Hi all,
Im here as I am desperate for help. I have a 17yr old son. He has never been diagnosed for aspergers, but right now we are
at breaking point. I am a single mum, and he has recently dropped out of A levels. He is seeing the careers officer who is trying to get him
an apprenticeship but he keeps cancelling appointments. He spends ALL his time in his room on his computer. He has no friends, he never has been very social, and I didn't really see it as a problem as he must have gone out drinking and to parties all of about 4 times. That's it.
He says all he needs are his online buddies from around the world, who he speaks to on World of warcraft. This gaming is ALL he knows and all he is interested in. He is highly intelligent, although he was struggling with his alevels and he finally dropped out...I went to the school , begged them to help, NO ONE ever mentioned aspergers or anything...I feel let down by the school.
He says I don't know what Im talking about when I say to him he should maybe go out for air sometimes...as he is stuck in his room. He does not understand when I am upset about anything, it annoys him and he has no concept of how others feel it seems. I have been concerned for a while, but as I am a single mum, and I have struggled myself recently with low mood, there has been no way of getting any help.
My dad has tried everything...he turns up after work and my son is still not dressed, and when ask why, he continuously blames his sleep patterns....we have tried telling him that to sleep he must be physically active in the day, to go out, to stay up and then go to bed at normal time to regain it...he has literally stayed up all night a few times to do this. Recently though, he has missed appts, does nothing, other than on his computer, has no concept of why he should go into daylight or meet other people. , He says he is not depressed, and always puts things back on me, saying its me who has a problem and he is fine. I have literally tried all sorts of methods, none of which have any impact.
I don't know if he has traits, or if hes right, as he says I am the one who is making things up...please can someone help. WHere would I even go to get an assessment...ive asked if hed go he says he would, but that he doesn't think he has it.
I don't know what to list here in all...he has always been a bit 'eccentric' as I call it. He says things as it is..literally. This has got him in trouble countless times at school and he still does it now, to me. He lists all my faults, does this with no emotion, and then tells me not to worry as we all have faults! He is gradually getting more isolated, and mood is changing. he does get frustrated and irritated with me easily, if I try to tell him something, he does not have any empathy with me. Nor does he with anything I tell him, even something quite bad, if it is on the news, he justifies it..he justifies EVERYTHING. He is quite hard to understand. My dad says he just looks at him blankly and he is just 'not there'...
This is more than just adolescence stuff I know it. He did have a gf but they split about a year ago. He was distraught for about 3 days and did show emotion on and off, then nothing at all..he doesn't talk about it either and its so hard to get him to communicate about something other than what HE IS DOING on computer.
Background: His father is married and has two other children. He has seen him through his life regularly but has tended to control and bully, where as I have the more lenient approach I guess. My son moved out with no apparent reason for 8 months to go to his dads stepdads...during that time I hardly spoke or saw him as he didn't want to, although gave no reason other than he wanted a CHANGE. He came back after his dad and him argued and his dad hit him. So hes been with me ever since. Hes seen his dad once, and that was only brief. He says he doesn't want to see him or speak to him, which is his choice obviously, and I do agree his dad is a total ###### and no benefit to him. It is sad however, that this has happened.
Please help, I hope I have added the right things, please ask questions if don't understand,
very worried mum...x
