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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

Mihaela

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Everything posted by Mihaela

  1. Desperate

    Thanks Sally & Dotmars. Sorry about being slow answering - for some reason I missed your replies. The NAS advised me to have an advocate, and I do have one although not an expert in AS - so I can only get limited help, but very useful anyway. I'll try and find out about local disability organisations. Meanwhile I'm writing to see that person that the CAB arranged to visit me - on the 8th. "It sounds like you need adult help, and it would be adult social services that would assess you to see what you need help with". Yes, I suppose that happens after this visit - I've no idea really. No, I've no mortgage but it's all very complicated and I've been following the advice of various people. Sometimes they give conflicting advice. I'm living in my parents' old house most of the time, but I've ended up with two others. One was my brother's - he drowned in the sea and no-one knows how it happened. The other was a house my Mum bought for me. She was hoping that he'd look after my money problems after she died, but he died first "Did your mum leave a Will and who [solicitor?] is sorting out the financial side since she died". Yes, and this is still going on. The solicitors made some really bad mistakes and my advocate is trying to make them admit it. (They even gave me a case full of somebody else's private papers!) "This is a disability organisation that should be able to give you some advice". I'll try this next week. The phone line is only open until 1 p.m. and it's 2 now. "but if you have anyone you trust 100%, they could be a good resource to pull upon, to make sure you don't get ripped". My cousin can't really help very much. She doesn't know what's best. She said I didn't need house insurance and the other day my advocate insisted that I had it, but I had no idea the houses weren't insured. Yes, the solicitors severely ripped me off - it cost 5 times the estimate bill! AND they made many serious mistakes. "a trusted person from your own life, would be a valuable asset to make sure what your mum left to you don't get streamed off in lawyers fees". But now my brother's gone there's no one left who could do this. I've now just had a call from my surgery to say my doctor wants to see me for a 'routine appointment'. The receptionist didn't say any more and I'm worried. A few days ago my psychiatrist spoke to my cousin on the phone asking about my childhood. (At last!) She gave good answers, so I hope things start moving now, but why would the doctor want me? Could there be a connection? It's never happened before. What should I do?
  2. housing officer

    I can well believe it, but please give details. He needs an advocate speaking for him, and the bullying needs to be addressed and must not be allowed to go on.
  3. Positive fun things people like

    Playing with my three cats. (I'm never lonely when they're around, and they happily travel around with me on buses and trains). Acting my age (12ish!) - whenever I can get away with it. Listening to many kinds of music - especially Moldovan/Romanian. Walking in wild places. Beauty in all its forms.
  4. Hello Everyone

    I'm sorry to hear this, Titan. For me, I desperately need a diagnosis, and find the waiting very stressful and draining. If your diagnosis has caused others to treat you worse then that's their problem, not yours! Employers have a legal duty not to discriminate against Aspies. It's clear that you need support and you're not getting it. I'm in a similar position, and it's very hard work getting what we're legally entitled to under the Autism Act. No point having this law if it's being disregarded
  5. I occasionally go through long periods of tiredness and exhaustion - lasting several months, but this hasn't happened for some years now. I never managed to get to the bottom of it, but I'm pretty sure is was linked to depression and/or hypoglycaemia.
  6. One word association

    abundantly
  7. What book are you reading at the moment?

    Arsène Lupin, Supérieur Inconnu by Patrick Ferté - for the umpteeth time. It's a lengthy work on the esoteric nature of Maurice Leblanc's novels - the secret meanings behind the popular French stories about the gentleman burglar.
  8. is anyone into abandonments/ urban exploring?

    Yes, I've been doing this on and off for many years. It began in my childhood exploring old ruinous thatched cottages due for demolition in the name of 'progress' (new housing estates). I've explored abandoned schools, an asylum, an ice-house, an oilfield, farms, an orphanage, an empty manor house, a hermit's cabin, a charcoal-burner's shelter, many cold war bunkers, etc. - gathering bits of ephemera when I could. They evoke a poignant awareness of the transience of life, forgotten lives and the ultimate futility of so much human endeavour. They are full of surprises and interest, and remind me of how insignificant we are, and that in the end nature will take over from us. SIC TRANSIT GLORIA MUNDI
  9. I wholeheartedly agree! We couldn't do a worse job than the self-styled 'experts', and we'd probably do a far better job. I think we have many advantages over the types of NTs who rise to positions of power. We tend to scrupulously honest and have have high principles, we don't break promises, we're reliable, loyal, able to see a situation from different angles, less concerned with power and status, and less likely to be narcissistic. We're deep and careful thinkers. We care more, we're sensitive, we care for animals... (All these are listed as common female-type aspie traits).
  10. This dangerous hastily drawn-up law amounts to forced self-incrimination, as well as a flagrant invasion of our privacy. We all have a human right to protect our personal information in any way we can, including the use of encrypted data (I do so myself). Yes, we still theoretically have a legal right to silence, but it would seem that this right is uniquely ignored when it comes to computer passwords. As far as I know this law is peculiar to Britain (and possibly Ireland). I know that there is no such law in any mainland European country - and not even in the USA, where they tried to introduce something similar, but as it contravened US constitutional rights, it was quietly shelved. Also just supposing I was to forget my password (either genuinely or to claim so), what could they then do? Would I be locked up for what could well be a genuine lapse of memory? No court could ever prove I had intentionally withheld it. As with any other offence, the onus should be on the police investigation to prove an offence has taken place, and not on the defendant. It's scary ...and downright unethical - the kind of law one would expect in Nazi Germany!
  11. 50 Shades of Guff (aherm, Grey)

    I agree, Lindylou - it's a pile of pap. I've not read it, but I've read about it and dipped into a few random pages (I work in a charity shop and we're sick of seeing this book). It popularity speaks volumes about the mentality of modern English-speaking women. *sigh*
  12. Do you believe in life after death?

    I hope you're right, Aura. At least that's what I want to believe. Keeping my fingers crossed
  13. Do you believe in life after death?

    My theory, for what it's worth: I suspect that the 'soul' (our being) transcends space and time. It is simultaneouly immanent and transcendant; it knows no boundaries. It doesn't reside in the brain - which is merely the interface between our body and our being. When unconscious, our brains temporarily lose communication with our being (for physical reasons), although that being still exists (but not in our brains). When our bodies die, our being (soul) becomes part of the collective unconscious, which in a sense it always was. Our being develops with the help of our physical bodies (and along with them) and is affected by inherited genes and all life's experiences, but is separate from our bodies. Time and space are inseparable from matter, and our being is 'spiritual', i.e. beyond matter, and therefore beyond time and space. We can only think in terms of matter, time and space because while tied to our bodies we can (normally) only experience a material world (via our usual five physical senses). Our 'reality' is subjective, for it depends upon our subjective senses; it's not the true reality. Occasionally, some of us experience the world beyond those senses, if only momentarily. We can only guess at what happens after death. Do we meet our loved ones again? Do we still experience suffering? Do we 'pay' if in life we deliberately caused harm to others? Are we reborn as other people? There's tantalising evidence for all of these, but that doesn't mean I 'believe'. I'm sitting on the fence! I can think and talk about death on an intellectual level, but emotionally it frightens me - just as it would a child, for emotionally I never 'grew up'. (That doesn't bother me, it's all I know, but it can cause difficulties with the NT world).
  14. What book are you reading at the moment?

    A difficult question. I have many books on the go at once - with about 3000 to choose from - covering a great range of subjects. I read fiction and poetry too, including 'good' children's fiction. My mind's too active, but it's always been like that, so it's all I know.
  15. Desperate

    Thanks for the replies. I'm seeing someone rcommended by the CAB in a couple of weeks who may be able to help, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Just to clarify things, A few weeks ago I saw a psychiatrist (only a couple of months after my referral) for an AS diagnosis. He saw me for an hour, but I've heard nothing since - so I'm still waiting. In the meantime my executive dysfunctioning remains unchanged and I have no help. In the short term, I need help with dealing with bills etc. Everything is on hold at the moment, but I don't know for how long, as I hear nothing from people. I can manage my small amount of shopping quite well, as long as I don't have a panic attack. (I had one the other day in a supermarket and just left my shopping there and ran out). I'm not lonely, but I feel isolated and very vulnerable. I have a few friends and I often work at an animal rescue centre as a volunteer which is very therapeutic. I think my Mum had Asperger's too, she only had few friends and they died before she did. This leaves nobody but a cousin who isn't really in any position to help. I'll just have to wait and see I suppose.
  16. Hi! I'm Aviva

    Goedemorgen, Aviva! One of my many interests is European languages, and I once very laboriously translated a book I have (De Verloren Konig by Jos Bertaulet) from Dutch to English. I'd be very happy to help you with your translation in any way I can. (By the way, I used to listen to a lot of Dutch music. My specialist language is French, and at present I'm learning Romanian).
  17. casandra syndrome

    This has often happened in my life. I've often been told that I know too much, but I also have a weird intuition about things that defies logic. People see me as a rational thinker, for my intuitive side is usually far less obvious but it's equally powerful. It can be very useful, but at times it has annoyed others. (I'm not sure whether they truly hate me because of this - a few might have done). I've also experienced what I can only term 'paranormal' happenings such as extreme sychronicities, déjà vu, déjà vécu, frequent lucid dreams, mild synaesthesia, etc. My rational side can't make any sense out of all this, but I can hardly deny its existence. It's just part of me, and always has been.
  18. I can see myself in much that you say, Howl. We Aspies are supposed to have 'special interests'. Mine is philomathia - an obsession with gathering information (not trivia but serious stuff) - so, in a sense, I have very many special interests. (This tendency has led me to become a polymath in 4-5 very different areas - my specialised interests). Like you, I'm a left-leaning libertarian but I can't abide political correctness (I dislike all ideologies) and hold onto many 'traditional' values. My thinking is deep and logical and I enjoy complex intellectual challenges, yet at the same time I'm equally intuitive. I'm equally attracted to the arts and the sciences, inspired by beauty, love and truth and have very high principles. I'm also prone to flashes of insight. All this baggage has disguised my AS for most of my life, and I've been described by a psychiatrist as 'an enigma'. I now know that it's an atypical presentation of AS. Like you, my Aspie traits aren't at all obvious most of the time, for I've learnt to copy others and hide them. It's for this reason that I never suspected my 'difference' to be due to AS - i.e. the stereotypical 'extreme-male-brain' view of AS. However, I score very highly on the various published lists of female AS traits - I suffer the usual meltdowns, have many sensitivities, OC traits, feel alienated from the NT world, have executive dysfunction, etc. and all this has been with me throughout my life.
  19. Desperate

    Thanks, Mel. Yes, I spoke to my GP a while ago who referred me to a specialist, and I'm still awaiting a formal diagnosis. All this waiting can be so frustrating and causes situations to get worse. I'll try the CAB tomorrow. Just doing these things, such as having to repeat my story and explain things to strangers, is very stressful and tiring. Even travelling there, the noise of the traffic, busy places, etc. (I have lots of sensitivity issues). I'll let you know how I get on.
  20. Feel like wanna talk with somebody.

    Hello, I'm so sorry to hear of your difficulties. Life isn't easy. Although your daughter has Aspergers this needn't be a problem at all. It's the way others treat her that can be a problem. It's good that she's had this early diagnosis. I was bullied badly at school and at that time nobody knew why I was different. I've struggled with being different all my life, but now manage quite happily unless others treat me badly. Don't let your daughter feel that getting the diagnosis is bad in any way. There are many good things about being an Aspie, and she needs to be encouraged to develop them. I was called weird too at school and had no friends. People can be so cruel, and the schools should never allow bullying. Unfortunately so-called anti-bullying policies are only too often ignored. Have you ever thought of teaching her at home? I've seen many sensitive children flower when taken out of school. Bullying can cause lifelong damage, and your daughter must be protected from it at all costs. By the way, I still have very few friends, and none are very close, but thanks to my interests I'm never lonely. You said neither of you have friends. I lived with my parents for years, and they had few friends too. Maybe you could both find friends who share your interests. Please PM me if you ever want a chat
  21. Coping with anxiety.

    I feel anxious whenever there are people about, when the phone rings, when the post arrives, etc. I cope by keeping my mind ever active with distractions, or escape into the woods. I always wanted to live in a hut in the middle of a wood with animals for friends Instead I've ended up with 3 houses and just cannot cope with them as I have impaired 'executive function' - due to AS, as yet undiagnosed.. I understand exactly what you mean about having builders in the house. It would drive me mad. If you can, try to to get out to wild places.
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