Mihaela

There are some very interesting points here that I want to comment on, but I have to go out now. I'll probably have a lot to say later though

I agree with you completely, Canopus. The whole area of Jewish origins and genetics is a minefield, a hopelessly tangled labyrinth - even though an enormous amount of research is going into it. It's complicated by Jewish marriage traditions and migration, and the fact that there are many different Jewish 'races' that all share the same very ancient origins. Much of the research is aimed at preventing various medical conditions - quite a number, and found largely or exclusively among Jews. Ashkenazim show skewed IQ results - e.g. they're better than average on verbal and numerical than on spatial abilities. The cause of their much higher average intelligence are still debated, and are not properly understood. Another racial group with high intelligence are the East Asians.

Grrr! It's done it again! Why are my posts doing this? Luckily I'd saved the rest, after yesterday's wasted time on a post. They may not have always handled them well, but unfortunately they never knew that I was autistic. They still loved me though, in spite of my difficulties and eccentricities. What are the main problems with your parents and partner? It's so tiring and frustrating and just horrible having to put up with your loved ones constant bewilderment and annoyance at everything you say and do, isn't it? you start thinking you're such a burden. At least if you got a diagnosis they wouldn't be able to blame you for the way you are. You're not a burden. They make you a burden by not accepting your 'difference'. Have you tried getting them to read up on the subject, although they'd need to have a willingness to learn.

Hi Skinnyweirdgirl, and welcome to to the forum! (I presume you're skinny and weird - like me. LOL) My daughter and I are currently on the waiting list for assessment for aspergers (i'm in my thirties and my daughter is a pre teen) and I have recently realised that it's also incredibly likely that we are both bi polar as well. I'd be very cautious about suspecting your daughter is bipolar (or even yourself). Of course, it's possible, and it quite commonly occurs with AS, but often the symptoms are misinterpreted as bipolar. Children at around puberty often have mood swings and this would seen as being within the normal range. Misdiagnoses of various kinds are only too common when a psychiatrist doesn't specialise in autism. I've had a lot of experience with adults who are bipolar - sectioned under the MHA many times. Witnessing full-blown manic episodes is very frightening and can be dangerous. It's good that your friends accept and support you. My parents had seen me have many meltdowns over the years. They may not%2

The perfect response LL, and it's so easy too. If we're not honest with ourselves, we are betraying ourselves and falling short of our human potential. And let's not forget that it's not only Aspies who fake it. NT's do it in a much more ambitious way, and NT society as a whole is built upon dishonesty - one reason why it's perpetually struggling with its own demons.

I think the priority would be to ensure that the holiday was as stress-free as possible. I find every about going on holiday alone very stressful, and have never organised a holiday for myself. I wouldn't be able to cope with the paperwork unless it was very clear and kept simple. The travelling would need to be via the least stressful routes, and the holiday itself would have to be in a quiet rural place with very little traffic and no crowds.

I Was wondering if scared people about the way i see and what to do things . It takes more than that to scare me. There's nothing wrong with curiosity as long as it harms no-one (or no animal). i don't want to be female but highly fascinated about how it feels and females have so much more things to do life than males. i always want try corsets. Nowadays they seem to, but at one time they didn't. I think it's unfair that males are more socially restricted in what they can wear. btw I've never worn corsets, but I can't imagine they're very comfortable. I need to snap out off because i can't try anything but if loved on my own i would purposely buy thing of the internet to try them. it driving to doing things like looking at photos and sites then driving me wanting to try them more. I'm beginning to understand things more. You have a type of OCD, and like all OC traits it's your way of coping with stress - either the general stress of being an Aspie in a neurotypical world, or stress caused by other problems in your life. If possible the stress needs to be removed. If you feel your OC traits are becoming an addiction and harming your life, or making it difficult, you need help. CBT can usually help with these things, and you'd need to ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist. Good luck.

Welcome back HH! I'm a newcomer here, and I've found it very useful and made a few good friends. I prefer this forum to others I belong to.

Yes, it very complex! I'll answer your question later, Canopus - I'm having great trouble making complete posts at the moment.

I'm 6 months into a supposedly 10 month wait for a diagnosis. I feel I need to know either way to help me make decisions about important things in my life. I can well understand your need to know, but I can't understand why you have to wait so long. ...mindless gossip are banned in my Facebook world, as it's my main source of news and discussion on the serious stuff going on in the world, since I gave up on the mainstream media. Most of my friends are involved in climate change, environment, politics and other serious stuff. Mindless gossip is banned from my entire life! Although not actively involved in those subjects (apart from endlessly signing petitions), climate change and the environment are close to my heart, and probably the most serious matters there are at present. (I have no interest in the party political system, except from a philosophical or psychological point of view. I see it as an expression of neurotypical and psychopathic power struggles). Cute dog pictures are OK though, as I post them!! This is flagrant discrimination against cats! Didn't you know that cats are furry Aspies, and are the thinking person's dogs? Although I'm always petting cute dogs (and would like one again) cats have an elegance and aesthetic appeal that dogs generally lack - hence their popularity in art and the proliferation of cat books and cute cat photos (several times more than those of dogs). I've written at length on feline-human psychology, art symbolism, etc. It's a fascinating subject. I also run groups and pages for my big project, and am an admin for other groups. So switching off from it for a couple of months is no doubt leading to some problems, and blowing my credibility. I keep looking at the Facebook bookmark in my browser and wondering if I should click on it, but I can't face it yet. I've had several specialised (as opposed to special) interests - which satisfy the polymath criteria, for they are unconnected with one another. All but one have outlived their time for various reasons, and my need to do further research has reduced. They're all as relevant as they ever were, and they remain important to me. With the help of those who followed in my footsteps, they have virtually completed what I set out to do alone. Sometimes they make silly errors which irritate me, but on the whole I'm happy not to be in the driving seat any more. Often I don't get the recognition I deserve, but I do get the private satisfaction of knowing that I have an influence for the good. I'm saying all this because I've effectively switched off myself, at least from my public research into those particular areas. A few people may have felt that I'd abandoned them. A few asked to have me back. However, I felt that time was right% GRRR! This is all so frustrating. I've lost the rest of my post due to a fault on here. Very briefly : choose option 3 but do it now, not later. I'm sorry for I'd explained why but I don't have the time to rewrite all I said.

I'm 6 months into a supposedly 10 month wait for a diagnosis. I feel I need to know either way to help me make decisions about important things in my life. I can well understand your need to know, but I can't understand why you have to wait so long. ...mindless gossip are banned in my Facebook world, as it's my main source of news and discussion on the serious stuff going on in the world, since I gave up on the mainstream media. Most of my friends are involved in climate change, environment, politics and other serious stuff. Mindless gossip is banned from my entire life! Although not actively involved in those subjects (apart from endlessly signing petitions), climate change and the environment are close to my heart, and probably the most serious matters there are at present. (I have no interest in the party political system, except from a philosophical or psychological point of view. I see it as an expression of neurotypical and psychopathic power struggles). Cute dog pictures are OK though, as I post them!! This is flagrant discrimination against cats! Didn't you know that cats are furry Aspies, and are the thinking person's dogs? Although I'm always petting cute dogs (and would like one again) cats have an elegance and aesthetic appeal that dogs generally lack - hence their popularity in art and the proliferation of cat books and cute cat photos (several times more than those of dogs). I've written at length on feline-human psychol I'm 6 months into a supposedly 10 month wait for a diagnosis. I feel I need to know either way to help me make decisions about important things in my life. I can well understand your need to know, but I can't understand why you have to wait so long. ...mindless gossip are banned in my Facebook world, as it's my main source of news and discussion on the serious stuff going on in the world, since I gave up on the mainstream media. Most of my friends are involved in climate change, environment, politics and other serious stuff. Mindless gossip is banned from my entire life! Although not actively involved in those subjects (apart from endlessly signing petitions), climate change and the environment are close to my heart, and probably the most serious matters there are at present. (I have no interest in the party political system, except from a philosophical or psychological point of view. I see it as an expression of neurotypical and psychopathic power struggles). Cute dog pictures are OK though, as I post them!! This is flagrant discrimination against cats! Didn't you know that cats are furry Aspies, and are the thinking person's dogs? Although I'm always petting cute dogs (and would like one again) cats have an elegance and aesthetic appeal that dogs generally lack - hence their popularity in art and the proliferation of cat books and cute cat photos (several times more than those of dogs). I've written at length on feline-human psychology, art symbolism, etc. It's a fascinating subject. %

Note for admin/mods - it's double-posted for me twice today, again this first post was incomplete and ended with "%2".

I'm so pleased to hear that you're coping better and that the Sertraline is harmlessly doing what it's supposed to. I hope that remains so. Your friend is right. None of us should see our thinking methods as a bad thing, and we must put this uniqueness about us to good use. We must never be ashamed of the way we are. We are a lot more principled than the average neurotypical person, and we should never forget that. I'm an infoholic, I collect many things, and information is one of them. I don't just collect it for the sake of it, for I make use of it too, I've always had an insatiable love of learning (which makes me a philomath) and I think it's me trying to make sense of the world and the behaviour of the people within it. Collecting is a classic Aspie coping mechanism. I have to be careful that my obsessive compulsive collecting doesn't reach the hoarding level and take over my home. Don't ever think what you know is pointless. It may seem pointless to most people, but it isn't to you, and nor would it be to certain others. However, I do find the NT world obsessed with truly pointless trivia - such as celebrity gossip, the 'soaps', etc. We should have better things to do with our minds than let the mass media (which only exists to make money for already rich people) take us over. Unlike you, I get on very well with children and meet them at their own level. I worked with children for about 20 years, mainly girls (3-15). I find boys generally more difficult for I identify with them less, and they tend to be more rowdy, which makes me stressed. I don't like to see aggression in anyone - child or adult. Emotionally, I'm like a 12yo so I get on best with that age group - more so than with NT adults. I feel a lot safer with children or animals, for NT adults have caused all my bad experiences in life (they also have had hidden agendas, which I find threatening - control, money, sexual, etc.). I'm too trusting and have become very wary of their hidden motives through bitter experience. Although I casually observe children (for I understand them), I closely observe adults - for I don't properly understand them - and never will. I also get on very well with adults with learning difficulties. Have you any idea why you find yourself interacting less with the children?

Sorry, there was technical glitch again. The same happened the other day. The post double posts and the first one is incomplete and ends with "%2". very strange. :/

I am 33 and have by accident or intervention been left to find out alone without support that I have always had a mental deficit, a lifelong disability, I suffer from autism. I too was left to find out on my own and later in life, but I don't see myself as suffering from autism. I suffer from some the associated conditions such as sensory processing sensitivities, executive dysfunction, anxiety, etc. but I don't suffer from my autistic traits themselves - honesty, loyalty, a strong sense of justice, a love of animals, special interests and talents. As for social problems, I see them more as the problems that the NT world has when interacting with us. Why should we be expected to adapt to a world which is highly dysfunctional, unethical, hypocritical, etc.? We can't anyway, for our brains are wired to give us a very different worldview. Aside of the trauma and distress awareness brought I can see the extent of a damaged and distressing past. The ultimate insult was finding out ! not abuse my entire life but being able to identify why and the seemingly irreparable damage. Gradually I found out why, too. Although I've been damaged by manay traumas, autism wasn't the cause, but rather it was the way the NT world treated me. They were the cause of my damage and distress - and still are. Yes, the damage is seemingly irreparable, and we are extra-sensitive to trauma, bulying, persecution... The abuse I can identify at 2yrs old though most likely from conception, lifelong mental and physical traumas exacerbated by further neglect resulting in more difficulties, thus creating further damage beyond adjustment or repair (seemingly), this is autism. No, it's not autism. It's the price we pay for the way we are treated. Imprisonment has been the only intervention in my life and definitely the most positive thing that ever happened to me, is that normal ? No, but I can understand it. I can identify the cause and cure, something which is surprisingly unavailable. And what might that be? I believe due to the weakness I've become an easy target Me too. We are naive and 'too' trusting. In themselves that is good, but it makes us very vulnerable. We're not good at manipulating others, but our NT persecutors are, and they home in on people like us. I've been exploited all my life - by 'friends' and organisations (who should know better, but are out of control). I will suffer further trauma through emotional abuse so I feel unable to lead life normally with the knowledge the suffering far outweighs any potential positive outcome if any were indeed possible as human nature denies me the cure or freedom from the consequences. Although I'm suffering a lot at present, I always seem to bounce back - for a while at least, and during that period I'm my usual optimistic self, or even idealistic. What drags me down most is the knowing that needless suffering (human and animal) is constantly taking place in the world, thanks to ruthless psychopaths in powerful positions. My suffering is just a tiny part of that whole. My acknowledgement was motivated by rejection from a social website that provoked me to type Aspergers into Wikipedia, from there it became my focus about 8 weeks ago. NT's can be so good at rejecting us. We don't fit in so we're made the scapegoats. There is no source of accessible help anywhere, only more abuse round every corner. Autistic people are being traumatised and distressed by you. There is help, but you've sometimes got to battle to get it, and you may need more than what is provided. ...Exactly! It is NT's who traumatise and distress us. They are at fault; not autism. Quite obviously we have a sociable nature but I am denied sustained positive emotional attachment of the hive (empathy & mentalizing) allowing me to develop the same brain functions. I agree. We are social at a one-to-one level, although we're often seen as 'loners'. The majority of us who are, are loners by default rather design. Who is denying you? A 'horrific nightmare' may help you visualise what life is like when your constantly emotionally manipulated or labelled disabled and incurable, either way abuse on top of abuse. I see myself as an autistic person with both disabilities and talents. I try to use my talents as much as I can, yet sometimes stress prevents me. Emotional abuse has gained significance as a criminal offence so where are my rights ! I've been abused by a neurotypical society / neurotypical people and don't experience your compassion, feel your sympathy or have any special treatment that I am aware of or not, far from it. Yes! The same applies to me, and it speaks volumes about the double standards that are rife in NT society. I have little respect for a system whose laws aren't applied equally to all. I've felt the full force of the law (and broken it to my regret of the suffering caused) where appropriate though not as a disabled person and further gross injustices by the authorities I am still unable to comprehend cognitively. So have I, although I have never caused suffering - instead, bad laws have caused me suffering. And yes, not as a disabled person. Autism should always be taken into account, for it can explain why laws are broken. We may not even be aware that we've broken a law, or the law may be so vague that it becomes meaningless and serves no real purpose - yet we are still punished by a pathologically punitive system largely run by psychopathic personalities on power-trips. Social interaction is significantly equal to the situations I face with any form of government organisation. That can apply to me too. Government organisations should know better. The Equalities Act is being routinely flouted by the very organisations it was mainly intended for, and the Autism Act doesn't seem to have made any great impact either.

Same here, Nell. An early diagnosis would have made so much difference. Even with loving parents my life has been very hard, and I've had more than my fair share of suffering. Like you I experienced 'discipline' and bullying at school - and as an adult, and it continues. Without my parents I wouldn't have survived this long. I often wonder how many discover our autism in later life, and how many never do and continue to suffer the confusion of 'not knowing why'.

Hello Wesley and welcome to this oasis of sanity in a mad and dangerous world. I identify so much with all you say. Many of my experiences mirror your own. Unfortunately I can't answer your very moving post now as I really must go shopping for food. I've spent most of the morning writing emails to various 'authorities' who are supposed to be helping me. My whole life has blighted by stupid neurotypical people who have exploited me time and time again, because of an accident of birth. Believe me, you have my compassion - and the way we're treated makes my blood boil ! I'll be back later.

Luckily we spent our holidays in quiet places and out of the way beaches. I could only take a certain amount of going round shops before I started getting restless, complaining, wanting to go home, dragging my parents away, etc. I never changed in that way throughout their lives.

That didn't stop us from going to beaches. My dad swam about while the rest of us paddled or stayed on dry land watching from a safe distance

Oh, I see now. Sadly, this is only too common with children on the spectrum. The pressures and social life of secondary school are so different from primary school, and the sudden transition at 11 can be very traumatic. (I'm a great believer in middle schools- which made life so much easier for all sensitive children). The problems of that transition are well known to any child psychologist who works with autistic children. All the signs you mention should alert them to this. Your daughter does need to see a psychologist who understands autism, not just any LEA educational psychologist. Her health matters far more than her education. I went through hell at school from age 11 onwards, and although I've survived, sometimes I wish that I hadn't. I was never diagnosed until recently, but luckily for you, your daughter has been diagnosed early. You need to make sure that they use that diagnosis to help her; not make her life worse. I'll do anything to prevent a child going through what I did at school. Please keep us informed.

Thanks for your fascinating post, MikeC. While all the equipment was left in there every time i went use the bathroom usual at breaks and lunch. i would use the equipment to see how it works and feels and never been caught for doing it. Was it the thought of taking a risk and not getting caught, or was it just something about wanting to feel what it was like to be someone with disabilities who needs to use that equipment? Then i used to help in the autism base and go in there in the holiday club. i use to like it there being on the same level as everyone else and i even tryed the padded time out room while someone sat outside watching me. Here again you're wanting to actually experience what others have to experience. During school i only tryed things when i felt comfortable to do it, like the time in p.e i know there was no girls so i asked if could change in the girl changing room and i did. I suppose the girls' changing room was no different to that of the boys, so did you do that just to say that you'd used a room normally used only by girls? Since leaving school i been getting urge to try things and see how it feels for people it getting to point off mad thoughts of ways to do it. and just wishing i could still do it but don't know how now i'm an adult. What kinds of things? You may be an adult in age, but that doesn't mean you are one emotionally. I know I'm not! I been wanting to try for ages, being in a police transporter, police station. jail. being in rta and in hospital unable to move and living a week being wheelchair bound amongst others. You seem to have such high empathy that you want to experience the suffering of others for yourself. By the way I have two friends who are wheelchair bound, and I've been in wheelchair race! I also quite like leggings and female clothing i know weird but they have so many choice unlike the men so i want to try them. I wouldn't call it weird, for it's very common. Often this can mean that you're not happy in the gender you were given at birth. Also the bit about using the girls' changing room could mean this too. My people watching is same to this where i sit on bus, train whatever and watch what it other doing and if there lost i always offer to help them. Same here. I just can't help it. I think all of us quietly watch NTs, and it's a good thing, for it can help us learn how their minds work. Why do you feel you need to snap of this quickly? If it's taking over your life then it sounds like and unusual form of OCD. OCD is always caused by stress and anxiety, so do you have any idea what could be causing it for you? If the cause can be removed then the symptoms will go. But I'd only start worrying about it if it was affecting your life badly or affecting other people. If is isn't then, you just have obsessive compulsive traits rather than a disorder. ( I have many OC traits myself, and lately they've become a disorder again - especially when I'm out. Some days it's far worse than on other days).

Thanks for your fascinating post, MikeC. While all the equipment was left in there every time i went use the bathroom usual at breaks and lunch. i would use the equipment to see how it works and feels and never been caught for doing it. Was it the thought of taking a risk and not getting caught, or was it just something about wanting to feel what it was like to be someone with disabilities who needs to use that equipment? Then i used to help in the autism base and go in there in the holiday club. i use to like it there being on the same level as everyone else and i even tryed the padded time out room while someone sat outside watching me. Here again you're wanting to actually experience what others have to experience. During school i only tryed things when i felt comfortable to do it, like the time in p.e i know there was no girls so i asked if could change in the girl changing room and i did. I suppose the girls' changing room was no different to that of the boys, so did you do that just to say that you'd used a room normally used only by girls? Since leaving school i been getting urge to try things and see how it feels for people it getting to point off mad thoughts of ways to do it. and just wishing i could still do it but d

Interesting. I too was put off swimming for life by my school experience. My extreme phobia began on the very first day I entered that terrifying old Victorian building as a timid 8-year old. Even before I entered the pool I was terrified. I felt as I was being punished for some reason, led there like a lamb to slaughter. My sense were overwhelmed. Everything about the place was alien and caused me intense anxiety. The echoing, the smell of chlorine, the cold uninviting cubicles, the wetness everywhere, the changing and drying routine, the rusting railings, etc. The teacher, a cold-hearted authoritarian woman, forced me down those deep steps until I was chest-high in cold water. I had many bad experiences during the 'teaching' process itself. Until the bullying began a couple of years later, swimming was the biggest trauma I had suffered. Like most of my rites of passage it was extremely traumatic and I still suffer the scars. My mother couldn't swim, and brother too never learnt to swim as a child, but did so later in life and thoroughly enjoyed it. He could swim like a fish and often visited the Black Sea, the Yugoslav coast, Lake Balaton in Hungary and Lake Ohrid on the Albanian border. Swimming was his life, yet, ironically his life ended by drowning.

Talking of emotions, I cry a lot, and when under great stress even over the most trivial of things. Sometimes I cry out of frustration for all the needless suffering the state of the world. Sometimes I cry for no known reason - a feeling of loss sweeps over me, or a feeling of my 'smallness' in the world. I find difficulty showing affection to humans, but not to animals. Putting my arm around somebody can seem unnatural, although I do do it when somebody is unhappy or upset. I'm never sure whether it's the right thing to do at the time, or how long I should do it for. Sometimes I may regret not having done it. It all really confuses me. I find much of the emotion expressed by NT people as shallow and affected. Genuine emotion is the only type that I can understand and identify with. I can't understand how any caring parent would react negatively to their adult son or daughter having a diagnosis. It should come as a relief and a welcome explanation of why their child was always 'different'.

I know several 'high-functioning' Aspies with bus passes. My support worker is arranging for me to have one. The requirements should be the same across the country. Instead it seems something of a postcode lottery