ASPIE partner lies about secret woman

[ASPIE partner lies about secret woman]

My aspie partner lied for 10 years hiding secret women he was chasibg hoping to have a child . I thought that was all over . 
 

now he’s showed huge con artist deception skills to hide a woman platonic hiking buddy  who fot one year he’s hidden from me 

Presenting himself as a single man

Befriending a single  woman  

HAVIng hours of long chats flirtation attention

going on long drives

long day trips /hikes secretly 

and spending months planning secret overseas trips and planning travelling together for weeks 

lying completely to me re where he was travelling hiking chatting and with  who 

Hiding  this other female platonic woman completely 

living with her in the sane  hotel rooms but separate beds  for weeks overseas 

I was so shocked and traumatised about being a sitting duck for so much deception secrets lies

About another woman even if platonic  

if I don’t like hikes , then healthy couples do walks that both can enjoy

sone men or women can’t walk much I can 

but their spouses don’t go running across the world with with secret friends  of the opposite sex

there's so much that is wrong about all this 

but he doesn’t understand at all 

the shock and trauma  betrayal I’ve suffered in so many ways is enormous 

yet he thinks as long as he didn’t have sex with her he’s fine nothing wrong 

Presenting himself as a  single   man 

 

befriending a sibgke woman 

Enjoying  the attebtion

connecting chatting making huge plans over a years 

all secret

even multiple secret  overseas trips

he wouldn’t even share his itinerary

or tell me the day he was returning 

it’s such a terrible way to treat the woman he loves deeply 

abd  APPArently  his selfish self focused brain doesn’t understand what’s is obvious to everyone else of honoring the one on one relationship he has and how bad this is what he’s done

 

deciding to give a hiking travelling roll to a sibgke soman

and hiding it all from the loyal loving woman in his life

Lying chatting plans day trips long drives 

 if soending huge  time secretly  with the opposite sex 

planning overseas travel without me 

keeping me in the dark with so much cruel deception 

and  instead  secret travel with this other  woman and lying deceiving me for a year now for so mich

now that he has this single friend he won’t drop her 

he could have easily found male hiking buddies

he won’t 

no one wants me to stay with such a selfish cruel deceptive liar 

[why cant he understand when i need quiet. how can i explain it so he understands it. He understands it as a personal rejection when i need quiet.]

why cant he understand when i need quiet. he fights thinking its a personal rejection

it can be when i'm stressed, sick, tired, concentrating on something eg driving ( i cant drive in peak hour traffic to somewhere new and listen, some people can, but i cant. )

when we go away for the weekend most motels or holiday homes have one tv, sometimes only one room, and i am very noise sensitive and he loves watching documentaries some of which just have endless talking which i find gives me headaches. some peole listen to music or watch other shows but he likes radio and tv that are documentaries with endless talking and the noise is just too much for me. I've had hard life and my health is worn down and i need quiet and i get physically ill,( headaches migraines tight muscles) from too much endless noise.

I bought him the best cordless headphones so he can enjoy tv but i can sleep , rest , read, enjoy quiet even while away and sharing a small motel room, but he said it would take too long to set them up and he stormed out and returned home when i couldnt take the noise anymore after trying with earplugs and then with industrial headphones, and finally i couldnt take it and just turned off the tv as i just needed some quiet already. It was actually my holiday and he ruined it and left me very tense from all that loud noise of a particularly loud and stressful program he was watching.

How can i help him understand when i need quiet. there are times that he needs quiet or feels ill and i do everything to help him. but he doesnt understand when i need quiet and he takes it as a personal rejection and makes such draining fights. how can i explain this so that he understands.