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windylou

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Everything posted by windylou

  1. Why? oh why is my last post so tiny???? Sorry you may all need to use your magnifying glasses for that one!
  2. Hi, we have the same with our son he is 8 (AS). In year 1 it was all about his behaviour (so no written work done), In yr 2 it was all about the SATS he was point blank refusing to write in all subjects, and now in year 3 he has improved in his maths and reading but up and down with his written work. From what we have noted (while doing his homework) is that he will do sentences , but will let you know he isn't happy about it! eg having to read a text and then answering questions from the text, he will copy the answer word for word from the text not writing anything more than he has too. But if he is asked to write something from his imagination eg a story. That's when the explosions start, he can't do it it's too much/too hard/hurts his hand. When he went to see a paediatrician we mentioned that his written work was up and down, and the first thing she did was to ask my son if when he has to write a story does he have lots of ideas floating around his head but he isn't sure which one to pick to write down? and that this was probably a factor, she also said that she could tell he had lots of very good ideas by the things he was saying during the meeting (he was very chatty!) . She has also referred him to an occupational therapist to rule out fine motor difficulties and mentioned that studies have suggested that there is an over lap of the symptoms of Asperger's and dyspraxia.
  3. Hello again, we went for a meeting at the school and expressed our concerns. As expected we were told that they can't control what happens outside of school and also that they found it very strange because these are the children our son chooses to play with?? so we asked that they be extra vigilant with any incidents involving 'named' pupils. We have actively kept him away from the children outside of school which is proving difficult as they seem to seek him out, although he has recently befriended a lovely boy and now tends to go to his house or he comes to ours which is fantastic. Earlier I received a phone call from his teacher about his glasses being broken, in a nut shell my son said that they were pulled from his face by another boy......the other boy said he bent down and the glasses fell off (highly unlikely he only had these a few weeks ago)......and apparently there was another boy who backed up the second boys story. I got the impression that my sons teacher thought my son was lying. When he came home he wasn't feeling well so when we had a quiet moment I asked him what had happened, low and behold he mentioned the young boy from opening post had ripped his glasses off and they had fallen to pieces he has scratches on his nose which to be consistent with what he is saying/demonstrating. What on earth do I do? demand they keep him away from these children?, I have sat down and discussed with him what friend do or don't do, told him to walk away if they come near but he said they follow him. Write a polite letter to the teacher with what had happened?. The thought that he is being bullied at school and he is not being listened to is really upsetting.
  4. Hi, I don't really have any advice to be truthful. We have the same with our son, the meltdown about little things that have happened at school. We recently had a meeting in school were (for the 100th time) I tried to point out that when he is sitting 'daydreaming' or 'fiddling' with his pencil doing no work he is thinking...something is on his mind and most probably be causing him anxiety. Do they listen? no he just doesn't want to do whats in front of him. Take for instance the teacher who he trusts telling him he doesn't complete his work because he is lazy, this would of been water off a ducks back to most but to my son lazy means - useless, worthless, therefore the teacher does not like him! but she doesn't see the fact that his work/behavior has improved slightly since this day because he is trying to make her like him again, she thinks it is because she has 'threatened' him with speaking to me????. This was supposedly one of the best strategies they had to get him to complete more work but because I wanted my son to approach me and tell me if he hadn't completed his work (I do not want my son to spend his time worrying if I will be cross about his work when I don't even know) so that I can find out why and work with him. He has struggled with his written work for well over 2 years now and because of this they think it is my fault so they have told me to make suggestions as to how to get him to complete his work. This school year started off well, his new teacher seemed far more relaxed in terms of mistakes and general tidiness of written work, slowly building up his self esteem. During his first parents evening (2 months in) the teacher very sternly told me that my son was now doing his work more neatly and better presented (lets face it that was probably my fault too).......my heart sank because I knew that it would take him considerably longer to complete the work if he had been instructed to do it neatly and I waited for that chat about him not completing his work again, low and behold 2 weeks later there it was and he has spiraled ever since. He is now working through the lessons he enjoys to complete his written work so again is starting to lose interest, at the end of the day in his mind 'what's the point?' and I would be thinking exactly the same. He is doing what has been asked of him, he is doing his work neatly and still getting punished. Will the teacher actually decide to take on board that I have never known my son to go without something he enjoys for the sake of something he doesn't (which we have used for 8 years!). That if he was just being lazy, defiant, not wanting to do something he would do nothing at all, there would be no maybe I will today...maybe I won't. Will she of had a light bulb moment when I mentioned the neater he writes the longer he will take and go back through his school book and see when/why he actually started to spiral? I'm not going to hold my breath. By the way this teacher has very recently informed me she has worked in a special school and has experience of working with children with Aspergers, I am slightly skeptical about that........Telling a child with As that he/she is lazy, and they are the worst child they have had to teach, would be the last thing an experienced teacher would do, nor would they use emotional blackmail.
  5. Thank you for your replies. We aren't going to let our son out with these children since the last incident. I really don't think the parents would care to be truthful. My son is off school now for the holidays but my husband is going to arrange an appointment with the headteacher and class teacher when he goes back. I have always been a little wary about letting my son go out as I have witnessed many many things which have made me doubt my sons ability to look after himself and especially after the incident mentioned with the 7 children and the 'play fight' I just stopped suggesting that he went out and took his lead, but then I also felt like I was 'holding him back' if that makes any sense. We live in an area where some children (with some exceptions) can be quite rough but I wouldn't say they are any rougher than when I was younger so would say the majority of what I have seen is typical children's behaviour. He does go to beavers once a week and has also been on sleepovers with them several times. Gymnastics is something we have looked into but our funds are limited at the moment, I have also looked at some of our local Asperger's support groups and one of them run a get together once a month so we will take him along to the next one. He hadn't been out for weeks because he never asked so when he did it was nice to hear him mention his friends (but in all honesty if someone was to smile at him in his mind they would be his friends e.g the boy at the til when we went shopping 3 months ago who smiled is still his friend and he will sometimes wonder out loud if he will see his friend again). There have been so many times that I have been called in to school because he has done something to another child but it just doesn't ring true. He isn't a violent child (and I'm not being biased he really isn't) I can't help but think that he is being targeted because every time it has happened the adults at the time never witness it but at the same time I haven't witnessed it so what can I do?. We were on tender hooks when he first started beavers because we didn't know what to expect (due to what was happening at school) and were so relieved when the leader commented on how pleasant and helpful he was, she had actually seen the little boy that we see.
  6. Hello my son (8 Asperger's) is currently in mainstream school, in a special needs class. Outside of school myself and my husband have both witnessed him being bullied both emotionally and physically. I have witnessed members of his school (varying ages) gang up on him while having a 'play fight', to him they were playing, from where I was stood 6 other children were egging another child on to hit him. Luckily I turned up at the right time. Just over 2 weeks ago he asked if he could go out and play with 3 members of his class (1 boy, 2 girls) who were 'nice' and were his ?friends. I was a little wary as I know that one of the girls were involved in the first incident. But he went out all the same. When he was having a bath later that evening I noticed a cut on the bridge of his nose where his glasses lie. He said that an older boy had nudged him in his face but couldn't tell us who, we asked him to point this boy out the next time he sees him and to walk away if he comes near him again. The next day he went to play with the same 3 children and when my husband went to shout our son for his tea he was told by all 3 that our son had jumped onto one of the boys chest and stopped him from breathing. We dealt with this accordingly but later found out that, from what jumbled up info we had from our son, everyone had been playing and all lay on top of the boy but he got really angry with just my son and started hitting him. So we spoke to our son about this. On the third day he went out to play with these children my husband, again went to collect him, and witnessed the boy take a toy off my son and throw it into a pond as my son turned to retrieve the toy the boy then proceeded to jump on his back repeatedly punch him while the girls cheered him on. My husband said he was shouting but was not heard. He then witnessed our son trying to run away and the 2 girls trying to push him into thorn bushes. Now fast forward to the last day of term, I was approached by my sons teacher because he had hit another child in the face with a book which several other children had witnessed (but not by the teacher), therefore he had lost his end of term treat, and had spent the remainder of the afternoon making 'a lot of noise'. After managing to calm my son down and listening to him repeatedly tell me he hadn't done it I finally learned that it was one of the girls from the week before, he hadn't hit her in the face, the teacher wouldn't listen and he was crying while other children laughed at him and called him a baby. When I asked what his teacher had said to the other children he said nothing was said and it made him feel really cross and very sad. What do I do? I believe that my son is being bullied in school (he also came home with his glasses bent out of shape 2 days prior to this but couldn't tell us what had happened) but I can not get enough information from my son as proof only what I have seen outside of school. I am worried sick that a lot more may be happening that nobody is seeing. Do i send a letter about the previous incidents outside of school? I have already been in before but I was basically treated like an overprotective mother.
  7. Hello, I am just in the process of writing the letter to apply for a statement for my 8 yr old son (aspergers). What information should I send with it, if any? Any previous reports (done in school) pin pointing his difficulties within the school enviroment? his diagnosis report? or should I make a note of what difficulties he has at home and then state how these would affect him at school? I have quite a bit of information already supplied by the school for the assessment before my son was diagnosed. Also, is it possible that a school could apply for a statement without my knowledge?
  8. Hello, I agree with others. Speak with the school then your GP about a referral, if it is you were on the ball and early intervention is key, if its nothing at least you investigated and know. I am going through the same at the moment with my daughter and after posting a question on here I have decided to go and see my GP. Write down all of your concerns for the doctor (and anything the school may say) Ideally do a diary for a week or so and take that in, I had moments in my sons younger years which jumped out at me but I always thought thats my boy! (he was my first child..I didn't know what to expect really). Back then I had 'heard' of autism but didn't 'know' about autism. It wasn't until he was almost 7 and I had watched him completely change at home that I went to the GP, my main concerns were with his anxiety levels before and after school he became very clingy wouldn't let me leave him at all, nightmares and sleep disruption amongst other things. He was recently diagnosed with Aspergers but with hindsight all the red flags were there. Very similar to what you have wrote.His anxiety levels were due to lack of support at school and he was being bullied but the school didn't listen to what bit of information I could get from him and just saw him as naughty/immature even though they had mentioned autistic tendencies long before. Shortly after I sent a letter in to school and had him refered to CAMHS thats when he told me that he didn't want to kill himself anymore....thats what made me wish I had said something sooner, when he was much smaller.
  9. Hi Willow, thank you. My daughter does similar with jigsaw pieces, she will also empty my entire cupboard of any jugs, plastic cups, dishes and put random items into them...then just leave them on her table infact I am quite sure she is just copying what the speech and language therapist did with her, and that is why it came naturally when the paediatrician did the same. She will fill her pram with dolls/other toys/cushions and just push it around but never seems to be playing. When she does appear to be playing she will put her dolls together and she is only ever her teacher (Its as though she turns into her teacher..tone of voice, posture etc) I went for a parents evening recently and there were notes about her development and something that stood out was that she avoids playing with other children, this is something the school are working on but she just loses interest and goes off to do her own thing again. She has mentioned that she doesn't like her friends but won't talk about it, and she has on occassions been very upset if she believes that she made her teachers cross. Even goes as far as to write (she is just starting out with the alphabet/letter formation) a sorry letter and if they do not acknowledge it ASAP she is distraught.
  10. Hello, You may of seen (or not) on another post that I have an 8 year old son who was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. I have now realized that I do not know what would be classed as typical development for a child??. I have a daughter who is 4 and I don't actually know what this would be, at the moment I am having the same...that's different...moments that I had with my son before Aspergers was mentioned but for different reasons I don't know if the 'that's different' moments would actually be typical behaviour?. She was referred to a paediatrian when she was 3 by her speech and language therapist after she learned that my son was involved with CAMHS just as a precaution. The paediatrician saw no problems, but I think that would be due to the fact that at the time I had no concerns other than her delayed speech. Now I'm not so sure. I understand that all children are different but can anybody please tell me of their experiences with their daughters who are on the spectrum when they were at this age?
  11. Thank you Trekster, I believe he struggled so much in school before, and that is why he completely shut off, and didn't produce anything at all. I have a feeling that all of his difficulties haven't been picked up yet but he is due to see a peadiatrician soon (yes I think I did everything backwards!, I have read that children are usually seen by other proffessionals before seeking a diagnosis of aspergers!) so hopefully he will be able to pick up on these. Sally, I really wished that I had come on here many years ago. But everything was such as shock, the initial has he? hasn't he? I was just in limbo and didn't know where to turn. A select member of staff always seems to want to keep me in the dark (HT), why? I have no idea surely to keep me informed and included would be beneficial for all involved, even more so my son. It would also explain why the class teacher has, from the word go, repeadedly told me that my son will not be treated any different than anyone else in the class (in hindsight I think she was trying to tell me but was being held back by someone...two guesses who that could be!) Do you think it is some way of making things simplier when applying for a statement?. To show that my son isn't making adequate progress with his current intervention?. We have just received a copy of the final report for my sons diagnosis (we had been told verbally and were awaiting this). I had been told that legally the school had to wait for this before they could act on what had been said . The IEP did include BESD so would of already been covering his difficulties the best they could anyway, but in a one size fits all way due to the fact he is in a special needs class, once they recieve the report his IEP will become more tailor-made to the additional needs outlined within it. The clinical psycologist who was part of the team assessing him has pointed out the difficulties he will have with regards to his peer interactions and made suggestions as to why my sons attainment does not match his cognitive profile, following a school observation the team member noted simple strategies which were put in place a long time ago were still not being used. Even though some staff members (not his class teacher) have recently been making a very OTT point of suggesting to me that they are.This would explain why he isn't producing work consistantly (thinking logically ) ...if the strategies are not always being used. Luckily someone with more knowledge than me has been in and knows they are not. So I am guessing now the Educational Psychologist will be approached again (after being given a copy of the diagnosis report) and hopefully my son will make some progress. I have been advised to see my sons behaviour outside of school, as an indicator as to whether the strategies used within the class are working for him, and in all honesty he is a lot more relaxed than last year although is more emotional and clingier than usual on select days. I'm going to make a note of this and see if there is a specific pattern, then approach the SENCO if I believe it is something within school. I spent too much time looking at home last year when in reality nothing had changed. As for his written work I have been given some resources to try at home with him (not typically taught in school) which will assist him at school, especially when he reaches high school and has the essays etc to contend with. So I am going to gradually introduce these to him over the coming weeks. I have kept all correspondance with the school in writing because I have seen information fabricated regarding his support in the past.
  12. Hi, sorry bed32 I have only just noticed your post I do apologize I wasn't ignoring, thank you. Sally44, I mentioned I emailed the SENCO about a meeting. It was intercepted by the headteacher asking that all conversations regarding my son are to be done in a meeting. His staff do not have time to read and reply to my emails??? and he pointed out that my son is in a class who all have special needs. I thought this was the case in all honesty (his new teacher seemed to spend our first meeting taking her cues from another teacher who was there, saying very little) and from what my son had been telling me. Even though I suspected should I of been told? would it make a difference to my sons support? are they pulling a swifty?
  13. Sally, Thank you. You have just given me the kick up the backside that I needed. I have spent far too much time wondering, not wanting to step on peoples toes. It has now become quite clear that my causing a fuss last year wasn't even enough to cause ripples in a puddle. I will sit down later and write a letter to the EP asking for all the info you have mentioned, I just thought because it was done for the school all information was keep for the schools information. Knowing more deatail about my sons strengths and weaknesses will help greatly. I will have a good look through the SEN code of practice and make notes. I have emailed the SENCO for a meeting asking for documented information to show my sons progress, just waiting for a reply. I find the IEP's a struggle to be honest, and have no idea where to start. There is one particular target which I can't help but find annoyed at which is; Short term target. To encourage xxxx to play with peers. Success criteria. Playing nicely with other children using a transition object. Strategies. xxxx is encouraged to bring in a toy from home as a transition object. He is prompted to play with other children with it on the play ground. Resources/support/frequencies. On going In my mind this would not be a good idea at all, my Ds gets worried/upset if he thinks someone damage his toys. But I don't particularly know what to put instead.
  14. No we didn't have a report from the EP, when I asked him if I would get a copy he said no, he does not tend to do this as it takes more time? From the info the EP gave me I think it was the WISC....I'm just realizing how useless I am! I just have notes in my sons reading diary from school saying that he had excellent recall when asked about his book, I returned his IEP review sheet unsigned as it just said that he had made progress on most of his targets but nothing to support this. In January 2012 I did some research and kicked up a fuss I was given a list of his curriculum levels. in the July 2011 previous to this he was within average range, but in the Sept following it he dropped to the P scales, then in May 2012 he was bang on average again. But it didn't make sense because he was producing next to no work therefore nothing to assess, unless he pulled it out of the bag for his SATS test????. I think the teachers idea of giving me proof is for me to go and look at his books but this doesn't really help me with levels if you see what I mean and I don't really know what to go in asking for.
  15. Hi Sally, He is on school action + and was given a full assessment by an EP (before dx) last year and he basically gave me an outline of his cognitive profile and emotional literacy, and in a nut shell told me he was more than capable but needed to be motivated because he didn't see the point??. Speech and language therapists have never been mentioned. Reading...my son won't happily pick up a book and read to himself at home, he prefers to be read too. He hit a phase at school when he refused to read with the TA (I truly believe this was due to a clash of personalities) so his reading books were never changed and at the age of 6 he was given a reading age of 4 yrs 7 months. Since resolving this issue he is changing his reading books every night and I am not seeing any problems but he told me the teacher was extending his reading stage because he read the stage too quickly? so could potentially have a much higher reading level now, this is something I am planning on finding out. He is waiting for an appointment with a Community Paediatrician due to possible epilepsy, would this be the best route to finding out about any other co-morbid conditions such as dyspraxia etc
  16. Hello all! I have recently joined this forum to see if anyone has any advice on how I can help my son 8 (AS) at school. It has been a real rollercoaster ride for him over the past few years and one of the difficulties seems to stem from his writing. He has gone through various stages with his writing from producing very little, to refusing to write anything, to producing very little again. The attitude from the school is that he can't be bothered but after sitting and observing my sons reactions to his homework I believe that he is really struggling getting the words from his brain to his paper. He is using other lessons ( which I believe he would do really well in, such as computers,art, design and technology) to complete his English work. He also ends up completing his English (or anything involving a lot of writing) during remove...which I should imagine has happened due to the writing anyway. Does anyone else have any experience of this and what helped? or what suggestions were made by the school? my sons SENCO is a class teacher and quite new to the job and I would very much like to help her to help my son.
  17. Hi girlracer, I'm new on here but Sally44 has pretty much given you all of the info you need. From experience with our own son it went; School action-if no progress School action plus-outside agencies become involved eg outreach team, educational psychologist to give advice. Then finally a statement (our son doesn't have one but I suspect this will be our next step). Unfortunately our sons difficulties started when he was 4, by the time he turned 5 I was collecting him (just like you) most weeks, Now I refuse and ask for a letter from the headmaster clearly stating the incident, who was involved, what happened before/during/after, unless I am told he is really poorly. The school were quick enough to highlight all of my sons difficulties, even told me he had Asperger's and suggested I take him to the doctors because he needed more help!, but did not follow the SEN guidelines until I educated myself and kicked up a fuss when he was 6 1/2 (it took this long because I was not even aware he was on the SEN register or school action +....they didn't seem to think that we as parents needed to know??) the reason given was 'lack of funds' this should not make a difference and this is not a concern for parents (let alone be pointed out to parents). I have now realized that my sons reactions at school were due to non existant support. He is slowly improving (but sadly he is 2 years behind and reaching nowhere near his potential) but he still isn't receiving all of the support he should, as mentioned on another post this is something we are working on.
  18. Hi whitestar, I'm also new here and my son has just received his asperger's Dx, so in a strange kind of way we are just starting to learn differently his mind works. He does not like school either...to him school and home are two different worlds which can cause some problems with homework. Seems like your son is working very hard to keep everything together at school. I presume he has an IEP? So what support is actually in place now? unfortunately my son is the opposite he is relaxed at home but struggles at school due to inadequate support (something which we are working on!).
  19. Hello Jazzy, While surfing the wonderful world wide web for strategies to help my son, I have seen this chat site mentioned many times http://www.wrongplanet.net/ it is for adults with Asperger's, it has live chat and also forums which your son could use. I know that this wouldn't help with helping him to leave the comfort of his room but maybe if he was to become a part of a community with similar difficulties, it may help to boost his self esteem and maybe open the door to other possibilties. What are your sons interests?
  20. Hello, Jazzy I am also new to this forum.,nd my 8 yr old son has just been diagnosed with Aspergers so I don't think I can be of help really due to the age difference. I just wanted to say hi. I don't know how to word this so please do not take offence at anything I may say. Was your sons diagnosis something that wasn't expected? eg was aspergers pointed out to you and everything went from there? or was it something that you have known all along and has taken sometime to get the diagnosis?
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