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Posts posted by Mihaela

  1. Thanks for the update. If they'd have acted intelligently from the beginning none of that would have been necessary, and a lot of public money would have been saved. What good do all the heavy-handed tactics do? None at all, just more harm. They can be pretty incompetent when it comes to autistic people - they haven't got a clue.

  2. Hi Dreamboat. I've been through all this too, but now at last, I'm resigned to the fact that I must make the most of my life (and my talents) to make up for lost time and too much worry. There's no point in chasing chimaeras and we need to look out for potential signs of burnout before it hits us. Not easy. The effort of 'trying to be normal' for so long just isn't worth it - it's too stressful for me and it takes its toll.


    You don't recognise yourself as fitting the AS stereotype because you're female, and most of us don't fit it. Read up on the female traits, and you'll probably find you fit them very well, as I do. This little lot should keep you busy!








  3. Welcome to the forum, Bluedog.


    I don't have children but I do have autism (and signs of OCD and ADD) and I've met quite a few children with these conditions. Have you looked into any local autism/carers groups. That would probably be the best way to get help and advice. I wish I'd had an early diagnosis - it would have helped me so much. The main advantage of getting a diagnosis is that you should be able to receive support for your daughter. Also in years to come, she won't need to go through all the trouble that I did to get support. Getting a diagnosis late in life is also not as easy, for we learn to camouflage our symptoms.

  4. Yes, it's quite common to be diagnosed with both. It's possible that you may have been misdiagnosed the first time with ADHD, and that they're not prepared to admit it. That can happen too. If you think you have ADHD,then you probably have. I think I have slight ADD (undiagnosed) along with my autism.

  5. No it's not a bad thing at all. The better we know ourselves the more content we'll be. Discovering that I was on the autism spectrum was a great relief for me too, for everything made sense about my life and my difficulties - as well as my talents. It was like the final piece of the jigsaw slotting into place.

    I had to look up tangle hairy. I love things like that, and can't stop fiddling with them! Very relaxing. I stroke my cats a lot maybe for the same reason. I don't think I have ADHD but I do think I have ADD. My brain's hyperactive, and my body less so, although I've always liked quite energetic activity. I don't have dyslexia but I do have dyscalculia.


    You said in a way it was a bad thing - but equally it's a good thing! It's the way NT people treat us that's bad.

  6. Confused, EF is a big problem with me too, and I agree the best thing for all of us is to be ourselves, and stop acting neurotypical. It causes no end of problems. Just because some of us are so good at 'passing for normal', more and more demands are put upon us that we simply can't cope any more, and we end up having 'burnout' - a breakdown.


    Abagley - depression and anxiety are so very common among Aspies, and I find they're entirely due to the way the world treats us - unfairly and without even trying to understand. You're not alone. There are so many of us having the same difficulties, and we need to support one another. I'm fast losing faith in the 'professionals'.

  7. I had trouble with all that too. I was advised against applying as it would have been be too stressful for me to cope with. I wish had an advocate. I feel as if I'm bashing my head against the wall. So much for the Autism Act! :(

  8. I'm so sorry to hear that. It all seems so very unfair.


    I'd tell them you're exactly the same person as you were before your diagnosis, and there's just no reason at all that should be treating you any differently. It's not as if you've suddenly contracted a disease. Your mother should know better than to say that. It must be very upsetting for you. If they really care about you the very least they could do is respect your diagnosis and learn more about what it means. It wouldn't just help them better understand you, but it would be far better for your own mental health too. They're making it hard for you, when they should be making things easier.

  9. Hello Anna! You can spell my name any way you like :) I agree - having a shared interest is a good way to find friends. I'd like to meet you too, but we live a long way apart and I've no car either. Project Aspie sounds interesting. If you go, let us know what you think of it.

  10. It really is very much an Aspie thing. I'm the same, and so is my best friend, and I know others too who don't like it. We're asexual too and I'm sure our sensory issues have a lot to do with that. I tolerate hugs but I don't enjoy them, especially tight, long ones! It's a relief when they're over with. As for kissing - eurrrgh! :o

  11. "They forget to include that I have Aspergers and that affects me".


    This is the trouble I'm having too. My autism affects avery single aspect of my life, and it must be taken into account by all mental health professionals. I fear so many simple don't understand it, and if we allow them to ignore it, whatever therapy we get could have the opposite effect.


    "I am trying to cope with my sensory overload. It's also very difficult because I do a lot of sewing to block my depression and negative thoughts, I then do too much..."


    Same here. I use my intellect to distract me, but I fear I'm losing it. My brain simply can't cope with the sheer volume of information any more, not to mention my daily panic attacks and sensory overload. I now do a little mosaic work which helps calm me, and I may well take up sewing again.


    "I live in a world where people treat me like a alien. I am trying to educate others about my Autism".


    Me too, I'm ever aware of being different - and educating others only works if they're prepared to be educated. I find that many aren't, including some of my relatives.

    "Before my diagnosis people took advantage of my money because I was too kind. I have to be careful now who I trust. It makes my anxiety worse".


    Oh yes! I know exactly what you mean. I've been taken advantage of like that all my life. Even now I still find it hard not to trust people. My being 'too kind' has led me into some very stressful situations. Could your depression be existential depression? Mine is, but I never realised until recently.


    "It is very difficult coping with mental health and having Aspergers".


    It ties my mind in knots and I feel on the verge of insanity at times. And all because the NT world can't be bothered to understand me and accept me for who I am.


    "My social worker said I can change my thoughts. I am not sure that is right".

    Nor me. Social workers seem to know very little about our condition. If they're unreasonable negative thoughts, then I believe we we can change them. Sometimes I feel that those who can help us most are other Aspies, for we're more likely to understand each other.

    "I wish society would see what damage and discrimination they do".


    If only! It's been horrific in my life - and all that damage takes its toll on our mental health.


    "I am proud to be a Aspie and I do care for others".


    Me too, very, and I being so caring has often led to my downfall. Even so I wouldn't want to be selfish, cold and inhuman like so many NTs prove themselves to be - once they've used me and dumped me.

  12. Gender dysphoria is 6-7 times more likely for those on autistic spectrum, than in the neurotypical population - highly significant. Many people on the spectrum see themselves as androgynous. This is an area needing much more research. My own research suggests that certain genes associated with autism predispose us towards gender dysphoria/androgyny. The trigger for this would be a hormone imbalance during a critical period of pregnancy. Similarly, such imbalances can also cause physical intersex conditions - the now banned drug diethylstilbesterol (DES) being the most notorious example.

  13. It's a shame no-one's replied to your post. My time is limited on here at the moment, so I can't give you the detailed reply that I'd like to. For now, all I can say is that I feel you're expecting too much from him. I have 'female type' AS, and never properly 'grew up' either, and have remained much the same ever since my early teens. We all have our weakness, but we also have strengths and talents which must be encouraged. I'm sorry you feel helpless and fragile, and I know how it feels - for I've felt like that for all my adult life.

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