Shaye

It has been going on for a while now he has complained of "banging" "plate smashing" "screaming" "laughing" he also complains of a bad person named "Christopher" who tells him to hit his younger brother, or hit me, or break thing but my son says "I won't listen because it's bad" he covers his ears when he hears things and cries and it's only sometimes he will tell me what he is hearing, it can happen at any time of the day. And nothing seems to trigger it, I have told my partner but he said "it's part of his condition his too young to have a mental illness. He isn't on any kind if medication.

Thanks Mihaela It is going to be very difficult for him to adapt to the change of going to a new school, I have spoken about it today I've told him we will go and visit and if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to go there. But on the whole today has been okay, no melt downs we went for a walk this afternoon. Another thing I am concerned he has told me he keeps hearing things in his head and ears, is this part of the ASD?

Oxgirl Hello! Me and my partner have both decided that my son will not be returning back to his current school, like I previously said there has been too many incidents involving the same child. The only way I would consider sending him back is if they permanently excluded the child that is bullying my child. As a mother I am suppose to be able to protect my child which I can't do if I send him back to the same school. I have been on the phone to his best friends mum and we are going to make sure we all keep in touch, we have arranged to meet up on Saturday. I feel relieved that I will no longer have to worry whether I will find bruising on my sons body when we get home from school. I have searched a few schools and I am determined to find the right one for him. I have told my son that he will be going to a new school but he doesn't really understand.

I am pretty furious at the moment, my son was bitten by another child in school today, it happened mid morning and they didn't call me and notify me about it, he was still teary eyed and shaken up at home time. When asked what would be happening to the other child I was told "his mother isn't here to collect him yet but we will be speaking to her when she does come" Am I wrong to think the child should have been sent home? I am sick and tired of the same child thinking it is okay to keep bullying my son I believe he is only doing it because he knows he won't hit back. How long are they going to let this child get away with bullying my son?

Thanks Oxgirl He is sound asleep now, hopefully he will wake up in a better mood tomorrow

Evening all Just another update, my son didn't have a very good day at school today, he refused to speak or listen to any of his teachers, he practically thought it was okay to do his "own thing" all day today. I don't know where this has stemmed from he is usually well behaved but I can admit once he a while he has his "off days" since collecting him he has been very stroppy he didn't want to get out of the car and come into the house, but eventually he did, and just basic other little thing refusing to take his coat and shoes off, then asking to go to "nannies house" (my mums house) I did try and explain to him that he hasn't had a good day at school so he can't go and visit nan, I am trying my best to be firm with him and not give in to him (usually I would have taken him to my mums house) My partner come home early from work today and has gone against my wishes and taken him for a drive, which I'm not happy about. Oxgirl I think you are completely right about me not changing schools so I am going to leave him at the school he is at and try my best to work with the teachers, you are also right about me asking him if he wants to go to school or not, if he said no this morning I would have probably kept him off, I do have problems disciplining him which I am trying to work on, I am very over protective of him and I do wrap him up in cotton wool. I'm 26 years of age and I never thought I'd have a child with special needs maybe if he wasn't special needs I would be able able to deal with "bad behaviour differently)

Mihaela Yes he has meltdowns he will scream and cry, cover his ears and run around the house. He doesn't have them at school but he does cry and get very distressed at school, that is what is upsetting me. He woke pretty early this morning I asked him if he would like to go to school and he said he does because he misses his best friend. I discussed changing schools with my partner late last night he just said "ok go and look at some others" so that's what intend to do. I know changing schools is going to unsettle my son as he doesn't like change it is going to be difficult to make him understand that he soon will no longer be attending his current school, I don't have any ideas on how to tell him - the new school I hope to send him to is about a 50 minute drive, the one he is at now is 30 minutes. In answer to your question he could still see his best friend out of school I would have to discuss this with his mother as it is going to have an effect on him too. Just hoping that my son has a good day at school today and there are no incidents, I will update you all nearer to the end of the day.

Laddo since that incident my son has spent Tuesday park time at school. I don't know if sometimes you feel the same way, but when I tell people certain things they make it seem like I am exaggerating then it gives me the kind of illusion that I am exaggerating, but in my head I know that I'm not. I am not going to raise these issues with the governors just incase they think I'm being petty and difficult like Oxgirl said. My main concern is my son not getting upset and distressed whilst at school.

Oxgirl you don't have to apologise it's fine I am not the type to go in all guns blazing, I actually find it hard to confront his teachers and teaching assistants. I am just annoyed that the things I have stated have upset my son and caused him distress. I am thinking how these things can be prevented in the future. Maybe I could send him with two drinks so if one goes missing he has another one? In regards to Tuesday trips in the park, I could tell him to make sure that he uses the bathroom before he goes to the park and if he does need to go whilst in the park it's okay for him to go without me being there? Do you think that will help and avoid him getting upset?

Well they acted like it was more or less standard procedure, it happened around 2 months ago would it still be worth taking it to the governors? I wouldn't want them to think that I am being petty and making a fuss out of nothing. I have been looking at a small private school that caters for children only with ASD I just need to discuss it with my partner, my main concern is that I will be taking my son away from his best friend and I don't know how he will deal with the change

Thanks Laddo every time my son comes out of school distressed I always write it down in my booklet, even though it's my son who experiencing the bullying I actually feel it as well. Oxgirl I am on good terms with the school but they keep failing my child. I am going to give you a few examples. The school allows the children to bring in drinks to school which they can have during lesson times - when my son asked a teaching assistant for his he was ignored, it actually turned out that another child have taken it, his teacher did offer him an alternative, which I was grateful for, but my son knows what is his. Another incident - He dropped his little container of grapes on the floor and they all scattered over the floor and the teaching assistant said that it is okay to eat them (my son is a food refuser, he always comes back with his packed lunch box the way I packed it with none of the food eaten, so that day he must have been very hungry. Third incident - There is a park 10 minutes away from the school which my sons class visits every Tuesday, my son needed to go to the toilet, he was taken by the teaching assistant to a secluded area of the park and told to go, the school didn't notify me of this they just told me that he got "very upset in the park" and had to be taken back to school. When I confronted them about it the next morning I was told that "They thought it would have been easier rather than take him back to school" I found that very unprofessional as well as inappropriate some one please tell me if you think I'm exaggerating. Sometimes I think it would be best if I moved him to another school.

Hey just a quick update, my son has told me why he didn't want to go to school today, the reason was because he was scared and "don't like other kids touching or hitting him" I haven't asked him if he wants to go in tomorrow, but when I do take him back to school I am going to ask his teacher and teaching assistants if we can have a meeting, it makes me feel anxious and some what angry that my son has told me this. On the whole he has had a good day at home, I watched a DVD with him and my 3 year old, and we also did some reading together, my son doesn't understand that now the clocks have gone back that it gets darker earlier so he wants his bath around this time and is usually in bed by 6.30.

Trekster thanks for the warm welcome & advice, but I don't think that would be such a good idea, he doesn't like to play with children that he isn't familiar with, the only child he speaks and plays with whilst at school is his best friend, of course I'd love him to have a variety of different friends but he just isn't interested Hey Oxgirl thanks also for the warm welcome I am glad you understand as 90% of the time I feel so alone. Hopefully my son will want to attend school tomorrow, I try my best not to force him into doing things.

The school he attends caters for children also with ADHD and other behavioural problems, I have pleaded for them to keep an eye on my son whilst in the classroom but they always fail to. He doesn't like going outside to play at break times as it is too noisy for him, they do provide indoor play, my son has a best friend at school I have become very good friends with the child's mother also. Thanks you are being very helpful, I am going to try and take my son and my 3 year old out for a walk in the park today.

Hey Mihaela My son attends a specialist school, he is refusing to go to school this morning he has already had a meltdown I won't know the reason behind it until later that's if he decides to tell me. In terms of his school every time he is at school I feel uneasy and on edge the only time when my mind is at rest is when he is at home with me because that's the only way I can protect him. He has been attacked and hit by his classmates before which has left him in distress, instead of them calling me and asking me to collect him they've waited until the end of the day when I've collected him. Thanks for replying guys, I am going to be a regular poster !