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RedGobbo

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About RedGobbo

  • Rank
    Norfolk Broads
  • Birthday 11/18/1973

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Interests
    Computer Gaming, Badminton, Playing Guitar (really really badly)
  1. Oddly, I totally get what you're saying. But I guess on the flipside of that there's "look, there's that weirdo - what's wrong with him? Oh he has (condition). Really? What a weirdo". But hey, I'm not trying to convince you one way or the other, I can't even decide for myself. I mean I have some of the traits like I'm socially inept & have a "high appreciation for order" but while yes I am pretty literal, I can still "read between the lines". Everything's a bit of a struggle, as I said I'm having CBT for anxiety but even that's going well. I don't know? And lol, I can't see the badge idea taking off... unfortunately...
  2. Hi there, I haven't been diagnosed myself, I'm having CBT and they plan to refer me. Anyway I guess really the question is would you feel any differently if someone gave you a diagnosis one way or the other? It is after all someone else's opinion that they make after they've asked you a bunch of questions for 3 hours or so. Some people seem upset to not get diagnosed with AS. It's not like you even get a badge or anything Though I found CBT immensely useful.
  3. LOL - The classic male seeking a solution to a problem over a female looking for sympathy for it. Ok, I'm stereo-typing but yeah generally if I share a problem, it's because I want an answer - I don't want to hear "ooh yeah, that's quite a pickle, I feel for you" - that really doesn't help me. And yeah I find it amusing, men and women are different, and I don't just mean physically, I mean mentally they're different, men don't support each other, they, as you say "compete" with one another but we label it "banter" so that it's ok. Until very recently (actually only when I started my therapy), I never gave other people a second thought, I always assumed the rest of the planet was populated by self-assured confident individuals and I was the odd one out. My therapist is probably one of the most neurotic shy people I've ever met but she overcomes it to do her job, but she still feels it. Anyway I'm getting off-topic, yes you're right, I'm not looking for another girlfriend, I'm really not. Sure I'm lonely but I need to... I don't know - understand myself before I can explain myself to someone else". I suppose I'm looking for a friend, a close friend and yes that isn't that different from the relationship with a partner in that you risk having your emotions hurt. And I'm quite "defensive" as it is. And Scumble, I understand what you mean about women over men, they just seem "easier" somehow I don't know. I've lost more friends than I've made, somehow. It all started to go wrong for me when I left school. School was so easy, everyone was together all bound by the same "rules", I didn't have loads of friends back then, I rarely got invited to parties and that but I had "enough" friends, I had enough social interaction I suppose. Although even then I just felt like something was wrong, I didn't quite fit properly, like everyone was having a better time than me somehow. But when I left school, I got a job in a factory and I met some new people and I still felt out of place like they didn't really want me there. I then I got into drugs heavily, and while I was high, I thought I'd found where I was suppose to fit, I didn't of course, it was all an illusion and then for reasons I won't go into now, I quit all that. And broke off contact with everyone I'd met. I've met people since then, typically from work but I still always feel like I'm intruding, like I shouldn't be there. Anyway, I've babbled now, I don't know how much sense I'm making, I feel like I'm preaching from my soap box so I apologise for that, I'm not sleeping well. Sorry. I will say this though, absolutely you have something to offer. Obviously I don't know you well enough to say off-handedly what that is in any kind of useful detail but I'm sure you do. So look what's happened there, I've done the female thing - I've sympathised with your problem without providing any real tangible solution - now honestly, does that really help you? (ok, stop typing - go to sleep)
  4. OMG! I do the movie quote thing too and the voices!, kinda like Bumblebee in the Transformers film or the robotty thing in Flight of the Navigator. Generally I can keep it together but will often come out with favourite phrases to myself from time to time, they make me happy - I used to be able to quote entire films when I was younger but I haven't done that for a long time... I'm guessing that's a good thing really
  5. Hmm, I guess it all depends on your definition of the word friend or indeed what you think a friend should be. For me a friend is someone who you get in touch with at random times and do something together. I certainly have no-one like that. I guess I did when I had a girlfriend but that always ends because she doesn't get why I don't introduce her to my friends. But to answer your question, my interactions with these people are relatively "normal" I guess, and mostly I enjoy them sure. While I don't solely talk about work with my work friends that is the bulk of the conversation but I think that's pretty normal, it's the primary thing we have in common after all. Joining a badminton club was a bit of a master stroke for me, it gets me out of the house, I get some easy social interaction and by easy I mean, most of it is spent playing badminton, there's a bit of banter in between but nothing too tiring, if I go and sit by myself, no-one really takes much notice... I think... hey, who knows what people actually think of me?
  6. I can remember all the words to a film I haven't seen for years but if I've left my wallet somewhere other than the "designated wallet leaving place", I'll spend a good hour or more hunting for it. Losing things really stresses me out too and yeah, I forget people's names, people I work with almost every day! which is pretty embarrassing at times - maybe I only remember what really interests me?
  7. Hi Tanya Thanks for replying, sure, I'm hurting because the break up was still (fairly) recent but tbh, I don't know that I want someone special in my life again, I think I need to fix my social life first so I don't feel like "that weirdo with no friends" you know? I just don't know how to do that and the trouble is honestly, if I had a busy social life, I think I would find it exhausting! I think for now, I'll stick around on here and see what shakes loose Hi Scumble I gotta say I find it odd for someone to look up to my social life! - I've been on holiday from work this week and have left the house a total of twice! - Once to go to Tesco's and once to have lunch with some work friends, which I guess is the "good social" bit. Thing is it's back to the box thing - work friends, we go out to lunch once a week which is "within the parameters" of that specific relationship, it's a weekly thing, but I'd never dream of phoning them outside of those parameters or just dropping in for a chat - it would just be too weird and uncomfortable for me. Anyway, if you don't even have that, then I feel for you which is odd in itself because I really don't do empathy - I guess I can manage it here this because I actually can relate. Anyway... I'm really looking for something deep and meaningful here but to be honest - I got nothing
  8. Hello all I've been reading the forums for a while but up until now haven't posted anything. I figured it was time I made the leap and introduced myself. I'm a 39 year old man, single, I don't know if I have AS or not for sure but it seems pretty likely, I'm currently receiving CBT for anxiety and they plan to refer me so I'll know for sure soon enough I guess. My (now ex) girlfriend was pretty convinced of it though. I've read a lot of the posts on here and I can say already that at least I'm not the only one that feels and acts the way I do. My work life is pretty good, I manage to keep it together pretty well, I'm a data analyst, I'm good with numbers, computers, programming languages, data, I guess that's my thing. It's only a struggle when I have to give presentations, I still find that pretty scary. Anyway I suppose at work, I'm just thought of as "blunt", but work is easier somehow - I know the rules that everyone operates within, there's a purpose, it's easy to work out people's intentions. My home life on the hand isn't so good. Like I've read from many others on here, I have many acquaintances, but I don't know that I'd call them friends, and they're all contained in boxes, I have badminton friends, computer friends, work friends and I only see those groups of people within the confines of those boxes if that makes any sense?... none of them are drop in for a cup of tea friends... I'm not sure if that's because of the way I am or just that on some level I don't want them to be? Anyway, I've read through this about 50 times now so I'm just going to click the button. So, again hi.
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