nowadays. I often struggle to get to the bottom of mysteries I can feel in my heart and on my conscience, but can hardly work out. I usually only work them out with hindsight, with lots of nasty smog surrounding me during the actual process. In addition, I am struggling to get onto the employment ladder at the moment and still have some unfinished business on a foundation degree course on which I have also been struggling over the past two years. The support I received for my special needs at school was only minimal AS was almost unheard of when I was originally diagnosed and a thorough analysis and assessment found that the best school available for me at the time was a boarding school that was purpose-run primarily for emotionally-disturbed children and youths. The support available for Aspies at that school was very limited and I was basically growing up with the wrong people in the wrong environments. The key advantage of that school was that there were qualified speech and language therapists you simply could not then expect to find in mainstream schools. Even so, this meant that my special needs were only partially addressed in all the 7½ long years I was consistently there. Unsurprisingly, I have since developed depression, which became severe, lessened and soared again Despite the extraordinary academic progress I have managed to make since leaving school at 16, I am often inclined to remind myself that there is no room for complacency and that I still have a long way to go before I can reach my prime lifetime achievement. In addition, I am still living at home with my parents with no clear prospects of flying the nest at last. Nevertheless, I certainly do believe that these potential hard-won achievements are possible over the long term. What I am implying is that I can never leave them to chance or take them for granted, come what may. This is why I often strive on my personal and social development (and sometimes go to excessive lengths in doing so). It would be really nice to hear from you some time. You can send me a private message, if you prefer it, and use whatever language you feel comfortable with. Kind regards, Gareth.
  11. sorry haven't been on here for bit ,while!

    No need to apologise, smileyK. Nice to hear from you, at all I can fully understand how stressful things may have been for you lately. I'm now approaching the end of the 2-year programme of my Foundation Degree (FdA) in Travel & Tourism Management. Even now, I still can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and the work load often plays havoc with my social life. There's a programme I'm undergoing with a local service of mine called 'Autism Success Formula', which has already proved successful for quite a lot of people, considering it's a relatively new scheme. The man who runs the scheme is a former headteacher of autistic children. My mum has known him for years - she met him through her own career as a headteacher. You can reach the organisation at "www.autismsuccessformula.co.uk" and they might know of a similar scheme in your home community that could be of help to your career. After all, you sound as though you are doing very well with your career development, you should be very proud of yourself and I'm very proud of you. Your forthcoming holiday in sunny Turkey will be a good opportunity for you to relax, refresh and recharge your batteries for your future I hope you and your family enjoy yourselves there. Don't forget: whatever happens, you've always got me here for you, and you can contact me about whatever you like whenever you like with a private message. All the best, Gareth
  12. Hello nelladonna (or whichever you prefer)! It's so nice to hear from you on here. I'm 29 and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. This may sound like a nice and early diagnosis that enabled early intervention, but the massive problem for me and my family was that the condition was almost unheard of at the time. Throughout my school years, the support I received for my special needs was only minimal, so I'm no stranger to what your daughter's been through. I used to think that because of the way my special needs were often so disgracefully exploited at school, I faced a hefty life sentence. Nevertheless, I'm now managing to gradually brighten my days over time and gradually emerge (with some zigzagging and twirling) onto the right track. I therefore have high hopes for your daughter and her future. I adamantly believe that she has better opportunities for personal and social development than I had as a child and youth. If you consider the issue critical, it may be a good idea to write to your MP. This may be a good first step onto a campaign to get your views heard. You can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like and use whatever language you feel comfortable with. Kind Regards Gareth.
  13. Hello back again!!

    There's something you might be interested in that's based in Ipswich, Suffolk. This is called "Autism Success Formula" and can be found at: http://www.autismsuccessformula.co.uk I've begun to participate in this and it really does look promising from here. Anyway, you can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like. Kind Regards Gareth.
  14. Hello

    Hello Bianca I thank you for your new topic! It's so nice to hear from you You share a very interesting story. I've just turned 29 and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. My personal and social development so far has been a very long and painful process! Even today, I often feel that no matter how much information I share with other people, they only ever partially understand my true needs and emotions and so only partially manage to address them correctly. I simply can't tell you just how devastating and heartbreaking this truly is for me! I can therefore understand just how difficult things truly are for your son and just how vulnerable this can truly make him feel. What I would like to reassure you is that you and your family have nothing to be ashamed of amongst yourselves. It is more than likely that other people, including school teachers, are failing to address the true needs of your son, having not done what they should have done. It may be a good idea for you to complain about this to your local authorities if you consider such personal efforts of others unsatisfactory. You could even write to your MP if you consider the issue critical. Whatever happens, I sincerely hope your son never suffers the same misfortunes I have done. I'm sure beyond all reasonable doubt that your son has better opportunities for specialist personal and social development than I had as a child and youth. I'm sure you and the rest of your family have ever so much to offer your son You sound like a very caring and responsible person and I'm very proud of you. You can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like. It would be so nice to hear from you again. You can send me a private message if you like. Best wishes, Gareth.
  15. I don't feel very popular @tm :'( What should I do?

    1. Merry

      Merry

      Not popular with Who? Don't be glum, chum! Maybe wanna write about it in a thread? We could talk more that way....and opens it up for others to help you... :)

    2. GRP1919

      GRP1919

      Whenever I feel that I've found the right people to make friends with, it turns out in the end that they want nothing to do with me whatsoever :'-( I'm only trying to be careful with my choice of friends and taking my time and effort to find the right people. I simply can't tell you just how devastated and heartbroken this has truly left me :'-(

  16. Newbe

    Hello Jules! I thank you kindly for posting your topic. I'm approaching 29 and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. I'm very sorry to hear about the problems you're currently facing. First of all, I'd like to reassure you that you certainly are NOT an irresponsible or useless mother. 10 to 1 your son's behavioural patterns are perfectly natural. AS is a condition that basically means a completely different development of the mind. It's something one is born with and something they die with, regardless of nurture or human influence. It's highly unlikely to be down to your parenting or how your son's been brought up. The natural causes of AS may never be detected or identified, but you've very little (if anything) on your part to be ashamed of. In fact, from the information you've shared with us, I'm very proud of you. I thought you might like to know that I met a single mother of a boy on the mild end of the autistic spectrum last weekend. Apparently, his dad couldn't go through with his upbring, because of the challenges he saw from the boy's autism, and so moved over to America to start a new life. The boy and his mum were both very interesting people and they seemed happy with their lives and mother-and-son relationship, nonetheless. I do believe that your son has better opportunities for personal and social development than I had as a child and youth. One idea of mine is that you could produce a story about your son based on your years of experience with him, with positive and justified conclusions, and share it with his school. They'll then be more likely to go further for him. In addition, you could write to your local education authority (LEA), advising them of the issues you've raised in your topic, and I'm sure they'll be interested and start making allowances in such accordance. You could even write to your MP if you consider the issue critical. My AS was very difficult for my parents and older sister to come to terms with. I used to make life in my household very tumultuous. The tragedy for us was (and possibly still is) that AS was almost unheard of when I was first diagnosed. We had to make difficult choices for my education and personal/social development and faced numerous distressing issues we never anticipated. My personal and social development has been a very long and painful process! Even today, I still have a lot to overcome, which will require a series of further difficult choices. I shall keep trying to move forward nonetheless, in which case I'm far more likely to get somewhere and make fundamental progress. It's because of these difficult and unfortunate experiences that I can fully understand where you're coming from. I shall keep my fingers crossed that you manage to seek quality attention and support for you and your son's current problems. You can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like. Best wishes, Gareth.
  17. Daughter newly diagnosed aged 17. What next?

    One of my views on your daughter's needs is that the more caring and understanding people there are by her side and within easy reach of her, the more likely she is to proceed with genuine confidence and so reach a fundamental achievement. Personally, I simply have very little room on my conscience to leave her to fend for herself or risk her being disgracefully exploited by others, like I have been and, in a sense, still am up to half the time. Kind Regards Gareth. RSVP.
  18. I'm new here and need friends.

    Hi Nimz! It's so nice to have you on here I know you might consider me too old to be friends with you, but I'm approaching 29 and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. I fully understand what you mean by finding it really hard making friends and often being inclined to just stay in. I know what it's like to grow up as an Aspie and just how vulnerable this can truly make you feel. You can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like. It would be nice to hear from you Kind Regards Gareth.
  19. Daughter newly diagnosed aged 17. What next?

    Hello Catwoman! You share a very interesting story. I'm approaching 29 years old and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. Like your daughter, I have an older sibling - a sister 2½ years my senior and she's my lovely desirable sweet little angel I'm sure your daughter's older brother means no less to her I can fully understand where your daughter is coming from. I know what it's like to grow up as an Aspie and just how vulnerable this can truly make her feel. I've had my special needs disgracefully exploited far too often I've now endured enough sadism from people in general to last me a lifetime I can't count the number of people I've met in my time who I now wish I'd never heard of. Even today, there are very few people who make me feel more comfortable and less vulnerable I am yet to emerge from chronic depression Developing into what I am today has been a very long and painful process! As far as I'm concerned, I've still got a very high mountain to climb! I do have high hopes for your daughter, nonetheless. I'm sure beyond all reasonable doubt that she has better opportunities for personal development than I had as a youth. I believe I can help prevent her from going through the same thing I've been through (on the negative side) and so further enable her to prosper in her chosen field. One of the last things in my books is for your daughter to inadvertently walk or fall into the same traps I did. You can contact me about whatever you like, whenever you like. Kind Regards Gareth P.S. You say you're a "trained early years teacher", so I thought you might like to know that my mum's a retired primary school head teacher. She did sometimes teach in the nursery of her last school. The children were so lucky to have had her appointed as their head teacher She is my world
  20. new here

    Hello Bill! It's nice to have you on this forum. I am approaching 29 years old and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7. The tragedy for me at the time was that the condition was almost unheard of and people understood very, very, very little (if anything) about my true needs. Developing into what I am today has been a very long and painful process! My depression, from which I am yet to emerge, began to bite when I was about 16 and has caused me mass devastation to overcome. I know what it's like to grow up as an Aspie, what with being one myself, and just how vulnerable this can truly make you feel. I therefore believe I can help prevent you going through the same thing I have been through (on the negative side) and so further enable you to prosper in your chosen field in the future. I am sure beyond all reasonable doubt that you have better opportunities for personal and social development than I had as a youth. One of the last things in my books is for you to inadvertently walk or fall into the same trap I did. You can tell me whatever you like whenever you like. Kind Regards Gareth Parkin.
  21. My doubtful life story

    My name is Gareth, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7, am approaching 29 years old and live in Suffolk with my dearly beloved parents. I have a lovely desirable sister 2½ years my senior. I am struggling to make friends, thus sometimes feeling fragile. I do not have a girlfriend – I often struggle massively to find the right one. Personally, I do not really like Facebook or rival networks. I currently lack employment history and often ponder what to do about it. I am doing a “Foundation Degree (FdA) in Travel and Tourism Management”. I enrolled in September 2011 and have struggled on the course since. I think the problem with a place on such a course is that it does not guarantee one any capital at all. Fortunately, the college has a very thoughtful amenity for autistic students – The Rugroom – which means a lot to me. Some Rugroom staff members are exceptionally kind and pleasant, and many of its students are very interesting. I have a long-term passion for travelling and touring. My favourite part of the UK is the counties of Hampshire and Dorset. My favourite overseas country is definitely France. There are many other places I like to visit, such as the rural stretches of Essex; Northumberland National Park; the great lakes of Sweden; Atlanta, Georgia, USA; and Chicago, Illinois, USA. I am waiting to make my debut in places like Denmark; Italy; South Africa; and China. I very frequently follow current affairs, insistently with the quality broadsheets, such as The Times, The Daily Telegraph and The Guardian. I am heavily obsessed with politics and economics. I love my fiction and creative arts, such as The Forsyte Saga (John Galsworthy) and The Stranger’s Child (Alan Hollinghurst). I love pets – I tend to relate very well to dogs and cats. I like horses, but they seldom have time for affection. I currently have two brown and white mice named Silky and Acorn, of which I think the world! Their ‘dear little fur coats’ are just so uplifting! Even after all these years of personal and social development, after my deep, dark, isolated, stormy and turbulent past, I am still convinced I have a very high mountain to climb! I usually find it impossible to literally see a light at the end of the tunnel. It could be so many years yet before I finally get the hang of life itself. Issues of life in general well and truly are causing me misery and distress nowadays. I often feel I have no true prospect or purpose and so a very limited life to get on with. I would be delighted to hear anything from anybody. You can use whatever language you feel comfortable with. Kind Regards Gareth.
  22. My doubtful life story

    Hi Mooni This is very welcoming So whereabouts in Suffolk do you live? I live in Stowmarket (between Ipswich and Bury St Edmunds). Are there any particular tourist destinations you favour? Yes, despite my current problems on my course, I have no intention whatsoever of abandoning my studies. I can adequately handle my radical challenge. Hope to hear from you soon
  23. My doubtful life story

    I thank you very much for your kind response, Heather. I appreciate your confidence in me, which does bring some true meaning to my life Kids like those in your life constantly remain deep inside my heart. I simply have not enough room on my conscience to leave them to sink deep like I sadly did, as a result of minimal support for my special needs. Like I said, I am always there for you and the kids in your life whenever you need anything like moral support. Hope to hear from you soon Gareth.
  24. Hello! New to this forum,

    Hello Heather! I thank you for your new topic and cordially welcome you to this forum. You share a very interesting story about your 11-year-old son and, as a matter of fact, it does sound quite familiar to me. I have Asperger's Syndrome (AS), am now approaching 29 (b. 1984) and my parents first suspected that there was something different about my mind when I was 4 at the most. When I was 6, a psychologist suspected I had AS, but never told anybody until it was a bit late. I was diagnosed at about 7½ after a formal assessment by a clinical psychiatrist. My parents then informed the same psychologist of my official diagnosis and it was only then when she revealed what she did suspect when she last assessed me. This did cause my parents some annoyance at first. When I was about 9, I was transferred to a boarding school that was mainly for emotionally-disturbed children and youths. We just thought from the other information we obtained that it was a good opportunity for additional support for me, which was then too difficult in a mainstream school. The boarding school had qualified speech and language therapists you could never have then expected in a mainstream school. It is only with hindsight that we know that my 7½ years at that school created more problems than it solved. Generally speaking, I was growing up with the wrong people in the wrong environments. It is just most unfortunate that when I was transferred to this school, we had very little (if any) choice and did not anticipate the heart-breaking impact it had on me over the long term. In hindsight, I just misjudged that school very badly. This was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. Nevertheless, I hope your son and his autistic fellows never go through what I have been through (on the negative side). I just hope for everybody's sake that, over the long term, they each live a truly enjoyable and desirable life. I am sure beyond all reasonable doubt that they have better opportunities for personal and social development than I will have had as a child and youth. I have high hopes for them and everybody else concerned and am determined to back you all every single step of the way. Whenever you need anything like moral support, you know where to contact me. Kind Regards Gareth
  25. Hi. Advice needed.

    Hi Nicolax! I thank you very much for your post and cordially welcome you to the forum. This is a very interesting story you have shared about your daughter. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at 7 years old by a clinical psychiatrist. What inspired my parents to have me formally assessed by him at the time was that I was very frequently displaying patterns of behaviour that were extraordinary to them, my teachers and my peers etc. For example, I was so blatantly obsessed with TV programmes like Neighbours, Home and Away and Fireman Sam, as well as storybooks like The Tiger Who Came To Tea (often calling out "tiger tea" when my parents offered to read me a story). I also had this thing about TV programme credits and was determined to tell my parents that [A programme] was produced by [A name], directed by [A name] and written by [A name]. I often used to communicate with my school peers and perform on the school playground in such accordance. In retrospect, what I understand by this is that I had a great deal of difficulty in understanding the true needs and feelings of others (and the importance and complexities of these). My perception now, therefore, is that I always used to make others around me suffer and make life more difficult for them. On myriad occasions, I was nervous when it came to making my way to school and timid in the classroom, on the playground and the assembly hall. Unfortunately, others saw this as a tempting opportunity for teasing me, which I was inclined to overlook and consider as sadism. I can understand where you and your family are coming from, having grown up in various environments that caused me doubts and even severe distress on some occasions. I have gradually managed to overcome the radical challenges I have faced, having received only minimal support for my special needs at school. I therefore conclude that you and your family will succeed over the long term. In addition, I am sure beyond all reasonable doubt that your daughter has better opportunities for personal and social development than I had as a youth. I just want you and your family to know that, whatever happens, you have all got one more person (me) who is always there for you and genuinely believes in you. I am determined to back you every single step of the way. Whenever you need anything like moral support, you know where I am. Kind Regards Gareth.
×