I am 36 years old, I have had problems socially for as long I can remember and depression and motivation problems. My parents took me to the GP who prescribed antidepressants when I was about 16 and I was sent to a psychiatrist who said I had social phobia.
I was terrified about going to university and used alcohol to help social situations. I started using cannabis to relax and help me get to sleep. I had some friends and met my girlfriend there. I dropped out of my course as I was not interested in some of the modules and probably due to the alcohol and cannabis. I stopped the cannabis after about 5 years.
I have had a few jobs but rapidly became bored with them and was sacked from my previous job for poor performance. I have stuck in jobs for a few years as I am worried whether the new job would be worse and find it very difficult getting to know new people. It took me a long time to adjust and it has been said to me that I hardly said anything for the first 6 months in a job. When I get to know people I try to be funny, but think I say inappropriate things sometimes and swear too much.
A few years ago I was out of work and feeling very low and isolated after moving to a new area so saw a psychiatrist who said I had dysthymia (long term mild depression). I don't have any friends outside of work but get on OK with a couple of people at work. Some people at work say I am intelligent, but others think I am lazy and seem to be irritated by me.
I am still on antidepressant tablets but am trying to reduce them. Recently I have become angry and feel bullied by my boss at work so I went to see a counsellor. I said I wanted to get to the bottom of why I have been on antidepressant tablets for so many years, and feel they have contributed to my weight gain and developing diabetes. I mentioned that I read about aspergers in an article and did the AQ test online and scored quite high (45/50). I was referred to a psychologist who said they couldn't give me an official diagnosis but would be better than an online test. They asked me about my background and history and then at the next appointment did the AQ test and the eyes emotion test.
I scored in the normal range for the eyes test, but high for the AQ test. They said the results of the two tests were contradictory, but I have some aspects of aspergers that are causing problems. I am confused as it does not give me a clear answer and I don't know how reliable the AQ test is and was hoping for more in depth testing. I did some more reading online and found that there is some overlap with aspergers and ADHD and the difficulty concentrating and switching between things are things that I have problems with. I have lots of unfinished electronics projects at home and it is becoming full of bits and pieces. Trying to sort things out is becoming overwhelming. I spend hours on the internet each night, browsing the web and buying things on ebay.
They offered to meet my boss to discuss. I really did not want this as I don't want them to know, as I feel they won't understand and I don't want special treatment or to be made fun of by work colleagues. Also I want to be certain before telling people. I wanted to understand for myself why I have problems and try to improve ways of dealing with things. I avoid doing things that make me uncomfortable, such as confrontational situations. I find myself getting more angry and frustrated as the blunting effect of the antidepressants is reducing, but have more energy to do things and feel closer to an explanation to some of the problems I have.
I would appreciate some advice on whether the AQ test is adequate for diagnosis or whether it can give a false positive with other conditions such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, social phobia or personality disorder. Where should I go for a full diagnosis? Should I tell my boss?
Thanks for reading.