Oolong

I have Asperger's and recommend charity shops. I volunteer at Age UK one day a week for four hours on the till, and I love it. It took me a little time to become confident with dealing with members of the public and learning all the different procedures, but now I am a pro. I actually enjoy serving the public, it takes me out of myself, and the social interaction is formal and rule based, so manageable. It is a small shop, and the members of staff are friendly and put me at ease.

Are you seeing the Disability Employment Adviser?

Hi, this must be horrible for you. I am sure you are a very quiet neighbour, a bit like me. I am very quiet most of the time, and would never think of playing really loud music, and I always go to bed no later than 11 pm. It is a shame that some people are so noisy. I am very sensitive to noise, which is because I have AS, and have endured noisy neighbours before, but thankfully not to the extent that you describe. Once, a neighbour argued all night long with her boyfriend, it was f this and f that, and constant stompng above me - it was in a Housing Association flat. I could not sleep all night long. There is some noise that is to be expected, like ordinary household noise: footsteps, laughter, low level voices, creaking sounds, vacuum cleaner, perhaps a bit of low level TV noise. This noise bothers me a lot, and can make me feel stressed, but I know that it is really my issue because I am sensorily over-sensitive. I block it out with white noise or music if it becomes too much to bear. However, no-one should have to put up with loud music where you can actually hear the lyrics, as if it was coming from your own home - this noise is unnecessary, particularly if it occurs during the night. Have you tried ear-plugs?

I see the Asperger's as a clinical and disabling condition that is not synonymous with who I am as a person. Therefore; If a cure meant I would not be anxious all the time, I would accept If I could make meaningful relationships and friendships, and understand people's intentions, motivations, and feelings, I would accept If I could live independently without support, secure meaningful employment that matches my intellectual abilities, I would accept If I could be flexible, spontaneous, and do the things I want to do, without fear, I would accept If I could eradicate my sensory difficulties with regards to noise and motion, I would accept If I could regulate my emotions, I would accept But I would like to keep my curiosity, verbal intelligence, strength of character and conscientiousness. However, I believe these traits are not directly caused by my AS, but would exist anyway. For example, my Grandpa did not have AS, but was a top Professor in English. He was shy, introverted, and bookish, and some of those traits I share, but he could have normal relationships, could travel widely, and could live a full life. There is nothing about the AS itself that I am pleased about, because I see my positives as being a part of my personality, not a part of the AS.

I have AS, but am female, however I would love to meet someone as compassionate and understanding as you both appear to be. I can relate to what you describe because I have done similar things to your partners in the past, but it is not because I am cold or do not care. It is just that I am very emotionally egotistical, in the same way that a young child is egotistical. I would imagine that this is the case for most people with AS - despite intellectual intelligence, emotional intelligence can be very impoverished. I think you just need to be clear and calmly authoritative in your requests; it needs to be spelled out or the problematic behaviour won't be resolved. And you might need to explain things many times before it sinks in.

Hi, I am a 26 year old woman with Aspergers and OCD/chronic anxiety. I was diagnosed on the NHS when I was 21, after a long struggle. My problems were picked up by the school and my parents when I was a small child, but my mum was told to meet more parents to socialise me better, and to get Early Learning books to teach me basic numeracy and other skills. The school did very little to help, and I was only assessed when I was 10, by an Educational Psychologist and Occupational Therapist. The Occupational Therapist wrote that my eye contact was poor, and that I had some problems with motor skills. The Ed Psych, who assessed me after the initial report, wrote that my eye contact was quite good, and that although I could physically perform the motor tasks, I took a very long time to process instructions. She also wrote that I was physically and emotionally immature, and had only recently made a friend. My verbal IQ was 112, but my performance IQ was only 68. I had a reading age 0f 15, but a comprehension age of 9. The school were advised to get me statemented for SEN, but this did not happen. I then developed OCD and phobias. I also had an extreme interest in the actress Kate Winslet and child development, after Winslet had a child. I became more isolated. My parents suspected I had aspergers since my Dad, a teacher, first heard about it in 1998, but they were worried that a label would affect my future employment opportunities. I only got help from the CMHT when my OCD rendered me virtually housebound, but I had to fight for an Asperger assessment, once I knew that having Aspergers was likely. I now receive support from a local Autism charity, have a part time job, and can travel further distances. I still have OCD and anxiety, but I am more confident about overcoming my difficulties. My Aspergers is pretty high functioning, and I do not come across as obviously different. But I struggle with relationships, am quite solitary and self-absorbed. I am also very pedantic and obsessive!