Mihaela

Playing with my three cats. (I'm never lonely when they're around, and they happily travel around with me on buses and trains). Acting my age (12ish!) - whenever I can get away with it. Listening to many kinds of music - especially Moldovan/Romanian. Walking in wild places. Beauty in all its forms.

I'm sorry to hear this, Titan. For me, I desperately need a diagnosis, and find the waiting very stressful and draining. If your diagnosis has caused others to treat you worse then that's their problem, not yours! Employers have a legal duty not to discriminate against Aspies. It's clear that you need support and you're not getting it. I'm in a similar position, and it's very hard work getting what we're legally entitled to under the Autism Act. No point having this law if it's being disregarded

I occasionally go through long periods of tiredness and exhaustion - lasting several months, but this hasn't happened for some years now. I never managed to get to the bottom of it, but I'm pretty sure is was linked to depression and/or hypoglycaemia.

abundantly

Arsène Lupin, Supérieur Inconnu by Patrick Ferté - for the umpteeth time. It's a lengthy work on the esoteric nature of Maurice Leblanc's novels - the secret meanings behind the popular French stories about the gentleman burglar.

Yes, I've been doing this on and off for many years. It began in my childhood exploring old ruinous thatched cottages due for demolition in the name of 'progress' (new housing estates). I've explored abandoned schools, an asylum, an ice-house, an oilfield, farms, an orphanage, an empty manor house, a hermit's cabin, a charcoal-burner's shelter, many cold war bunkers, etc. - gathering bits of ephemera when I could. They evoke a poignant awareness of the transience of life, forgotten lives and the ultimate futility of so much human endeavour. They are full of surprises and interest, and remind me of how insignificant we are, and that in the end nature will take over from us. SIC TRANSIT GLORIA MUNDI

I wholeheartedly agree! We couldn't do a worse job than the self-styled 'experts', and we'd probably do a far better job. I think we have many advantages over the types of NTs who rise to positions of power. We tend to scrupulously honest and have have high principles, we don't break promises, we're reliable, loyal, able to see a situation from different angles, less concerned with power and status, and less likely to be narcissistic. We're deep and careful thinkers. We care more, we're sensitive, we care for animals... (All these are listed as common female-type aspie traits).

This dangerous hastily drawn-up law amounts to forced self-incrimination, as well as a flagrant invasion of our privacy. We all have a human right to protect our personal information in any way we can, including the use of encrypted data (I do so myself). Yes, we still theoretically have a legal right to silence, but it would seem that this right is uniquely ignored when it comes to computer passwords. As far as I know this law is peculiar to Britain (and possibly Ireland). I know that there is no such law in any mainland European country - and not even in the USA, where they tried to introduce something similar, but as it contravened US constitutional rights, it was quietly shelved. Also just supposing I was to forget my password (either genuinely or to claim so), what could they then do? Would I be locked up for what could well be a genuine lapse of memory? No court could ever prove I had intentionally withheld it. As with any other offence, the onus should be on the police investigation to prove an offence has taken place, and not on the defendant. It's scary ...and downright unethical - the kind of law one would expect in Nazi Germany!

I agree, Lindylou - it's a pile of pap. I've not read it, but I've read about it and dipped into a few random pages (I work in a charity shop and we're sick of seeing this book). It popularity speaks volumes about the mentality of modern English-speaking women. *sigh*

I hope you're right, Aura. At least that's what I want to believe. Keeping my fingers crossed

My theory, for what it's worth: I suspect that the 'soul' (our being) transcends space and time. It is simultaneouly immanent and transcendant; it knows no boundaries. It doesn't reside in the brain - which is merely the interface between our body and our being. When unconscious, our brains temporarily lose communication with our being (for physical reasons), although that being still exists (but not in our brains). When our bodies die, our being (soul) becomes part of the collective unconscious, which in a sense it always was. Our being develops with the help of our physical bodies (and along with them) and is affected by inherited genes and all life's experiences, but is separate from our bodies. Time and space are inseparable from matter, and our being is 'spiritual', i.e. beyond matter, and therefore beyond time and space. We can only think in terms of matter, time and space because while tied to our bodies we can (normally) only experience a material world (via our usual five physical senses). Our 'reality' is subjective, for it depends upon our subjective senses; it's not the true reality. Occasionally, some of us experience the world beyond those senses, if only momentarily. We can only guess at what happens after death. Do we meet our loved ones again? Do we still experience suffering? Do we 'pay' if in life we deliberately caused harm to others? Are we reborn as other people? There's tantalising evidence for all of these, but that doesn't mean I 'believe'. I'm sitting on the fence! I can think and talk about death on an intellectual level, but emotionally it frightens me - just as it would a child, for emotionally I never 'grew up'. (That doesn't bother me, it's all I know, but it can cause difficulties with the NT world).

A difficult question. I have many books on the go at once - with about 3000 to choose from - covering a great range of subjects. I read fiction and poetry too, including 'good' children's fiction. My mind's too active, but it's always been like that, so it's all I know.

Thanks for the replies. I'm seeing someone rcommended by the CAB in a couple of weeks who may be able to help, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Just to clarify things, A few weeks ago I saw a psychiatrist (only a couple of months after my referral) for an AS diagnosis. He saw me for an hour, but I've heard nothing since - so I'm still waiting. In the meantime my executive dysfunctioning remains unchanged and I have no help. In the short term, I need help with dealing with bills etc. Everything is on hold at the moment, but I don't know for how long, as I hear nothing from people. I can manage my small amount of shopping quite well, as long as I don't have a panic attack. (I had one the other day in a supermarket and just left my shopping there and ran out). I'm not lonely, but I feel isolated and very vulnerable. I have a few friends and I often work at an animal rescue centre as a volunteer which is very therapeutic. I think my Mum had Asperger's too, she only had few friends and they died before she did. This leaves nobody but a cousin who isn't really in any position to help. I'll just have to wait and see I suppose.

Goedemorgen, Aviva! One of my many interests is European languages, and I once very laboriously translated a book I have (De Verloren Konig by Jos Bertaulet) from Dutch to English. I'd be very happy to help you with your translation in any way I can. (By the way, I used to listen to a lot of Dutch music. My specialist language is French, and at present I'm learning Romanian).

This has often happened in my life. I've often been told that I know too much, but I also have a weird intuition about things that defies logic. People see me as a rational thinker, for my intuitive side is usually far less obvious but it's equally powerful. It can be very useful, but at times it has annoyed others. (I'm not sure whether they truly hate me because of this - a few might have done). I've also experienced what I can only term 'paranormal' happenings such as extreme sychronicities, déjà vu, déjà vécu, frequent lucid dreams, mild synaesthesia, etc. My rational side can't make any sense out of all this, but I can hardly deny its existence. It's just part of me, and always has been.

I can see myself in much that you say, Howl. We Aspies are supposed to have 'special interests'. Mine is philomathia - an obsession with gathering information (not trivia but serious stuff) - so, in a sense, I have very many special interests. (This tendency has led me to become a polymath in 4-5 very different areas - my specialised interests). Like you, I'm a left-leaning libertarian but I can't abide political correctness (I dislike all ideologies) and hold onto many 'traditional' values. My thinking is deep and logical and I enjoy complex intellectual challenges, yet at the same time I'm equally intuitive. I'm equally attracted to the arts and the sciences, inspired by beauty, love and truth and have very high principles. I'm also prone to flashes of insight. All this baggage has disguised my AS for most of my life, and I've been described by a psychiatrist as 'an enigma'. I now know that it's an atypical presentation of AS. Like you, my Aspie traits aren't at all obvious most of the time, for I've learnt to copy others and hide them. It's for this reason that I never suspected my 'difference' to be due to AS - i.e. the stereotypical 'extreme-male-brain' view of AS. However, I score very highly on the various published lists of female AS traits - I suffer the usual meltdowns, have many sensitivities, OC traits, feel alienated from the NT world, have executive dysfunction, etc. and all this has been with me throughout my life.

Thanks, Mel. Yes, I spoke to my GP a while ago who referred me to a specialist, and I'm still awaiting a formal diagnosis. All this waiting can be so frustrating and causes situations to get worse. I'll try the CAB tomorrow. Just doing these things, such as having to repeat my story and explain things to strangers, is very stressful and tiring. Even travelling there, the noise of the traffic, busy places, etc. (I have lots of sensitivity issues). I'll let you know how I get on.

Hello, I'm so sorry to hear of your difficulties. Life isn't easy. Although your daughter has Aspergers this needn't be a problem at all. It's the way others treat her that can be a problem. It's good that she's had this early diagnosis. I was bullied badly at school and at that time nobody knew why I was different. I've struggled with being different all my life, but now manage quite happily unless others treat me badly. Don't let your daughter feel that getting the diagnosis is bad in any way. There are many good things about being an Aspie, and she needs to be encouraged to develop them. I was called weird too at school and had no friends. People can be so cruel, and the schools should never allow bullying. Unfortunately so-called anti-bullying policies are only too often ignored. Have you ever thought of teaching her at home? I've seen many sensitive children flower when taken out of school. Bullying can cause lifelong damage, and your daughter must be protected from it at all costs. By the way, I still have very few friends, and none are very close, but thanks to my interests I'm never lonely. You said neither of you have friends. I lived with my parents for years, and they had few friends too. Maybe you could both find friends who share your interests. Please PM me if you ever want a chat

I feel anxious whenever there are people about, when the phone rings, when the post arrives, etc. I cope by keeping my mind ever active with distractions, or escape into the woods. I always wanted to live in a hut in the middle of a wood with animals for friends Instead I've ended up with 3 houses and just cannot cope with them as I have impaired 'executive function' - due to AS, as yet undiagnosed.. I understand exactly what you mean about having builders in the house. It would drive me mad. If you can, try to to get out to wild places.

My mother died over 2 years ago, leaving me entirely alone. I was having bereavement counselling when serious mistakes made by solicitors and the local council caused my life to get even worse. I now feel as vulnerable as I did when a child, and often burst into tears without warning. My parents had always protected me and handled money matters. I miss them so much as I have no-one to talk to. I just can't grasp dealing with large amounts of money, as I only ever lived off 'pocket money' all my life. I don't undersatnd bills, the jargon, my short-term memory's useless, I can't plan ahead, etc. I don't answer the phone (don't even want one), never open mail and my 'meals' now amount to one sandwich 3 times daily (using a single slice of bread each time, and they never change). I spend more on cat food than on my own food. I went without water for 6 months (used a stream), and have no hot water. I've no idea how much or little I can afford to pay so I spend the bare minimum, I often have panic attacks when out shopping and end up coming back with nothing. I've been reading intensely about Asperger's and I'm 99% sure that I have it, and it's haunted me all my life. My parents never realised. I've no idea where to turn for help. The stress of phoning is bad enough, and I don't seem to be getting anywhere however hard I try. I need support, I know I do, but how can I get it? Any advice much appreciated. Thanks.